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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 19Patrick86
Joined: 10/5/2009
Msg: 1
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She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.Page 1 of 1    
A girl recently contacted me asking to start a chat. She asked how I was, I said good and asked her the same question. I try to keep the conversation going as she is pretty by asking questions relevant to her profile. She just gave closed answers and asked no questions . Anyone care to speculate or suggest a course of action?
 RyanohRyan
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 2
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/22/2013 2:33:39 PM
You need to take the reigns, since you are the man, and she is the woman. She did you a HUGE favor by initiating contact. Time for you to man up and either go out with her, or forget her.
 forumitejunkie
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 3
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/22/2013 4:37:06 PM
My take is this was a bored young lady who thought your photo looked attractive enough for her to start a chat but ...she wasn't interested in putting any effort into the conversation. People such as this I firmly place in the "waste of time" category and move on....
 Rapunzel1964
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 4
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/22/2013 5:05:56 PM
I get the same from guys here. They initiate a chat, then they don't say anything. I ask them questions and they respond in monosyllables. Why do these people bother?
 dearsavannah
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 5
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/22/2013 5:27:28 PM

She did you a HUGE favor by initiating contact.


That is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever read.
If she cannot hold a conversation and does not seem to care about getting to know you, you need to ask yourself whether or not you are looking for a relationship, or something more casual.

Or perhaps that is just her personality, in which case you need to ask yourself whether that is your "type" or not.
 RyanohRyan
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 6
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/22/2013 5:42:40 PM
dearsavannah,

How is that the most ridiculous thing you have ever read? It's rare that a girl initiates contact with a guy, or at least very uncommon.

...and on the other side of the coin... She thought he was a great match for her, so she initiated contact, but after conversing with him realized that he may not be such a great match, and has since been cold and unresponsive.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 7
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She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/22/2013 6:41:03 PM
The speculation is the same as always. Is this really who the profile says? Is it your ex-girlfriend? Is she texting with 5 guys at a time? Crap shoot, you never know.

Already it is a bit of a red flag, and you have to ask yourself if it is worth continuing with someone you are bored with after one chat.
 ladymercury
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 8
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/22/2013 6:47:21 PM
I can relate as I'm also not a question-asker all that much; in a work or social setting. It's not that I'm indifferent or don't care, I just find that kind of common appreciation invasive. It lends to an overabundance of interpretation that generally muddies the water. For me, anyway.

I have no problem answering questions though ... strange how that works.

Maybe let the conversation unravel itself and if you happen to be asking most of the questions then so be it. You may be surprised to find that she warms up eventually and perhaps even opens herself up for discussion. It may just take time.
 TheCoolGreenMoss
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 9
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She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/22/2013 7:21:11 PM

suggest a course of action?

Wrap it up... get to the 'Want to meet up?' part...
 H0wAboutIt
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 10
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/23/2013 3:25:36 AM

I try to keep the conversation going


Read the smoke signals from the beginning. You should have to 'try' to keep a conversation going.. if you're working hard to keep a conversation going then that means the person on the other end isn't all that interested

If they ask "how are you?" that means they really haven't read your profile and haven't taken the time to start a REAL conversation with you. Saying "fine and you?" was great. If she responds with a "fine." The next thing from me would have been "Glad to hear." ....If she's interested you've just forced HER to show her hand. She either has to keep the conversation going or just not respond because she isn't all that interested.

Unless I have a vested professional interest in someone (i.e. - we're at a work related event/function and for some reason I just have to talk to you while we're walking to a lunch or something and don't want to appear as anti-social), I usually end the conversation if they don't ask any questions.




I try to keep the conversation going as she is pretty

That tells you zero about her internal qualities. That's why us fellas get the short end of the stick with some of these chicks (notice I didn't say women). We give them a 'pass' on basic conversation skills, etiquette, and actually having a real personality.



Anyone care to speculate or suggest a course of action?

How about moving on to a woman who actually has enough brains or interest to carry a real conversation?

To message # 8...


...and on the other side of the coin... She thought he was a great match for her, so she initiated contact, but after conversing with him realized that he may not be such a great match, and has since been cold and unresponsive.


In an ideal world this would be the case. Women do initiate contact with men on online dating sites. It's a little more common than you think. You don't realize someone's 'not a match' after exchanging pleasantries..it takes more than that.... a little naive..don't ya think?
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 11
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She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/23/2013 1:05:10 PM
you're stalled at the chitchat level. the reasons are unimportant. what's important is whether she'll want to move on to the next (assuming you do). so try to make that happen. suggest a meet. if she's agreeable, she'll say yes and negotiate the details. if she's not agreeable, she'll make an excuse. that's when you move on to someone else.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 12
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/23/2013 2:28:41 PM
Most likely things, either she's a lousy conversationalist or thought better of it after making the initial contact.

I agree with suggestions that you might as well ask for a meet. If she says no, fine, nevermind. If she says yes, it is possible, though not terribly likely, you'll find she's more lively in person. Worth a shot, why not?
 tony5montana
Joined: 4/20/2013
Msg: 13
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/23/2013 3:55:50 PM
As the man you initiate conversation. Nothing wrong with a woman initiating it but, just take it as a initial convo.
 JackSydney
Joined: 5/22/2012
Msg: 14
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/27/2013 3:58:59 AM
Just ask her out.
 PrimeFind84
Joined: 4/24/2013
Msg: 15
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/27/2013 5:41:49 PM
Thank you dearsavannah! I thought the same thing, it has nothing to do with being a man or not being man enough. I've come across multiple people who are horrible at contributing to a conversation, and the other person is left to run it, and you can only take a one person conversation so far, it doesn't matter how pretty the person is. I also think a big factor with some people like this, is that it's all about them, they don't really care about you as a person, but they can talk about themselves plenty. Also, some people are just socially inept, and there is no changing them, so it's best to move on
 RyanohRyan
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 16
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/29/2013 11:20:57 AM
To message # 8...


...and on the other side of the coin... She thought he was a great match for her, so she initiated contact, but after conversing with him realized that he may not be such a great match, and has since been cold and unresponsive.


In an ideal world this would be the case. Women do initiate contact with men on online dating sites. It's a little more common than you think. You don't realize someone's 'not a match' after exchanging pleasantries..it takes more than that.... a little naive..don't ya think?


Yea, uhh, did you realize I'm a heterosexual guy? What in the world makes you think you know more about that than I do? Kinda naive, ya think?. ...and how else can you possible figure out if someone is/isn't a match other than communicating? I mean...seriously? Did the world convert to mind-melds, telepathy, and full on body language and I didn't get the memo? lol
 ryuoki
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 17
She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.
Posted: 4/30/2013 5:51:41 PM
Ryanohryan OP never said she stopped responding. Just never asked any questions. Left all the control of the conversation to him.

I find this all too often. Most recently yet another woman who is a BBW contacted me(and I am not attracted to BBW but will converse with them regardless). We exchanged pleasantries (how are you, good and yourself) but all the questions primarily came from me, even though she answers. I am currently at the state of letting it go stale till she asks something. Otherwise what is the point. If a woman expects a man to do all the work, honestly how good can a relationship be? Dead fish ? Conversation is simple, ask what is on your mind. You gotta want to know something about the other person otherwise the attraction was merely physical.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > She approaches me, answers me but asks no questions.