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 SlaveDriver8
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 2
Husband wants to watchPage 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
There is a huge difference between a fantasy that takes place solely in the mind and one that plays out in real life. He's enamored with the idea of watching you with another man, but doesn't care to act it out. It's not that uncommon, for both men and women. I get a enquiries from women all the time about bondage because they've had these fantasies in their minds for a long time, but very few take it any further than just questions.

My suggestion would be that the next time he brings it up during foreplay , talk the fantasy out with him WITHOUT suggesting that you guys actually do it. Hopefully, it'll turn you both on even more.
 TopGun4U79
Joined: 11/7/2010
Msg: 4
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History
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 6:13:25 AM
Personally, sounds like he is all talk. It might be a fantasy of his, but something in reality he would nvr act out with you.

If you are interested in doing something like this, it is better done outside of being already married. In a normal dating relationship I would be interested, but with a marriage involved the risk reward is not worth the possible complications it would bring on...Just my thoughts
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 6
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History
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 6:38:56 AM
Nah, he isn't gay, or even have the tendancy to be gay, at least I think, lol. You see couples looking for men to join them all the time either on here, another site or craigslist. Its normal. Just as long as he doesn't ask to touch this guys junk haha.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 8
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 7:05:01 AM

I have never been with two men at once so one time I called him on it and said ok it turns you on so much lets do it.

Two men = twice the work.

It's the 'hot wifing' or 'cuckold' fantasy he's got. Some guys get off watching their women with other men.
 NASH58
Joined: 1/4/2008
Msg: 10
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 7:23:30 AM
Try a swingers group
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 13
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 8:53:52 AM
One thing is a fantasy and another a reality. I've seen porn of two men doing a woman. Yet, I do not want to be in that situation with where the woman was someone that I cared and loved. So I would not be interested in it. HOwever, there's something visual about it that is interesting. So here's a suggestion. Get yourself a door mirror or a full mirror and fvck each other while looking at yourselves. That can be not only very stimulating but fun to watch yourselves.
 HowRJ
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 14
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 9:01:22 AM

Now my husband is very jealous. He gets raging mad at the thought of me even speaking to another man.......That led to a full blown out fight.



this has "National Examiner" headlines written all over it.......
 slowitalldown
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 15
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 9:05:50 AM
OP, I am trying to figure your situation out. From your postings, it seems as if you have been married since the time your great love went to prison- I am trying to figure out how you fit it all in in 5 years.

Perhaps your husband senses that he isn't the one who is your great love? Is your ex bf getting out of prison soon? If so, maybe you can arrange a threesome with the two of them- since it sounds like you are in an emotional threesome anyway.

Edit: oops I see he has 2 years left.

You say he calls, and you write. Is your husband aware of this?
 SuperSaiyanGoku
Joined: 3/18/2013
Msg: 17
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 10:08:11 AM
I tell you what, if you want your husband to shut up about the threesome, tell him you'll only do it if it's with a "black" guy.
 soulsearcher012
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 18
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Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 11:23:04 AM
^^^^^^ that's a little racist don't ya think
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 19
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 11:52:18 AM
I think it's meant to be "Bigger D*ckist".lol
 SuperSaiyanGoku
Joined: 3/18/2013
Msg: 20
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 12:16:32 PM

^^^^^^ that's a little racist don't ya think



I think it's more like a harsh reality. You may not think that way and because you don’t, you MAY associate with people who share your opinion. Good for you. However, unless we face the facts as they are, we can’t change our (America's) circumstances. I think the facts show that a lot of "whites" do not accept "blacks" as equals. Sure people like the idea of equality because it makes them feel like good people but when it comes to practical application, oh NO.

I realize that everyone is bias to a certain degree but pretending those biases don't exist is like sweeping it under the rug. Besides, I actually found my statement quite funny because I knew it would make quite a few people uncomfortable. If that's the case, examine yourself deep down and figure out why you feel uncomfortable. It could be you realize the truth in what I said.

Sadly, there's a very good chance that what I said would keep the OP's husband from bringing up the topic again. Don't forget, a lot of people who were racially bias during the civil rights movement are still alive today, as well as their kids.


I think it's meant to be "Bigger D*ckist".lol


Not at all what I meant.
 Vinny 528
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 21
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 12:24:38 PM
He knows you're not satisfied, so he's suggesting watching you with another man to see if you will take the bate and if you do, you confirm his fear that you want a better lover and that you might cheat on him. The proof is how raging mad he gets at the thought of you speaking to another man and the full blown out fight when you called him on it and said "ok it turns you on so much lets do it". He's probably not gay, just intimidated and feeling inadequate.
 andy1961
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 22
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Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 12:25:08 PM
OP, I am trying to figure your situation out. From your postings, it seems as if you have been married since the time your great love went to prison- I am trying to figure out how you fit it all in in 5 years.

Perhaps your husband senses that he isn't the one who is your great love? Is your ex bf getting out of prison soon? If so, maybe you can arrange a threesome with the two of them- since it sounds like you are in an emotional threesome anyway.


Yep, I'm trying to figure out the OP's situation as well.

In fact I'm starting to wonder if she's in her own fantasy world of make-believe.

Only last month she was on "Profile Reviews", looking for advice and seriously looking for a new man

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts15889406.aspx
 soulsearcher012
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 23
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Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 12:43:07 PM
I think the facts show that a lot of "whites" do not accept "blacks" as equals. Sure people like the idea of equality because it makes them feel like good people but when it comes to practical application, oh NO


IMO You're comment is racist plain and simple
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 24
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 1:11:00 PM
OP, it's a quite common fantasy of men, watching their woman getting it on with another man, and does not mean he has any interest in being physical with the other man himself, meaning gay/bi tendencies.

Reality though is somewhat a different matter. Inviting others into the bedroom requires a happy, stable and secure relationship between to sexually adventurous and emotionally stable people. It is NOT for persons with jealousy issues.

Seems like he's one of those who like to fantasize about it, but not transferring it into real life.

If you're not really keen on trying it out, let it slide until he brings it up again and then ask him why he reacted the way he did last time around when you agreed to try it out (of course to please him, smile!).
 donrichardson
Joined: 9/14/2012
Msg: 25
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Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 4:29:36 PM

What do you think this is all about? One of my worries is he may have gay tendencies. Men, are you attracted to other men if you would want to fulfill a fantasy like this? I just need some advice!

I have sometimes fantasized about my wife having a threesome with another guy. I can assure you that I am totally straight. The appeal to me is that some other guy has a chance to see just how good she is at sex (making him envy me), and the thought that her taking two guys at one time would double her pleasure, which would make me very happy also. We have never done it and I doubt we will but I wanted you to know that his motivation probably has nothing to do with him being gay.
 dishearteneddave
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 26
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/22/2013 5:17:53 PM

Msg #1. Gaile79) I have never been with two men at once so one time I called him on it and said ok it turns you on so much let’s do it. That led to a full blown out fight.


What, exactly, was the fight about? It doesn’t make sense he would suggest something and then be upset when you agreed considering he has suggested it a number of times prior? Did you suggest a specific person? Did you accuse him of being gay? Do you recall what set it off?

You also wrote,
We have a decent sex life but at times I am unsatisfied. I have asked him how he feels about it and he always says of course that he is very happy with it. Now this is the problem for me.


Maybe he knows you’re not satisfied and wants to see if another man can satisfy you. The reason I say that is during my first marriage the sex was lousy and I just assumed women, in general, didn’t like sex. I was married at 20 and only had two temporary girlfriends before I married so I really didn’t know any better.

Anyway, we finally divorced and my ex remarried. A year or so after remarrying she phoned one day and complained her husband was always after her for sex. Her words were, “You know me. I never liked sex.”

The point being maybe rather than worrying about you checking out another guy without him knowing he wants you to experience another guy and see if the guy does satisfy you. If the other guy does not satisfy you your husband can then say the problem must rest with you.

Just to be clear here I’m not saying this is some kind of scientific test. Perhaps your husband knows/senses you’re not fulfilled and he wants to “prove” the problem does not rest with him. You already have had problems with the marriage so I’m sure he knows it’s on shaky ground. Rather than have you leave for another guy thinking he’s the problem in the bedroom he wants you to check out another guy before you decide.

Just saying.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 28
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/23/2013 4:17:32 AM

Ever since we met he brings up a threesome not with another woman but him and another man and me. Now my husband is very jealous. He gets raging mad at the thought of me even speaking to another man but he has this fantasy of him and another man doing me at the same time! I don't understand how something that makes him so mad can turn him on so much. I have never been with two men at once so one time I called him on it and said ok it turns you on so much lets do it. That led to a full blown out fight.


Ok so he brings up threesomes with another man,and you called him out and said ok let's do it and you ended up in a fight?

That's enough to not risk doing it if you are fighting BEFORE it goes down!

All you need is a sword fight going on in your bed!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 29
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Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/23/2013 4:56:19 AM
A few thoughts:

* the repeated discussions and fantasizing about you with another man, as he watches, IS compatible with his being very jealous and "raging mad at the thought of me even speaking to another man." Both are examples of intense control behavior. He is in charge at all times, directing results for his own pleasure.

* the fantasy itself, sounds to me to be identical to watching a porno movie starring you as the woman so open and freely sexual, that you will do all manner of things just for the sake of a good time. Perhaps the REAL fantasy at the base of this version, isn't that you have sex with other people; it's that HE get's to have total sexual freedom with his wife.

* "called him out on it" is not a precise phrase. When I read it, my first thought was that you meant that you brought another man home, and had sex with him in front of your husband on the floor in the living room. Since your later words indicate that you never came close to that, I don't know what "called him out on it" means, and I suspect that it means that you attacked him about the fantasy in some way, such as accusing him of being gay, and that the fight was a natural result.

* on a slightly deeper psychological level, perhaps the "other man" is an alter ego of himself, not an actual person. Perhaps what he really wants, is to have his alter ego able to do all sorts of things sexually that he feels he cannot, without making himself a "bad person," so he creates a discardable fantasy guy (in a threesome fantasy, most people want the third to be a come and go stranger, not a permanent multiple-mate set up).

Thus, it is possible that this is all a very messy situation where he is trying to open up to you sexually, and because he is clumsy about it, you are reacting badly, and it is actually increasing his subconscious belief that he has to have limited sexual expression in order to be "okay." Thus the fantasy which is designed to relieve him of blame for his own desires, is actually enhanced and kept alive, and kept confused.
 Cowboybt5
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 30
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/23/2013 5:31:50 AM
I feel for you, OP. It sounds like he's putting you in a no win situation. Either way, it looks like a loose situation. I don't have a problem with people exploring teir kinky side but when they get mad at you repeatedly for being open to what they sugest. I think a counselor might be in order.

Good luck I hope you can find some answers.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 33
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/23/2013 8:33:44 AM

Reality though is somewhat a different matter. Inviting others into the bedroom requires a happy, stable and secure relationship between to sexually adventurous and emotionally stable people. It is NOT for persons with jealousy issues.


The problem with this notion is that I consider myself an emotionally stable person, yet if I have those deep feelings for a woman, I cannot envision myself sharing at all.


* on a slightly deeper psychological level, perhaps the "other man" is an alter ego of himself, not an actual person. Perhaps what he really wants, is to have his alter ego able to do all sorts of things sexually that he feels he cannot, without making himself a "bad person," so he creates a discardable fantasy guy (in a threesome fantasy, most people want the third to be a come and go stranger, not a permanent multiple-mate set up).


This makes perfect sense. While watching porn, in which a woman does it with two guys may not bother me, the idea of another guy naked next to me and my woman, sounds completely repulsive.
 ARadicalPunk
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 36
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Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/23/2013 2:30:32 PM
In one thread you are voicing complaints about a long lost love, and in this thread you are complaining about your husband wanting to be cuckold? Are your issues actually real, or are you just really-really bored?
 Avalon1012
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 38
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Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/23/2013 6:03:19 PM
After reading all your replies back…. This is like watching a train wreck... and waiting for the big bang and all the cars smashing together and coming right off the tracks…
There is no upside to this 3some at all.. and none for the female…
Either he’s going to go off on the other person.. go off on you.. go off on both of you....
or for the rest of your life he is going to label you a slut..
Neither you or him have the right mind set to have this turn out well..
The carnage will be like a James Bond movie and no one here is name bond.. Bang!!!!!!!

And he's the Jealous type..

Just tie the weight around your neck.. find a 100 foot bridge.. with just two feet of water and jump
I'd put my money on this bet... that you Survive
before I'd place a dollar on that 3some
JMO
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 40
Husband wants to watch
Posted: 3/25/2013 12:52:46 PM
I'm confused after viewing your posting history.....

You talk about chatting with other guys and say this:


UPDATE!! My roommate and I are both on here


You're married and have a female roomate?

Something is out of whack here....
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