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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > what was she doing?      Home login  
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 AGuy_4U
Joined: 11/29/2012
Msg: 1
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what was she doing? Page 1 of 1    
I’ve been talking to this lady for a while and we decide to meet. She suggests a local pub and we meet. Were talking, laughing, enjoying the evening. I notice she’s glancing behind me a lot. After a while I ask her what she’s looking at and she says, “I come here a lot and I want to see if I know anyone”. I’m thinking to myself…WTF? So I blow it off and about a half hour later she starts looking around a lot more (turning her head, looking behind her, looking behind me) at this point I getting annoyed, I figure she’s bored with me. So I politely say it’s getting a little late and I have to work tomorrow. She seems a little disappointed. I ask he if she wants to meet again and she says yes. What the heck is up with the “glance arounds” I figure she must be bored with me, yet she wants to see me again.

Talk to me; give me your thoughts on this.
 AGuy_4U
Joined: 11/29/2012
Msg: 2
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what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 11:10:27 AM
other then her rubber neck, we had fun. we have not set a second date, but we have been talking on the phone.
 Indira46
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 3
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what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 11:16:21 AM
Maybe she wanted to see someone she knew so she could show you off? Set a second date somewhere she is not a regular and see if you get her focused attention.
 OzzGirl22
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 4
what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 11:40:48 AM
Since she is keen on going out on another date my bet is that she was hoping to see some friends so that she could show you off.
She just was not very subtle about it.
 LeeleePhoenix
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 5
what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 12:08:47 PM
It might be nothing. I tend to look around a lot, also.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 6
what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 1:17:45 PM
Maybe she's attached/married and looking to see if anyone recognized her. She doesn't want anyone to blow her cover! Who knows!
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 7
what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 1:47:54 PM
I dunno, could it just be that she actually does know many of the regulars and was really looking to see if her usual crowd was entering the place?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 8
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what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 2:06:15 PM
Maybe she wanted her boyfriend/husband/ex to see her out with someone and get jealous. That does sound rude.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 9
what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 3:39:02 PM
Her behavior could be due to, any of the above. Or she wasn't/isn't actually interested and just can't admit it. Ask her out for another date and see what happens.
 Maid-merry-on
Joined: 3/27/2013
Msg: 10
what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 3:58:55 PM
Sounds to me like she was seeing if a certain "someone" was there...perhaps to make jealous by being there with you??? It's hard to say I wasn't there to see her behavior during your conversation but the glancing does also indicate she wasn't too into your conversation. If I am into someone I've dated I have constant eye contact and am in the conversation completely.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 11
what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 4:35:28 PM
Like others have said, there is a possibility she is paranoid about running into someone that she doesn't want to know about her dating - maybe a spouse, or an Ex, or maybe someone she works with.

Now if she is NOT from that area, and drove a ways to meet you - there's another possibility...
Some ladies invite along a 'wing woman'; a 'long-lost' friend that is supposed to 'show up' and get her out of the date if she doesn't want to be there. Usually they'll be at a coffee shop next door or sometimes in the next booth, phone at the ready waiting to get that "S.O.S." text. They step in and make up some excuse why she has to go with her to get out of the date. It's really cheap and manipulative to do that kind of thing, but it does happen.
 AGuy_4U
Joined: 11/29/2012
Msg: 12
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what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 4:53:37 PM

I have a tendency to be visually distracted by movement.
My SO gets frustrated with me at times when he's talking--if a gnat flies in my field of vision I'll impulsively swat it.
Or if I see movement I'll look toward it without being mindful that it's rude.


Like the T-Rex maybe her eye site was based on movement. maybe I should have jumped up and down and waved my arms around?
 EyesRgreen_62
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 13
what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 6:21:07 PM

Brought along a wing-woman ... It's really cheap and manipulative to do that kind of thing, but it does happen.


In this day and age and with the horror stories we hear about online meetings gone awry, I do not feel it is cheap nor manipulative to bring a friend along just in case. I always make sure my best girlfriend knows exactly where I am when I meet a guy for the first several times. Safety first ... and if a guy is on the up and up, he'll understand. I've not actually brought along a friend but I would not be beyond doing so.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 14
what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 8:48:41 PM

Maybe she wanted her boyfriend/husband/ex to see her out with someone and get jealous.

That's what I'm going with, most likely a very recent ex who's a regular there. The kind of looking described is what people do when they're expecting someone, and also, when that's a higher priority than the person they're with.
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 15
what was she doing?
Posted: 4/5/2013 11:10:11 PM
Cheap and manipulative is a great description.First of your pulling someone in to help you
because you don't screen your first meets very well not to mention you can't find the strength to tell someone
that it was nice meeting you But I don't think we're a match.That in itself says that are you are one to string
someone along with a yes a about another date then disappear .
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 16
what was she doing?
Posted: 4/6/2013 3:52:17 AM
I don't know what she was doing. You asked her what she was doing, and she told you. I think the real question is why did you perceive her explanation as inadequate? So you didn't believe her; now she's not only bored with you, but a liar as well.

Alright then. It sounds to me like maybe her social skills ain't exactly at the Queen's level, but I have to wonder how much you're overstating the problem because if really bothered you *that* much then why would you ask about a second date? You brushed it off before but then you couldn't stop wondering about her craning neck?? If she does it once you'll let it slide, but twice is unforgivable? So did she spend all of 5 or 10 seconds looking around the room too much a couple of times, or was she at it for like 2 minutes at a stretch? While chewing food and scratching herself?? I don't understand but I'm looking forward to the update on your next encounter.

I suggest a different restaurant, since this one seems to be a source of social anxiety for both of you. :o)
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