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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 1
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I feel so bad for a friend of mine. She is somewhat of a celebrity and so in the public-eye. She has recently put on some weight. She got the nastiest email today from a man she doesn’t know on her website.

Here is the message: This is NOT anyone who is on POF
I've contacted dancing with the stars and told them I won't be watching if you're on. They've said they know to have you is bad ratings and have not considered you at all. Now chubba, back to the new idea pics. don't you even care about your son and his reputation or feelings of embarrassment at having a fat ho for a mother show off all her fat legs and arms and stretch marked gut in public? You'd do anything to get attention and get in the mags. You won't ever be back on TV because everyone hates you. You should not be showing off all that disgusting skin.

I myself have gotten at least three email’s since joining POF from men letting me know how ugly they think I am.
I don’t know if women are compelled to send men nasty message disapproving of their looks, but men sure seem to.

Has this every happen to any of you? Or have you ever sent such an email?
 Football11234
Joined: 2/24/2013
Msg: 2
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 7:48:24 PM
I get it sometimes. However, I am not in the public eye, if she is a celebrity she needs to grow a tough skin. I work with models and actresses for photos, they know the deal and understand the media is very very very vain. It is all about vanity. Christina Aguilera put on all that weight and owned it, so much so I barely hear about it anymore. She gained weight, everyone is over it because she is not changing for anyone.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 3
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 7:53:37 PM
I take a Buddhist perspective on this.

In that folks that are mean...
are that way because they are suffering.
Not dealing with their own pain well...
they spread it out unto others.
It doesn't get rid of it.
Only distracts them from it.

The meaner the person.
The more compassion I silently give to them.
as they are such a piece of misery..they probably need it.

and that makes it very easy
to cheerfully delete, ignore, and block em.
:-)
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 4
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 7:53:45 PM
That's awful and I am very sorry you were exposed to that crap. I was once obese and I genuinely care for obese people. I'm not attracted to them, but I pity them. They suffer. Every time I see an obese person...I see an old version of myself and I also see a beautiful soul under that flesh.

I think you're beautiful. I viewed your profile and I find you attractive:)

I have sent email to women that look like a 10 but have the most diva like profiles when I've read them. One woman looked like she was wearing saran wrap in her pics and also had pics with younger studs to prove what she was capable of dating. She claimed she was looking for a 'leader of men'....

I emailed her asking if she had any 'business attire'. Read Deleted. LOL!
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 5
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 7:54:22 PM
It goes both ways. Saying mean things are not just exclusive to men only. Someone on here once told me, "the way I looked, I better get used to a lifetime of disappointments". Ha Ha! What I have learned is that mean-spirited people are just trying to over compensate in something lacking in their lives.
 livingdoll83
Joined: 8/31/2012
Msg: 6
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 7:56:32 PM
Unfortunately some people feel like they have to put others down in order to feel better about themselves.
 Luthion
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 7
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Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:03:27 PM
Thats a horrible thing to do, but it is by no stretch something relegated only to men.

She is in the public eye, and unfortunately that opens you up to a lot more criticism. For whatever reason or another, it's become "acceptable" to be inconsiderate and insensitively critical of celebrities and public figures. They forget these people are human.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 8
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:05:07 PM
I get it sometimes. However, I am not in the public eye, if she is a celebrity she needs to grow a tough skin. I work with models and actresses for photos, they know the deal and understand the media is very very very vain. It is all about vanity. Christina Aguilera put on all that weight and owned it, so much so I barely hear about it anymore. She gained weight, everyone is over it because she is not changing for anyone.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Football11234 - It’s one thing for the media say mean things about celebrities to sell advertising space in their papers and on their websites; it’s another thing for an individual to send a personal email for the purpose of being cruel. And as I mentioned it doesn’t happen to just celebrities.

TantricJedi – Thank you for your kind words. I think you’re pretty cute yourself.

Space_Weaver – I’m sorry for your bad experience – I guess Jerks know no gender.
 EyesRgreeN1962
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 9
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:12:35 PM
That's beautiful stray_cat ... good on you
 brinaalina
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 10
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Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:25:48 PM
Who cares??? if someone's in the public eye, there will be lots of people who love them, and just as many people who want to tear them down.
This happens to everyone.
The people who do this are sad, lonely losers who have nothing better to do with their time.

Oh, and women do this just as often as men, lol.
Tell your friend to ignore it and maybe suggest some kind of counseling to help her self-esteem.

-oh, and yes this has of course happened to me, but not since middle school...or high school maybe behind my back :) It's cool.

Remember, the people usually calling you fat are WAY uglier and way fatter than you :)
 Football11234
Joined: 2/24/2013
Msg: 11
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:27:00 PM
I do not agree, and find it to be completely disgusting. When I was younger I was a nerd, I took a lot of criticism and was a late bloomer, boys and girls were equal opportunist bullies. I learned to toughen up, especially in Manhattan, it's the only self defense I have.

You do not deserve it, she does not , no one does. I am not advocating it just stating the sad truth of the industry.


Also, I just checked out your profile and find you to be absolutely beautiful.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 12
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:30:56 PM
I agree with brina (as I often do).. except perhaps the bullies aren't always fatter than those they pick on, but they are definitely uglier.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 13
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Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:42:43 PM
This has nothing to do with men, so why did you frame it with gender?
 Madailein
Joined: 6/9/2012
Msg: 14
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:46:01 PM
When you are in the public eye or a celebrity you know you are going to get: hate, love mail; stalkers and death threats. Most celebs do not read their mail; someone does it for them in order to avoid the unpleasant stuff.

And really, do you believe it is just men that do this.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 15
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:58:45 PM
And really, do you believe it is just men that do this.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Madailein – No, I never said just men do this. I only know my personal experience.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 16
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 9:04:21 PM

I don’t know if women are compelled to send men nasty message disapproving of their looks, but men sure seem to.

That nasty email intended for an audience of one now enjoys a readership of hundreds. To what end?
 Rapunzel1964
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 17
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 9:23:24 PM
Vibrantshe-

Ii is probably because they are miserable, mean little men, and are taking out the fact that momma didn't love them on any woman they can. BTW, anyone who ever tells you you are unattractive is an idiot. Your look is reminiscent of Cher in "Moonstruck."
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 18
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 10:18:50 PM
Op,dont give these types of men a nano-second of your time.

Imo,they're pissed off and frustrated because no ones' interested in them.
 The_Whole_of_the_Moon
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 19
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 10:31:00 PM
MutedEnthusiasm

That nasty email intended for an audience of one now enjoys a readership of hundreds. To what end?

It gave you an opportunity to make another meaningless post.
 Madailein
Joined: 6/9/2012
Msg: 20
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 10:42:43 PM

That nasty email intended for an audience of one now enjoys a readership of hundreds. To what end?


This is why most persons in the public eye do not read their mail. This message would have been trashed by a publicist’s or manager’s assistant. Even when we post on PoF, a public forum, do we not discount, or even not read, messages from certain individuals?

If one in the public eye wishes to read all that is sent to them best adopt Abraham Lincoln’s philosophy.
 RussArtLover
Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 21
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Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/4/2013 10:59:20 PM
because if men say mean things to each other we shoot them. girls just confuse the hell out of us.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 22
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 6:19:14 AM
Men say mean things to women for the same reason that women say mean things to men. They have a notion that the other person is weak and susceptible to bullying.

I doubt there is a person alive who has not had something mean said to them at some point in their lives.
 Belluvthebawl
Joined: 2/19/2013
Msg: 23
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 6:30:01 AM
I'm a full believer in karma!! And I try to say a little prayer for people who are clearly un-happy and lash out.

My latest mean story: My profile states I am here for the forums only. A man sent me a message saying "what is this crap you are here for the forums only.....nobody wants your advice!"

Yes, my "meanie" story pales in comparison to what your friend endured. Please give her a big hug from me and remind her just how beautiful she is!!
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 24
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 6:33:53 AM
OP, I want to believe your story, but aren't they all from Georgia?
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 25
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Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 7:40:37 AM
I expected to get those kind of messages, especially when I put my profile up for review-but I have not gotten one like that. I would say though that it's probably NOT just men who do that. I have seen some comments on the forum that I considered mean. Some people are just that way. Some people do it on purpose to stir up trouble. My philosophy is to just ignore them and consider it their problem and not mine.
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