Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dating with a learning disability      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 2
Dating with a learning disabilityPage 1 of 1    

...makes it difficult to pick up on non verbal cues. I also tend to zone out in my own thoughts from time to time.


You mean that's not normal when guys are dealing with women and vice versa? Who knew.
Dating with a learning disability
Posted: 3/4/2013 2:18:07 AM

Have you dated someone with a similar problem?

Yes, once.

Lack of affect /seemingly unenthusiastic about life is not something I am attracted to.

I am to passionate and enthusiast to drag along someone that seems * monotone*through life.

Many out there would be fine with it as long as you provide. Not me.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 5
Dating with a learning disability
Posted: 3/28/2013 12:22:30 AM
No. Like Peppermint Petunia I am too passionate and enthusiastic to drag along a guy with poor social skills. Conversation and laughter are important to me.

Chin up! I hope you find someone who appreciates and understands you. Good luck!
 Sp├ártan
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 6
Dating with a learning disability
Posted: 3/28/2013 12:25:15 AM
Hey bud, the one thing that you are doing that is inspiring is the fact that you are getting out there and trying to date girls. Theres nothing to be ashamed about, many would just say "**** it, im not like others i quit" but you..... you keep on rolling despite what may or may not occur. If the gal you are dating doesnt understand you, then you're more then eligible to help them understand.

The thing that caught my eye was when you stated the bullying and the friend thing. It kills me inside to hear that, you deserved better and i know you will surely be successful. also the part where women dont understand you, that happens to alot of gents, but your reasoning is much more forth going to understand at my point of view.

Between you and I, we are really not that different. Im in the U.S Army, i served on 2 deployments when i was both 18 & 19. I did what I had to do to get home. now when i got home believe it or not i was put into your shoes. when i went on dates with gals, i would zone out, trying to get people to understand what i did and who i am. I wasnt suffering from a learning disability, but i was suffering from something else. the fact that i couldnt tell anyone because they wouldnt understand what im saying even if they were sympathetic.

Now i dont tell anyone what i do in service, not till one day i find that special one as i believe you will as well.

~Infantry
 IonaM
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Dating with a learning disability
Posted: 3/31/2013 5:41:48 PM
I dated a guy with ASD once. It was ok for the first few dates but then it became very difficult. I felt like I was always on eggshells with our conversations. He had a difficult time interpreting what I was saying and was offended very easily. He also had a difficult time with concepts like theory of mind and seeing things from my perspective seemed baffling. Also he was very ridged about certain things and became anxious when things changed. I learned early on I couldn't manage it.

That said, if I were dating, I wouldn't necessarily rule someone out with ASD. In part because I understand social awkwardness. No one has ever tried to diagnos me with ASD but as a child and teen I thought people were completely baffling - the nuance of complex social interactions was lost on me. So, empathy makes me a bit more forgiving than the average person.
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Dating with a learning disability
Posted: 4/1/2013 4:52:39 AM
I've dated a guy with some other "issues" and what might have helped - he told me about them which is good - but if he had explained more how it might
affect our dating life then I would know, is it his conditions or is it that he's lost interest?
SO yeah.
Perhaps that might be helpful, or not?

Usually the guys didn't bring it up straight away like with this guy it was the 3rd time we saw each other we were in an interest group & chatted there before briefly
dating - and he'd started putting his arm around me & stuff, I responded favourably, and that night he told me about his issues.

He doesn't seem to have trouble getting the girls! Like I've seen him with one a month the last three months but are they girlfriends or friends who knows but his conditions
affected our relationship & some others of his BUT if he'd EXPLAINED how his conditions affected him and his love life personally, I would most likely
have felt more secure in that relationship and MAYBE still be with him.
 PugDude1971
Joined: 2/13/2013
Msg: 13
Dating with a learning disability
Posted: 4/5/2013 1:26:11 PM
Having Asperger's has its plusses. I have Asperger's and can tell people it makes me a sensitive and caring soul and that it motivates me to do things I might not otherwise be involved in. The downsides are obvious and the woman you find will just have to accept you for who you are. That's what I expect. Don't give up...
 Tiggiebear
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 14
Dating with a learning disability
Posted: 4/5/2013 1:41:48 PM
Hi Cuddly-Nerd

I feel for you. I have experience working with people with asbergers and yes there is someone out there for you. One of my friends husband has a mild case of abergers, Gerry herself is normal but has brothers in her family that are challenged. She met her husband young and married him. They have a daughter who also has a disability and her husband has asbergers and it affects his eating. Anyway to make a long story short there is someone out there for you. Be patient and look for someone who has a disabilty that you both can share about and feel comfortable with one another. I know of two couplesso, think positive and I wish you all the best.
 Tiggiebear
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 15
Dating with a learning disability
Posted: 4/9/2013 4:04:49 PM
Yes people with asbergers wether a mild case or more severe may be a little different but I still believe you can have happiness and deserve happiness. I found working with people with asbergers or autisim are very smart people. The biigest hurdle is for them to trust. I wish you well and hope you find your match.
 turnitover1959
Joined: 2/15/2013
Msg: 16
Dating with a learning disability
Posted: 4/9/2013 4:33:59 PM
I have Parkinsons and unfortunately have been rejected many times for dates. It has not soured me on dating however. Don't try to hide it just be yourself and hope for the best. Do take any treatments you get seriously as this will help you be the best you can be. Just remember its the disease people are scared of not you
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 18
Dating with a learning disability
Posted: 4/10/2013 9:53:21 PM
you are aware of what you are suffering from and not everybody will understand that. have you tried dating someone with similar case?
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 19
Dating with a learning disability
Posted: 10/22/2016 10:25:31 AM

The other day my mother said I have a hard time "seeing the big picture."


You're not alone.

The vast majority of people have a hard time seeing the "big picture".(excepting me, of course)

Hence the term "can't see the forest for the trees".

Which is why history repeats itself over and over again.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dating with a learning disability