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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Does it matter if he lies about his age      Home login  
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 sweetsmilesjust4you
Joined: 1/14/2013
Msg: 2
Does it matter if he lies about his agePage 1 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
If a person can't even tell you the truth about their age, would make me think they wouldn't have trouble lying about anything else either.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 4
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 8:18:04 AM
Back when I was meeting guys from online I found that if they lied about age it wasn't just by 1-2 years. They shaved off at least a good 5 years.
While I didn't care about the actual age so much.. I DID care about them just not being comfortable with themselves enough to present themselves as they actually are.
If someone isn't comfortable with their own self ... how can someone else be comfortable with them?
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 5
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 8:21:14 AM

If a person can't even tell you the truth about their age, would make me think they wouldn't have trouble lying about anything else either.


+1


When I first came here, I was contacted by someone whose profile showed them as being a couple of years older than I was. Just before we were going to meet, he messaged me and told me that he was actually 10 years older but because he felt he looked younger than he was, he wanted to have a partner who appeared the same age.

I was stupid and new to on-line interactions and so pushed aside my gut reaction that a liar is a liar and I met him. It soon became clear that this wasn`t a nice person. He routinely manipulated the facts to garnish the results he felt entitled to having. He didn't/couldn't see that he was trying to remove the free choice of others by his misrepresentation. Chances are if he'd just said the truth about his age, I wouldn't have thought any more about it but in paying closer attention because of this first lie, it became clear that this was his default mode to get what he wanted.

All I lost from the interaction was an hour of my time but I took from it a valuable lesson so I wouldn't say I wasted my time in meeting him. When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
 sN0Flakes
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 6
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 8:25:43 AM

If a person can't even tell you the truth about their age, would make me think they wouldn't have trouble lying about anything else either.


+2

He came clean when he figured he didn't have to lie. Conditional conscience. Tell him you're ok with him being with whomever he chooses while you're committed to him. You'll have an open relationship. Otherwise...crickets.

Lies about age...you even sure he's not a woman;)

Sorry ladies.....it was there...I had to use it.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 8:26:21 AM
I'd say you need to find out the actual truth before making a decision!!

If he is lying.......don't make his excuses for him.
The fact you would allow a man to lie to you while looking for the good qualities...speaks just as much about you as it does him.
Never ignore the red flags.........and never settle. Period.
 Talllkonnly
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 9
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 8:32:33 AM
That would not bother me if he came clean on the first meet. Some people can't relate to their own age group in a physical way or mental way sometimes and want to meet a generation they feel more comfortable with. It's hard to keep up a age lie though and he would then have to keep it up with more lies like when he graduated High School, etc,etc.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 10
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History
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 8:51:17 AM

Some people can't relate to their own age group in a physical way or mental way sometimes and want to meet a generation they feel more comfortable with

SO? Why not just be honest and say that instead of lying?
Lying about one's age just reeks of self issues.....and those issues will manifest into relationship issues.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 11
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 9:00:08 AM
jennysi1060...what makes you inclined to believe he is older than stated?
Maybe he will give you a look at his Motor Vehicle Driver's License! :-)
Ensure you have all the facts before making decisions here...good luck.
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 12
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 9:11:10 AM
I really can't tolerate lying on any level. And I realize age is just a number and maybe shouldn't be that big a deal when you're looking at the big picture, but it would cause me concern about what else he may lie about.

But you've been talking to this guy and regardless of the lie, if his age doesn't bother you, maybe you should go ahead and meet him. In my experience, I've never run across a "lovely, warm person on POF" ... he may be a keeper.

Good luck!
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 13
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 9:15:20 AM
Posted by phoenix_55:
"...In my experience, I've never run across a 'lovely, warm person on POF'..."

What about all those whispered sweet nothings we shared for years?
Are you breaking-up with me?!?! ;-)
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 14
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 9:37:02 AM
^^^Eric_Summit ... you're a charmer. How could I break up with you?
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 15
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 11:23:07 AM
I have the complete answer for you. Everybody wants to be or look like they are healthier and younger these days, it's popular.

However, integrity and trust are one of the pillars of a relationship... it is so important, trust levels are actually tied to love, and go up and down with love levels, and can actually make love die, or prevent love from ever happening. Literally, you can only love someone as far as you can trust them.

But many women lie about their age, it is a little white lie. It does not necessarily mean they are a compulsive liar. This lie is very common place. I'm not saying it's good, just that it's not a major infraction. But for the people reading this - don't do it - it could only hurt you in the end, as evidenced by this thread.

But this guy here has a high chance of being okay. He told you before he even met you, he came clean, with no prompting.

If it has not turned you off too much, I would go with it and check him out. Just verify that he is mostly honest as you go along.

Honestly is an absolute requirement in a healthy, long term relationship.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 11:52:43 AM
Please show me where OP stated this man has admitted to the lie (if it is a lie).
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 17
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 12:12:22 PM

...but his last message to me seems to indicate that he has been less then honest about his age.

What exactly does this mean?
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 18
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History
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 12:24:08 PM
^^^Yeah, I don't get that..Less than honest? Hm..
I also wonder what was the indication?
He said he had lunch with Elvis?
 Gracizdad
Joined: 9/24/2012
Msg: 19
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 2:40:35 PM
Here are my thoughts on this one...Everyone tries to put themselves in the best light! If someone fudges a little bit ( 1-3yrs) thats ok with me but when someone misrepresents him or herself by 4, 5 or more years then he or she is intentionally deceiving.
Now before I get nasty responses or vicious attacks let me ask this: How many women will tell someone their exact weight? thats right! not very many....
So to recap...a little fudging is ok, a lot of fudging is misrepresentation...
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 20
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 2:42:07 PM

I also wonder what was the indication?
He said he had lunch with Elvis?

Hee, if it was that, I definitely think she should meet him! It would not be a dull date!
 moonchildMN
Joined: 9/28/2012
Msg: 21
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 2:55:42 PM
you don't know what your own values are? Really?

Hey, if you're ok with a guy that flat out lies, you can have him....takes one more loser off the market.
 rainbowcolors
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 22
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 3:21:37 PM

How many women will tell someone their exact weight? thats right! not very many....
So to recap...a little fudging is ok, a lot of fudging is misrepresentation...
I weigh 127lbs and could stand to loose four or five pounds, but I don't lie about it.

I went out with one guy from the middle east who told me he is was 42. One day he left a piece of paper in his car with his birthdate on it and I confronted him. He was 51 and he told me that in his country they made a mistake with his birth date. The list goes on about how many people lie and even some lie about multiple things. You just sit there with your brain wires going everywhere as you relearn that the person does have kids, is ten years older, and is married to someone 'back home' but they didn't want to enter into the marriage. I need a googly eyes emoticon to insert here!
 GingersnapWA2
Joined: 11/26/2009
Msg: 23
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 3:31:05 PM
If he thinks it is okay to lie about his age, more than likely he thinks it is okay to lie about other things, too. Stop putting up with/making excuses for this behavior before you regret it. (I been there, done that, got the t-shirt, used it for a dust rag and threw it in the trash!) Think hard about this, OP. Do you actually WANT someone who thinks it is okay to lie to you? If you do, then you need to work on your own self-esteem first, then seek someone with Integrity.
 needmorefriends
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 24
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 4:35:35 PM
Age is just a number. Why are you worried about age? if he makes you happy go for it.
I personal look way younger than i am. maybe this is why your guy put a different age. At least he had the balls to tell you befor he met. Ask him right out why he lied about his age you might be suprised. good luck
You only live once
 Belluvthebawl
Joined: 2/19/2013
Msg: 25
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 4:45:20 PM
Would it matter more if he lied about being exclusive with you then gave you an STD?? Or would it matter more if he lied by omission by not divulging his heroin habit? Or how about the fact that he stole $100k from his last "girlfriend"??

Are there honestly "acceptable" lies?
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 26
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 4:51:39 PM
However, integrity and trust are one of the pillars of a relationship... it is so important, trust levels are actually tied to love, and go up and down with love levels, and can actually make love die, or prevent love from ever happening. Literally, you can only love someone as far as you can trust them.

But many women lie about their age, it is a little white lie. It does not necessarily mean they are a compulsive liar. This lie is very common place. I'm not saying it's good, just that it's not a major infraction. But for the people reading this - don't do it - it could only hurt you in the end, as evidenced by this thread.

But this guy here has a high chance of being okay. He told you before he even met you, he came clean, with no prompting.

If it has not turned you off too much, I would go with it and check him out. Just verify that he is mostly honest as you go along.

Honestly is an absolute requirement in a healthy, long term relationship.

Age is just a number. Why are you worried about age? if he makes you happy go for it.
I personal look way younger than i am. maybe this is why your guy put a different age. At least he had the balls to tell you befor he met. Ask him right out why he lied about his age you might be suprised. good luck
You only live once

Just in the forums alone...I've seen pix of people that look 10 yrs older than their stated age, no pictures, blurry pix, descriptions of body types, heights & jobs that all seem questionable...

I hate online dating...you have to check off all the lil boxes about yourself...

2morrow nite I have a date w/ a man I met IRL last week. He is older than me, but I dont know if it is by 6 years or 12 years, etc. I don't expect it to be a love connection, but he was intelligent, very educated, attentive to me & asked me out right off. No hemming & hawing. I said yes. He does not know my age, he knows little about me. He saw my bod, talked to me, bla bla bla...

I know other men from IRL who may be the same age as me but they act like jerks, play games, & are basically emotionally unavailable. Maybe he lied to get through to your age restrictions...

Sorry, I do not mean to diss my fellow forumites, but I see many pollyannas in here. I also see many people who seem to have no clue.

I'd say keep one eye open & meet him, you don't have to marry him, sleep w/ him, etc. Maybe he has some valid reason.

The only perfect entity is God.

 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 27
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 5:43:42 PM
To the above post: ^^

I recall when you had posted on YOUR profile, that you age was late 40's - certainly NOT your true age.

Bit of a hypocrite, mais non?

OP: just my opinion, but if he lied about his age, I wonder what else he's keeping hidden.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 28
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/1/2013 5:52:14 PM
^^^I recall & thank u 4 bringing it up- I am not a hypocrite, cuz I am not ragging on the guy who lied about his age. A couple of years ago, I did it & chopped off 10 years, looking 4 an IE, but couldn't go thru w/ it...and when emailed me I told them, yes I am older & that I listed myself younger as to get more hits.

I do look young 4 my age ( I am sure I'll get it 4 saying so) & when I go out IRL, no one ever guesses I am going to be 54 very shortly...

No disrespect to OP, she prob has a few secrets, we all do...
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Does it matter if he lies about his age