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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Men who have no childern after 50      Home login  
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 Hogtownboy
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 1
Men who have no childern after 50Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Do you women see as childless and over 50 as a red flag. How does you handle tell someone that you have losted a child and. In the child choice it is either yes or no.

When would be it appropriate to mention losing a child
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 2
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Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/3/2013 1:00:56 PM
I can see where this would be difficult. I would mention the loss of your child in your about me. Hmmm and for the yes or no, I don't know, some people will only read that far and click next from there. If you say no, they may think you won't understand them having children, and if you say yes, they may pass because they don't want to deal with a child. I think the only other option is child not living at home, which isn't correct for you either.

This is a tough one which POF didn't take into consideration with their forms. Wish I could be more help.
 Hogtownboy
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 3
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/3/2013 1:36:07 PM
Why is this considered a redundant question?
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 4
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Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/3/2013 1:41:38 PM
Your thread title is redundant. It's been done before, but your actual question considering the loss of your child I don't think is redundant. If someone is voting that it is a redundant thread I don't think they bothered to read your actual question. There seem to be plenty in these threads that don't read before they respond.
 Hogtownboy
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 5
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/3/2013 2:02:28 PM
Thanks blue eyes shine I am new to the forums
 Talllkonnly
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 6
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/3/2013 2:10:30 PM
A red flag is when a man has children they don't see or take care of. Over 50 a red flag would be men that have children that don't talk to him. Not having children can be a very responsible thing. I have met lots of people that are poor parents and should have never have had children.
 girliegirl10
Joined: 10/4/2012
Msg: 7
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Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/3/2013 5:20:33 PM
I totally agree with Phoenix55!!
 Hogtownboy
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 8
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:36:26 PM
@bogie and becall do you think it doesn't matter to his father
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 9
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/4/2013 4:26:29 PM
I think it becomes less of an issue if you mention volunteer work with disadvantaged or abused kids or other volunteer work. Shows you have compassion for others and don't just care about yourself. I'm in the over 50 and childless category, so far nobody has expressed any concerns. More regarding my never having married but that's fairly easy to explain.
 Pangaean
Joined: 1/9/2013
Msg: 10
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/4/2013 6:18:43 PM

It's always a red flag for me because my personal experiences I've had with childless men hasn't been good. Many of them are extremely selfish. ~ phoenix_55


Of course, 'many' is not necessarily 'most'.
I'd also be careful about such things as personal experience, anecdote, interpretation, rationalization, or correlation versus causation.

In a world of 7 billion+ humans, what with climate change, resource-depletion, the wholesale destruction of the human footprint on the ecosystem, and resulting theft of our children's future, it would seem to make more sense than ever not to have any.

The self can selflessly transcend what may not be immediately evident, phoenix_55.
 Pangaean
Joined: 1/9/2013
Msg: 11
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/4/2013 6:50:48 PM
@charliesmom21:

I never will precisely understand what it's like to be a woman, either, which doesn't preclude me from having a relationship with one, nor from taking part in the pleasure of getting a better insight with the right and a willing teacher about what it might be like. ;)

Fortunately, those with questionable attitudes with regard to people without children of their own may do everyone a favor by removing themselves from the selection.

As this is being written, the issue of child-abuse comes to mind too. Presumably, the inherent implications here don't need to be spoon-fed?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 12
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/5/2013 11:29:46 AM
My personal experience with men my age who have
never had children has not been good.
That's not to say all men are the same, but it's certainly
something I consider.

I did meet someone who lied about his age, had never been
married and had no children and he could be the poster child
for every stereotype out there, so I could be biased.

We all have something about us that others will find to be a
red flag. The good thing is, we don't have to appeal to everyone.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 13
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Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/5/2013 3:40:19 PM
As a 52 year old man with no children i get the attitude that something is wrong with me all the time...but thats ok,my weekeneds are not spent traveling to the ex's house to get my kids to spend a few hours with them.I'm not pulling my hair out trying to figure out how i'm going to pay my child support for the child i only spend weekends with.I'm not faced with the fact that another man is spending more time with the children i only see on weekends and can barely afford child support for. I'm not wondering how i am going to deal with the endless drama that comes with broken homes....i'm ok with the attitudes and judgements from the people involved in these things,my calm,easy going,relatively drama free life allows me to tolerate it just fine.I saw the wreckage all around me and decided it wasn't for me.
 Pangaean
Joined: 1/9/2013
Msg: 14
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/5/2013 4:05:55 PM

Pangaean ... what else do I have to go on besides my personal experience? ~ phoenix_55


There's much that you can 'go on' beyond your own personal experience. I mean, come on.

charliesmom21 seems to conveniently provide an example concerning their own apparent interpretation, belief or projection about my internal emotional state.
In other words, 'personal experiences' can be limited, imaginary, self-delusional, biased, myth-based, and otherwise false, etc..

A 7+ billion-and-counting human population is a red flag. We are in overshoot.

Solidarity with the childless men and women.
 rgvmale
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 15
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/5/2013 4:57:47 PM
Lol, I best all of you will be singing a different tune when all your kids are grown up and have more free time, who knows?

I don't think any of the ladies have an issue with "being 50 and no kids" but more of an issue with the other person not having kids themselves and knowing what it is like. Can happen at any age group really..Either way I imagine at 50 a man could have a lot of options of women where the kids are out of the nest.
 Hogtownboy
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 16
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/5/2013 11:48:01 PM
[having one die of illness or accident is entirely different than one who died of abuse or neglect or was taken away by the courts.]

I am more concern about how to talk about child who have died. When to reveal and other issues.

I doubt guys that have had children removed by the courts called it lost.

How course I may be wrong as many of the post have surprised me
 Giggles10000
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 17
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/6/2013 1:16:51 AM
OP, sorry for the way some are approaching this--I know your pain--you want to tell about your child but you know --you can almost see it in their eyes when you do--while you might view their life as wonderful and a triumph most people equate it back to how they would deal with it and want to play 20 questions about who, what, when, and how vs just accepting the fact that the child is not longer there.

If you burden someone with all the details it is to much and not enough makes you seem cold or hiding something.

I am very sorry for your loss; however, lets back up a moment. It doesn't matter what most or almost all women care about men with no children after 50--it only matters what the one person you find you want in your life, so stop trying to *FIT the mold of what the majority want in life--enjoy being an individual with a unique life that hopefully has made you a better person with more depth and meaning for the path you have walked, I know it has me and so I don't look to maximize my online experience --what good would a bunch of people liking me do--when I only want one.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 18
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Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/9/2013 12:36:30 AM
I had a relationship with an older, childless man and he HATED the fact that I loved my only child. He had to go....for that and a few other reasons......
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 19
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Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/9/2013 5:02:35 PM
Import from the UK,you are criticising my personal experience with your personal experience....how much sense does that make ? I never knew you existed until now so how was your personal situation supposed to affect what i said ?

The title of the thread is not men and women with no children after 50,but men without children after 50 and should they be veiwed with suspician..with this built in judgement in the title is it not expected that some men will disagree and provide personal evidence as well ?
 Hogtownboy
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 20
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/10/2013 6:32:57 AM
Thanks, you got it, so few do.
Just wish they was a radio button that allows the option. As you can see from some of the responses many women do see it as a negitive
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 22
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Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/10/2013 3:31:46 PM

We are more than just a parent so what is so hard to "get".


this! exactly this... i am NOT just my broken uterus and i don't think a functioning one would make me any better, or less, of a partner to a man with a child.

just as a man with a child who died, or one that lived to give him grandchildren, is so much more than just a parent.

we are the sum of all our parts, thoughts, and actions of which being - or not being - a parent, is one.
 Jennywillwin
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 23
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Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 3/10/2013 4:21:11 PM
As someone else previously stated, there isn't a size fits all answer.


I prefer someone who doesn't have kids but if they do have them, the older they are, the better. I had one child, she's married and has her own life. I don't believe it's a Red Flag if they are fatherless. If they have never had a relationship, now that would definitely be a Red Flag.


A girlfriend of mine who is in her 40's is looking for a family man with young kids, she has 2 young boys of her own. She doesn't want to date a man with no children.


Two very different examples.
 Dinno76
Joined: 10/28/2015
Msg: 24
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 11/24/2015 10:22:14 AM
There is nothing wrong with a man not wanting to ever get married or have children.
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 25
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Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 11/25/2015 12:03:49 AM
These heavily critical and extremely judgmental people were kicking
these guys around a couple of years ago.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 26
Men who have no childern after 50
Posted: 11/25/2015 6:53:45 AM
I prefer men who already have kids and already had he marriage experience, because I don't want either one again. Marriage maybe, but certainly no more kids. If a guy my age or older has never been married, I'd be very wary about that. Fair or not, it just feels to me like something is off.
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