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 AUTHOR
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 2
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
It's great that you feel that way, many people feel the same - especially women, to judge by what's written in the forums. It's good that you found out, now all you need to do is stay true to what works for you.

Also, don't feel guilty for "using" the woman. She came with you willingly enough, so she wasn't used any more than you were. If she was expecting "something more" and trying to get that through her lady parts, that's her issue and not yours.
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 3
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 3:37:20 PM

Some People need a connection and emotions to have sex with a partner. One night stands are a selfish act. Sharing yourself is a very intimate thing.


^ this statement is very important (if it is true).
It illustrates the difference between you and some sex addict/narcissist who just wants to 'play' women for his own needs.

Here's the real advice.

Quit listening to your "friends", and seek what you truly desire; a meaningful relationship with a worthy person; but don't limit yourself to on-line dating, where the pickings are few and the dissapointments are plenty!
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 4
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 3:39:00 PM
.......and your point is??????????????

I think the vast majority of people out here have the same viewpoints as yourself.....there are many threads on here addressing that very issue.

Of COURSE your guy friends are going to tell you to just go out and get laid.....as if THAT would solve any of your issues of your wife leaving.
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 5
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 4:14:55 PM
Glad you learned this lesson at the age of 49. better late than never !
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 6
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 4:26:09 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

+1
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 8
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 4:32:16 PM
Casual sex leaves me feeling empty and sad. I also need an emotional connection. Good for you for realizing that.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 9
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 4:37:19 PM
If it didn't take a lot of coaxing, she was using you, too. I wouldn't feel bad about that if I were you.
 _Passion4life
Joined: 2/23/2013
Msg: 10
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 4:41:56 PM
The sex with that person was SH*TY, so move on..... People stay in sexless relationships ALL THE TIME, (I dont get it). Good sex has the power to make some people Stuck on stupid and parked on dumb...... You may need to up ur sex game.....
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 11
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 4:51:24 PM
When my husband left me, I began wondering if there would ever be any other man who would want to be with me. I went to the online dating sites, mostly to see who was out there and maybe stick my little toe in the water. I don't know. Got emails from some creeps. But there was one man I started chatting with alot. We did eventually spend a weekend together. It was just a fling for each of us. No emotions involved not even for lust or whatever on my part-though I will say he gives the most amazing massages ever. I don't do things like that. One night stands, flings, casual sex, is not for me. But that one time I didn't and don't regret. We still talk now and then but he doesnt live very close and we both have other things going on. Right or wrong morally, it was what I needed at the time and it was the right time and I think the right person.
I think though that this is a very personal and individual thing. Different for each person and each situation
 Brightfunnyguy4u
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 12
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 4:52:35 PM
don't feel bad ,,alot of women like you feel the same way,,it is nothing to be ashamed about ,,,,,,,,women need that intimate connection in order to enjoy sex and feel empty and used when they do decide to just bang a guy they barely know,,,then they come on here and describe ,,,like you,,how used and empty they feel

just go pour yourself a nice bubble bath,grab some bon bons and wine and have yourself a good cry:)
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 13
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:01:53 PM
I thought you met the Barbie at the pool hall and it was all getting rowdy?
Hmm, I must be lost
 _Passion4life
Joined: 2/23/2013
Msg: 15
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:08:43 PM
Brightfunnyguy4u......TOOO FUNNY!!!!!! I bout peed my self!!!!!
 CallmeKen
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 16
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:11:48 PM

I’m currently dating and happy.

Then why does your profile state that you're still looking for a relationship?

One of the best nights of my life was a one night stand. She was travelling west. I was going east. We shared a night together. We both understood that it could only be one night. We both wanted it. I didn't feel empty, used or the user. It was just an oasis for two people who both needed some caring. I have no regrets.

One night stands are not selfish if both parties go into it with honesty, maturity and without expectations. It's rare, but it happens.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 17
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:17:24 PM
You know more used her than she used you, lots of people like casual sex with strangers. If you don't like it, don't do it again, no reason to backhand slap other members with some preaching. No one made you do this, but now you know, it's not for you.
 SpringMataLeao
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 19
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:41:27 PM
its all about pheromones brother..if a woman knows sees other women attracted to you, they sometimes become attracted to you..even if you are ugly or overweight.
 AnEvilGenius1
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 20
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:45:27 PM
My history on sex:

It felt good and it only got better, and I don't know if I'm as good once as I ever was, but I do know there is always room for improvement.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 21
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:53:58 PM

I'm new hiding your profile doesn't work? it's been 5 weeks ....


OP, the people on the forums can still see your profile. If you are no longer looking, then you need to edit your profile to say so.
 Brightfunnyguy4u
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 22
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 7:15:15 PM

Brightfunnyguy4u......TOOO FUNNY!!!!!! I bout peed my self!!!!!


what? (picture Howie Mandell from the 90's face) :)
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 23
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 9:43:49 PM

One night stands are a selfish act. Sharing yourself is a very intimate thing.

What if you got together again a few days later? Would the first night still be selfish one-night-stand? Are you more generous the second time? Why wait til then?
 shine1274
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 24
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/11/2013 10:00:27 PM
OP, I can relate. I never felt guilt, but I understand that hollow feeling. You feel worse after than if it never happened at all. Some will never get it. Fu@ck 'em!
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 25
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 3:37:14 AM

If it didn't take a lot of coaxing, she was using you, too. I wouldn't feel bad about that if I were you.


Probably not if she had quite a few drinks in her system.......that's how a lot of that sh*t happens - alcohol DOES lower inhibitions........


You know more used her than she used you, lots of people like casual sex with strangers. If you don't like it, don't do it again, no reason to backhand slap other members with some preaching. No one made you do this, but now you know, it's not for you.


I agree......and I don't know about you, but I am still wondering what the point of this thread is..........

Kinda makes me wonder if it is yet another TROLL!
 Deepseaceecee
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 26
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 4:01:30 AM
I wonder why a woman would do that with a stranger? I guess boredom, alcohol or loneliness make strange bedfellows Not to mention STDS.... However empty sex feels empty full stop. Casual sex is okay when you are young I guess but if you mature and evolve, most of us want more. I am not interested in sex without friendship and a level of intimacy. Orgasms we can do alone after all.
 varyk
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 27
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 4:18:32 AM
Peer pressure!! Not just a adolescent phenomenon. One would hope that adults we should be able to our own stand our own ground. Seems you had a weak moment and maybe did something you later regretted. But guess what? That's okay, because you are only human. And we all make mistakes, some more than others, but there is a redeeming hope for you yet as you were still able to reflect on your own experience and behavior. Don't be so hard on yourself!
 ilikepushups
Joined: 12/6/2012
Msg: 28
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 4:27:37 AM
What the hell did I just read.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 29
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 5:25:05 AM
Op, I'm sorry for your loss of your wife. I 100% agree with your feelings of the sex act with no feeling for the person. Many will tell their friend such things, but they are not feeling what you are. It takes time to get over all of the hurt. Some people never do.

Try and keep busy and do the things you enjoy. Maybe spend time with family, friends,church groups, single dances and don't jump into anything until your ready. Maybe tell your friends that now is not the time. Hopefully they will respect that. If or when the time comes you will know.

Good luck and best wishes to you.

Edit to add. I only read your post thread and not the other post here. I'm glad you found a. Gal.
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