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 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 7
Meeting at your house?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Meeting at a public place (and both with their own transportation) is standard online dating practice.
Singles can discuss meeting at their homes after a handful of dates and getting to know each other.
 RB_64
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 9
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Meeting at your house?
Posted: 3/26/2013 7:18:31 AM
In my world, personal safety is always a top priority. I use the following rules for any first-time meet:

Rule # 1 - never, ever give out information that allows someone to track you to your home (this may include phone #)
Rule # 2 - always meet in public - part ways in public, not at personal vehicles
Rule # 3 - leave your meet/date plans with a trusted friend (in case something goes wrong)
Rule # 4 - no matter how great the date seems - do not go to their house or your house that night

One man I was chatting with a couple years ago got royally pissed off at me because he voluntarily gave me a ton of personally identifying information and then expected me to do the same for him prior to meeting. I stopped all conversation once his underlying anger/control issue surfaced.

Your life is precious......always plan to protect it.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 17
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Meeting at your house?
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:06:20 AM

One man I was chatting with a couple years ago got royally pissed off at me because he voluntarily gave me a ton of personally identifying information and then expected me to do the same for him prior to meeting.

So, you were allowed to feel safe ... but he had to take his chances? That doesn't make any sense; it's not just women who face risks, you know. Ever hear about the guy in Edmonton who pretended to be a woman to lure guys to his home, so he could kill them? Or women who lure men so that her male accomplices can rob him, or run some kind of con?

I stopped all conversation once his underlying anger/control issue surfaced.

Sounds like he dodged a bullet.

OP, meeting in a public place is a good idea. Avoiding being alone with a stranger is also a good idea. However, to keep things in perspective, remember that the majority of assaults are done by family/friends of the victim. Stranger assaults are less common. Take reasonable precautions, but don't let overblown fear rule your life.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 18
Meeting at your house?
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:21:42 AM

Movie at your place = code for getting frisky!! :)

If any man becomes irritated about your own personal boundaries, it's time to say buh-bye!!


These were my thoughts exactly.. :))
 RB_64
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 19
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Meeting at your house?
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:24:53 AM
4ms4me:

He volunteered personal information (full name, home address, etc.) that I did not request nor did I need for a meet in a public place. I have no obligation to share detailed personal information with anyone prior to a meet. I have stated this before on the forums, potential dates who have little regard/respect for their personal safety or mine are unlikely to have my six in real life.

The men I date, who tend to have military or law enforcement backgrounds, respect my personal stance. Others, such as yourself who choose to bash my personal stance in a public forum would never be in my circle of friends.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 20
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Meeting at your house?
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:33:45 AM
This is so obvious that it does not warrant more than a "THINK"!!

The first time meeting is not a date, it is a meet and greet, done in a public place, and with no intentions other than to see each other for real, see if attraction is there, hopefully chemistry will start, and then you decide if you want more or not. Even with that, you do not stroll over to anyone's home until you are ready, willing, and able to feel comfortable with that person and being alone with them like that!

cd
 brinaalina
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 21
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Meeting at your house?
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:45:45 AM
No you never meet at ANYONE'S house unless you have seen them several times before.

Thats like the numero un rule of online dating! Always meet at public places until you're comfortable.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 24
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Meeting at your house?
Posted: 3/26/2013 11:10:53 AM

Surely you recognize that women and men face significantly different risk levels in online dating right?

I know there's a perception that they do, but I don't know if its true. Do you have data that backs up this statement? If you do, I'll be happy to look at it and if it proves out, I will reverse my opinion.


I would give a woman all the information she required to feel comfortable meeting me

Excellent.

... my safety concerns are minimal. I can take care of myself.

I disagree that your safety concerns are "minimal", but it's great that you feel safe and confident of taking care of yourself.

Women are in a completely different realm of safety issues and guys should recognize that.

Most would agree with you, I'm sure.
 AdriaticMind
Joined: 3/7/2012
Msg: 28
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Meeting at your house?
Posted: 4/8/2013 1:43:33 AM
Never, ever invite a man you don't know to your home until you really feel that you know him somewhat and feel comfortable with him, especially if you live alone. Don't go to his home or get in his car, either. We women cannot be too careful, so please be careful! <3
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 29
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Meeting at your house?
Posted: 4/8/2013 2:00:40 AM
I have the same rule. I also let friends know all the info about the guy and where/what time we are meeting. That's to help the detectives try and track him down when the only trace they can find of me is one arm.
(Sorry, I watch alot of true crime shows)
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 30
Meeting at your house?
Posted: 4/8/2013 9:43:12 AM
Agree with liftnw8z2, the online machismo is over-the-top in this thread.
All people deserve a decent, honest, courteous, and fun dating experience.
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 31
Meeting at your house?
Posted: 4/8/2013 10:26:08 AM
ALWAYS meet in a public place. If he tries otherwise, he doesn't respect your right to feel safe and comfortable. Don't feel guilty about it either. Tell him to take a hike and find someone who cares about your feelings.
As to "taking care of yourself" there is some good male wisdom right up there^^^^^.
Listen and learn.
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 38
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Meeting at your house?
Posted: 4/11/2013 8:44:54 PM
NEVER let a man come to your house before you know him well enough! Oh my! dont be stupid! Tough if he doesnt like it, or would you prefer to be chopped up into tiny pieces after you have been raped? Or perhaps a stalker is more your style? In any case, he just wanted sex if nothing else...duh
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