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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > What makes a real man? Your answer is here.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 RyanohRyan
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 1
What makes a real man? Your answer is here.Page 1 of 1    
I was shocked when I came to this forum today and read that thread...unfortunately I could not respond as it topped out at 21 replies with women being dissapointed and men being clueless, so I put this together.

Here's the simple and short answer:

There are 3 main traits to being a real man, and there are attributes within each of those one should strive to have.

Trait one - Confidence. (The antonym of Confidence is "Intimidation")

Attributes of confidence:

Dominance, Optimism, Courage

Trait two - Charm. (The antonym of Charm is "Desperation")

Attributes of Charm:

Popularity, Selectivity, Caring/empathy

Trait three - Responsibility. (The antonym of Responsibility is "Rationalization")

Attributes of Responsibility:

Leading, Deciding, Advancement, Persistance

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Dominance- The primary expression of masculinity. Dominace is not an intrinsic individual quality, it exists within relation to other people. In couples, only one of the two can be dominant, and one of them always is. Dominate people are Selfish, feel self-important, and are shameless. (These are not negative qualities when accompanied with everything else)

Optimism- Being optimistic means having positive expectactions for the future. All expectations are self-fulfilling prophecies. The more you focus on something, the more it becomes reality to you. Opimistic people are ambitious, they are not self-conscious, and they do not feel inadequate.

Courage- Courageous people are the ones who can best deal with uncertainty. "the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery." You do not know if you will fail, but you are willing to try.

---

Popularity- Not to be confused with being popular in general, rather to appear popular with ladies. The appearence of being attractive to other women makes a man seem more charming. For example, a women may be more interested in a man with a wedding band, because it is a symbol of another female's commitment to him. A sign that he is wanted by females, even though they may not know why at the time.

Selectivity- A man carefully chooses the right thing for himself. This means he does not lower his standards by not accepting anything or anyone but the best. A man will choose the best car deal, the best business proposal, and the best woman (for him).

Caring/Empathy- A man cares for the woman he is interested in more than any other woman. When a man is interested in a woman, he devotes his attention to her and ignores the rest. He will protect her because she is his interest.

---

Leading- Being the driving force, initiating and setting the direction and pace of the relationship. Leading also plays into confidence in that you are ready to deal with uncertainty in trying something new. Leading also places the consequences and responsibility on to you (i.e. choosing the location and time of first date).

Deciding- Making a decision is an act of dominance. You show confidence when you make a decision and stick by it, even if it isn't the right one. Making a decision exhibits self-esteem in that it shows your wishes are significant, and that you believe you know what's best.

Advancement- Normally, the man is the one who initiates conversation, who asks for the phone number, who goes in for the first kiss, who asks for a raise, basically, advancement is your ability to make things happen. Putting your power into motion.

Persistence- Many goals come with great difficulty, and it is easy to just give up, so being persistant with your goals is important. Sometimes it may take a while for a woman to be comfortable with a man before trusting him enough to be intimate, or to even go on a date. A man willing to spend his time and effort in order to make a woman feel comfortable around her, will also make her feel special in that he could easily give up and move on.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 2
What makes a real man? Your answer is here.
Posted: 4/25/2013 1:24:08 PM
Op:

Thank you for the clarity and well thought out definition!

Now......could you find one for me and send them my way? Lol
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 3
What makes a real man? Your answer is here.
Posted: 4/25/2013 2:00:21 PM
Ryan, you are an intelligent young man. What's with the shirtless pics? Surely you know they are against site rules?

As for your OP here, it's very well thought out and well written but I have to disagree with this
Dominance- The primary expression of masculinity. Dominace is not an intrinsic individual quality, it exists within relation to other people. In couples, only one of the two can be dominant, and one of them always is
I've had two long term relationships and several medium length relationships in my life. In only one of those did my partner attempt to take on the 'dominant' role. In all others we had a very equal relationship.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 4
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History
What makes a real man? Your answer is here.
Posted: 4/25/2013 2:37:13 PM
He knows how to put on a shirt.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 5
What makes a real man? Your answer is here.
Posted: 4/25/2013 3:09:44 PM
I'm putting up $5 that the OP has that whole damn post memorized verbatim, and uses it to hit on drunk ladies during Happy Hour at least 2x a week. Any takers?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 6
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History
What makes a real man? Your answer is here.
Posted: 4/25/2013 3:15:42 PM
I'm not interested in alpha males, driving force, all that jazz, just give me a guy who is reasonably happy with his life and is laid back and comfortable. That list makes me tired just reading it, I sure don't want to live with it. Which of course, brings up the fact that *women* aren't looking for any list, they aren't all alike, so no one list is going to fit. All you have to do is be yourself and look for those who are seeking someone like you and then you have to be attracted to them...that will get you to the first date stage. It's gets more complicated after that.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 7
What makes a real man? Your answer is here.
Posted: 4/25/2013 3:38:49 PM
Tall IQ2:

I love that poem....it is one I read to my son every so often....
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 8
What makes a real man? Your answer is here.
Posted: 4/25/2013 6:41:57 PM

Hey man, how about if you save everyone some time and reference your sources for that seeming soliloquy on "real" maleness?...


The question that should be asked is do real men tell people where they get their lines?????


(not the ones getting phucked)
 Staygold-92
Joined: 4/12/2013
Msg: 9
view profile
History
What makes a real man? Your answer is here.
Posted: 4/26/2013 4:22:56 AM
Hello,

I just want to thank you for this. All the posts on that thread's useless and no one took it seriously.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 10
What makes a real man? Your answer is here.
Posted: 4/26/2013 8:49:31 PM
Very funny, Belluvthebawl!

He also decorates with antlers.
 corporealcull
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 11
What makes a real man? Your answer is here.
Posted: 4/27/2013 9:08:24 AM
This sounds like a pinocchio complex. (you know, related to peterpan complex... ok i made it up)

But look, being a real man is to not be a douche. I can imagine a db worming his way into those definitions incognito.

If you try to idealize yourself as a generally appealing person to all women, you will go nowhere. You have to be yourself, and get to know yourself and improve on yourself, and hope there is another girl out there that can intimately relate and appreciate you as an individual (that's the hard part... especially if you find yourself extremely different), not as some one size fits all phony.

There are some good points to be made in that description, but I don't always agree with the "antonyms".
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > What makes a real man? Your answer is here.