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 AUTHOR
 CasOliii
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 11
When to kissPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Go for it! Women are just as excitd for a kiss as you are!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 13
When to kiss
Posted: 4/5/2013 1:22:51 PM

Just didn't feel like there was ever a good moment.


Lunch dates? Both of them? Horrible. If you are going to do lunch, do it on the first, then have a dinner, or drinks date. If you do not drink, then whatever you want that is relaxing and you can talk and you are close enough to be able to touch each other. Yes touch each other. When you touch each other, kisses flow naturally. When you don't, then you're stuck with that awkward feeling and that nagging voice in your head saying "Is this the time to kiss her, Is this the time to kiss her?"

The beauty of touching or what I call a ping, it's that it rarely lies as to how the woman feels about you. If she is interested she will lean forward and touch as well. If she is not she will lean back, or even cross her arms. Another thing to do is stare her in the eyes. Well, not like some psychotic weirdo, but with depth and a sense of passion. If she reciprocates, you are about to kiss. If she looks away or tells you about her Excel spread sheet from work. Well, you get the picture.

Also a kiss should flow naturally. So set it up. So if you have touched some. Then move some hair out of her face. If she slightly closes her eyes and is receptive, she wants it. If she leans back, a little surprised is is not.

Personally, if I do not kiss by the end of the first date. I will not ask her out for a second date. End of story.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 17
When to kiss
Posted: 4/5/2013 7:01:45 PM
Wow, by now I would have assumed that the guy was not interested.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 18
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When to kiss
Posted: 4/5/2013 8:23:05 PM
I tend to do first meets, then the first date, so technicially I kiss on the "2nd date". But yeah holding out for the third date for a kiss seems counterproductive and risky too hold out to long.

You can still recover, but it seems like you should not worry about rules too much when it comes to dating.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 22
When to kiss
Posted: 4/6/2013 4:51:03 AM
Oh jeez.... I was on a 1st date this week and we met to shoot pool. A bar near her place has cheap tables. After our 2nd game the bar owner challenged me for the table. So I asked for a kiss for luck during the game and there it was. We've been kissing a lot more than that since.

Rules, forget the rules or make them up as you go. The more I read the forums the more I forgot how easy dating can be. If people would stop trying to make it so Dam hard, they'd find it isn't that hard at all....
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 23
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When to kiss
Posted: 4/6/2013 6:44:27 AM
I've been on two lunch dates with this girl and have a third date planned this weekend. ... Just want to make sure I'm not overthinking this, but now is appropriate to go for a kiss at the end of the date, right?

She is probably hoping you kiss her soon. She needs to know you are interested in her that way.

I agree with the posters who said that lunch dates and coffee dates are usually awkward for the first kiss. These venues don't create the right mood. A quick first kiss at my car (or in a car) feels clumsy, too.

If you want your first kiss to be memorable, then do your best to make it happen in a place where you are able to appropriately touch each other through part or all of the date, leading up to a kiss. During the kiss, she needs freedom of movement to put her arms around your neck and/or stand close and/or whatever she likes to do when kissing, which means a first kiss inside a vehicle is not ideal.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 24
When to kiss
Posted: 4/6/2013 7:00:35 AM

Rules, forget the rules or make them up as you go. The more I read the forums the more I forgot how easy dating can be. If people would stop trying to make it so Dam hard, they'd find it isn't that hard at all....


+1

God! Ask; don't ask. Kiss; don't kiss. Sex by the third date; no sex for 6 months; or maybe sex on the first date. Coffee; no coffee. Dinner only; no dinner. Man pays; man doesn't pay.

Enough with all these stupid rules! Do what works for you. Go on the kind of date that makes sense for your personalities, but for gawds sake kiss the girl or I am sure there won't be a fourth date!
 CyclistWill77
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 26
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When to kiss
Posted: 4/6/2013 11:11:47 PM
This begs the question, is a bad kiss just as bad if not worse than no kiss? I'll admit it, I'm not very good in this department.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 28
When to kiss
Posted: 4/7/2013 8:15:10 PM
This begs the question, is a bad kiss just as bad if not worse than no kiss? I'll admit it, I'm not very good in this department.


This is a fvcking excuse. Kiss. then go from there. If you are a bad kisser. You can only get better by practice. Kiss pull back. Look at her, look at her eyes, read her. Then go for what you want. Other than deep throat tongues. You will be fine. If you allow sh it like this in your brain. You will never kiss anyone. Fake it until you get it right. But just do it.
 Moon_Rocket
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 30
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When to kiss
Posted: 4/10/2013 6:33:39 AM
Oh for gawds sake! Listen to "outmind" best advice on here!

Ok, first it's cool to ask, forget the morons who say "man up etc"

Second, we all had to learn bro! But hey, the dating scene has changed, the big ol world has turned and the way guys connect has come down to a pretty simple system. Outmind is giving it to you complete as are others, but they are just throwing you, 'bits'

Truth? Doesn't matter coffee date, daytime meet, night drinks, dinner, Luna park, etc.

What matters is.....

You MUST initiate touch as Outmind says. He doesn't say how though, so I will. It goes something like this.....

Act INTERESTED. Forget those around you, LISTEN to what she is saying, TEASE her a little, " hey you probably do this sort of stuff all the time." "Hey listen just because we met up here don't think I'm easy ok, I'm a very placid person...as you can see!" Stuff like that may not suit your personality, but believe me, just fake it man till you become comfortable with it.

Start slow, touch her when emphasizing something, lightly touch her on the arm while saying something like "hey I got it!" or "Oh c'mon you,re just saying that!" Tell her fortune, kid that you can read palms, get her to give you her hand, say "aha!" and "oh wow, check out that lifeline!" Then admit you don't know a damn thing about reading palms and you just wanted to hold her hand! She will laugh, it will be funny, but she will also admire you for taking the initiative.

Forth, be a gentleman, pull her chair out, open the doors for her, old fashioned? Still important and very underrated in the dating stakes.

Lastly the dreaded kiss? Mate NEVER plan when you are going to kiss her! And don't leave it till you are saying goodbye. If you are touching her and escalating touching to holding arm, shoulder, hands, just.....look in those big eyes of hers and ....kiss her. Just pull her to you and do it! ASAP.

Here endeth the lesson. Good luck buddy.
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 33
When to kiss
Posted: 9/15/2013 4:23:27 AM
Any date is a kissable date! It's all in the body language. I usually just walk right up to her, hold out my hands, she usually reciprocates by reaching out with hers, take her by her hands pull her close to you and kiss her.....99.9% of my dates have gone this way. Now you don't have to worry the whole date about when you're going to try and kiss her...
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 34
When to kiss
Posted: 9/15/2013 10:01:09 AM
Gawd. I'm convinced POF has been taken over by high school teens or the pre-teens. I remember this topic being an issue at school dances, where all of the guys are standing at one end of the gym, looking at the girls standing at the other end of the gym, and the guys daring each other to go across the gym to ask a girl to dance and the girls wondering who is going to ask her to dance, hoping it will be the school jock. And when a guy is successful to get a girl to dance with him, everyone says "Did you kiss her?", which opens up another debate and dare. Then there's the topic here about buying a girl at a bar a drink, which is so far 9 pages long of debate. There's a section here called Over 45. There should be another section here for Under 25, where teen issues can be discussed ad nauseam.
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 35
When to kiss
Posted: 9/15/2013 12:31:08 PM
Teen dances....my uncle told me always dance with the ugly ones cause they'll let you feel them up a little....I came back from the dance and said "Uncle" I guess every girl there thought they were ugly, even the pretty ones.
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 36
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When to kiss
Posted: 9/21/2013 10:53:03 AM
I'm old now and tend to expect a kiss on the first or 2nd date, if I'm sure it's a date. Sometimes friendships can have blurry lines and it's not always possible to tell if the other person thinks it's a date. However, when I was younger the way to mentally turn me on was to ask if it was okay to kiss me. I married one of those. Did divorce him years later.
 KrazyChikk
Joined: 7/11/2013
Msg: 39
When to kiss
Posted: 10/9/2013 6:52:12 PM

When to kiss

I like to stick my tongue down his throat immediately upon introduction. Saves all the anxiety over the big question of 'when do I kiss her/him', and usually makes for a great date!
Yep...
 Moon_Rocket
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 40
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When to kiss
Posted: 11/26/2013 11:58:29 PM

I like to stick my tongue down his throat immediately upon introduction.


Geez Krazy where have you been all my life? "Throat to tongue, ready when you are!"
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 41
When to kiss
Posted: 12/4/2013 12:05:11 AM
I'm old now and tend to expect a kiss on the first or 2nd date, if I'm sure it's a date.

That's exactly it. Very very few will not want a kiss by the end of a 2nd evening Date, if they actually have interest in them. When the guy's nervous & chasing and doesn't want to blow it -- he's always going to think she's one of those very very few, when it always seems uncomfortable to go for one (usually by her subtle accord).

But you have to make SURE it's Actually a Date-Date. A 1st meet in the afternoon with a virtual stranger isn't a Date (it's a meetup). If you're surely on a Date, at the end of the evening, there should be no alarm or boundaries crossed by any means if he goes in for a kiss.

This begs the question, is a bad kiss just as bad if not worse than no kiss?

Great great question. First, a kiss will be bad if you're not a good kisser. It's not acrobatic or the skill of completing a 30 yard pass into double coverage. Bad timing? Sure.

To answer your (modified) question "Is never kissing a girl just as bad if not worse than an awkwardly timed kiss?" It IS worse than an awkwardly timed, imperfectly setting of a kiss. But if/when you are so worried about it, that could be You thinking the timing's bad because your fear of rejection/shunning.

You shouldn't have to Force it -- but what you do is lay out the setting where it can be had... like walking her to her car. If she's shying away and not wanting to kiss, in a day time date, OK. Or possibly a 1st date if her body positioning keeps a distance the whole time, etc. That communicates "I'm not that into you (yet?)". If you get a 2nd evening date, you then go in for it, Yes. It's better than never going for the kiss. If it's That difficult and you worry about scaring her by going in for a kiss because it feels So Not Right -- she's not into you. Either go in to kiss her, or discontinue seeing her immediately. :) (You should go for the kiss; don't be a chicken to potentially shunning)
 northwildwoodnjman1969
Joined: 9/18/2012
Msg: 44
When to kiss
Posted: 12/19/2013 6:02:45 AM
Stand behind her and put your arms around her. Start kissing her neck, then work your way around and up to her lips.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 45
When to kiss
Posted: 12/19/2013 4:12:15 PM

Stand behind her and put your arms around her. Start kissing her neck, then work your way around and up to her lips


We are talking about people who have not yet had a first kiss! Gawd if anyone had ever done what you describe prior to there being some kind of relationship, it would be the last kiss! How creepy.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 49
When to kiss
Posted: 12/20/2013 3:36:29 PM
"The guy has gotta go for the first kiss at least by the 3rd date."
Harmony, you gotta be kidding us, right?
Any man who doesn't want to lip-lock you needs to be checked for a pulse, and I don't mean after three dates :)
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 52
When to kiss
Posted: 12/21/2013 9:39:56 AM
Singlenarlington, maybe you and yourself should get a room with your post. Either that or keep that stuff between you and driving in an email. Probably posting what you did anonymously without a posters name on here would have been classier.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 54
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When to kiss
Posted: 12/21/2013 12:48:08 PM
I usually know when a kiss will happen by the feel of attraction between the two of us, and for the most part, women will let you know when they want that kiss, or even better when they will initiate it!!

Got to enjoy those assertive women that will let you know what they like, when, and then show you!!

cd
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 55
When to kiss
Posted: 12/22/2013 2:49:41 PM
on the phone, I would probably say something similar and end it with “as appealing as you are, I will not kiss on the first date, or put out (see what I just did there) and no matter how much you ask it will not happen (challenge set)”.

Actually, I have said something like this early on in a date where the gal had interest leading up to it and during it... she came forward about being apprehensive about guys and wanting too much, etc... so I did pretty much what you said... the way of conveying it + it being the challenge (while being the Opposite of pressure), made her go into turbo-charge mode at the end (think Piggy & Kermy). However, I could see that turning certain girls off a bit, so it's a bit of a (low-end) risk.

The original question "when"? Well, my uncle always said not to until you've "checked her oil" first. So when you walk her to her car, you slip your hands "down there" to check for things like hidden fupas, overgrown wool, and the like. If she starts strongly squirming, she's just testing you because women don't like weak guys, so you just hold her down from the backside and tell her to have patience -- and if necessary do the kiss then to ease the tension.

But I don't know if that was the wisest advice ever received from an elder...
 Lexti
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 56
When to kiss
Posted: 12/22/2013 3:02:09 PM
If there's a strong mutual attraction/connection, I'd expect a kiss on the first date. If I don't kiss you at the end of a first date, odds are slim to none that there's going to be a 2nd date. My guy was so nervous on our first date that he didn't want to chance messing anything up by trying to kiss me and moving too fast. I was itching to kiss him by the middle of the date! By the end of the night, I could wait on him no longer, and just grabbed his face and planted one on him.

If the vibes are good, go for it.
 RERE1026
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 58
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When to kiss
Posted: 12/24/2013 6:42:40 PM
WHEN TO KISS???????....My most memorable and best was just as we even met, this gentleman asked if it would be OK with me if I was willing to share a kiss meeting for the first time.....mind you we talked for months. In fact, we had two.....so European.....one on each cheek....after supper he got one on the lips when we parted to go home...after a year...he still gets those kisses, anytime he wants....JUST ASK!!!!!
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