Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why do girls stop replying?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 MacRaeM.D.
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 1
Why do girls stop replying?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I'm sure that this is a cliche topic on here but I need some input. In the past 5 months I've received more numbers and attention from ladies than ever before. I've been getting all sorts of numbers from girls that many would say are quite interested. However, that being said nothing ever seems to become of it. I can converse well with girls (I like to think at least) but many of them end up either turning down/bailing on dates or just not replying anymore. This is mainly from non-online dating but it applies to this too. The other day I got a message from a really pretty girl so we exchanged messages for a couple hours then exchanged numbers. The following couple days we talked lots and made all sorts of tentative plans. Now she stopped replying to my texts abruptly. Given that this kind of thing happens all the time is like to know what people think. A lot of my friends have the same problem.
 quarked
Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:32:11 PM

Why do girls stop replying?


Because they're no longer interested.
 MacRaeM.D.
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 3
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:39:08 PM
I deduced that much but I'm curious as to how their interest can appear and disappear so quickly. It's not like anything outrageous occurs in conversations that could be a deterrent. Is there anything I can do to mitigate this problem? I'm not one to play games with people. I've always thought that if someone is genuinely interested there will be no need for games but my frustration has reached the point that I may have to start using what I know of psychology etc to play these 'games' that other people seem so interested in playing (the likes of which I'm opposed to)
 JadeGirl31
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 4
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:39:23 PM
I don't want to sound like an ***hole here, but this is from my own thoughts and experiences. I've talked to a lot of guys on here that seemed to be working out 'on paper' and at some point one of three things happened. I lost interest, Someone more appealing stepped in, or the guy said something that I didn't like. More often than not, it's the third one. I'm not sure if the same goes for all women but that's my opinion.
 MacRaeM.D.
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 5
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:49:23 PM
What kinds of things displease women in conversation? I know it sounds rudimentary but at this point going back to the basics doesn't seem like an awful idea. I can't see where I've gone wrong in conversation recently. I'll admit in years last I immature and foolish so I don't blame the girls for turning me down. I don't feel that way anymore. It is particularly difficult to say something 'offcolour' when I typically let the girls lead the conversation (especially when I first meet them). Any suggestions?
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 6
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:51:52 PM
Stop texting. It's hardly a way to get to know someone & what you text can be misunderstood or taken out of context. Call, have a short talk & end the conversation by asking her out. Confirm your date the day before with a phone call & don't spend hours texting with her beforehand.
 Orionthehunter9
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 7
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:56:30 PM
A lot of times people only respond to you to have their ego stroked during a period of inactivity. It makes sense. Many of us are on here in the first place because we don't have options for the attention we seek in our daily lives. But because the process is largely impersonal and anonymous, people will discontinue communication the minute something better comes along. And that is their right. And yours too. You just hope it's done respectfully. But don't beat yourself up about it.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 8
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:59:06 PM
The following couple days we talked lots and made all sorts of tentative plans. Now she stopped replying to my texts abruptly.

You overexposed and undercommitted, at once. No firm plans, but kept texting texting texting. She got sick of it. It doesn't look like you're serious about meeting. Or, it looks like you want her to take charge, which is unattractive. Neither is going to get you anywhere.

Text less, plan firmly the first time, keep your plans, and if you do nothing else by voice, make and confirm those plans by voice.
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 9
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 9:02:20 PM
Women you meet in person tend to be flakier... they often can't say no to your face, so they reject you later, subtly, from a distance, and take the sneaky way out. Can't blame them though, he who rejects first feels better about the whole deal. Also, they don't want to do it openly, especially to your face, they don't know you from Adam and don't know if you have an attitude and would try to rip their head off if they said something you did not like. They don't want to poke the bear. This is just intuitive for them and happens on a subconscious level, it's learned during the formative years of childhood. In other words, they know not what they do.

Dating is a ginormous cat-and-mouse game... if you can learn the rules of the game, and accept it, it can be fun listening to them try to squirm out of a date! Just keep getting numbers, and remember, every "no" is one step closer to a yes... and in the end, you only need to find one good one.
 sweetrain90
Joined: 10/24/2012
Msg: 10
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 9:02:35 PM
Wow nubeginnings64 you are completely right! I have to say that when I have a real phone call with a guy and it goes well, it gets me very excited to meet him. If you can have a good real conversation, it says a lot more than just texting, also if you say something she doesn't like you can most likely hear it in her voice.

When I stop losing interest in a guy its either because he's super into something that doesn't interest me for example hunting or playing video games or smoking weed. Or it can be because I met someone else that appeals to me more, or I just wasen't sure in the first place if I was interested and thought I'd give it a try and then realized that no I'm really not interested.
 brinaalina
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 9:02:39 PM
You need to tattoo this on your forehead:
If she doesn't reply, she is NOT interested!!!

I really don't get why people are always like, 'oh, but she....' and 'but we had a great connection!'
Well, it was maybe great for you, but maybe not so much for her.
DON'T TEXT HER.
Women respond to the sound of the voice more.
You have one opportunity to CALL her and ask her on a date.
If she doesn't respond again, move ON. No over-analyzing. That's just how it goes :)
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 12
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 9:26:59 PM
Welcome to online dating! This is very common as far as people coming and going and usually has nothing to do with you at all. Because no one really gets to know another when they come and go. It's one thing to not reply because you are not interested for one reason or another, but so many people write once and disappear. Probably a million reasons for this, but make light of it as it is what it is.
 duncanpeso
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:07:48 PM
People lose interest quite fast. You have to also question who is really available, and who is just single. It is a difference. They will write you back, then by the time,they read it they have, 10 more messages and they will just look at those. A kid in a candy store mentality.

What does makes me wonder is why so many women, I say women because I know they get lots of messages, have been online since July etc. Every time I log on they are online., Not saying they don't go on any dates but , it makes me wonder what the problem is. Are guys on here that bad, or is it them.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 14
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:17:36 PM
People lose interest due to many different reasons. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you. They might be married or in a relationship. They decided that they weren't ready or available for a possible relationship. They were dishonest about something in their profile. They went out on a date with someone that they think is a little bit more attractive. They were never that seriously interested to begin with. Some people will use internet dating as a way to pass time when they are bored.
 Ant0ni00
Joined: 9/2/2012
Msg: 15
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:33:36 PM
*Removed. Redundant issue.*
 ClassyT81
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 16
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:33:59 PM
I think some of it has to do with fear of being "forced" into a position where they feel they are obligated to maintain communication with you and develop the interaction without having the "freedom" to do so with other prospective interests. Breaking things off suddenly is a way for them to re-assert their sense of "control" over the process of choosing who to become involved with.
 brinaalina
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:36:34 PM

I think some of it has to do with fear of being "forced" into a position where they feel they are obligated to maintain communication with you and develop the interaction without having the "freedom" to do so with other prospective interests. Breaking things off suddenly is a way for them to re-assert their sense of "control" over the process of choosing who to become involved with.


......or we just don't like you.
Women aren't actually that hard to figure out. Especially online.
We stop responding, we don't want to talk to you anymore. That's it.
 Orionthehunter9
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 18
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:53:36 PM
We must stand united PoF men and not let straight shooting women like Brina oversimplify. We must not let her turn the mirror on ourselves and force us to reflect. We must not reflect. There has just GOT to be something deeper going on. A female deficiency maybe...........

But straight shooting women must not get in the way of real discovery. And we must never forget what our mothers all said...........that any women would be LUCKY to have us!!
 NickUCF
Joined: 2/28/2013
Msg: 19
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 11:10:48 PM
Brinaalana is a 21 year ok professional online dater. Listen to her. Is POF offering u an extension or a bonus or what?!?!? Lol
 brinaalina
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 11:16:56 PM
Coma White, if the two posts before you were any indication, you may be right lol.


But really, I guess it's just hard for some people to identify sarcasm through text :)
 beneboo
Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 21
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 11:18:45 PM
or the guy said something that I didn't like. More often than not, it's the third one. I'm not sure if the same goes for all women but that's my opinion.


This is true for me as well. Just because people are somewhat interested in the beginning doesn't mean their interest is going to be maintained.

OP, you may want to wean off the incessant texting. That's for people who are actually dating or already in the relationship. Use the phone to make plans and follow-up only.
 Orionthehunter9
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 22
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 11:19:22 PM
Sober as a nun!!!

So grab me a beer too please!

I was just mocking male stupidity. I thought it was obvious.
 NickUCF
Joined: 2/28/2013
Msg: 23
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/5/2013 11:19:49 PM
What it sounds like to me is the OP is targeting young good looking females. On a site like this, most of those girls are receiving a lot of messages. Unfortunately this turns into another game even tho it's online. U grab her attention which it looks like u do most of the time, and then I think u come off as too needy and lose them. Play the game...
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 24
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/6/2013 4:16:34 AM
^^^^

Or stop playing games altogether. That's the grown up thing to do.

OP, they stop replying because you're doing something to turn them off. I dunno what it is, but perhaps you should take a look at that instead of assuming that it's the women.

I've met probably 3 men from here altogether in a year. For one, I get inundated with messages so there are a lot of guys I was interested in that I just couldn't get back to (stupid chat program freezing up my browser) and messaging them now would probably lead them to believe that they were "backups" so I don't.

Of the men I actually messaged with the intent of getting to know them, they ALL mentioned NSA sex within the first 2 messages.

One guy was a doctor who was the adorable guy next door type with a great smile. In his profile he wrote that he couldn't commit to a serious relationship because of his work hours and just wanted a women he liked to casually date when he was available and that he wasn't into sleeping around. That was perfect for me. Until the 4th message, when he asked if I wanted to come to his house and wrap my legs around his waist. Uh.... no. It took a month of "Where did I go wrong?!?!" messages and backtracking for him to realize that I wasn't playing hard to get. "But I'm a doctor!". That doesn't meant that you're not a horndog on the make or deceitful... and it doesn't give you a free pass.

You did something to make them not like you anymore. Figure it out, stop doing it and you're golden. Unless you're doing a lot of things that make women not like you.
 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 25
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 3/6/2013 4:35:49 AM
I think it's probably something u said via conversation that perhaps derailed everything.

When ur getting to know someone in the beginning, u can't joke with them all the time cuz u don't know what kind of a person they really are. They probably don't have a broad mind when it comes to sense of humor and perhaps took something so little in a bigger context. And instead of saying, "i didn't like that joke", they thought it was best to cut off ties.

It's mostly conversations that we have with ppl that can backfire on us. I mean, they might not like ur laugh, might not like the whole texting thing all the time, perhaps don't want that much attention. Don't want to be bothered with constant being in touch with them. Many reasons.


Don't feel bad, it happens to all of us..u just play it by ear. And how I do things is simply by shrugging my shoulders and be like 'meh, ur loss".
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why do girls stop replying?