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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How much of a difference do pictures make?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 wolvesatthedoor
Joined: 5/8/2013
Msg: 4
How much of a difference do pictures make?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Hey try being 59 on here, lol. My pic is 5 days old. Guess my age is a downer, I know it is to me, lmao.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 5
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/16/2013 4:01:08 PM
Pleasantly surprised a handful of times. I have a TON of POF first meets. The vast majority used pics taken 10 years ago or 70+ lbs ago. Two used their DAUGHTERS pics. Many were totally unrecognizable.


The biggest problem I had with people's photos was not that they were old, but that they were often taken from too far of a distance to discern enough facial detail, or they were poor quality, i.e. low-resolution.


Its a crap shoot on first meets on here which is why I do SHORT first meets. Two drinks or 20 minutes. I usually know in 3 minutes if I want a real date with them.


This strategy worked for me, as well. I always met people for drinks in a bar/restaurant so that I had the option of leaving quickly if the person didn't look like their photos---or of extending the date if things were going well.
 tnt8
Joined: 4/22/2013
Msg: 7
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/16/2013 4:18:43 PM
While I would not suggest using pics more than a few years old, I would not worry about it too much... people can look quite different when you meet them face-to-face... pictures don't convey body language and facial expressions. This is why I usually recommend that people go on more first meets... as long as the person's picture is not butt-ugly!
 ryuoki
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 9
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/16/2013 5:45:37 PM
In the almost two years I have been involved with the site, I have had 1 meet. It was ok, but she was just not one that really talked that much to me, but instead I had a competition with her phone for attention during the lunch.

Currently I try to keep my pictures up to date within a month or two. I am hardly losing weight, but am getting leaner quite rapidly the more miles I put on the treadmill every day plus the weights. So if you are a person losing weight, best to cycle pictures off but date them. If your body type is changing as quickly as mine (about 4" off the waist and 6lbs in a couple months) then potential suitors might say "wow she is really putting effort into her workouts". I for one do not shy away from a few extra pounds so long as they claim to be active. I can tell at a meet if they are or not just by what their wrists and forearms look like.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 10
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/16/2013 5:53:06 PM
It's a make it or break it. I at least have to imagine sitting across from him for a meal, drinks, conversation. The pictures have to be tasteful though.

1. I'm suspicious of far away smiling pictures and close ups with no smile (indicative of poor dental hygiene). Been there, done that.
2. Studio pictures scream high maintenance to me.
3. All pictures with drinks in their hand and I suspect they like to get wasted, or can't have a good time without a drink (how mature is that?).
4. All group pictures and you don't know who they are from the bunch, why the confusion?
5. Taking unflattering pictures like pictures with taller, more attractive looking people than they are, come on! It automatically makes you look less attractive, why do this to yourself? Lol (you're making people wonder about your friends' availability).
6. A carousel of pictures with your pet, I think you already met who you want to be with and spend all your time with, lol

I have more but I'll stop at this.

Sorry in advance for all I may have offended but go figure? It's the USA and I'm entitled to an opinion.

I've gone out with plenty of men I find unattractive (but decent) because the conversation conveyed a good natured person who would be interesting to meet. For me, things don't have to lead anywhere, its about meeting people and having a great time at it.
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 11
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/16/2013 6:27:44 PM
tnt8. Spot on! A picture is just a reference of what you look like. Some people are photogenic, and some are not. The thing that a picture can't show is the quirkiness of a smile, or how eyes animate with that smile, etc. etc.

As far as what impact a picture makes on me, well....................... a good pic may get me to click, yet a poor profile, negativity (there is a lot of that), or just nothing in common will get me to pass by without a message.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 12
view profile
History
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/16/2013 7:09:04 PM
Msg.1:
Personaly I don't relay on pictures , it doesn't bother me if he is photogenic or nonphotogenic,fat or skinny,tall,or short.
What is important is his personal projection on how he impress me with his fine manners and TRUE characters.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 13
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 6:39:38 AM
I had first dates / meetings with people that had mediocre photos. As long as the photo doesn't show an obvious visual dealbreaker ( such as obesity ), I will give them the benefit of the doubt. As stated by others, some people aren't photogenic and can look better in person.

 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 14
view profile
History
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 7:10:59 AM
+1 Cowboy. Short and sweet meets are the way to go. If their pics are old or they do not appear at all to be the person you were talking to on line, one or two drinks and off you go.

Pics are important if you are trying to meet and date people on line. I do not think many people even bother with the profiles without photos.

When I was dating, I posted pictures. I am forums only now so its not that important.
 SimpleCltMan
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 15
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 7:20:27 AM

It goes to show that you can't get much of a sense of what the person is like from a two-dimensional image


Apparently it means a lot. When you don't get a response, you know it was because of your picture. They didn't like the way you looked, your size, shape, or something in the background (PSA: never post pictures of you standing with your ex even if you blur the face.. Are ya kidding). If none one had any pictures, I think the site would fail miserably. Ask anyone who doesn't have a picture how many emails they get and see if you get the same answer when they do post a few.

We are all visual... So posting a picture is the first step to getting someone to like us.
 AdventurousDan99
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 16
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 7:27:46 AM
Keep your pics current and only of you. I dislike seeing pets, group shots etc. You have a dark pic and a couple of group shots. Replace them with better quality close ups and body shots.

We all look at the pics and decide if the vision we see is someone we could imagine being seen in public and waking up next to in the morning. Let's not kid ourselves! Most guys, myself included want someone that is attractive. I don't need a stunning beauty that turns heads but she must take care of herself and have "some" attractive physical attributes.

I have been pleasantly surprised more often than not when meeting someone the first time. Usually they are more attractive or similar in person, although if the pics don't display a body shot that often meant a wide bottom. Not a dealbreaker necessarily, but at least I can visualize without setting a physical standard before actually meeting her. Conversely, I have been told my pictures do not do me justice. I am not at all photogenic - some people have that quality and many of us don't. It took a number of pics of me to find one I am willing to post.
 Vesta_ceres
Joined: 4/5/2013
Msg: 17
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 8:34:49 AM
Apparently it means a lot. When you don't get a response, you know it was because of your picture.


I'd say the changes are good, that this is so. It could also mean that the profile is poorly written or there is something in the profile, sometimes in conjunction with bad photos, that could be the problem, too.


They didn't like the way you looked, your size, shape, or something in the background (PSA: never post pictures of you standing with your ex even if you blur the face.. Are ya kidding).


I agree. Poorly cropped photos in which the ex's locks are still visible, are usually distasteful; photos with children; hunted game; sunglasses; guns; filthy bathroom mirrors or toilets; marriage rings; drunk friends or drunk subject; grimacing frowns; untidy kitchens; torso shots; and unkempt hair are huge turn offs.


If none one had any pictures, I think the site would fail miserably. Ask anyone who doesn't have a picture how many emails they get and see if you get the same answer when they do post a few.


The mail filter blocks out many of those. :)
 NinerV
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 18
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 8:57:20 AM
Does anyone respond to messages from someone with no pictures posted? I'm relunctant to, and yesterday got told I was rude for not responding, she wrote me at 11:30pm on Wed and when I didn't respond by 10:30am the next morning, I got another message saying "Your rude and that's why you're single"... ummm, okay. :-)
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 19
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 9:06:14 AM
I recently met a guy who looked kind of deranged in his picture. But he seemed to be a nice guy and he actually is the only person I've ever met who looked better in person. He was boring as hell, but not painful to look at.
 theanswerguy2
Joined: 4/3/2013
Msg: 20
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 11:11:14 AM

I've been on a couple of dates so far and the men haven't looked the same as in their pictures - not worse; just different. It goes to show that you can't get much of a sense of what the person is like from a two-dimensional image.


This is what makes me scratch my head about those who put so much emphasis on photos.
If you keep meeting people and they don't like their photos because they used old photos, fake photos, or misleading photos, why continue to put so much emphasis on the photos (that the photos have to be perfect and you have to just be mesmerized by the photos) upfront if you know there is a good possibility that you will be disappointed in person, based on previous experience?
 SuperFunGuy
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 21
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 11:19:11 AM
I would say a lot. I've lost a lot of weight. Which for me is good. At first I didn't like putting photo's of myself on here. Now I'm fine with it. I get a lot of nice compliments from women.
 theanswerguy2
Joined: 4/3/2013
Msg: 23
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 11:22:03 AM
Ask anyone who doesn't have a picture how many emails they get


I have no picture and a nothing profile right now that says "for forums only" and I have gotten unsolicited messages from around 10 women and 17 pages of confirmed views.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 24
view profile
History
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 11:46:53 AM
I have also had many many "meet and greets", and can tell within 10 minutes if I am interested or not in the potential for more. Keeping the meets as just a cup of coffee or a drink together, and nothing more is the best way to give each the chance to enjoy that drink and leave if wanted, or stay if wanting that more.

There have been those that I have met that were absolutely betting looking in person, and if their personality matched their attractiveness, we have "lift off" Houston.....but unfortunately far more are not that close to their pictures, or they are much older, or much heavier, and then it all crashes unless their personality can maintain my interest as a friend.

Life is to short to waste time on things you know are not what you want, and as long as you can be kind, considerate, and thoughtful, as you make that decision, I am fine with it! Spending 30 minutes or less talking to a potential is not that hard to do, and if not interested, just say thank you and wish them well, pay your bill, and leave with your head held high.

cd
 1Irishguy
Joined: 5/28/2012
Msg: 25
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 12:12:53 PM
Pictures make a big difference in an online dating site but I've also found that it's better to not go completely by pictures, I've had a couple of dates now and one of them I was completely surprised, they're pictures did them absolutely no justice at all. the woman I'm speaking of was far more attractive in the flesh.

It's very hard to know exactly how attractive someone is through a picture alone, some people look good in pictures and others don't, and some people are good at showing off they're personality in pictures while others aren't, and then you get the odd people who post really old pictures of them selves.

Give them a chance if you find them even slightly attractive I say, because you never know. Just make you're meetings short is all. like for a coffee or something.
 ColeenAnn
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 27
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 1:10:48 PM
I have no picture and a nothing profile right now that says "for forums only" and I have gotten unsolicited messages from around 10 women and 17 pages of confirmed views.


Msg 25:
EVERYBODY does. But it doesn't mean they are the least bit interested, or even a real person for that matter. Hell, I just put up a blank profile on another site and already have 36 messages ... and the profile doesn't even say anything yet! Hmm, I wonder what they could be attracted to? Nothing.

Pictures make all the difference to me. It doesn't matter how great the profile, the personality, etc. If you can't get past the pics and find some attraction it'll never go anywhere in a romantic sense.

P.S. And views DO NOT mean anyone is interested at all.
 theanswerguy2
Joined: 4/3/2013
Msg: 28
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 1:50:09 PM
Msg 25:
EVERYBODY does.


How does "everybody does" when there are about a million threads started by GUYS who claim they get no replies?


Pictures make all the difference to me. It doesn't matter how great the profile, the personality, etc. If you can't get past the pics and find some attraction it'll never go anywhere in a romantic sense.


P.S. And views DO NOT mean anyone is interested at all.


And just how do you get to the pictures that make all the difference to you? Maybe by VIEWING the profile?
Everything starts with a view. I doubt that you have sent many, or any, messages to someone whose profile you DIDN'T view.
A lot of people claim that most people won't even "view" a profile if it has no picture. Well, since I don't even have a thumbnail pic to view, those who are shown to have viewed my profile were apparently not deterred from viewing it by the fact that there was not even a thumbnail picture to see. Unless the "Viewed Me" is all made up.
 ColeenAnn
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 30
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 3:41:02 PM
Thank you Cowboy. He seems very confused.
 wolvesatthedoor
Joined: 5/8/2013
Msg: 31
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 3:44:19 PM
Full length body pics should be mandatory for everyone, to avoid, rather than drag on, any misunderstandings.
 theanswerguy2
Joined: 4/3/2013
Msg: 32
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 3:46:56 PM
Views DO NOT mean anyone is interested in you!


People cannot get interested in someone until they view their profile. According to POF's own list of tips for improving one's profile, people get 10 times more views if they have a pic. According to that formula, I would have 170 pages of views right now. I seriously doubt that would ever happen, even with a pic.


after seeing your pics enlarged.


Can you not see that there is NO pic to enlarge? Yet they are still interested in viewing my profile (according to POF), even for 2 seconds (which is all it takes to view my current nothing to see profile).

Edit to message 32:

Not hardly. I have been doing this long enough, without any of the disastrous experiences that so many people post about on these forums.

Edit to Message 36:

YOU still don't get it. If people are not interested in even viewing a profile, they don't even click on it.
I just came across a woman's profile that said in her About Me section:

"No pic equals automatic block."
I wouldn't expect her to even view my profile.

YOU still don't get it. I'm not talking about being interested in getting to know me further. I'm talking about interested in viewing the profile, even though there is no pic, and even though the "conventional" advice on these sites is that people won't even bother looking at your profile if you don't have a pic.
In Message 16, the poster made the comment "I do not think many people even bother with the profiles with no photos".
 ColeenAnn
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 33
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 3:51:39 PM
Msg 34: You still don't get it.

You said you have views to your profile. We're saying "So what?" It doesn't mean anyone likes you better than anyone else on this site. Just because someone viewed your profile DOESN'T mean they are the least bit interested - pics or no pics.

You have to view someone first in order to even KNOW if you're interested, so just viewing your profile means squat. I have pages and pages of views - but I don't have messages from everyone BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED. Get it now?
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