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 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 2
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New to dating websites. Need advicePage 1 of 1    
Do it organically with the flow of conversation, but hedge towards it as soon as possible to avoid too many expectations being built up before meeting, or getting too much of an "idea" of what someone is like in your own head as opposed to reality.
 Green_MK2
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 3
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New to dating websites. Need advice
Posted: 3/5/2013 2:02:33 PM
Keep moving forward.
If it's not progressing towards actual meeting, it either means the person is not actually available or ready for actual dates, or she's progressing with someone else and you are on the waiting list.
Baby steps, no pressure, but don't get into an endless stream of messaging with no evidence that you can move from the virtual to the real world.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 5
New to dating websites. Need advice
Posted: 3/5/2013 2:39:06 PM
It depends on the conversation that you are having. Usually within two weeks of starting to talk. I prefer to ask for the date first, and the phone number second, since I do not like talking on the phone with a person that I have not met.

So what you do, first she responds to whatever your first emails were about. Then you start visualizing a place. I would include in the conversation, "have you ever been to XX part of town. There's this restaurant with great tapas and usually has a guy playing the guitar." So you start to throw the idea of the two of you together in some public place. Then ask for the meet. After that, back it up with asking for her phone number.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 6
New to dating websites. Need advice
Posted: 3/5/2013 2:39:38 PM
At the top of the main forum screen, there's a forum thread search option. TYPE "new messages" into the box, click on SEARCH and voila! Up will pop thousands of forum posts on this very subject:

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/search.aspx

Read to you heart's content.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 7
New to dating websites. Need advice
Posted: 3/5/2013 3:32:01 PM
I talk on the phone before ever meeting anyone. It is part of the process, email a few times and then phone call and then meet. I have never "just met" without a phone converstaion because I want to know if after the emails, if I still want to meet. I know she would want the same thing.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 10
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New to dating websites. Need advice
Posted: 3/10/2013 7:47:09 AM

I think those that meet without a phone number are making a mistake. There's women who I lost interest in based on their telephone conversation- they suck at talking. It would have been a waste of money to meet them both on gas and coffee or drinks. My demographic- women 23-33 are almost universally texting maniacs and this does not help social skills much.


Some women are on here because they suck at having an interesting conversation with a person away from a keyboard


I only meet people in places I would hang out anyway, and I always know someone in the area, so how am I wasting gas? "Bad meets" (normally from people who are fatter than they appear in pictures) just end with me ending the meet after one drink, and wandering to one of the other places in the area I would hang out at anyway.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 11
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New to dating websites. Need advice
Posted: 3/10/2013 9:03:34 AM
There is no specific answer to those questions. I don't think there is an etiquette.
Some women gets all bent out of shape just by mentioning the possibility of exchanging numbers/meet.
When it is too soon..Again, no specific answer.
I am one of those who asks in the second email, and if she takes it a wrong way well...
I mean she can say no, I don't know you that well, I understand that, but I read that people email for months.
That is just not for me.
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 12
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New to dating websites. Need advice
Posted: 3/10/2013 9:05:40 AM
It's not about the time frame, it's about the level of enthusiasm shown by the person you messaged. If she seems lukewarm in her reply(ies) then it's probably not the right time to press for a phone number. If she keeps replying but still lukewarm, she might be interested but is a poor communicator. You might try, after a few emails, to give her your number and suggest that she give you a call if she would like to talk on the phone.

If she's very enthusiastic in her emails to you, it's probably safe to ask if she wants to move to phone talking. It's been my experience many times that the guy gives me his number and tells me to give him a call if I feel ready. That means more to me than him just asking for my number so he can call me.

If things seem to be going well and moving forward but then she freaks out if you ask to talk on the phone, she's probably nuts.

Basically, if it's a day or two of good emails, go ahead. If, after several days or a week or so and you don't get the warm and fuzzy "call me" vibe, then it's probably best to move on. There is no time frame rule.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 13
New to dating websites. Need advice
Posted: 3/10/2013 9:14:37 AM

Of course you had the forum police come out of the woodshed, to let me know there is a "search" function. Now I know all fourums have these sad people


Well son, you asked a question that you already had answer too. Kinda like asking for directions when holding a road map. It's okay though, we understand. Nowadays a lot of you young ones won't do anything unless the path is basically laid out for you and there is a promise of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.Again, understandable.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 14
New to dating websites. Need advice
Posted: 3/10/2013 10:06:39 AM
Nick! You are at the 2nd largest college in the country. Walk outside. Damn son.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 15
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New to dating websites. Need advice
Posted: 3/10/2013 10:30:52 PM
Hi OP,
I don't feel the need to exchange numbers with complete strangers. For me the goal is to meet ASAP and get to know the person better. That’s more important than the number. I agree with a previous poster who said he does it organically with the flow of conversation. I would rather meet first before giving out my number or knowing his. It’s just how I feel most comfortable and if he asks for my number that’s what I’ll tell him. The guys I’m attracted to usually understand and have no problem with that at all. If that’s a problem in any way, we’re not compatible. Not a big deal. I’m cool with that.
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