Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Being a virgin      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Lou19909
Joined: 8/7/2012
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Being a virgin Page 1 of 1    
Hello there, I am still a virgin at the age of 21. The reason this is I don't go out much and I am not really good at holding a convo with a girl as I get nervous, and or I feel that they may not like me as I have half an arm. I am hoping to change this and hoping I can loose it with the right girl and not do one night stand, as I don't want to be that sort of person.

Can anyone help me on this please?
 stonecastle
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/21/2013 1:14:14 PM
I was still a virgin at 25 and only lost my virginity by going out and paying for a prostitute to have sex with. I wasn't shy with girls as I used to approach loads, but none of them seemed the slightest bit interested in me. I still haven't managed to get a girlfriend yet despite now being 46 and having approached literally thousands of women. I don't know what the hell I am doing wrong, I just can't seem to get women to become interested in me.
 HowRJ
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 3
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/21/2013 3:01:33 PM

I feel that they may not like me as I have half an arm.



find a girl with half a leg.......
 ksayer1
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/21/2013 4:14:11 PM
Are you kidding me!!!!!

You play rugby!! And you can't get a chick??? You have not even tried have you?

Yes some girls your age might be freaked out by the half arm thing.
But certainly not all of them.

I think you are scared and using the arm thing as an excuse.

Start talking to girls, right now!! Get to the pub and try it!! Just small talk, ask questions about her job school ect.

They won't all like you but then again you won't like every woman you meet either.
Just think of it as fun and no big deal.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/21/2013 6:13:37 PM

hoping I can loose it with the right girl and not do one night stand, as I don't want to be that sort of person.


A very worthy and valuable attitude, I think. I hope you stick with it. My vote is also for finding more confidence. Maybe do a thread search on topics such as "how to approach a girl" or "confidence" and see what people have said?

Some guys recommend those pick up books. I wouldn't recommend any manipulation, but there might be pointers on confidence or understanding what women notice or want.

It's so difficult, I would imagine, to have a physical challenge like that at your age. All I can tell you is that it's not going to matter as much when you get older.
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 6
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/21/2013 6:41:32 PM
OP. There are many reason why one can be a virgin. From being shy and socially awkward, life circumstances, to one's attitude towards sex. Many, many reasons. Don't beat yourself up for it and lose your self-esteem. People will always tell you it is easy to lose your virginity, which I believe in part is untrue. I'd say still keep your healthy attitude of finding the right person and the right time, rather than a one-night stand.

Best of luck.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/21/2013 8:39:41 PM
OP, I'm still a virgin @ 46. But if you're anything like the supposed Mack-Daddys on here, you'll have 25 girlfriends, and an inbox overflowing in a week.
 stillthesame9
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 8
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/21/2013 9:16:38 PM
From what I hear as a guy especially once you have sex you start to want it even more. I can say that's the case with foreplay. After I experienced the foreplay, that's when the horniness really kicked in. Dare I say all of us male virgins are better off not knowing what we're missing out on?
 afroboyy
Joined: 6/6/2012
Msg: 9
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/21/2013 9:23:53 PM
[q]find a girl with half a leg.......[/q]


Haahaha ... now that was funny. Well it happens , few are those who lost their virginity in their teens ...24 is like the norm these days



Well Pof said my messgae is too short??? just WTH

----------------------------------------------------------------
Dont follow your PAssion , follow your effort
 kawasaki677
Joined: 2/27/2013
Msg: 10
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/22/2013 12:27:35 AM
Dude just be comfortable with who you are. I was recently paralyzed waist down in a motocross wreck and still have tons of guys trying to hook up with me. I'm a confident chick though and that's what it takes. You just need to make some effort. I finally talked my cousin recently into growing a pair and asking this chick out he liked. Sure enough, she said yes! CONFIDENCE IS KEY!!! We women like that stuff.
 oneofthefew13
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/22/2013 2:40:59 AM
Though it is not the norm with the way people are today, being a virgin at 21 isn't a bad thing, nor does it make you some sort of "freak". The having half an arm thing, seems like a half excuse, any decent person will not care about that. Being shy and nervous is something to work on because as a few have mentioned women like confidence. And it's also a not a bad thing in my opinion that when you do lose your virginity you want to do it with the "right" girl (which is to be assumed as a girl you are in a relationship with) rather than a casual one night fling.

Now being in your 40's and still being a virgin like the couple guys who posted, now I guess that would be something to be concerned with. I am going as far to assume the ones who are have not been in any sort of real or meaningful relationships? I guess you could say those are examples of where a lack of confidence can get you if you do not find a way to obtain some. No offense to you guys, just using examples.
 dwayne88
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/22/2013 4:36:49 AM
It's ok to be a 21 year old virgin. Tho it's without a doubt later than the average. I am 29 and still one myself.

I don't think you sould just wait around for the right one tho. Sorry, but I don't buy into that stuff.

If a girl wants to,and your not disgusted by her, then by all means, get rid of your virginity.

There is no point in waiting.

The longer you wait, the less chances you will probably have.
 15111958
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 13
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/22/2013 7:10:59 AM
Why do people consistently say "women like confidence"? are all women the same? are they mass produced on an assembly line somewhere each one identical to the last?

There are literally millions of guys who are not oozing confidence that are married, have a girlfriend or a healthy sex life.

I think if you find the right woman and she likes you she will do so whether you have confidence or not. You just have to find the right kind of women and pursue her. For those of us who are socially awkward or suffer from shyness etc this can be very difficult. I think being around women and just talking to them even if you are not interested in dating them can help to be more relaxed.

It really is just a matter of being around women.

@stonecastle - How you can approach literally thousands of women and not score one is beyond me. Are you sure it's thousands? I don't know what the hell you are doing wrong but I'm glad I don't have it LOL
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 14
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/22/2013 8:54:24 AM
keep trying ..even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 15
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/22/2013 8:29:26 PM
Moon, your profile said longest relationship was 1 year, but later in your profile it states you have never had a girlfriend. You may want to fix that as its a bit conflicting.

Op, you are still young, give it sometime and each day work on yourself and it will fall into place. There has been some good suggestions on here. Best wishes
 sea_of_sharks
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 16
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/22/2013 9:49:55 PM
Dedicate yourself to the Lord. God is good and great and maybe he has other paths for you.

God bless.
 stillthesame9
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 17
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/22/2013 10:22:19 PM
Well it all depends, does the OP want sex and to talk to women because he feels left out, or because his hormones crave women? If it's the former, he can easily get over that with therapy and putting his ego at the door. I know a few guys like that...guys that have never been on a date let alone done anything physical, but just feel left out because it seems like everyone else is doing it, get mad when they see couples in public etc. and to me they're their own worst enemies.
 A_Intersect_B
Joined: 3/11/2013
Msg: 18
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/22/2013 11:10:35 PM
Listen Lou19909, it doesn't really matter. I haven't had sex either and am not in a rush to do it. Just try to enjoy your life. For instance not having sex opens up tonnes of avenues. You should have a lot more free time then most people so learn something.
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 19
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/22/2013 11:52:26 PM
Just be yourself, trying to be anything but comes across as forced, and insincere. Being a virgin is your choice, it isn't a fault or a crime. At your age and situation I can understand the self esteem issues however, refer to what I said, BE YOURSELF. Things have a way of happening when we least expect them to. When you expect them to happen you feel like they will never happen. Go out, with friends or yourself. Be sociable, just for the sake of making conversation, call it practice. Say hello to everyone you pass, (ok, don't go overboard with this) be friendly. Some people may not return the hello, some may return it and that will be all that happens. Others may actually strike up a conversation, the majority of people like friendly and happy. BE that person. Give it a little time and you'll stop being afraid of engaging someone in conversation. And lastly, in spite of what you think as a shortcoming, I agree others may also view it as just that. Not everyone is going to see it that way. Believe in yourself, it's contagious. Be calm and relaxed, it is also contagious. People are more apt to judge you based on your demeanor, a shy demeanor will get you nowhere.
 15111958
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 20
Being a virgin
Posted: 3/23/2013 6:24:28 AM

Listen Lou19909, it doesn't really matter. I haven't had sex either and am not in a rush to do it. Just try to enjoy your life. For instance not having sex opens up tonnes of avenues. You should have a lot more free time then most people so learn something.


What a load of crap. There are millions of people who have very active sex lives and still find to do many other things. It's not like if you have sex you have to spend 15 hours of the day doing it.

Sounds like a cop out to me.



Dedicate yourself to the Lord. God is good and great and maybe he has other paths for you.


LOL yeah that'll help you get laid.
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Being a virgin
Posted: 12/3/2018 3:29:06 AM
Young and shy....sometimes a good thing but it will come your way....usually when you least expect it....and usually like a big hammer sooooo IF your fishing and a woman comes your way be careful because there's fatal attractions and us dumb guys tend to get involved with them....THEN can't get away...lol....take your time and enjoy the scenery....good luck!
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Being a virgin
Posted: 12/3/2018 8:09:38 AM
This post was from 2013. I hope he is not a virgin anymore. LOL.
 RickeyGelina
Joined: 11/28/2018
Msg: 23
Being a virgin
Posted: 12/17/2018 9:40:03 PM
I still am at nearly 45 due to severe social anxiety and such. I nearly freak out ordering food in a restaurant. I can't work as I have thrown up or passed out in job interviews due to anxiety.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Being a virgin
Posted: 12/30/2018 5:22:56 PM
I see that you now have a 4 month old baby. Was it worth it? :D
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Being a virgin