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 BiSexualWoman
Joined: 3/9/2013
Msg: 1
Why is this so hard?Page 1 of 1    
I am bisexual and have been ever since I can remember. I am now married and have been for about three years now. My husband knows about my sexuality and does not have a problem with it. In fact, he loves the idea of me being with another female.
A few months ago I decided to create a profile on here to give it a shot. I have gotten a few responses and I, of course, respond back. The problem that I have been having is either being used or not being spoken to after I send the other party a few pictures. I do not understand how and why this is so difficult for me. If I were single and looking for a guy, I would be having better luck.
Is it that difficult for me, a bisexual, to find a woman or a couple to hang out with, have fun with and have the touch of another woman with my husband present?? What am I doing that I should be doing different? Can someone give me advice and/or pointers? Would just love to find that right female or couple.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 2
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/3/2013 9:37:48 PM
OP you have only been here a few months and are finding this difficult yet you recognize that what you are looking for is not mainstream so it is a little more difficult to find that what the average person is looking for. I think what you need to find first is some patience even those of us who are looking for mainstream find it difficult to find what we are looking for it we. When you say you were being "used" I don't know quite what you mean - I am assuming you are looking for a couple or a woman to have sex with not a long term relationship ...for some of us a relationship based solely on sex would qualify as "using" each other
 tooborednow
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 3
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/3/2013 9:37:58 PM

Is it that difficult for me, a bisexual, to find a woman or a couple to hang out with, have fun with and have the touch of another woman with my husband present?

When you're trolling for it on a seemingly strait laced dating site vs. an adult oriented site like AFF or craigslist w4w intimate encounters, then yes...it's going to be difficult.


What am I doing that I should be doing different?

Maybe you aren't using the right sites?
Maybe your personality isn't compatible with theirs?
Maybe it's because it's only been 2 months and you are still low on the learning curve?
I don't know.
The only thing you seem to be doing is coming onto POF.
Other than that I don't know what you are actually doing.
Maybe you are going to swingers clubs, going to swingers or casual encounters sites. You don't say.


Would just love to find that right female

Millions to billions of men are in the same boat.
If it was easy, then dating websites really wouldn't have any business.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 4
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/3/2013 9:39:10 PM
Delete that entire paragraph after your sentence "We don't read" as it all sounds very bitter and angry.
Nobody wishes to get involved with bitter and angry people...and that last paragraph sure isn't happy! Good luck with your search.
 BiSexualWoman
Joined: 3/9/2013
Msg: 5
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/3/2013 9:48:58 PM
Being Used: In my situation....don't really receive nothing in return. I do have patience. In my opinion, patience is a virtue. I also believe in good things come to those who wait.
"you are looking for a couple or a woman to have sex with not a long term relationship" I'm not looking for just sex. Just looking to spice things up a little when the time is right for all parties. I'm not and wont just have sex with just anyone.
 BiSexualWoman
Joined: 3/9/2013
Msg: 6
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/3/2013 9:52:53 PM
Thank you for your advice. I am not just coming to POF. I am using another site as well. I'm not into swinging so that is out of the question. Nor do I go to clubs.
 BiSexualWoman
Joined: 3/9/2013
Msg: 7
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/3/2013 9:55:06 PM
"Delete that entire paragraph after your sentence "We don't read" as it all sounds very bitter and angry.
Nobody wishes to get involved with bitter and angry people...and that last paragraph sure isn't happy! Good luck with your search."

Eric,

Thank you for your suggestions. I will edit my profile again and see what happens.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 8
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History
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/3/2013 10:06:20 PM
consider f e t l ife dot com..... it maybe more suitable to your needs and limits than here.....

keep in mind this site is so strongly vanilla that the word $hyt has to be encrypted so it wont get stars to replace it as in ****
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 9
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History
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/3/2013 10:16:17 PM
OP, it's difficult for anyone, male or female to find a woman. First, there are so many more men online than women. Second so many of the women online are already married or in relationships, and are just looking for validation/ego boost. Finally, the few that are left, are usually shallow, and ridiculously picky, because they know that the singles sites are swarming with men, and they tend to get more messages from men, than Hollywood stars get fan mail. So I sympathize with you. Yes, it is hard, and it will never be easy.
 _Passion4life
Joined: 2/23/2013
Msg: 10
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/4/2013 9:34:10 AM
Im going to be honest with u.... Your pics look dirty.... The house is unkempt. It looks like it stinks. I would suggest doing a bait and switch....take pics outside make them think all is well, then invite them to that rat hole and watch them hem and haw trying to get the hell outta there. In a nutshell, u need to clean up. Its not attractive, AT ALL!!
 Archiver
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 11
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/4/2013 11:47:56 AM
^^^
I was going to say the same thing. Your profile and photos are your advertising; you are marketing yourself, but doing a poor job of it. Unfortunately, you are not showing yourself in a good light. Make use of the Profile Review forum. The people there will give you good advice for improving your presentation. Ditch the current photos and profile and try again with more attractive clothing, posing, and background. If taking pictures in the house, make sure it's clean and tidy. Look at what is behind and around you and think about what kind of an impression would be made. Get lots of photos taken and select only the attractive ones for posting.

You are focused on a small segment of the membership. Your location is also a crippling factor. Ignored messages and dropping out of sight after a phone call are typical behavior, even among the wider population. Do not expect quick results. Finding a partner is work!

If you need some guidance on changing your environment, check out flylady.net and http://www.oprah.com/home/Clean-Your-Messy-House-in-6-Months.

It can be done! It took me five months to de-clutter and empty my old home so that I could move. Now I live a minimalist lifestyle and love it. Once in my new home, I hired a housekeeper to come in for two hours every other week to deep vacuum, dust, and make the bathroom and kitchen sparkly clean. I'm still not a good housekeeper, but I just have to keep things picked up and cull things I'm not using. I'm not ashamed to have company or unexpected visitors any more.
 hotmerlot
Joined: 4/26/2013
Msg: 12
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/4/2013 9:56:39 PM
I'd be on this like a fat kid on a smartie; if I were a bi woman that wanted to be spanked by an odd looking girl in a messy house while her father figure is whacking off in the corner.

I'm sorry to say this but esthetics alone is interfering with your goal. You need to pretty that picture up.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 13
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/5/2013 12:10:55 PM

In fact, he loves the idea of me being with another female.

That's a pretty typical guy trait. I don't know any guy that is threatened by another woman and most are turned on by the idea.

Can someone give me advice and/or pointers?

I simply think you are on the wrong site for what you are seeking.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 14
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/5/2013 2:38:23 PM

I'd be on this like a fat kid on a smartie; if I were a bi woman that wanted to be spanked by an odd looking girl in a messy house while her father figure is whacking off in the corner.


I was waiting for someone to make such a humourous summation of this situation and not wanting to be the one to point out the obvious for a change - thanks for the smile.
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 15
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/5/2013 3:12:03 PM
PoF, or other dating sites are not good for BI-Sexuals. You have to hang out in the community to find what you are looking for.
 BiSexualWoman
Joined: 3/9/2013
Msg: 16
Why is this so hard?
Posted: 5/5/2013 7:10:25 PM
I didn't realize there are so many judgemental individuals out there such as some of the responders. My husband is NOT my father figure. All I was looking for is advice and what not and I got this?? If there were a delete button, I would delete this.
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 17
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Why is this so hard?
Posted: 1/9/2019 2:22:56 AM
lol.....games are played by all.....women advertise for what your talking about then back off because of being scared or what-ever......It's always been my fantasy to even watch two women personally without participating....as in a live movie....I find them soft and sensual and knowing how to treat each other which many men negate...….in saying that keep on advertising and go to sights that talk about it....they are out there....lol
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 18
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Why is this so hard?
Posted: 1/24/2019 5:40:50 PM
What I find hard to ponder is How some people who prob are in a good relationship, yet want more.
Boggles my mind
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