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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time      Home login  
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 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 2
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Asking out a girl who's going through a rough timePage 1 of 1    
It's never a good idea to ask someone out who's going through a rough time. First off they're vulnerable, usually, plus they tend to be clingy and needy. In other words, you're not seeing the true person in her normal state.

If you like this person, then just be her friend, listen and do what you can to help if you want to. Wait to ask her out until she's more on an even keel and has her life more in order.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 3
Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time
Posted: 3/29/2013 3:33:23 PM
I would ask the girl out and just you and her go out. The friend may have misunderstood where the gal is coming from. It sounds like the new gal is interest in you. Give her a chance to express herself. Good luck
 Just___Jim
Joined: 10/21/2012
Msg: 4
Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time
Posted: 3/29/2013 4:29:19 PM

Wait to ask her out until she's more on an even keel and has her life more in order.


Amen buc, as they are very needy etc, best wait till the dust is settled and they first get their house in order!

As you are only a added distraction till then. Near Healthy relationships start with near health relationships first, till then your just a temp band aid, and when their pain and heeling is over with their last ex etc then maybe it would be better to date,etc with them......jmo good luck
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 5
Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time
Posted: 3/29/2013 5:05:44 PM
I have doubts about what your friend is telling you because I think said friend is interested in you for herself. Maybe she never was previously, I don't know, but she's sure acting like it now.

So my inclination would be to disregard all of that, including not mentioning it, and pay attention only to the signals and communication you're getting from the girl herself. All of which says, "green light."

Go ahead and ask her out. She already basically asked you anyway! Twice, now. Just firming up plans is all that's left to do.
 QT3.18
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 6
Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time
Posted: 3/29/2013 5:22:11 PM
I don't know why, but I am suspicious of your friend's motives.

What your friend is telling you and the behaviour of this girl seem so diametrically opposed, that one of them can't be genuine.

What I would do in this instance is take your chances on the girl and let her tell you herself that she is not ready for anything, if that is indeed the case.
 CasOliii
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 7
Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time
Posted: 3/29/2013 8:43:01 PM
Ask her out, what's the harm?
 MsMaureenw
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 8
Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time
Posted: 3/30/2013 5:56:46 PM
From what you've said I think the girl really likes you and I'd ignore your friend's advice.

I'd also not talk to your friend about the girl anymore as I feel she is a bit jealous and may be trying to jade your opinion. Has your friend known her a long time? You indicate the girl just moved a few months ago. A lot of women meet new friends and then realize later they outshine them and are a bit vindictive if they receive more attention than they do.

I'd base your relationship on things said and done between the two of you and not an outside third party that could have held on to the rail in ice skating (if there was one) instead of you.

Ask her the girl what her intentions are for the short term future into long term, how she feels about past boyfriends and take it from there.
 NOCLOWNING
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 9
Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time
Posted: 3/31/2013 10:06:06 AM
I didnt read what other people had said.
But sounds to me, like your friend is jealous. These are the game's woman play.
Ask the woman out, leave your frined out of it. No 3rd party.
Go out alone, no friends.
Wish you the best of luck!!!!
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 10
Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time
Posted: 3/31/2013 10:26:13 AM

There was another event this weekend that I thought this girl and my friend who introduced us would like, so I mentioned it to my friend, but the plan fell through. Instead, however, the 3 of us went ice skating (my friend didn't know how to skate, so she ended up holding my hand the entire time while the other girl was off skating by herself


If I was that 'other girl' off skating by myself while you held hands and skated off with your 'friend', I would have wondered why I was even there? Just to serve as a 'wing woman' for the 'friend'? I don't get it. And I wouldn't date you. I think you already blew it. Your so-called 'friend' has an agenda, and it does not include you pursuing another woman. Open your eyes. She subtly insinuates that the 'other girl' is going through a rough time to keep you from being TOO interested in the 'other girl' and keep the focus on herself. (poor little me,I can't skate, hold my hand, you big strong man) haha Giant EyeRoll<
 Kellticman72
Joined: 1/5/2013
Msg: 11
Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time
Posted: 3/31/2013 10:42:26 AM
She seems to be interested in you so whats the harm in asking her out. Just don't try to rush into some kind of serious relationship. ENJOY THE DATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It may turn into something and it may not. On another note, I think your friend has seen you in a new light and may have a little crush on you also. If you have an interest in your friend thenaask her out on a date as well and see where that may lead. Dating is fun and is the only way to see who you are compatible with.
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 12
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Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time
Posted: 3/31/2013 11:38:35 AM
What Kellticam said

Women perceive things differently (no kidding, right :)) anyhow your friend may see whatever this young lady as going through as difficult and PERHAPS that is how young lady is relating this to friend...and maybe your friend has discovered she has a crush on you.

My vote - ask her out and see how it goes - another option is that it seems as though you hang out with a group of friends, is she part of this group? Group settings are a good way to get to know each oter
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 14
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Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time
Posted: 3/31/2013 5:30:14 PM
Really? You are not picking up signals that your friend is the one who is interested in you?
LOLOL-my brother had a female friend who told him the week before she married someone else that she'd always had a cruch on him. My brother told me and I laughed, because everyone in the world knew it---but him.
When I was in college, I had a crush on a guy. Ran in to him one night and we were just hanging out talking. He was complaining about some girl flirting with him at the Student Center and I asked what did she do? When he told me i said "I do that to you all the time!" ....."yeah, but you don't mean anything by it!"

Moral? Sounds to me like your friend is interested in you and you are not picking up on the signals. (BTW I've been ice skating. Even though I didn't know how, I didn't need to hold on to anyone's hand)
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