|Getting TogetherPage 1 of 1 |
|I met a woman on POF when I first joined. We dated about 3 months. It got quite physical right from the start. At the time, I had a lot on my plate and she was going through a rough perid herself. She became somewhat clingy and aggressive. I ended it because things were happening too fast. I have not seen her in 5 months, but lately I've been thinking about her a lot and I miss her. I sent her an email greeting today. I have broken up with women in the past and gotten back together. Sometimes it was better the 2nd time around. Any comments?|
Posted: 5/13/2013 11:14:15 AM
|have you been in touch with the 5 months?|
Posted: 5/13/2013 11:19:27 AM
|...do you have any idea how long that is in girl years?|
The reason I ask is I get this alot.
Ya date, things are pretty good.. Bam, its over.. You dont hear from him then outta the blue months later you get a message, txt, phone call.
Its like all of a sudden they think oooo.. I should contact her.
What? One morning you wake up and she popped in your head and you think I should call her. NO. No, you shouldnt.
......but then, Im jaded.
Posted: 5/13/2013 11:58:16 AM
|So...she reacts to stress by becoming needy and aggressive...you dont like that and dump her...and 5 long months later you miss her and e amail her again...and think it may be allright to get back together.|
What is your plan if her life gets stressful again? Cause it is bound to and you already dont like how she acts under pressure...great plan you have there. Tell us more.
Posted: 5/13/2013 12:12:51 PM
|Don't have a plan, just see what happens. If she wants to see me I'll go see her.|
Posted: 5/13/2013 1:13:49 PM
|A little bit of everything. My problem is that when I have a good thing, I don't realize it until I don't have it anymore. Either that, or I'm just remembering the good times or what I choose to remember. I don't know, anyway she did email me back, was totally surprised to hear from me. Doesn't seem to thrilled that I contacted her all of these months. I leave it go for a few days and see what happens. I'll keep you posted.|
Posted: 5/13/2013 1:37:14 PM
|5 months is a long time for people, men and women alike.. but see what happens, if you can re-kindle that old flame then its all the better, it just proves the point that absence does make the heart grow fonder, Good Luck OP|
Posted: 5/13/2013 1:40:05 PM
|Admit to the fact that you just want the "physical" part of it.......verbalize that to her......see what happens|
Posted: 5/13/2013 1:44:58 PM
|If she asks me why I contacted her and for me to be totally honest about I should tell her it's strictly a "physical" thing and she will appreciate that? Truth be told that's the reason I still haven't owned up to it yet and she is putting my feet to the fire as we forum. I kid you not.|
Posted: 5/13/2013 2:29:41 PM
If she asks me why I contacted her and for me to be totally honest about I should tell her it's strictly a "physical" thing and she will appreciate that?
Maybe not, but it's a risk you'll have to take at some point - better now than later.
Posted: 5/13/2013 2:52:16 PM
|So she's "putting your feet to the fire"? Good for her. If you aren't wanting a relationship and only looking for sex do the right thing and be honest. Let her make an informed decision about her future. |
Sheesh... willing to lie and wonder why some people have trust issues. Go figure.
Posted: 5/13/2013 3:25:48 PM
|The worst thing she can say is "no."If you miss her, there's no harm contacting her again. She will likely see it as a tremendous compliment. Perhaps you have both learned from your mistakes.|
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Posted: 5/13/2013 4:18:23 PM
|Comfort her do what makes her in stressed|
Posted: 5/13/2013 4:45:31 PM
|She emailed me back and said that she was in a "good place." However, it took her ten emails plus I don't know how many more she plans to send me ............in order to do it. If "Milady" was in that good of a place, and that content, and that secure with everything in her life...........why would she even bother to engage or contribute anything in the first place? Most content women would not even given it a 2nd thought and give me the blow off, no questions or explanations ......period. Go figure...........cause I sure can't.|
Posted: 5/13/2013 4:53:29 PM
If "Milady" was in that good of a place, and that content, and that secure with everything in her life...........why would she even bother to engage or contribute anything in the first place? Most content women would not even given it a 2nd thought and give me the blow off, no questions or explanations ......period. Go figure...........cause I sure can't.
She "bothered to engage" because you sent her a message, and it is juvenile to ignore people for no apparent reason. That's what girls in grade 7 do. Those that are in a good place, happy, and secure, are less likely to be vengeful or antagonistic in their conversation, because you have no emotional bearing on them. :)
If you sent her a message, instead of being grateful that she responded to you in a cordial manner, you are now questioning her motives for doing so. Were you just tying to bait her?
Posted: 5/13/2013 5:02:00 PM
|Good question. No, I wasn't trying to bait her or fish for answers. I was generally curious as to how she was and asked her so..........she got so wound up and inquisitive as to "why" .............I don't know "why" ten reasons maybe twenty "why is the sky blue?" Maybe I care...Is that so terrible?...................I'm darned if I do and G-d forbid darned if I don't.|
Posted: 5/13/2013 5:11:08 PM
I'm darned if I do and G-d forbid darned if I don't.
No you aren't in either case, but that's the position you are putting her in. If she responds to you, you question the legitimacy of her contentment, if she doesn't respond, you might question the legitimacy of her hostility.
I'm not suggesting there is anything wrong with you sending her an email (or calling, or texting, or whatever form of communication you choose). I have had many men who I had previously date contact me after a period of time. Despite any contention or hurt feelings we had at that time, there is no reason to carry it around. In all cases, I have responded kindly. Her asking why, is not an irrelevant question. You might ask the same thing if you were in her shoes.
Posted: 5/13/2013 5:16:23 PM
She emailed me back and said that she was in a "good place."
So you got turned down, politely and without recrimination, for sex.
I don't see how that makes you a victim, here. Everyone gets shot down sometimes, you didn't want anything emotional anyway, and she was nice about it.
Sheesh. Quit complaining.
Posted: 5/13/2013 5:24:50 PM
|You werent trying to ask about her. Youre trying to get laid and trying to see if you still got game with her.|
Am I missing something here? You didnt want anything but sex, right? She didnt but was nice to you about it. What more is she suppose to do? You txt (email, whatever) outta the blue FIVE months later. She didnt contact you, she has moved on but was polite enough to respond because yall have a past.
I dont get it. Leave the girl alone. Youre game is off. She didnt take the bait. (and I have the feeling that now, youre baiting wont work on here either after all this is viewed by potential mates.)
Your ego is bruised but it will be okeventually. Shake it off man.. move on.
Once again, its been FIVE months. Thats like, idk...... YEARS to a girl.
Do you even get that?