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 ben1731
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 2
Learned my lesson dating a single parent Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
you should have ignored her thats why alot of blokes wont date single mothers its a miracle her husband was looking for a fight with you you better off dating a woman with no kids .
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 3
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/14/2013 12:01:51 AM
If you've "learned your lesson" why are you considering going to her party? Why are you having anything to do with her after she brought her husband on your date?
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 4
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Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/14/2013 3:10:07 AM
Don't go to the party.

You will save yourself a whole lot of drama and issues if you just delete her number.
 Advwench
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 5
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/14/2013 1:31:31 PM
Ok, someone explain it to me like I'm 5...

What does her having two children have to do with ANY of what the OP said happened? How is this a lesson learned because of dating a single parent?
 Advwench
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 7
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/14/2013 2:13:16 PM
I get all that. Your thread title gives the impression that you had an issue with this woman BECAUSE she was a single parent and have now learned your lesson to never date one again.

The fact that this woman has kids didn't cause problems... the fact that she still has a husband did ;)
 shes_the_one
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 9
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/14/2013 5:09:48 PM

OP avoid single moms altogether because yes you will come after everyone else.


It seems you are all over the forums still spreading your negativity. But, speaking as a single parent, why here? Why come to a forum where so many of the "baby mamas" are? Is there any place on these forums us single parents can go without your negative comments or insults?
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 10
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Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/14/2013 11:35:47 PM
I agree that this shady chick's behavior has nothing to do with her being a parent and the whole ordering thing, wtf? Sounds like you got conned and if not, why not explain why ex was there. And I agree about the car thing, that is something that has come up with my ex, I've wound up driving him if his car was in the shop and he's done the same for me, primarily because the kids need wheels to get to school but if I worked outside the home I'm sure we'd figure out the transportation issues because neither one of us have family anywhere near close.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 11
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Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/15/2013 12:00:04 AM
WTF dude!!! First you say:


I helped out with something and I met up with her in a public place twice (without her husband). At that time she would make herself available. Just a small favor. The third time we met up she brought guess who? Her husband! Kinda a suprised me because the first two occasions she didn't bring him.


Then you say:


The third time, left this out, something was wrong with her car. She then had her husband pick her up.


Which was it? She shown up with her husband or she called him later?
How can you possibly get any kind of sound advice from us if you change your story. You didn't leave something out, you totally changed the facts.



For the bday party I will just stop in to say happy bday and not stay. I have no reason to be upset really. I've decided to cut my contact, but keep it strictly platonic. No calling her etc. I will look elsewhere. My old way would be to be chasing her.


That make no sense at all. Either you keep in contact or you don't.
What does this have to do with her having 2 kids?
Your problem is, you are dating a married woman that has not finished business with her husband.

Frankly, I don't even know why you are asking for our thoughts, you are determined to stay in this woman's orbit despite what we all say.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 12
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Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/15/2013 12:03:05 AM

seems you are all over the forums still spreading your negativity. But, speaking as a single parent, why here? Why come to a forum where so many of the "baby mamas" are? Is there any place on these forums us single parents can go without your negative comments or insults?


Agreed.
She's not a very nice person. Don't even know why she's on POF and not E-Harmony or Christian mingle.
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 13
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/15/2013 6:16:13 AM
WTF were these items that you ordered for her and why can't she order them herself? Did she pay you with sexual favors? Did she pay you at all?

Sounds like she may be looking for a threesome or a sucker....
 Kigstar
Joined: 2/6/2013
Msg: 14
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Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/15/2013 7:33:08 AM
this whole thing sounds strange!
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 15
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/16/2013 4:57:41 AM
Ppl who say don date ppl with kids- ok number one it a public site I everyone can express their concern. Number two if ones got screwed by single parent the post definitely fits under single parents forums. N number 3 u guy put lot of shit about alimony n kids problems on here wtf with that it's dating site not parent to parent site half of those who front belong together n should be delited bc unless it relates to dating it should t be here. I also say single parent - I Ron far n fast. N it does belong here bc it relates to the subject It's my opinion n I'm entitled to it
 NateAMFYOYO
Joined: 10/28/2012
Msg: 16
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/16/2013 5:32:06 AM
She brought her husband on a date? Who the F@#$ does that?! And why on earth would you have ANY interest in anything to do with this lady?!
 reboot1010
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 17
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Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/16/2013 6:20:20 AM
LOL

Go for it! What could possibly go wrong?
 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 19
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/16/2013 5:02:47 PM
And this is the reason why I don't date 'separated' or 'newly divorced' ppl! They have way too much baggage to sort through.

In my honest opinion, lose her number, block her emails and don't even think about going to her bday party. Seriously, we're on this dating websites to date ppl. Not become friends!
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 20
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Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 4/20/2013 8:50:46 AM
I agree with the others that this has nothing to do with her being a single parent. I have dated lots of single moms and it has not been a problem at all. It helps that I am a single parent and am understanding of the issues around it. Maybe I wouldn't be without the experience.

Going to her birthday party? That is a terrible idea. At best you are firmly friend zoned. At worst you will get her husband's drunken fist in your mouth or an ice pick in your neck. I don't see any benefit to you going to her house for this party.

This situation is no good. Don't use it as an excuse to slag on single moms. They are awesome. You just have to understand their commitments to their family.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 21
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 5/3/2013 1:46:52 PM

According to these people only parents should be here. After reading all their drama I can see why I avoid them as they are not good people to date. I would never date a man paying child support and alimony, especially if he is complaining about it. Why these people think childless would want them is beyond me.


I think the feeling is mutual. They probably wouldn't want to date you, either---especially if they wanted another child some day. By the time you get married, it will be too late for you to have them. I think the reason you're in here harassing the single parents is because you're resentful of them. It's just sour grapes.
 jengerflower
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 22
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 5/3/2013 5:08:53 PM

I am not jealous of single parents, I feel sorry for them. Those with out of wedlock children just disgust me.


I find hypocrites disgusting, so I guess we're even.
 1971D
Joined: 10/7/2012
Msg: 23
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Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 5/3/2013 9:58:41 PM
Newwave - you have got to be the most judgemental individual I have ever had the displeasure to read writings from. Why would your trolling ass be on a single parents forum? You despise single parents and make no excuses for it. It's pathetic really, that you feel the need to go into a forum you know you have nothing to do with simply to spread your venom.

Go have fun with who or whatever you found offline. Or don't have fun. I really don't think your indoctrinated ass actually knows how.
But just go.
 1971D
Joined: 10/7/2012
Msg: 24
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Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 5/4/2013 2:44:48 AM
Paying for illegitimate children with your tax dollars.
Are you ever loving KIDDING me???

With all the ridiculous bullshit our tax dollars go for THAT'S the one that bothers you? Paying anything for kids? Wow!! Your priorities are SO incredibly fvcked up it is mind blowing. What about paying local taxes for fire services? Does that bother you because you don't use them too?

You are seriously delusional. You have said it isn't the child's fault, god loves them. How about that statement you hypocrite?

No wonder you have never had a relationship and are still a virgin!!! Your personality is so completely abhorrent no one could stay around you long enough go de-hymenize you! Much less marry you.

Btw... before you even TRY to judge ME - I was married for 18 years and never had children. I left because he was abusive. Ok... go!

Wow, you just make me want to smack you! Would love to hear your stand on gays...
 Vesta_ceres
Joined: 4/5/2013
Msg: 25
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 5/4/2013 5:17:17 AM
I am judgmental because I am tired of paying for the illegitimate children with my tax dollars while some of you troll dating sites for more kids.


I am a bigot when it comes to extreme bigots.

I had a child two weeks after my 18th birthday. I was in a domestic partnership, working, and I was legally emancipated in the two years prior to my giving birth. (In Massachusetts, they called this a common-law marriage, as I was with him for this amount of time.) I also received a GED in that time, but I was also self-taught and more knowledgeable than the people who attended high school for four insufferable years in the crap-shoot of a community in which we lived.

When my child was born, I gave her my father's surname and her father's surname; and her father signed the birth certificate "legitimizing" the relationship he never had with his child. He also emotionally and physically abused me, so I left him, and took on welfare because he also decided he wasn't going to support his child when my own income wasn't enough for rent and necessities. I further educated myself and started working in human services and worked my way fairly swiftly and in one felt swoop off the kind social services of my society. I have given back to the kind society which invested in my and my family early in our trials; I volunteered, served the under-served, and contributed to my society with my (paltry) tax contributions.

(My daughter is at the top of her class in college and she is studying Psychology. My son is a musician and wants to become an engineer. They have high morals, are without religion by choice, and are more conservative than me.)

After working, and then moving out of state and owning and running a very small business in a state which was not my own but that kindly hosted me and my family, I traveled abroad, got married, and became pregnant with my second and last child. I traveled quite a bit; I gained a broad world-view; and further educated myself. My children were always surrounded by some form of academia -- because of my observance and respect for it. We are also a family who is conscientious about the environment, animals' rights, people's rights, and so on. The fact that you despise children for parents' perceived and alleged irresponsibility absofuckinglutely disgusts me.

These were my responsibilities and I never used my service or my work ethic to shit all over people who are struggling. (God knows I struggled terribly -- but I didn't come to forums, to blame people for being poor.) I also never complained about having to struggle without the crutches of my family. I made some life-long friends along the way. Albeit I only have five trusted friends, but I've know them all for at least two decades. The rest are acquaintances and people with whom I am friendly, but at least I know who my friends are, and I cherish them. (I don't need a crowd to worship or praise me or admire me; I admire and respect myself, and this is all that matters.)

By the way, I took on a faith when was I was 35. Albeit it was after a trying period, in my life, but I had studied it for the two years before I accepted the responsibility of practicing it. I didn't change me as a person because I was already a formed and whole person before I accepted it. And, I was always spiritual, so the faith allows me to gain another perspective on my life and I am not a mindless devotee who is self-deluded that it can bring me respect and freedom; this I have already.

Not bad for a former "welfare hoe," isn't it?

I also have a responsibility to myself and my children and others, to deal with my problems and my frustrations constructively, in a logical, intellectual, and non-violent manner. I don't practice denigrating somebody's value and self-worth (or little of it) to feel better about my situation, which you have done so liberally and fragrantly, in these forums.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 26
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 5/4/2013 8:17:28 AM


I am not jealous of single parents, I feel sorry for them. Those with out of wedlock children just disgust me.


(jengerflower) I find hypocrites disgusting, so I guess we're even.


*knock-knock* OPEN UP, IT'S THE GRAMMAR POLICE!!!

He would only be a hypocrite if he said, "Those with out of wedlock children just disgust me.", but had out-of-wedlock children himself. "Hypocrite" is not a synonym for "cruel, small-minded and just nasty", so stop using it as such.

You're welcome.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 27
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 5/4/2013 8:21:43 AM

(1971d) Paying for illegitimate children with your tax dollars.
Are you ever loving KIDDING me???

With all the ridiculous bullshit our tax dollars go for THAT'S the one that bothers you? Paying anything for kids?


He didn't say that he objected to paying for kids: he said that he objects to paying for illegitimat kids while the mothers are here trolling for other dates. He was very specific about what he objected to; but, that woulda just sounded silly for you to go off against, so you *PRETENDED* that he said he objects to paying for *ANY* kids. Much easier to get all pissed at him, if you reply as if he said something that he didn't actually say...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 28
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 5/4/2013 8:32:11 AM
(mrmeatloaf) I made a post a while ago about myself possibly dating a single mother with two kids. Well just wanted to share something. What I found out is that her husband cheated on her and that she was hurt. This would explain why she wanted to get my number a while back. I guess I was the fill in guy until she worked things out. She initiated contact first, and I would do the same. My guess is that she wasn't divorced but separated at that time she asked for my number. I helped out with something and I met up with her in a public place twice (without her husband). At that time she would make herself available. Just a small favor. The third time we met up she brought guess who? Her husband! Kinda a suprised me because the first two occasions she didn't bring him. I have never slept or hung with her. Just talked on the phone pretty much. Around me, she gave the impression like she was single. So my theory is they have made up.


Who cares? He deserves her.


I haven't heard from her in four weeks, and have not called or texted her since she showed up with her husband. Anyways, I checked my mail and got an invitation to her 30th bday party this saturday. Now I work two jobs on the weekend, and its at night but I can stop by. I don't know if I should go? I was just going to stop by honestly, but not stay.


Go, and take the opportunity to sneak a few cherry-bombs into her toilet. Light 'em, then stay to watch the fun! If y0u split, the suspicion will fall on you. See if you can shift the blame to one of her kids.

If you can't get ahold of cherry bombs, or have moral reservations about detonating explosives in residences, just flush a few towels (or sponges) down the crapper. Almost as good (you don't get the amusing porcelain shrapnel, though...)


I realized if a women likes you she will make time period.


And, if a woman is bat-shit crazy, you're allowed, even obligated, to have fun at her expense. There's an entire chapter devoted to that very topic in my upcoming book, "Arlo's Guide to Dealing With Dumb-asses" (it's a working title...)
 gingt
Joined: 3/18/2013
Msg: 29
Learned my lesson dating a single parent
Posted: 5/4/2013 11:13:19 AM

Right, I have no issues with kids but yes do have a serious issue when people have kids out of wedlock and on welfare while they go on dating sites looking for more partners. I find that disgusting and they need to be looking for a job instead of dating.


The night is dark and full of terrors!
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