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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!      Home login  
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 Samalama23
Joined: 3/17/2013
Msg: 1
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!Page 1 of 1    
So I went on what I thought was a great date, but have yet to hear about a date #2. Is it true that if a guy doesn't call you within 48 hours of a first date, that he's just not that into you??! So here's the date:

I got message on last Monday. We chatted via e-mail for one day. Then he said that he doesn't go on this website much and how he thinks it's a pain in the ass. So he gives me his number because I seem "cool" and he asks me to text him if I am "emotionally available." I do. We chat every day for a little while then he says we should get together soon. We go out Friday night after I get off work. He takes me to dinner and a comedy club. He pays for both even though I offer to help. He makes a lot of eye contact, asks a lot of questions...seems like a great date!

In the cab back towards his place he holds my hand and asks for a kiss on the cheek. I ask "what now?" He has to work late Saturday morning so he says we can call it a night or I can come up to his place and watch Argo, which we both haven't seen. In hindsight, I should've called it a night. BUT, I went up to his place. We watch the movie for about 10 minutes and then he starts to get frisky. He got a little drunk that evening. I did not. We make out and what not for a while and he tries for more, but I tell him it's not happening on the 1st date. He says okay and that he likes that and we make out some more. He starts falling asleep so I tell him I'm going home and he walks me to my car and we kiss goodnight and he says we will have to do something again soon, but no one makes specific plans to call the other. On my drive home, he texts me and says "Please drive safe...I'd like to see you again." I tell him that's cute and that I will and that I had a great time. He tells me to stop texting and driving and if he doesn't have a text/missed call from me in the morning, then he's calling all of the hospitals.

Flash forward to Monday night. I haven't heard a peep. I caved and texted him to thank him for taking me out (since I forgot to) and tell him I hope we can watch "X" movie (a goofy movie we talked about during our date-I'm too embarrased to say what it is) together sometime. He texts me back a few hours later saying "Haha. You're welcome. I can't wait to watch "X" movie!"

It's now Tuesday and I haven't anything else from him. I've also seen him on PoF every single day, multiple times a day. I expect him to be seeing other people. He's a good looking guy. But seems weird since he said he doesn't go on here much. I partially feel like he hasn't called because maybe he thought he was gonna get lucky and I didn't let that happen. So maybe he's moved on to an easier girl. But why bother not only making sure I get home okay, BUT saying he'd LIKE TO SEE ME AGAIN, if that was the case? What do you guys think? Is he playing games? Is he just not interested?
 Belluvthebawl
Joined: 2/19/2013
Msg: 2
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 4:37:04 PM
If a man wants to see a woman he is all over it like flies on garbage. Forgive my analogy....it's all I could think of. :)

Don't text him, don't call him, don't sent smoke signals, no e-mails, no POF messages either!!!

Time will tell. In the meantime, I do hope you have been chatting with a few other nice men.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 3
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No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 4:41:00 PM
Bad move on your part to go up to his place on a first date. Everybody knows what "wanna come up to my place" means. So it suggests you were willing to do something even though you weren't. If you wanted to be clear about not boinking some guy on the first date, the worst thing you could do is send a mixed message about it.

HOWEVER, I don't think it would have made much of a difference in the end. Men who are actually interested (for whatever reason) will make more of an effort let you know about it. Why wouldn't they when women are running away from them a LOT more than they're doing the opposite???

They're such simple-minded creatures. Their approach towards you is going to be completely utilitarian depending on whatever they want you for. He's not contacting you?? Well you didn't put out. Do the math!

If he wanted you for something more than you didn't provide on the 1st date, ipso facto he'd be in touch.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 4
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 4:51:51 PM
Samalama23, thank you for the inside information.
You two are going to love watching "TED" starring Mark Wahlberg plus the voice of Seth MacFarlane.
Hope the dating puzzle gets worked out, too.
 Samalama23
Joined: 3/17/2013
Msg: 5
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 4:54:57 PM
I definitely agree that I screwed things up by going up to his place. I was naive and didn't want the night to end and didn't bother thinking what my actions were saying. Dannnnng. I know in my gut that since he hasn't called, he's just not that into me. But sometimes a girl just needs to hear it said out loud by someone else. No worries! I won't be contacting him in any form.

Sucks that I'll never know what would've happened had I gone home that night immediately after our date instead. Guess this guy was just meant to be a lesson. Lesson learned! Thanks for the honesty.
 bubblyme13
Joined: 3/15/2013
Msg: 6
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No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 5:11:51 PM
Good thing about it: You know what you will definitely avoid next time. You won't go home with someone so quickly (please keep in mind it wasn't a smart move from the safety aspect as well!) AND you won't rely on texting only.
What is it today with all the texting instead of talking lol.

Good luck, you are beautiful and will hopefully be on your next date soon :)
 TheCoolGreenMoss
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 7
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No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 6:01:12 PM

maybe he thought he was gonna get lucky and I didn't let that happen.

Sounds like...


Sucks that I'll never know what would've happened had I gone home that night immediately after our date instead

On the contrary (IMO) - Sadly, I think you got (are-getting) a glimpse of what the future may likely have held. I could be wrong though.
 Jackals38
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 8
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No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 6:22:52 PM
Going up to his place on the 1st date, while not the best idea, certainly did not change anything one way or another. If he's a player just out for sex, not going up to his place wouldn't change the fact that he's a player and wouldn't necessarily get you a 2nd date. If he's a legit guy looking for a relationship, going up to his place wouldn't prevent you from getting a second date, especially since all you did was make out.

Honestly, a couple days is too quick too judge one way or another. He texted you back that he wants to see the movie, so just wait and see what happens. If you contacts you for a second date, great. If he doesn't, he probably just found someone else he'd rather date. Oh and the 48 hour rule is complete and utter nonsense, definitely don't go by that.
 Samalama23
Joined: 3/17/2013
Msg: 9
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 6:26:30 PM
You're absolutely right. It was a dumb move on many levels. At least I can learn from this and move on. I agree about the texting! The last guy I dated for a month and he never once called me! Always text! Have guys forgotten how to talk on the phone?! lol. Maybe I just need to stop dating 26-year olds!

Thanks for the kind words :-)
 GenericHipsterName
Joined: 3/22/2013
Msg: 10
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 6:30:12 PM
Honestly? If he didn't call you back, that's his own loss. You sound like a great person and a damn good catch.

I'd have called back any opportunity I got. But, I'm actually serious when I say I'd like to find a relationship.
Hope all goes well in future dates for ya. Just ignore the bad ones and don't lose hope!
 trankin5
Joined: 2/7/2013
Msg: 11
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 6:36:56 PM
eh some guys are just like that. Just don't become like most younger girls today and sleep with a guy just to get him to like you. Give him some time if you bombard this guy with texts and calls he will surley run the opposite direction. But
If a man wants to see a woman he is all over it like flies on garbage
very good analogy.
and op if he dosnt text you in the next day or two move on. BUT I hope it works out for you.
 boaterguy7
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 12
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 7:09:21 PM
Having read these forums for a while, I've come to a basic conclusion. Dirtbags get posted about, and the nice guys are at home on Friday nights reading about the dirtbags that quality women are drawn to. What can I say OP? You picked a guy who got plastered on your first date, and wanted to get a "little frisky..." Really sad....not all guys are like this.
 Tah,
Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 13
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 7:12:36 PM
So if i am reading this rite? he made it clear he wanted you to text him the next day, you waited 3 days..now after 1 day of no reply to you agreeing to watch a movie, your making a thread about it?

correct me if i'm wrong? but i see double standards..
 rockalternative23
Joined: 11/2/2012
Msg: 14
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 7:22:17 PM
Good looking guys have more options. It is good that you made a decision to uphold your values, but if the dude is good looking he probably has a girl who will put out. I would advise that you look onward toward more fish.
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 15
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 8:10:28 PM


If a man wants to see a woman he is all over it like flies on garbage. Forgive my analogy....it's all I could think of.


forgiven... but next time this one below, IMO, sounds better

If a man wants to see a woman he is all over her like a bear on honey :-)
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 16
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No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 8:33:50 PM
Not interested just move on.

Unless he doesn't have your number this is over haha. Either he felt you rejected him or that you are not compatible but I can see why his actions are very player-ish as well.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 17
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 9:10:32 PM
He gets drunk and tries to make it with you on the first date..and this is someone you want to see again?

I suspect he was trying to get some quick action..didn't, so he's blowing it off.

If you found this guy online, your odds of this being the scenario are almost 100%.

I've had plenty of "had a great time" sort of dates, not with the sex thing, but just nice first dates in general, then crickets. Who knows what it is people are looking for or expect. Most of the people I went out with are still online, years later...apparently no one is good enough or they are simply serial daters.

Plus I agree..do NOT contact him. Do not chase a man.
 AthatitaApudetat
Joined: 9/26/2012
Msg: 18
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/26/2013 11:35:43 PM
Op he is a dog and he has gone on to easier marks. Never second guess yourself. If it smells like crap it is crap. He thought due to his looks you would be an easy mark. At the same time he has several easy ones lined up, when you said no he moved to the next mark. You said no so that means he has to work for it and he knows others will give him what he wants without the work. He will come back after bordum or runs out of easy prey. Remember this one thing....The only differance between man and dog is a dog lifts his leg to pee.
 Truth556
Joined: 12/6/2012
Msg: 19
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/27/2013 12:02:05 AM
He sounds like a real winner.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 20
No call 48 hours after first date...not interested?!
Posted: 3/27/2013 2:00:08 AM
Why don't you just call him? Why read something into every little detail? Just call him. You'll know soon enough from his demeanour whether he is playing you or not.

I don't understand how you were comfortable enough to go to his house and make out with him, but don't feel confident enough to call him????
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