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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 3
HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Why are you getting hate mail?

Your fourth picture is beautiful. Use it as your main photo. Delete the blurry photos. I think your current main picture is repulsive with a nose stud that looks like two silver boogers hanging out of your nose. Delete it.

Your profile is far too negative, from the beginning ("fcuk it, here goes nothing, kid") to the long negative lists of the types of men you don't like, and what you can't stand.

START OVER. Your profile is a marketing tool that sells YOU, targeting the specific men you want to meet. Your profile should include:

1. Who are you? What makes you interesting and unique? What can you bring to a relationship?
2. Describe activities you enjoy, especially things you can do together as a couple.
3. What are you looking for in a relationship?

You ALL need new photos taken outdoors with a real camera for better lighting, showing you SMILING and doing activities you enjoy. You need a: 1) Head-and-shoulders photo, showing you smiling and looking at the camera. A genuine smile is inviting and appealing. 2) Full body pic, again smiling and taken outdoors, fully clothed of course.

Additional photos should show you smiling, doing activities you enjoy.

Absolutely NO sunglasses, caps, alcohol guzzling, tongue sticking out, stupid poses, wannabe gang signs, fuzzy pictures, fish, guns, dead animals, bathroom/cell phone pictures or group shots. You must be in every picture.

You can read my profile for ideas. Good luck!
 dumpaling
Joined: 1/31/2013
Msg: 6
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HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/7/2013 10:47:06 PM
Well I read your profile and I would not message you. Then again that would be because I am under one of the categories you listed under who you would not want to message you...overall after reading your profile I just felt like it seemed really negative, and really picky.

Sure you did list things you do not like but you also listed things you do like and some things you are looking for. I understand that...but after reading your profile the only thing that stands out in my mind is that there is a long list of things you don't want...and I just think of it as a negative toned profile.

I don't think I have a perfect profile either, and I don't think I would be the kind of guy you are looking for, so you may not want to take my advice, but that is how I felt.

A good example of part of the problem...as I'm typing this review, I'm a little worried about what to say because I feel like you will just get upset and reply with something nasty. Now you may not do that at all, but the only impression I have of you so far was your profile, and that is what I feel like might happen.
 Indira46
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 7
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HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/7/2013 10:49:31 PM
Delete the ENTIRE thing STAT.

That is one of the worst profiles I have ever seen.

Use photo 4 as your main. You don't look "a few extra pounds" in your pictures.

Delete.

Read the profile writing tips up top.

Start over.

Come back here for help.

Delete, delete, delete
 Indira46
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 12
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HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/7/2013 11:41:40 PM
Ugh... I give up. Just leave it the way it is.

Delete any undesirable messages.
Block any users that send you hate mail.
Respond to the ones you like.

Good luck.
 Indira46
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 14
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HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 12:00:38 AM
You are attracting men with issues because you are coming across as having major issues yourself.

By stating all of that don't be that don't be this, you are essentially saying you've done that before. You've put up with issues and rudeness before.

So now your profile is attracting that.
 Indira46
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 16
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HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 12:04:56 AM
I'm trying to help you...
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 17
HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 2:13:16 AM
You don't look a few extra pounds. Change to average.
Your photos look like those of a 17 year old, not 27. Cellphone mirror shots are not cool. If you still have the nose ring and it's a permanent feature then keep the main since it represents you properly. The rest of the pictures are all very similar, same pose different clothes and room.

And then we come to the actual profile, oh dear.
Delete first 2 sentences (you didn't even use a capital letter for your own name???).
The next couple of sentences are fine, but then it all just goes out the window. Delete from "I know there is a list.." to the end of your entire thing, it's all BAD and will put off every single guy who reads it, even if they meet your extensive list of criteria.
Seriously the ONLY guys who will respond to this profile are the ones who judge you on your pictures alone, because anyone who read s it will be put off. You're trying to achieve the opposite, but you're shooting yourself in the foot.
 Green_MK2
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 19
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HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 9:29:20 AM
When the pics are that nice, you have a little more room to mess up your profile, that's a fact.
But don't take that for granted.

Few extra pounds really? Seem like are slightly complexed over weight, this is average, and very nice one too.

You sure give us a LOT of reasons not to message you, but very few to do.
Even though I fit all the mentioned criterias ( Except distance in this case.) I would not message you, sounds picky, precious and self-centered. Those are the qualities you want to put forward ? If the reason you do that is to not receive messages from the men that do not fit your standards, I'm pretty sure it's a fail, both ways.

Standard are okay. You can maybe wrap this up into a brief, nicely written, paragraph that give us a good idea that you won't settle, without putting us off so much. Use positives instead of negatives.

You can also do that with the second list, which is the interesting part, but poorly spun. And put that part before the criterias part so we want to message you, before you tell us not to.

Good luck
 Green_MK2
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 21
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HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 9:49:32 AM
Meh, if it IS a phishing scam.... it's an even bigger fail.
I liked the nigerian princess better, at least she was nice to me.
 013552
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 26
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HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 12:35:12 PM
just out of curiosity, looked at your profile after reading the above message, and got to say your profile nothing like the ops profile, you got lot of humor in yours haha
 Luthion
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 28
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HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 1:01:26 PM
Ignore the criticism about the nose ring. That is solely people projecting their own personal tastes and bias.

I'd I may ask, what exactly is the hate mail about? It may help understand where the issue lies.
 Trouble-is
Joined: 2/22/2013
Msg: 29
HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 1:37:24 PM
Hey Brittany,
You're frustrated. And a lot of people on here are telling you to change your profile, which you don't want to do. I say "kudos" to you.
Why should you change your profile to represent something you are NOT, just to attract more men, who will not be a good match, and end up on another disappointing date? There are far too many people who have read the "Tips" being offered by the management here, who are creating profiles that are nothing like them. I've met them, they've wasted my time, and it's annoying.
You like your nose ring, and its important that the guy you meet likes it too. Why remove the photo and then show up on the first date with it in? No sense. The only adjustment that you need to make is to realize that there really IS someone out there for you, and, just like the rest of us, that guy is a one-in-a-million. The unfortunate thing is that there are a lot of guys who will take offense at your "laundry list" of demands for a mate - screw 'em! Ignore them. Delete them. The best thing you can do (if you are looking for a long-term relationship, not serial dating) is truly be yourself, but then realize that that personality is only going to be attractive to a small number of men.
Having said all that, remember - (as you have found out) - it's NOT just about attracting men! Its about attracting men that you are also attracted to! Ah, now it became a lot more complex. So ask yourself - what kind of guy am I going to attract with my profile? Is that what you want? Is there a way to re-write this, being honest and showing who I really am, but in a way that is more likely to attract the kind of guy that I'm really looking for? Have you thought about and clarified in your mind the kind of guy you are looking for? I have. (actually, I'm not looking for guys...) :o) Consider this - sit down with one of your guy friends and go through women's profiles on POF - listen to his comments. I did this with a woman friend of mine, and it was one of the most eye-opening experiences I have ever had with respect to dating. :o)
My experience with internet dating is that it is just one disappointment after another - but that's usually because the people that show up for the date (after wasting three weeks of my time writing and calling) are not what I expected from their profile. I applaud you for truly being who you are - however unpopular that may be - and having the tenacity to hold out until the right guy comes across your profile. Good luck!
Jonathan
 Trouble-is
Joined: 2/22/2013
Msg: 30
HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 2:20:58 PM
Oh, Jeez... perfect.
44 years old, slim, sexy, cute as a button, and she thinks like me.
All in a complete package just 3600 miles away. To say NOTHING of the fact that you drive on the wrong side of the street. :o)
What are you doing over THERE...?! *smile*
Jonathan
 psytle
Joined: 3/7/2011
Msg: 31
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HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 3:15:02 PM
OP, you have a decent set of pictures, although I think your pictures could be improved with pictures in a more social setting than where you live.

However, your check list comes across as angry and demanding...the only types that are attracted to that are players and pushovers. Which just happen to be the types you don't want. Dating profile check lists tend to do the complete opposite of what they are designed to do: scare off the people who do meet the conditions, which only leaves the undesirables contacting you.

Moreover, the few times the author does share stuff about herself, she uses extremely vague and cliche adjectives that could describe anybody. For example, "artsy, hyper, and loyal". What specific behavior or specific past life experience of yours demonstrates "artsy"? "Hyper"? "Loyal"? How about sharing those specific behaviors instead of forcing the audience to guess what the author meant?

It's good that you know what types of guys you like. Are you contacting guys that have profiles that you find attractive....or are you just passively waiting for them to contact you first?
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 33
HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 4:13:53 PM
If you don't have tough skin you shouldn't be on online dating in the first place!
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 36
HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 6:54:17 PM
Positive, upbeat, and very friendly profiles are what floats my boat on POF.
Long checklists requiring a pencil and paper to determine eligibility...not so much.
Good luck with your romantic search.
 NoPrinceHere
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 38
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HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 9:15:39 PM
You are a stunning woman, that comes across very negative. So many requirements. You been in a lot of bad relationships? Came across as baggage to me. Some woman with a bunch of bad relationships hoping this one will be different. Dump the casual dating thing. I would never send an email, and you are way cute. Let one of these gals help with the rewrite, they hurt my feeling a couple months ago, but turned things around. Keep all your warning signs to your self and when they arrive in your life, let them leave through the same door. The guy you are looking for will want more than casual dating.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 39
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HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/8/2013 11:04:39 PM
You're getting hate mail from guys that have been tossed in the abyss. They're clawing their way out, looking for anything to grab onto. That septum ring for example.

Can I apologize for this long post. Must respect the geis; a gift from the magii.

While I agree with Indira and a few other posters about negative in profiles, this is not one of those whiney bleeah rants that many profiles become. Sure there is some asinine junk with the long list repeating the restrictions, but the photos are great and there's a spark of feisty. If someone is getting 50 notes a day they're sampling many of the guys in their neigh-boar-hood. Under that truckload of manhood leafmold must be a few gropers that are worthy of crawling.

This is one of the classic target profiles. Guys end up driving these women off the site. They build a new profile to try again, then get frustrated and start trolling for trouble, looking for ways to provoke her and get her offed. Cool-- plan --- I wish all the hater/shamers would entertain themselves some other way.. and I've a suggestion. Before you start hassling or nastifying the babes, borrow an irrigation bag, or maybe just put together something with a bucket and a hose. Mix bonnet pepper hot sauce, drano and crush five aspirin- mix in warm water-put in the attic with a siphon down into the basement. Find a dark corner and ..

As to why the profile works. It sustains a presence. We can easily image what the person is. The photos transport her into a real person that anyone can see as a whole. They do that through 2 full frame and a few closeups in multiple situation and moods. The clothing fits. There's a variety and we can see form. She's not hiding in her photos. There's a brightness to them. So many have some minor variation on the theme of dog, closeup, poor contrast, hiding behind clothes, the car- friends littering the situation. Why do that?

As this is profile review,... maybe some suggestions: You're getting lots of notes. That's not hurting. Probably this is to organize dates and not simply to compete for the inbox full awards. That by the way can be 200 to 300 per day.-- and isn't held by the hottest chicks-- they're regular kinda cranky people in person.

The profile is slightly negative but its a little informative in that. The bad type of negative is just globally a drag. The objective of the negative is to encourage people to self-cull. Its meant as a method to filter- and in that it almost always fails miserably. The people who are driven away by the negative are the better ones, or some of them. If an inbox is a completely unmanageable mess maybe that works-- but I think it works better to create more a sense of person by constructing anecdotes, observations or even flat out silly junk that helps build contact points. Everyone has things they resonate with or might find a connection with. If you shine a few of these facets- maybe a dozen or so in some detail,.. like how you like jumping horses in the close hopping style,. but holding elbows near the mane- people have an opportunity to see whether they work with that. If there are a few points that work in their heads they're drawn to maintain a conversation, past all the strange bull heist that pofferdrama can become.

This won't reduce the load of butt wipe that shows up in an inbox, but there's not much that can be done about that. The hotties get that. Making a nasty, takedown profile that seems like part of a war on the streets is not a terrible thing. But it might not build the sense of person that one wants talking to an actual prospective date. Don't talk to the people you wouldn't accept- they're not the people you're advertising to. While it may be satisfying there's no reason to explain to them why they can't ride in the Mustang. Post that rant in the forums, not your profile.

So-- trail of breadcrumbs,.. special tastes, so only those that like that bread follow. Doesn't matter if you leave a few rocks in the road. Your own private ducklings will follow.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 40
HI!! review me.. im a getting hate mail :(
Posted: 3/9/2013 1:06:13 AM

why the **** should you care what other people think

Because she asked what other people think. That is what profile review means. If she doesn't give a **** then why bother to ask?
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