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 mingogo
Joined: 1/15/2013
Msg: 1
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Discolsing Cold Sores?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I searched this in topics, found lots of topics on cold sores but none on this particular question.
I've had cold sores since I was a small child, I think I contracted them from a friend at school. I usually get an outbreak once a year, generally around the same time of year as well. I use topical cream as well as take valtrex and it is usually all under control and fully healed within a week, two weeks if I didn't catch it in time.

My question is, is this something I need to disclose early on in dating, such as you would a STD or something like that? I wouldn't want to be deceiving, however I do not feel it is that big of a deal, do some people see this as a dealbreaker?
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 2
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/10/2013 11:20:03 PM

I do not feel it is that big of a deal, do some people see this as a dealbreaker?


Cold sores are usually due to Herpes type 1
Most everyone has it; though not all pple get outbreaks.

IMO, you should bring it up if you are asked about having any health problems
but you should say that it is contained and resolves, and is not considered being a disease.

You have to take your chances; there will be some who are put off by it
but its way better to be up front about it then to hide it and raise trust issues.
 GarnerGirl71
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 3
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Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/10/2013 11:58:37 PM
Isn't it contagious when the sores are flared. If so, you should be very careful when they are, avoiding oral sex.
 Lookingatwhatzhere
Joined: 11/9/2012
Msg: 4
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 12:08:04 AM
Ask yourself....if he had the cold sores would it be a "big deal" to you? Any sores on any part of someones body would be an immediate red flag for me.
 mingogo
Joined: 1/15/2013
Msg: 5
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Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 3:14:40 AM
N0, it would not be a big deal to me, just an obstacle, and I would deal with it when the time came.
Nobody's body is perfect.
 mingogo
Joined: 1/15/2013
Msg: 6
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Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 3:15:52 AM

Isn't it contagious when the sores are flared. If so, you should be very careful when they are, avoiding oral sex.


I've had it for the majority of my years on this earth, so I do know this information. This has no relevence to my question whatsoever.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 7
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Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 4:19:09 AM
I personally don't think it's a big deal. Everyone has something. A few other threads were started by people with eczema/psoriasis etc. Some may be worried it's a full blown case of Herpes. Disclose it after you get into a relationship.
 andy1961
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 8
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Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 5:27:04 AM

N0, it would not be a big deal to me, just an obstacle, and I would deal with it when the time came.
Nobody's body is perfect.


I'm sorry, I don't mean to be offensive - and you're right, nobody's body is perfect - but cold sores on a woman's mouth would be an instant turn-off for me!
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 9
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 6:21:48 AM
Cold sores are caused by the chicken pox virus so your chances of getting them from another person are pretty slim. That virus is already in your body. Stress and various other things can cause outbreaks. I've suffered with them most of my life also. And while technically, it is a herpes virus, I don't believe it's in the category of an STD. Besides, are you really going to get into a heavy lip-lock session with someone while you have an open sore on your mouth? Probably not.
 _Passion4life
Joined: 2/23/2013
Msg: 10
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 7:06:49 AM
LOL!!!! I love how some people like to brush shit under the rug... ITS A FREAKIN STD!!!! Plain and simple!!!! You can clean it up and put a fancy name on it, but at the end of the day, YOU HAVE HERPES!!!
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 11
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 7:16:12 AM
^^^So much for being informed.

"According Dr. Craig Austin, a dermatologist in New York City, cold sores usually aren't a sexually transmitted disease (STD). They are caused by the herpes simplex virus. There are two kinds of herpes virus: HSV-1, which is usually not an STD and occurs on the lip, and HSV-2, which usually causes herpes genitalis, which is essentially an STD in the genital area. "

So, while maybe the herpes simplex virus could be transmitted via oral sex, who the hell is going to let someone go downtown with an open sore on their mouth? Not me.
 GarnerGirl71
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 12
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Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 7:54:14 AM
^^ That's well and good if the sore is visible, but what if it is inside the cheek or in the healing stages? If a partner isn't honest (or knowledgable) then it can be transmitted. And BTW OP... that is the point that makes my original post valid. Disclosure is needed because it is your partners choice to take the risk, not yours. If you have a flare-up, then disclosure is necessary. And accordig to WebMD, oral-to-genital herpes is possible, but not common.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 13
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 8:03:13 AM
Something like 80% of the population (some estimates are even higher) have been exposed to the virus that causes cold sores also commonly referred to as fever blisters.

So all you folks for whom this is a deal breaker... good luck with that.
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 14
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 8:03:44 AM
GarnerGirl ... I think you're referring to a canker sore inside the mouth -- a shallow, white, very painful but not herpes-virus sore.

From Web MD:

“Are canker sores herpes?” to which the answer is no, canker sores are not herpes."
 GarnerGirl71
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 15
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Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 8:25:29 AM
From WebMD:
"These blisters break down rapidly and, when seen, appear as tiny, shallow, gray ulcers on a red base... The sores may occur on the lips, the gums, the front of the tongue, the inside of the cheeks, the throat, and the roof of the mouth."

I'm saying that my health is my call. Period. I sincerely hope that someone I am seeing is honest enough to disclose, and let me assume the risk for myself. OP asked if it should be disclosed. My OPINION is yes. You're welcome to yours, but I will not be argued out of mine.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 16
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Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 9:24:24 AM
Do a little research people. It's free, and easy. Estimates vary, but the smallest percentage I could find was 57% of the adult population of the United States. The highest was like 85%. Either way, over half of the people that you meet have had or will have cold sores.
 ozarkguy
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 17
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Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 10:41:06 AM
I'm always amazed that although the estimated % of U.S. population with cold sores is high, it seems that the % of forum posters with cold sores is low. As long as I can remember, I seem to get a cold sore about once per year. After finding that nothing over the counter seemed to be of any help, I did some research. It seems that the virus feeds on the amino acid l-arginine, commonly found in foods such as chocolate, nuts and others. The amino acid l-lysine, also found in foods, invades the cells and prohibits l-arginine from getting into the cells, thus starving the virus. So you should increase your intake of those foods. I was skeptical at first but decided to try this. I don't do a lot with my diet except avoid chocolate when I have an outbreak. But what I do is overdose on l-lysine at the first tingle I feel. I generally take about 4-5 grams of lysine tablets spread throughout the day for the first three or four days and then drop down to 1-2 grams per day until all signs are gone. I've done this for prob 4 outbreaks over the last 4-5 years and found that the outbreak clears in about half the time. Lysine is dirt cheap and you can buy it in any drug store (the legal type) in the vitamin/supplement section . You can google this and do your own research like I did. I could never find recommended dosage, so just came up with that on my own. I just know this works for me and thought I'd pass it on. Don't know what the long term effects are of ingesting that much lysine, so I just keep a bottle on the shelf for when I have an outbreak.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 19
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 11:42:48 AM

I kind of hope it is

I don't think so... my favorite is the lady up there who felt the need to shout "ITS A FREAKIN STD!!" .... even though 20% of children will contract it before they are age five. I guess a lot more babies are out there having sex than we ever knew.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 20
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 12:05:36 PM
well I cant say that I have ever had a cold sore in my life ..however way back when ..when I was a teenager and before we knew anything about herpes .. when a cold sore was just a cold sore ..when we thought that cold sores were caused by having a cold ..when we thought fever blisters were from having a fever ..when I first noticed girls and learned that they were fun to kiss as well as play such games with as ...spin the bottle ..and an occasional game of doctor ...well thinking back it was not uncommon for one of said girls to have a cold sore ..and that being said it was not uncommon for me to kiss them ..actually it was my motive ..I was proud of the fact that I had kissed every girl in my 9th grade class except 1 ..I kissed her too I just wasnt proud of it ,at the time ..any way back to topic ..I remember several girls that I dated and kissed had active cold sores at the time I kissed them..One girl I dated for a long time had them on a regular basis .. so Im pretty much sure I have been exposed ..but now Im 56 years old and have never had a cold sore so were I to be presented with the opportunity to kiss a new woman or date her a cold sore wouldnt stop anything ..just saying
 Engine_Builder
Joined: 1/24/2013
Msg: 21
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 12:36:19 PM
Ahhh, the irony. It's not derived from an STD, yet we're in the 'SEX AND SEXUALITY ISSUES' forum.

But to answer the question, it's not that big of a deal. I have seen many that get them.
DO tell before the first kiss.....
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 22
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 12:41:27 PM
stubidoo ... Look at the screaming lady's picture ... I think she could be under the influence lol
 ivegotitgoingon
Joined: 1/20/2013
Msg: 23
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 12:58:08 PM
I think you should find a way to disclose it. But like anything else, don't just disclose right away unless you are sure this is someone you can see yourself dating.

I know a lot of men where this would be a deal breaker. It's a deal breaker for me also. I don't want cold sore and I won't take any chances either. There are many who feel the same way.

Good Luck with that.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 24
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 1:25:14 PM

i have never had one and would like to know if someone does

Did you know that not everyone walking around with this virus has cold sores or displays any symptoms at all? You could have it and be infecting tons of people and not know it. So it isn't enough to simply ask .. you need to see the entire complete medical report. Good luck with that.
 maddie999
Joined: 5/4/2011
Msg: 25
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 1:52:03 PM
I love how people with no f'ing clue what they are talking about, are always the expert.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 26
Discolsing Cold Sores?
Posted: 3/11/2013 2:15:31 PM
Think I have posted this before, I have the virus, both my kids have the virus, my ex-husband does not. We were never careful save for oral when I had a cold sore, so apparently it looks to me more like it is easy to catch the virus when you are a child and not so much when you are older.

Now that we know so much more about the virus people are much more careful, my son won't kiss his fiance if he feels one coming on, has one etc. and has not passed the virus on.

Personally can't remember the last time I had one, use to get them everytime I got sick, I would guess it has been at least 10 years, and my daughter has been 5 or more years.

Tell or not, if you do and the guy dumps you for it, he is an idiot because chances are whoever he ends up with has the virus and just didn't tell him
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