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 daver987654
Joined: 11/2/2011
Msg: 1
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You couldn't make it upPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
"School dinner staff have been banned from serving triangular flapjacks after one was thrown and hurt a pupil.

Caterers at Castle View School in Canvey Island, Essex, have been told instead to cut their flapjacks into squares or rectangles.

The secondary school is yet to comment on the incident in which a boy was hit in the face.

Essex County Council confirmed both the incident and the subsequent decision on flapjacks."

Is it possible to regulate for every conceivable potential danger? Should we be told what we can eat, drink etc?
 Chuzz16
Joined: 3/26/2011
Msg: 2
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 3/25/2013 3:32:37 AM

Caterers at Castle View School in Canvey Island, Essex, have been told instead to cut their flapjacks into squares or rectangles.


Surely circles would be much safer. ;)))
 monty336
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 3
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 3/25/2013 5:53:48 AM
Well monty python did a sketch on bananas used as a weapon, they must have had foresight into todays elf n safety, another point one of the drivers in the docks told me he was a major company had to wait a hour, so told go and have a cup of tea he was on his way when stopped to be told he was walking to fast [ trip hazard] he thought it was a joke and replied i normally walk slower when i wear stilletto heels, his name was taken and reported
 Chuzz16
Joined: 3/26/2011
Msg: 4
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 3/25/2013 12:32:08 PM

You couldn't make it up


I see you didn't make it up. It was on the 6 o'clock news. Unbelievable. :))))
 Vampire_Cat
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 5
You couldn't make it up
Posted: 3/25/2013 2:12:41 PM
A lot of things banned due to H&S, have nothing to do with H&S law which is actually specific about what it does and doesn't cover, and about what risks, are of a low enough threshold for them not to warrant any special rules.

Last year at one of our charity events I wrote and a group of us performed a sketch called "Battlefireld Health & Safety Officer " which ripped the sh*t out of such stupid rules. "cant use barbed wire on the battlefield sargearnt, if its left lying around and someone trips over and gets hurt we might get sued", "but sir we ARE at WAR" "maybe sargearnt but that doesn't mean it should be dangerous" .....
 gemini_lady_uk
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 6
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 3/25/2013 2:26:50 PM
A lot of H & S is not specific. There are some very stringent rules but many aspects that are taken as law are in fact 'approved codes of practice'. The information provided is designed to be used as a guideline and adapted to particular situations.

In any given situation it is easy to carry out a quick risk assessment and decide whether action requires to be taken. It tends to be employers who act in an over zealous way due mainly to the fear of being sued. Then they 'blame' HSE because they need somebody to blame.

A simple risk assessment takes into account the risk of injury, the severity of injury and the number of people likely to be effected.

If a sensible assessment were to be carried out on the said 'flapjack incident' it would have scored pretty low.
 KCCO_81
Joined: 8/18/2012
Msg: 7
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 3/25/2013 3:41:10 PM
Triangular flapjacks? Safe to assume you guys are not referring to pancakes?
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 8
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 3/25/2013 3:59:03 PM
I would make them into balls for better trajectory to throw at the fools who make up these silly rules based on one offs.
Human resources and dictates from those who's only aim is to protect from litigation and being sued only adds to the culture of wrapping youngsters in cotton wool and stifles individuality and expression.
 daver987654
Joined: 11/2/2011
Msg: 9
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 3/25/2013 5:09:08 PM
Bet the kids aren't allowed bunsen burners these days. I still remember with great fondness some of our chemistry lessons.

There was Mike Johnson opposite me earnestly involved in his experiment. He had great big afro style ginger hair which he managed to set fire to much to my and the others on the same bench huge amusement. We watched as it slowly smouldered. The smell was awful. One of us did point it out to him but only at the point where he noticed his head was getting hot.

Chuzz - doubted me twice in the same day! Onions and flapjacks, sob. Hope the onions work.
 Chuzz16
Joined: 3/26/2011
Msg: 10
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 3/25/2013 11:56:56 PM

Chuzz - doubted me twice in the same day! Onions and flapjacks, sob. Hope the onions work.


I'm a woman... It's my 'job' to doubt what men tell me. :)))))
 holby
Joined: 7/7/2012
Msg: 11
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 3/26/2013 6:52:49 AM
In my days at school
Everything I ate was
Hard and dangerous
Most of it dangerous
If you eat it
The worlds gone
Crazy
 Chuzz16
Joined: 3/26/2011
Msg: 12
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 3/26/2013 7:59:20 AM

And this is what's caused the uncontrollable ferals we have now. Had their parents told them no a few more times, they'd have learned rules, manners and respect. Never saying no to a child is like not training a dog.


And then you get the parents that say no to their children 5 times and then give in to them once they can't stand the children whinging on and on.

I don't say no to my son that often, but if I ever do, he knows not to ask again. No means no in my house.
 daver987654
Joined: 11/2/2011
Msg: 13
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 4/12/2013 2:51:19 AM
Just continuing my disbelief at what our betters get up to. The plebgate row goes on. How the heck could one person saying something daft, allegedly, could end up like this????




"The Scotland Yard inquiry into the "Plebgate" row which led to Andrew Mitchell resigning as chief whip has cost an estimated £144,000 so far.

Detectives are probing claims that police may have lied about the dispute.

Metropolitan Police Deputy Assistant Commissioner Patricia Gallan is leading the investigation, dubbed Operation Alice.

She wrote: "It remains that I have 30 officers at my disposal and the Operation Alice is estimated to have cost £144,000 to date.

The letter said the police had taken 740 statements - 44 of which were described as "key" - and interviewed seven police officers and one member of the public under caution.
 daver987654
Joined: 11/2/2011
Msg: 14
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 4/12/2013 5:02:54 PM
and another one.................


The owner of an aquatics shop who is being sued by a policeman has said he "thought it was a joke" when he received the compensation claim letter.

PC Richard Seymour said he tore his Achilles tendon when he fell down a hole after being called out to a night-time break-in at the shop in Surrey on 28 March last year.

He is claiming compensation for medical treatment and loss of overtime.

Surrey Police said the force was not supporting or funding the legal claim.

Stuart Lambley, owner of Maidenhead Aquatics, which is based at a garden centre in West Horsley, said he received a phone call from his alarm company that there had been a break-in.

When he arrived, two police officers were there.

"We let them in and walked down to our main building where we saw the windows were smashed in and a safe was taken," he said.

"They were here for about half an hour to 40 minutes looking around, taking a statement and that was about it.

"A year later I then see a letter saying a police officer fell down a drain or a manhole on our premises.

"I thought it was a joke."

'Full pay throughout'

Mr Lambley said he did not know the details of what actually happened or how much compensation PC Seymour was claiming.

He added: "I believe if you're going to ring someone up to ask for help and they're paid to do so, if you get injured doing that and are being paid while off sick, then surely you shouldn't be able to sue someone afterwards."

Surrey Police said PC Seymour had remained on full pay throughout.

It is entirely wrong that police officers who sustain injuries through no fault of their own whilst trying to protect the public should be singled out in this way ”

Chief Constable Lynne Owens said: "Policing, by its very nature, carries an element of risk and the vast majority of our officers accept that this comes as part of the job.

"They are rightly proud of what they do and would never consider making a private compensation claim against a victim of crime."

Slater and Gordon, PC Seymour's lawyers, said he was injured falling down a hole which was not visible at night.

"PC Seymour was in a leg plaster as a result of his injuries for four months and was unable to perform full duties for a further two months," the spokesman said.

"He lost some of his normal wages during that six-month period.

"In addition, he is still paying for medical treatment which he needed to be able to get back to work.

"This is a claim against the garden centre who are covered by public liability insurance as they would be for any claim brought by a member of the public (under the Occupiers Liability Act).

"It is entirely wrong that police officers who sustain injuries through no fault of their own whilst trying to protect the public should be singled out in this way and forced to pay for their own medical treatment - treatment which actually helps them get them back to work as soon as possible "


Over to me [\b]

Looks like an investigation needed here. No mention by the owner of anything happening whilst he was there but suddenly 12 month later there's a problem. Why didn't the constable avail themself of the excellent insurance provided by police forces. etc
 daver987654
Joined: 11/2/2011
Msg: 15
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 4/12/2013 5:14:25 PM
Disingenuous words from his solicitor


He lost some of his normal wages during that six-month period.


Sounds like he didn' t get full pay for his six months off work but actually refers to loss of overtime. Since when was overtime part of normal pay?

A great step forward for the world would be to limit the hourly rate for legal eagles to something sensible. They are far to parasitical.
 daver987654
Joined: 11/2/2011
Msg: 16
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 7/28/2013 2:28:38 AM
yet once again we are finally told of the breathtaking incompetency of our governments. You would haave thought that actually knowing the immigration figures would be something useful to help in planning housing, NHS, education but no, the figures are just a guess - this from the BBC today:

Official UK migration figures are "little better than a best guess", a group of influential MPs has said.

The Public Administration Committee said the statistics were "not fit for purpose" and did not accurately assess how many non-UK residents were entering and leaving the country.

In the year to June 2012, immigration was estimated at 515,000 while emigration was estimated at 352,000, putting net migration - the difference between the number of people entering and leaving the country - at 163,000.
In particular, the MPs criticised the main source for producing migration figures - the International Passenger Survey (IPS).

It was designed in the early 1960s to examine tourism trends - something it is still used for today - and is based on "random interviews" with travellers at ports and airports, they said.
The Public Administration Committee said just 5,000 migrants a year were identified through the survey and it had a "large margin of error".
And the IPS fails to gather the type of information needed to work out the social and economic consequences of migration, such as demand for the NHS or schools, the MPs said.
Committee chairman Bernard Jenkin said: "Most people would be utterly astonished to learn that there is no attempt to count people as they enter or leave the UK.
"As an island nation, with professional statisticians and effective border controls, we could gain decent estimates of who exactly is coming into this country, where they come from, and why they are coming here.
"As it is, the top line numbers for the government's 100,000 net migration target are little better than a best guess - and could be out by tens of thousands. Clearly these statistics are not fit for purpose in the longer term."
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 17
You couldn't make it up
Posted: 7/28/2013 2:41:01 AM

Official UK migration figures are "little better than a best guess", a group of influential MPs has said.

The Public Administration Committee said the statistics were "not fit for purpose" and did not accurately assess how many non-UK residents were entering and leaving the country.

Calm down Daver.
And breathe....

It's all under control, they've got a van now, driving around, telling the illegal immigrants to go home.
Sorted...
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 18
You couldn't make it up
Posted: 7/28/2013 3:37:03 AM
I think the funniest thing is Lynton Crosby the tobacco lobbyist,
appointed as the new ''election strategist" by Mr Cameraman.

He said that lobbying would be the "next big scandal".
I think that Armando Iannucci (sp?) is secretly writing the tory manifesto..
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 19
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 7/28/2013 12:48:45 PM

I think the funniest thing is Lynton Crosby the tobacco lobbyist,
appointed as the new ''election strategist" by Mr Cameraman.

He said that lobbying would be the "next big scandal".
I think that Armando Iannucci (sp?) is secretly writing the tory manifesto.

What are the alternative and acceptable ways of fundraising for political parties?
 Graffiti_Poet
Joined: 1/2/2011
Msg: 20
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 7/28/2013 1:38:18 PM
What are the alternative and acceptable ways of fundraising for political parties?


Don't have any parties.

Elect independant MP's who represent the people who vote for them and not people who are selected for them and who's priorties are determined by faceless men who control the parties and their agendas.......GP
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 21
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 7/28/2013 3:32:09 PM
I agree. But how would that happen?
 Graffiti_Poet
Joined: 1/2/2011
Msg: 22
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 7/29/2013 12:02:16 AM
The solution is simple, vote for an independant candidate at every election.

Unfortunately human beings have a genetic predisposition to being 'ruled' and accepting people who say they are our leaders, as our leaders, so it's a big ask and unlikely to happen. Even when we know beyond any doubt that the people we vote for are corrupt, incompetent and only represent themselves and their 'party' people still vote for them. You only have to look at the expenses scandal (amongst many), almost every single MP found to be defrauding the public purse was re-selected by their party and re-elected by the voters.

Beggars belief but there you go. Still, one small step at a time eh!, you vote independant and I vote independant and before you know it, change we can believe in.............GP
 daver987654
Joined: 11/2/2011
Msg: 23
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 8/28/2013 12:24:59 AM
We can't tar everyone with the same brush but it looks more and more like bankers really don't have any sense of morality. This is from America. Judging by the last comment the Americans really are feeling a few collars.

"A US bank chairman has pleaded guilty to using bailout money given to rescue his firm to buy himself a luxury home.

Darryl Woods used $381,000 (£245,000) of the $1m given to his Mainstreet Bank to buy the Florida waterfront property.

Following the US housing collapse and financial crash, Mainstreet needed to be propped up with taxpayers' money.

US district attorney Tammy****nson said: "At a time when many Americans were losing their homes, he was siphoning off public funds."

Bailout money was given to Mainstreet under the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) established after the US financial crash.

Mr Woods had previously written to TARP regulators describing Mainstreet as a small community bank and saying the funds "will provide vitally needed infusions to a bleeding patient".

His wrongdoing was uncovered when regulators began examining how the money was used.

To date, some 140 criminal cases have been filed against individuals alleged to have misused funds."
 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 24
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 1/21/2015 5:09:59 AM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-west-wales-30913291 - traffic warden books wheelie bin in Carmarthen.

Actually the story is about one of those commercial bins which was not only on double yellows was possibly also blocking the road. In a moment of light heartedness the traffic warden "booked" it although no ticket was inside.

What I find unbelievable is the response


Carmarthenshire council traffic and safety manager John McEvoy said: "There was no ticket issued, it is not possible to book a wheelie bin or anything that is not motorised.

"Although this was meant as a humorous incident, we take this kind of thing very seriously and have launched a formal investigation into the conduct of this officer."


Why take it very seriously? Why not just chuckle and let it go?
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 25
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You couldn't make it up
Posted: 1/21/2015 5:59:26 AM
"Why take it very seriously? Why not just chuckle and let it go?"

in other news, literally, on google.
i read that the mayor of paris is trying to sue fox news for stating that there are muslim no go areas in paris, where all but muslims are excluded.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jan/20/paris-mayor-anne-hidalgo-muslim-no-go-zones

je suis charlie? ha ha ha!
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