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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Education and Career... Why ?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 mike12620
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 1
Education and Career... Why ? Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I see many profiles here of women always listing "preferences" related to education and career and I can never understand to seem why really. To me your education and career is something that completely has nothing to do with chemistry or compatibility. It is something personal to you. I can understand asking someone what they do, but why make it a necessity. To me I am a little put off by women who have this requirement.

I would like to see how everyone feels ?

Also the women here you can chime too because I would think men might place similar demands I only said women b/c I am looking only at women profiles.
 QT3.18
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 2
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 7:51:21 AM
You listed wanting an educated woman in your profile. If education has completely nothing to do with chemistry or compatibility, why is it in your profile?

:)
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 3
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 7:55:21 AM
Although I do not have such preferences listed on my profile, after being on here a few months, I can understand why some would. Although I do not think a certain profession makes someone compatible, sometimes the lack of education and life experience can play a role. I personally have dated men who do not have a college education, yet they are intelligent and worldly because of their work or life experiences. Lets just say for example it was you OP that had a master's degree and you came from an upper middle class lifestyle, have traveled and you have many life experiences. How much in common would someone who did not finish high school, has never left their hometown and lacks the life experiences you do have? Life experiences can sometimes make or break compatibility. For example, lets say you are intelligent and have traveled the world, learned to treat differences as new ways to learn and you start dating someone who feels differences are scary. How compatible are you now? Many people are attracted to and feel more comfortable around others who share similar life experiences. Some people can actually look beyond mere sexual attraction and seek something more meaningful. I personally would rather be with someone who has experiences life and can add to my life, not someone who knows nothing of the world outside their hometown. In the end,compatibility goes way beyond looks. JMHO
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 4
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 8:07:36 AM
I would challenge your conclusion that education and career have nothing to do with chemistry or compatibility. These things have a lot to do with what type of person you are and what your lifestyle is like. It shouldn't surprise you or put you off that people consider these traits to be valuable and seek them in others.
 Akatsukami
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 5
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History
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 8:09:51 AM
Well, "chemistry" is easily -- even logically -- translated as "hormone-induced infatuation", so we need not spend ant time pretending that it's meaningful.

As to compatibility -- how could such things not be related to it? Granting that "education" these days can again be translated as "spending enough money to get a meaningless diploma in a meaningless 'field of study'", and that more genuine education takes place outside of academe that in it, can we imagine that two people whose educations are truly different can be genuinely compatible? To take an example: I have not been educated to speak any language but English; do you suppose that I can find true compatibility with a woman who speaks only Mandarin (or she with me, for that matter?) Likewise if talking about the minutiae of my profession is a MEGO-level drone to a woman, does that not close off one more topic of conversation? And if enough are closed off, does that not limit our conversation to my desire to get her into my bed, and her desire to stay out of it?

The notion seems about 50% related to the"chemistry" yivshish and50% to the notion that there is some noumenal "me", unrelated to my height, weight, grooming, income, etc. (and which, of course, women should find fascinating).
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 6
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History
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 8:20:38 AM
I think you have completely missed the point of all of those things in the profiles.

In addition to the likely fact that some of them were put there to have something to fill out the page, or because the site creators saw them on all the other sites, the more significant insight is, that EVERYTHING about a person shows at least some small facet of their lives.

Apparently you are not aware that where you are going, and at what speed, affects the entirety of your character and of how much of a cross section of your life you have available to share with someone else.

Think about it more carefully, in greater detail. You can figure this out yourself, if you first thrust away from you, the prejudiced thoughts that you got from cheap TV shows, and the junkier movies, and your own fears and resentments.

Everything can matter. Anything can matter.
 TheSereneGreenthumb
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 7
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 8:22:28 AM
I packed on 8 years of university, two degrees and a diploma, but you might never guess it meeting me. My personal life is very physical and outdoors-oriented.

Listen, when it comes down to it, we all get old and decrepit. One day I might not be able to hike the greatest distances that I did in my twenties. If I can't talk to you on the same level or access similar experience or intellectual depth, you might as well just be another friend.

This is a NOT a stereotype: For those who aspire to a long term goal (whatever that is), they're usually operating on an entirely different sphere than those who aspire for nothing. The key words here are growth and aspirations.
 Midwest_Southwest
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 8
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 9:30:23 AM

To me your education and career is something that completely has nothing to do with chemistry or compatibility. It is something personal to you. I can understand asking someone what they do, but why make it a necessity. To me I am a little put off by women who have this requirement.


Why are you put off by it when you’ve emphasized it in your own profile? I’m so confused!

I’d assume that they also have formal education and career, or are working toward them, and want a partner with a similar perspective and goals, so that they understand each other.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 9
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History
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 10:08:43 AM
My most interesting conversations have been with women that have totally different backgrounds. Either a higher education obtained than I, or lower. I personally don't understand the need to find someone with a similar/same education level if you simply can connect with someone. Regardless of diploma's and degrees, people are people no matter what. Just take time to listen and share stories.




IMHO, an educated person (bachelor's degree or better) has the higher probability of finishing something, even if they have a liberal arts degree. If you've only completed high school or obatained a GED, they may not feel you are compatible with their life goals.


A degree doesn't necesarily show a person's commitment or ability to formulate long term goals. If woman A went straight into the military out of high school versus woman B that obtained a liberal arts college degree. More than likely I am inclined to believe woman A has a wider skill set than woman B and deal with life goals more pragmatically.

Also, obtaining a liberal arts degree would leave a nagging concern in the back of my mind that they don't have a clear idea what they want out of life either. Most college students I encounter with liberal arts degrees as their declared major are unsure of their future employment goals once they graduate as well.

 Midwest_Southwest
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 10
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 10:31:26 AM

Also, obtaining a liberal arts degree would leave a nagging concern in the back of my mind that they don't have a clear idea what they want out of life either. Most college students I encounter with liberal arts degrees as their declared major are unsure of their future employment goals once they graduate as well.


Perfect example! I have a liberal arts undergraduate degree, and lots of people don’t see the value of that. Fair enough. Looking back, the men I dated who also had liberal arts undergrad degrees understood why I’d followed that path, and they valued it. My husband got an engineering degree at a liberal arts college, so he too saw value in getting a liberal arts degree. He even took classes in medieval intellectual history and modern art. Those are the men I've been most compatible with.
I’m not implying that there is right or wrong here. Its just nice to be with someone who “gets” you.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 11
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 10:33:16 AM
I am more compatible with educated men. They are more likely to enjoy art, literature, theater and music with me. Witty banter, sparkling eyes and keen intelligence are downright sexy to me.
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 12
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 11:21:56 AM
just as important it is for a man to communicate with women only if they have pics. For many women a man's education and career is equally important
 wherever_may_go
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 13
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 11:24:00 AM
They may say they care about career and education but when it boils down to it, it's all looks. I highly doubt somebody with a blank profile speaking about their career will get any responses. Welcome to the shallow world. It's a reality.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 14
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 11:47:11 AM

They may say they care about career and education but when it boils down to it, it's all looks.

I disagree. My ex-husband was a brilliant, funny medical doctor who looked like a redheaded troll. He was endlessly hilarious and fascinating.

A handsome local man is interested in me."I'm the handsomest man in the room," he insists. Yawn. Dumb as a rock, he loudly postures himself as an expert in everything. (Get the hook.) I have zero interest in him.
 wherever_may_go
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 15
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 11:50:57 AM
I'm talking online specifically. Nobody is going to message somebody they find unattractive. Unless you're only looking for friends and you're not shallow in that regard. But that's almost impossible to find these days
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 16
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 11:55:14 AM
To be honest...
I find most women's preferences silly.
(extremely)

If my qualities are not what they are seeking...
I give em no thought.

cus happiness is being
preferred.
:-)
 tooborednow
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 17
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 12:48:21 PM

Education and Career... Why ?

Because those are things being pushed by society as important.


education and career is something that completely has nothing to do with chemistry or compatibility.

Everything about a person has some level of relevance to chemistry and compatibility.


It is something personal to you

That's like saying "well, they never do heroin around me, so it's just something personal to them and doesn't affect anything."


why make it a necessity.

Everyone has necessities.
Some make it a necessity the other person is a member of the opposite sex.
People have come to their own conclusions about who and what they are attracted to, and what they are going to look for in order to spot them.


To me I am a little put off by women who have this requirement.

Then you simply have an unwritten requirement, something you didn't put in your profile (I assume, I didn't look at your profile).
You have a negative emotional reaction according to something you identify as a symbol.
So you will more than likely be pushed towards avoiding them than pursuing them.
Which is going to put off some women as soon as it's known.


I would like to see how everyone feels ?

I feel a little bloated. I ate some nachos I shouldn't have last night, after 10, and the salt in the chips was a little much. I need to go get some bananas and hopefully the potassium will help me out.
Other than that I feel okay, thanks for asking.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 18
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 12:57:56 PM
OP, I do go entirely with charliesmom21 on this issue.

It's not the particular profession or any particular formal education, but compatibility and common grounds and with that outlook on life and lifestyle.
 _Meta_Man_
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 19
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 2:35:50 PM
Education and careers have a lot to do with intellectual and emotional development....
 Orionthehunter9
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 20
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 2:56:54 PM
^^^

I can agree with that. Ile go further and say conversing with an uneducated person on a daily basis can be somewhere between monotonous and a chore. And uneducated people are far more likely to be confused by the directions on their birth control.

It's all what you know and what you're comfortable with. Believe it or not, some like to be intellectually challenged.
 SaltLG13
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 21
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 3:33:06 PM

I'm talking online specifically. Nobody is going to message somebody they find unattractive. Unless you're only looking for friends and you're not shallow in that regard. But that's almost impossible to find these days


Yes they will get messages ,you are missing the point .Is not about attraction here, is all about MONEY .
BTW, I meet one of those'' high educated'' guys from this site (he knows himself ), he asked me where I am from and I said : from Europe . He goes ''oh, so you speak European also ''?
 RTMomof3
Joined: 4/3/2013
Msg: 22
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/8/2013 7:49:41 PM
Everyone is different, that's why.

Personally, as long as someone has their own means of support and isn't a bum living off his parents or something like that and he can carry on a decent conversation about something other than the UFC or pro wrestling, that's good enough for me.
 OrdinaryMan66
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 23
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/8/2013 8:37:11 PM
People who prefer other people have an "education" are just advertising their preferences. Like everything else, there is no guarantee that someone outside their stated preference zone will not be compatible or have chemistry. These folks are simply limiting their potential pool of suitors, which they are of course free to do. I am reminded of the comedy series Frasier, where Niles, who was in a crappy, loveless marriage with an educated society gal, was really helplessly in love with Daphne.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/8/2013 9:24:11 PM
OP...Why doesn't everyone just take a random number and throw it in a hat and pick a mate that way?
I'm not a robot but a thinking human being. I don't need to apologize for expecting a potential mate to have certain qualities and to have achieved a level of success in society. I found my man after seeking what I was after. He is fit , cultured and educated. I want someone I can share a healthy lifestyle with who has interests beyond football, motorcycles and pizza.
 The_Curvy_Doll
Joined: 12/14/2012
Msg: 25
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/9/2013 8:51:31 AM
Because a man's education and earning power (in other words, his status) has a lot to do with how high is value is perceived by women. If he has a high income job it is to his benefit to advertise that because it can compensate for other areas that he may be lacking, such as height and facial attractiveness. It's the same way that women are largely valued by their physical appearance. I am not saying a man's job and a woman's appearance are the only things that matter, but they are certainly noted during the attraction phase.
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