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Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 1
ReboundersPage 1 of 1    
Is it a frequent occurrence gentlemen if you can call them that using dating sites on the rebound to pump themselves up then dump you?

Example A: Got on good. Disappears. Contacted him a few times no replies. Recently divorced , last woman left him for another man. Saw him on another site claiming women stalk him.

Example B: Said he had concluded a long term relationship. Went out a few times. Things seemed to be going good. Not too fast so no booty calls. Another one that does the disappearing act. Didn't contact as not to be labeled a stalker. Found out through a coworker he was back with his long term. Really?

Does no one have the courtesy to say thanks but no thanks? Am I too naive?
Joined: 2/13/2013
Msg: 2
Posted: 3/24/2013 4:45:22 PM
Seems like the internet makes it easy to be a coward!
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 3
Posted: 3/24/2013 5:06:15 PM
Learn to ask a few more questions before meeting these guys. They can't use you if you dont let them. JMHO
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 4
Posted: 3/24/2013 5:26:03 PM
People on the rebound are just crazy and desperate. They always try to find the next one, only to return to the one they left. I have an example for you:

This was 13 years ago. I met this woman who had just left her abusive husband at the time. We hit it off instantly. Over the next month, we had a very intense sexual relationship. Then out of the blue, she dumps me to go back to her abusive husband.
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 5
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Posted: 3/24/2013 5:59:01 PM
More often than not, people completely over estimate, if not delude themselves completely, regarding how well things are going Just because you went on a few dates that weren't horrible, doesn't mean things are going good or that you are entitled to more dates. Sure, it could be that these men were rebounding or it could simply be that they met someone they liked more. You will never know why, so trying to speculate is a pointless exercise. If you really get this upset because guys don't spell it out for you, you need much thicker skin before trying online dating.
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 6
Posted: 3/24/2013 7:06:03 PM
Online dating sites are a virtual haven for broken people. It's not the dating sites' fault. It's just the nature of the beast. Broken people simply aren't going to give you the neat-and-tidy closure that you seem to be demanding; they already have their issues.


I didn't realise I was broken? Hmmm

Do a search on the disappearing man.
Very, very common.
Even to the extent that I have read some popular psychology books that discuss this.
The theories abound. Take your pick.
One of my favourites is a modern take on the 7 year itch.
7 dates or 7 copulations and the male leaves seeking another female for copulation.
Spreading his wild oats as it seems.
And most frequently after being in a situation where there was less copulation.
According to this book "Why men want sex and women need love" By Alan Pease (A funny if depressing read if you are not in the top few of desirability.)

This goes back to the cave man days.

Now if this is true, I know many women who after 7 dates and/or 7 copulations would feel they were in a relationship.
According to this book. We women are delusional.
Ahh well.

Viva la difference.

All I know is that it happens.
So try to not get your hopes up too high - and if you believe that book wait till well after the magic 7 before thinking anything.
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 7
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Posted: 3/24/2013 10:06:56 PM

Is it a frequent occurrence gentlemen if you can call them that using dating sites on the rebound to pump themselves up then dump you?

Sounds as if you're a victim of the old "pump and dump" ploy that many rebounders are guilty of. Live and learn, I'd say. These folk are torn between new found freedom and maybe missing being in a relationship. I say "folk" because women do it too.

I guess this is why I've always been warned about people fresh out of a relationship. They need time to adjust.
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 8
Posted: 3/25/2013 7:16:08 PM
That's what I come to understand, that dating sites are a virtual haven for broken people. Yet, aren't we all broken to some point. As I point out to people, we that are in our 40's, 50's, and so on...have scars. We are somewhat broken, some more broken than others and they do hide. I let the person know, I have scars and that I have things in my life that needs to be fix and I am working on it. Its not to a point, where I can't love. We have been through a lot in our lifetime. Then you have some that live in their pain and don't want to acknowledge it and you find that a lot on dating sites. I truly believe, we come together to assist each other on this journey call life (to help each other heal). If we can just get that in our head, the world will be a better place.

I love they way you analayzed it all. I am in total agreement with you.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 9
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Posted: 3/26/2013 1:43:48 AM
I can't even read what you're trying to say here.
You really need to learn how to be a bit more....eloquent?

Maybe it's just me, but I don't even know how to answer this because it's so poorly written.
But I'm gonna go ahead and assume that yes, you are too naive.
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