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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!      Home login  
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 Lamour_noir
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 1
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I found a really great catch on here everything seems perfect except for the fact that he is a horrible kisser...moans when he kisses..thats a turn off for me and he whines like a baby... If he was to change these things he would be perfect! i really can not compromise on this and do not know how to tell him this ! Any real advice please I know its going to be painful but if we can get past this we might make it!
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 2
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:08:03 PM
Oh, bless your heart. I had one of those only he attempted to eat my entire face when he kissed me. I needed a towel after a kiss. Ugh. I'm nauseous just thinking about it. He was so amazing in so many other ways. I couldn't get beyond it. I tried to, I really did. I tried "teaching" him how I wanted (needed) to be kissed but... it didn't work. Maybe you will have better luck than I did. I sure hope so.
 ARadicalPunk
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 3
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HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:16:01 PM
Why is the most obvious solution the most simple one, and everyone seems to miss it? Woman up, pull him aside, and explain to him what is wrong, get him to work on his technique, and--oh I don't know--talk to him? Derp-da-herp-sherpa-derpa.

Edit: I'm sure this man really appreciates you blasting him on this site instead of talking to him about the issues in your relationship first and foremost over something you can easily fix.
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 4
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HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:19:26 PM
Thats really tough Lamour and unless your able to find a way of letting him know that the kissing needs work without him feeling silly then its just going to be the killer.

See we think everything is ok unless we are told. and the paradox is that some guys if they ARE told feel hurt and offended instead of thinking "Oh thats ok I want it to be good for you, I will try XYZ and stop ABC cos I want you to enjoy my kisses/touches etc".

Personally if I was mad keen on you then I would be happy for you to tell me. when I was younger I was really into a girl and having a great time giving her oral of a more intimate nature and thought she was loving it as she was gyrating her hips - truth was she was moving because she was doing her best to get my tongue and her body into a better position so she enjoyed it more. Eventually she said "This is nice but can you get your curl your tongue a little and get a bit deeper" Instead of being offended I was glad she was able to tell me so I could please her better.

And spot : I think punk is answering lamour NOT you ...just as I am :)
Note: Punk I hardley think she is blasting him and anyway whats the worst he might think IF he was to find this post?..."Wow I need to ajust my technique here "
She is seeking a solution and advice rather than talking to him first because she does not want to rock the boat.

I can see how his moaning would put you off - I love kissing and prefer them to be deep but quiet. I would also feel stupid if I moaned while kissing a girl.

Good luck with how you decide to handle it.....

Spot: ...Punk is answering lamour NOT you :)
 ABritInBurnaby
Joined: 8/31/2012
Msg: 5
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:20:02 PM
Yeah, there is only one way he will know he is doing something wrong, you tell him. It will be really embarrassing for him (and you) and likely bruise his ego, but if he is into you enough, he will be more than willing to try and change to suit your needs. Good luck!
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 6
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:22:33 PM

Why is the most obvious solution the most simple one, and everyone seems to miss it? Woman up, pull him aside, and explain to him what is wrong, get him to work on his technique, and--oh I don't know--talk to him? Derp-da-herp-sherpa-derpa.


If you read my response you will see that I said I tried teaching my bad kisser how I needed to be kissed and yes, that included conversation. Some people can't be taught how to kiss or comprehend what they read.
 ARadicalPunk
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 7
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HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:26:28 PM
If you read my response you will see that I said I tried teaching my bad kisser how I needed to be kissed and yes, that included conversation. Some people can't be taught how to kiss or comprehend what they read.


The answer is obvious then: if kissing is a deal breaker then she needs to get this over with--sooner rather than later!
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 8
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:27:20 PM
Well diffrent women like to kiss diffrent so he might have dated a woman who wanted him to kiss this way.
I dated a girl once who couldn't kiss if her life depanded on it. She said she used to date a guys who didn't kiss much.she also wasn't into kissing much, No idea what kind of guys she used to date..
Took a while to teach her how to kiss... She did learn and got to like kissing alot more, She actualy wanted to kiss all the time. Some people don't understand how impotrant kissing is ... It's right out there with good sex.. Heck with no good kissing there is no good sex.
I'm there with the rest of you girls..
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 9
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HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:30:20 PM
Its all about personal chemistry -- If you enjoy 90% of what you do together you can get past the 10% you dont ...Depending on how important that 10% is to you...over time as you get used to each other that 10% goes down to 0% and your both 100% happy
:)

Oh and if you think you might "Make it" with this guy then just perhaps you might show him a little respect by changing your status for now. Cos right now it looks like your keeping your options very open :)
 QT3.18
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 10
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:39:25 PM
Oh dear. Well, you have to tell him but you have to use extreme tact and diplomacy when you do it.

Maybe start by telling him a few really great things that you like about him. Then tell him that you notices that he has this little moan when he kisses you that is a bit disconcerting, and that he has a whining thing that he does, and he probably doesn't even realize he's doing it, but you thought you would bring it to his attention. But you think he is a fantastic guy and you are so happy to have met him, and he has the cutest little butt you have seen this side of the Mississippi. "Now let's go grab a bite to eat, handsome!"

How's that?

Other than that, I got nothing.
 hotsurferchick4u
Joined: 3/9/2013
Msg: 11
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:15:04 PM
I've actually never experienced a really bad kisser, but have had a guy that used too much tongue...does that count??
So much that I wanted to gag!!! :p Less is more! Guys take notes, ha ha! Anyways, this whole moaning thing is kinda different...hmmm...never had that.
I would think it'd be awkward to try& tell a guy how to kiss and I'd prefer his technique to be his own, so if it wasn't good that would definitely make things awkward...:0
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 12
for the love of God
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:23:01 PM

Well, I'M certainly not going to teach him!!!

LMFAO, best answer hands-down.

OP, if it's just the sounds tell him to shut up. And use the words "shut up", no sugar coating. If he otherwise doesn't know how to kiss, dump him now. I can only imagine what sex will be like. He might be clueless AND unwilling to learn.
 Dtheman38
Joined: 3/16/2013
Msg: 13
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HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:26:12 PM
Teach him how to kiss
 Jackals38
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 14
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HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 12:28:28 AM
You don't need to teach him how to kiss, you just have to teach him what you like. At least, that's how you should phrase it. Then he won't take it as him being a bad kisser but rather a "personal preference" on your part. His ego remains in tact (if you phrase it right) and you may get a somewhat better kisser. Honestly though, if it's bad, it will generally never be great no matter what you do.
 tooborednow
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 15
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 4:09:11 AM

moans when he kisses..thats a turn off for me and he whines like a baby

You can either tell him directly in a conversation or you can go kind of a passive route.
Since you are here rather than talking to him directly you are probably looking for the passive route.

That's pretty simple.
Next time you kiss and he starts moaning, laugh, chuckle, and tell him his moaning is distracting you because it sounds funny. Each time he moans just stop kissing him and laugh a little bit, like it really is funny.

And when he whines, laugh, chuckle, and tell him he's whining like a baby, put attention on his behavior rather than what he's whining about.

No one likes being laughed at.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 16
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 5:46:05 AM
The only thing you have said is that he makes noise when he kisses. Tell him to stop doing that. Seems simple enough.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 17
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HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 6:40:02 AM
bad kisser= no chemistry

say bye bye now and save yourself any more bad kissing
 Curt2.0
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 18
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 6:57:22 AM
You should probably dump him. Clearly he's not perfect and if there is one thing I've learned from being on POF for the past two months it's that all you ladies deserve perfection...
 RB_64
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 19
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HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 7:01:19 AM
If the kisses feel fantastic, but you just can't stand his sounds...........then turn on some music very loud and drown him out. When he asks why the music is so loud - tell him why his own sounds turn you off.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 20
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 7:23:10 AM
Curt2.0

"if there is one thing I've learned from being on POF for the past two months it's that all you ladies deserve perfection..."

Really?

If that is the case.....I am certainly thankful that life does not always give what one deserves! Lol If hypothetically, perfection existed.....can you imagine the standards one would be forced to live up too? I am just looking for one who is imperfectly perfect for me.......


Op:

Greater intimacy can created by being able to talk openly about turn ons and offs. Just do it in a tackful manner.
 Curt2.0
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 21
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 7:30:09 AM
I was being facetious. Mostly. There are lots of people on here with unrealistic expectations though, I'm pleased to hear you don't count yourself among them.
 Belluvthebawl
Joined: 2/19/2013
Msg: 22
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 7:30:20 AM
So tell him to cut off the sound effects!!!
 lookingformr.honest
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 23
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 8:11:42 AM
When he starts to moan, why not pull away and ask him if you did something to hurt him? Of course he'll say no, but when he starts to moan again, you could very nicely say, please don't...i keep thinking i'm hurting you. Hopefully it would work and neither of you would be embarrassed. Good luck!
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 24
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 9:20:56 AM
LOL at this thread.

There is an old song - the line goes like this: "It's in his kiss" - It really is. Oh - by the way - it's in her kiss too.

It's one of the biggest moves you will ever make in the formation of a relationship. If the kiss is poor, it's a bad omen.

If you aren't kissing, you are just wishing!

Edit: more - that song above should be a woman's theme song... along with "Respect", by Aretha - and "Girls Just Want to Have fun", by Cyndy Lauper! I know what girls want.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 25
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 2:17:48 PM

When he starts to moan, why not pull away and ask him if you did something to hurt him? Of course he'll say no, but when he starts to moan again, you could very nicely say, please don't...i keep thinking i'm hurting you. Hopefully it would work and neither of you would be embarrassed.

Great idea! This is a light and tactful way to respond to his moans.

The worst was the guy who shoved his tongue down my throat, keeping it motionless like a wet log. Gagging. Or the man who zoomed in with his tongue already out. What an image. I shudder to think of it.

Note to guys: MIX IT UP. Soft, light kisses, face, neck and ears, French kissing, passionate kisses... the variety is enticing. Ooh la la.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!