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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > How do you get over someone who wasn't real?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Voyager58
Joined: 4/24/2013
Msg: 1
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Marriage ended 6 years ago after 24 years, found POF, dated, and like many others here, tried to put life back in order and look for that "special person"
A couple of years passed, met many people, nothing special, then I met "her" here.
We chatted, seemed to have good banter, set up a first date, went well, saw each other again and again, both knew it was good, chemistry and that warm fuzzy feeling you get with the right person was there, we both killed the POF profiles, and became exclusive.
She lived a 90 minute drive from me, was average looking, no children, bit of a permanent scowl/frown and not the kind of person you would notice at the mall. She had separated around the same time as I did, and was also looking to pick up her life with the right person. As I got to know her more and more, it became apparent that we had a lot in common, so much in fact, I became enthralled by her. Her appearance also began to change. She admitted she didn't like her looks, called herself a plain jane, and kept pumping me for advice and opinion of tops, makeup, hair, shoes, accessories.....her entire appearance had transformed in 4 months from a "pain jane" to a head turning stunning woman who was happy and smiling and fun to be around. I wasn't complaining.
We began to travel, went to Europe twice , Florida, NYC, Chicago, weekenders (shared costs of course)...dancing, theater, markets, restaurants....
It wasn't without the weirdness...we actually broke up probably 6 times in the first 16 months...there was a negative pessimistic and angry side to her that was contrary to my personality and values...more than once I called her an "emotional vampire", where she created a situation to bring me down and depress me, then sat back and watched the fallout...anger and negativity go against my values, and I didn't like being in the dark place she was creating for me. She would yell at clerks, waiters, neighbours, coworkers, managers, strangers at pubs, over nothing or trivial issues.
Each time we broke up, she would hoover me back into her life, 10 page emails, apologizing, blaming it all on years of verbal abuse by her ex, she was trying, called herself a "work in progress". Each time we got back together, it seemed she had adapted and that particular trait of hers had disappeared. After 16 months, there was no more grief and we settled into a good relationship. Another trip to Europe and Mexico....then, fired again, she found a job near me. So after being together 2 1/2 years, I asked her to move in with me. She sold her house, threw her stuff into storage and moved in.
Life was good.
For 6 months.
After 6 months, she began to change. Less chatty, less involved, intimacy dried up, late hours at work, more arguments over the absolute trivialest of issues (melt down when I merely suggested she use my bottle of real vanilla instead of the artificial vanilla she had brought)....she deleted our "In a relationship with..." from Facebook and merely shrugged when I asked her why...in essence, she became someone entirely strange and foreign. Tension in the house became unbearable. Unresolvable issues that she never confronted or answered, sitting in the corner of the sofa with arms folder each night, or curled into a ball on the bed in the spare bedroom, I suggested if she wasn't happy being with me, she was free to move out.
And she did. 363 days after she moved in.
The woman who moved out bore no resemblance to the woman I had dated for 2 1/2 years who had moved in a year earlier.

After my WTF was that about moment, I discovered the wonderful world of Borderline Personality Disorder. Not going to get into that, as it's been discussed to death on other threads in this site.
[url]http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts14396275.aspx[/url]
But, the anger, chameleon appearance change, arguments, sex that starts out amazing and fizzles into nothing, and the sudden *poof* gone, she scored 8/10 on the BPD scale. Had no idea. Live and learn. BPD people are very good at their craft. They have a knack for exploiting all your weaknesses.

Had breakups before, got over it, moved on. Where I am having problems letting go is I had fallen in love with a woman who did not exist. She wasn't real. All the mutual likes and dislikes and passions and favorites were part of the persona she created. Her Facebook wall, every "Likes This" is my favorite movie, show, song, city, actor. She has no identity of her own.
For me, it was like falling in love with a character in a movie, then meeting the real actress and realizing she is nothing like the character.
Those here who have lived with BPD people will know exactly what I am talking about.
When I saw her on the weekends, she was "in character"...but when we lived together, 24/7, she couldn't sustain the act, and the real woman she was emerged.
I bear her no ill will and anger....I have read enough about BPD and its causes to understand that issues from her past caused her to be this way. I hope she finds peace and happiness one day, no one deserves to be so unhappy and angry.
That's my rant. My question is, it's not like I can drive over and reconcile and try to fix like any other breakup. That woman does not exist. She has moved on, is with another dude, and people who know her tell me she bears no resemblance to the woman I knew. She adapted to be the "woman of my dreams" for the new guy she is with. Appearance, personality, and so on.
She also kept me in the "friend zone" for 4 months, sending mixed messages that kept me from getting back on track. I finally cut her off.
Telling me I should have seen the signs 4 years ago is redundant. BPD people are good at what they do.
She raised the bar high, very high, and now it seems like no one will be able to live up to being the person she was. Obvious, right? But it wasn't real.
How do you get over someone who was so perfect (when the anger and negativity had disappeared and I wanted to be with her and asked her to move in), but turns out it wasn't real, only an illusion?
 brisco414
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 2
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/9/2013 7:48:18 PM
I'm sorry your heart has been broken by someone with this type of mental illness. I guess you'd have to experience it to understand the toll it takes on a relationship and I haven't.

You get over this by taking it each day knowing you're going to have some really dark days with windows -- a hint of a glimpse that you're going to be ok. If you can't do it on your own then seek therapy from a professional. I went through a very traumatizing and life changing relationship with my "perfect" everything in a man who didn't have BPD. There is no perfect. Good friends and therapy is what eventually got me through it. Time helps but it never really goes away.
 Voyager58
Joined: 4/24/2013
Msg: 3
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/9/2013 8:07:03 PM
@brisco414
Thanks....i did sign up for counselling and therapy, start this Thursday...we all have stuff happen, we shake it off and move on. This, for some reason, haunts me...its like being 5 and being told Santa isn't real, never was, just someone in a red suit. You still want to keep believing.
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 4
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/9/2013 9:16:30 PM
By the way you've romantacized it all
Outta desperation, you made her out to be a Goddess in your mind's eye
that when the tell-tale signs hit you in the face, you basically brushed it all off
and went back for another ride on the proverbial motorcycle without a helmet

In short, you fell for someone who you created,
You didn't use all the pieces of the puzzle to make a clear picture, only these ones you saw fit
Now you wanna keep believing in the fantasy you synthesized of her.

BPD is real; she was real (if she had this condition)
IMO, you are the one who wasn't "real".
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 5
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 2:00:46 AM
It wasn't all an illusion. She was and is ALL those people, and many others who haven't emerged yet. Stop blaming yourself. You 'll never figure those types out. Thats what phyc hostpitals are for. :)
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 6
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 3:53:45 AM
I think you are stretching with the disorder diagnosis,though I would agree a lot of women ride the fence with BPD, ahaha...

You are basically explaining a very common scenario, girl likes boy, girl pretends to like what boy likes, girl moves in with boy, girl is busted for not liking what boy likes, girl plays mind games with boy, girl and boy break up...

I think your non negative no anger or whatever policy,lol, hurt you in the relationship, as people need to express such feelings and also feel their partner understands them on certain emotional levels, rather than by pass certain emotions all together...

Once it is over, ever past is simply an illusion...
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 7
view profile
History
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 4:16:42 AM

How do you get over someone who wasn't real?


OP we all have needs. Her true personality made it difficult for her to sustain friends/work/etc so she became who you needed her to be so she could have a 'somewhat' normal life. You are right, she could keep up the act when you lived apart but the veener could not be sustained day in and day out when you lived together.

You also have a need for mutuality and connection and this blinded you to the hints/gut feeling signals that emerged from time to time with her.

As other posters said it will take time and good friends to help you heal from this relational betrayal. I hope in therapy you find self compassion and the wisdom to understand that not all relationships are like this (unless of course you seem to attract unstable women). Also keep in mind that lots of people get involved with people who have "issues' such as addictions, personality disorder etc. it doesn't mean these people are not real, it simply means we are only experiencing, through time a more complete picture of the person vs the snap shot we see when we first get involved with someone. Try not to have a mindset that it's an all or nothing situation about this. It will make it harder for you.

All the best,
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 8
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 4:35:59 AM
This, for some reason, haunts me...its like being 5 and being told Santa isn't real, never was, just someone in a red suit. You still want to keep believing.

that's like being stuck in the "denial" phase. it happens. one day you'll get tired of trying to hang onto something you thought you lost but never really had, and then your memories of that relationship will still be very selective, but in a different way, and your feelings about it will shift accordingly. sometimes that shift can be very sudden; sometimes it sneaks up on you slowly. but in the end, you'll put both versions you had of her inside your head together into an integrated whole that more or less represents reality as it has presented itself to you, and you'll stop being so selective about it, and then you'll finally be able to move on.

in the meantime, do yourself a favor and put your plans to find your next partner on hold until your counseling is completed. if you're still haunted by an ex, you aren't emotionally available for anyone else even though you might believe that you totally can be.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 9
view profile
History
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 4:44:39 AM
OP, I was married for 20 years to such a person. That was more than enough to permanently ween me off of any romanticization or other worry that might make me worry as you do.

What your problem boils down to is quite simple: you really DON'T believe what you are saying here yet. Specifically, you DON'T believe that you fell in love with an imaginary person. You think that the princess is real, and being held captive in that high tower of her own mental illness, and that by walking away you are failing in your role as a rescuing lover.

My ex did make things a little easier for me in one way. She has never once apologized for her behaviors when in "demon" mode, to anyone, especially to me, so I have nothing that I can use to fool myself that she did ever actually love me at all.

Focus on yourself, and your actual thinking about her. When you DO truly believe that she is 100% always the total (albeit fractured) partial personality that you experienced, you will find that though it still hurts, that you will have no trouble remaining permanently apart from her.
 import_from_UK
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 10
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 6:11:51 AM
I too was married to someone like this - for over ten years. In hindsight, I knew about three years in, but by then, we were living in a different country to that we were born in, I was a stay-at-home parent with no experience here, no credit rating and out of date skills. I thought my best option was to maintain the illusion for the children and to live with the choices I made.

It was a sad, lonely and isolating existence where I gradually become invisible and had no voice and it took a significant event for me to realize how damaging it was to the children and that they would be better off out from a broken home rather than in one.

All that said, it wasn't until gathering the paper work for a divorce, some of which had to be acquired from England that the level of deception truly came to light. I remember the shock and the anger and the betrayal I felt which I shouldn't have really because he'd shown me who he was, I just didn't believe the depth of it.

For me, understanding that the man I thought I'd married simply didn't exist, was a huge step. I spent many hours wandering what was real and what wasn't and it did get to the stage that I had to dismiss every word he'd spoken. I recall asking him face to face about an event which I knew the answer to, and he lied right to my face, without flinching and it was flawless.

You know you are better off without this person in your life. Someone who lives in a fantasy world and drags you in, reduces the meaning in everything. Once you look at the logic and understand you were dealing with an illusion, there is nothing to grieve because there was nothing real which was lost.

When you understand that you are better off out of it, and that finally, the drama is someone else's problem, all you feel is pity for anyone new they get involved with and complete indifference to them. You will get there. You'll get there faster when you understand you haven't lost anything because they never gave you anything.
 Voyager58
Joined: 4/24/2013
Msg: 11
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 7:08:18 AM

You know you are better off without this person in your life. Someone who lives in a fantasy world and drags you in, reduces the meaning in everything. Once you look at the logic and understand you were dealing with an illusion, there is nothing to grieve because there was nothing real which was lost.


That is what's difficult to comprehend....just what was real and what wasn't...a month after I met her she said she had never eaten Chinese Food, I take her to a Chinese Restaurant and she likes it, yet 2 months later she points at a Chinese Restaurant near her former matrimonial home and says, "That's where XX and I used to eat Chinese food all the time..."
I love going to the airport and watching the planes land..."Really, OMG, so do I, I did it all the time too"
"...hello babies, I tickle your belly!!!"
(saying this when we'd go to the airport to watch the planes land)...
In essence and hindsight, I realized she became me, mirrored me in every way:

[url]http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/Mirroring.html[/url]

Why I'm posting this, after months of being apart and having the facts come to light, it's as if I am going into some kind of shock....that I was deceived - not on purpose.

She would talk to me about her aunts and uncles and sisters and cousins and neighbours and coworkers and all their accomplishments , yet say very little about herself, and get mad at me when I asked about her past and childhood too much.

i used a Santa analogy, perhaps it wasn't right. It feels more like having your biological parents tell you that you were adopted and everything you were led to believe was a fabricated lie.

Some handle this better than others...I am not as strong it seems. In time of course, in time...
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 12
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 8:00:44 AM
all of it was real. this is what reality is like when you get involved with someone who has a personality disorder, it's like a recurring nightmare in a house of mirrors, punctuated by the occasional orgasm.
 Voyager58
Joined: 4/24/2013
Msg: 13
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 8:34:16 AM
Trying to avoid thinking about it, which is nearly impossible, and having recurring bouts of nausea when I recall times when she "had to work late" until 9 - 10 PM after our "In a relationship with" was taken down, 4 months before she moved out, or around the same time she met/got close to her current "friend".
And all this after telling me every week, twice a week, for 3 years, "I will never lie to you or betray you or leave you like others did".
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 14
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 8:44:59 AM
voyager, you may be struggling with this one for a little while. give yourself all the time you need to come to terms with it. if somebody told me twice a week that they'd never lie to me, my radar would have to be on full alert for the elaborate lies that I knew would have to be coming. it's sorta like if you had a best friend who kept telling you they'd never steal from you... you'd wonder why they felt like they had to keep saying it and you'd better start checking your wallet. i'm just saying there were clearly some things going on here that are only becoming fully apparent to you now with 20-20 hindsight, that you couldn't see at the time. the nausea is unfortunately part of the recovery plan, but it's only temporary. it's sort of like an emotional detox.

if you could endure that relationship, you can fully put it behind you as well but it's not going to happen overnight.

i'm probably stretching to connect the dots here, but this woman sounds like she has some kind of multiple personality disorder.... the childhood abuse, the compartmentalization, the triggers, the radical personality shifts.... anyway it doesn't really matter... someone who is that screwed up in the head is not even psychologically capable of being anything more than exactly what they are. so eventually you'll find a way to forgive her -- not because you approved of the behavior but because that's what will allow you to really let go and move on.
 Voyager58
Joined: 4/24/2013
Msg: 15
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 9:57:08 AM
@motown_cowgirl

You know what, the warning signs were all there, right from her 'falling in love" 5 hours into the first date, and more, much more.....I would consult my "posse" for advice, and they all would reply with, "Oh, give it a chance, don't be so picky, she is a sweet girl, you deserve love"

So I listened to advice....plus, she was relentless....we joked about her being a stalker, I have all the emails in the hotmail archives, 3188 emails from March 2009 when we met until August 2011 when she moved in. 30 months, that's 100 a day!!!! Not to mention the close to 1000 text messages. And nightly video chats on MSN....and together every weekend.
Even stalkers and weirdos and creeps and losers need love.....sometimes lack of this love when younger made them this way.
I guarantee you that there isn't a 10 year old alive who, while playing barbie or Street hockey, stopped and said to their friends, "hey, when I'm 41, I will make my partners life living hell, have drug addiction, get arrested on COPS and possibly be on psych meds.
Life does that to most.
Did any of us ever think we would be debating life issues on a dating site forum the day we said "I Do!" for the first time?? LOL
She is not a bad person. Not condoning or defending.
BPD.....all there is to it.
I do thank for the supportive comments...it's done wonders this morning....breathing a bit easier.
 Voyager58
Joined: 4/24/2013
Msg: 16
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 10:48:50 AM
I failed my math...thats about 5 a day including texts, not 100....I hang my head in shame!
 import_from_UK
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 17
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 11:00:21 AM
This person would have made up lies for everything - To appear more interesting, to appear more intelligent, to appear any manner of way which they felt mattered. After all, it's easier for them to lie then make the change they think others want them to be...remember it's not actually a change they want or feel any benefit in being, it's a change they perceive will give them what they want.

When I met my ex, he informed he that he'd changed his name many years ago from his Polish born name to the one he currently had. (His middle name remained Polish). When we divorced and I needed birth certificates for us both because we were divorcing in a country we emigrated to, I couldn't locate one. Eventually, I found a person born on his DOB, with his first and middle names but a different surname. Everything else matches. Parents names, etc. Using that, I double checked by locating his sister's birth certification and sure enough, the surname he'd said he was born with, had never been his surname. In the UK, when a marriage occurs, the father's name for both bride and groom appears on the marriage certificate, so he'd lied to be from the very beginning.

My ex had always claimed he was highly allergic to rice to the level of being hospitalized as a child. Every cereal bar which came into the house was heavily scrutinized and there was hell to pay for placing him in danger if this ingredient were missed. Barely a month after getting a new girlfriend, the children reported their Dad happily munching on rice as part of a Chinese take-away they had.

I booked out wedding date after together we had reduced the wished for date into certain dates in July. Only on our first anniversary was I informed it was the anniversary of his father's death and he would never celebrate the day as it seemed disrespectful to his late father. Had I known, it could have easily been changed. After my divorce, my youngest son was tracing the family tree and turned to his Aunt for assistance with his side. The date of death of my ex's father was no where near July - just one more lie to give a reason for not doing something he didn't want to and a lie which I was in no position to argue with "as my father was alive and well and I didn't understand what that loss was like" - my exes words not mine.

I can give you thousands of examples of this sort of behavior. Selfish, mean, dishonest justifications for doing what he wanted. You will never unravel all the lies. It's far simpler to accept the fact is was all or mainly just lies and let it go. You'll drive yourself insane trying to shift through it all and it'll cost you further years of your life to no avail.

You can't apply logic when dealing with illogical people and you can't figure out reasons when dealing with the unreasonable. Just know these people aren't that common and the odds of you coming across another capable of the same level of deception are very remote. In the unlikely event you do, you'll be more aware and less enabling but don't let this person steal any more of your future. They have already stolen a significant amount of your past.
 Voyager58
Joined: 4/24/2013
Msg: 18
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 11:28:19 AM

Don't let this person steal any more of your future. They have already stolen a significant amount of your past.


Not without my own issues and demons, I thought there was something significantly wrong with me 2 years ago, so a month before she moved in, I attended therapy, to understand why 30 seconds after she had left my house after an awesome weekend together, I had zero attachment or longing for her. It became a joke between us, as I was convinced I was the one with emotional attachment issues. She would say, "You'll forget I was ever here before I reach the stop sign!", and I would reply with , "No, more like 3 houses down!"...
Turns out, because she was fake, acting out a character, I never developed those strong feelings of dependent love. After spending a weekend together, dancing, dinners, long drives, when she left, or I left her place, it was as if she never existed....there were no lingering memories, nothing making me wish the weekend would not end.
Now it makes sense. The person in my house was a fictitious character. One does not form an attachment to a character in a movie either.
After she moved in, and we were with each other 24/7, then my feelings for her intensified. Then after 6 months, the fade out began. I was devastated the day she left, felt like the person closest to me had died. But, 48 hours later, it was as if she was never there.
She never really moved in either. most of her stuff was in a storage unit. But her beautiful prints and artwork and decorations, all remained in bubble wrap for the duration. My house looks the same today as it did when she lived with me, as it did 3 - 20 - 30 months before she moved in....I made it clear it was OUR house, and she was free to do what she wanted. No offers to repaint, redecorate, move this from here to there, NOTHING!
She nested, as if putting in time.
Yet all the while reassuring me , "I love you, I will never leave you, I never lied to you."

Wow....
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 19
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 3:08:41 PM

I spent many hours wandering [sic] what was real and what wasn't and it did get to the stage that I had to dismiss every word he'd spoken. I recall asking him face to face about an event which I knew the answer to, and he lied right to my face, without flinching and it was flawless. -- import_from_uk


My father was like this. He was also a bit of a Jekyll-and-Hyde character. He could turn on a sixpence and be an entirely different person. My mother and I were his 'subjects.' He battered us senseless when he had a mind to, which was often. I don't blame the drink. I blame him. I'm not one of these 'forgive the criminal and blame the crime' type of people. He was an absolutely b--------d. He cheated on my mother as if it was perfectly normal behaviour, a sick, weak, bedridden woman who depended upon his honesty in all things.

They say that we choose the life we are born into in order to 'grow'. My mother should be Hercules in the next life.

Blessings to everyone.
- Peter
 GingersnapWA2
Joined: 11/26/2009
Msg: 20
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 10:10:12 PM
I understand your pain, Voyager, because I had a similar experience ten years ago. We had been married for a year when my now ex-spouse was "outed" by a veteran's group (The guy claimed to have PTSD from combat, but really had BPD & was only in the military briefly, no combat time.) Every single thing he told me about himself was a lie, except his name & his family member's names. He also lied about day-to-day occurences, finances, etc. My ex blamed his behavior on his alcoholic father, his parents divorce, etc. However, I believe the only one who is responsible for our behavior is Ourselves - Keep in mind that woman Chose to deceive her way in to your heart- her parents weren't standing over her Forcing her to be something she wasn't. Plenty of people who grow up in very disfunctional families choose to become honest, decent human beings.
How does one get over this kind of heartbreak? It takes a lot of time, and a lot of inner work. Counseling helped me, as well as attending a divorce recovery class. I also realized I had an issue with co-dependency (being a 'rescuer') that I needed to work through. I now approach dating more pragmatically, & am committed to taking time to really get to know someone, rather than just plunging in head (or rather hormones) first. I can also recommend some helpful books: "How Could You Do This To Me?" By Dr. Jane Greer, "When Your Lover is a Liar" by Susan Forward, and "Co-Dependent No More" by MelodyBeattie. Another good book that came out just recently is "Life Code"by Phil McGraw.
 toogoodtobdwn
Joined: 5/7/2013
Msg: 21
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/10/2013 10:30:37 PM
its hard, I know i went through it 7 months ago,,he faked the whole relationship, had a dark side going,,major porn addiction, discreet sex sites and cheating..I had a gut feeling and I was right..it sux to give your all and your heart only to have it tossed around like trash..Just know everyone isnt like these people,,we just had the misfortune of crossing their paths
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 22
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/11/2013 6:56:48 PM
you seem to be a good writer . why dont you write a book on her . make millions . everybody has dream and you just woke up from your dream. back to reality . love to face the fact that no one is perfect .
 or_current_resident
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 23
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/12/2013 4:42:43 PM

6 break ups in 16 months, dozens of episodes of anger, irrational behavior and negativity but you always came crawling back asking for more.
I would be far more concerned with why you let this happen, then to try and diagnose her problems


Ya think cr-0308! Amen lol
imo, for the op being lonely etc, & pretend its all good, will only mess up your picker more for sure as many of us have done the same thing in the past.
Yet we all at one time probably stayed too long in a relationship that was only going horizontal but not up. As in a true bonding.....But for many, are only looking for a play partner[ band-aid] that can only go so far,till the fat lady sings you into reality. dam-um!

Better luck next thing in finding the Real Deal OP.......as they are out there trust me,just be patience it will happened when u least expect.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 24
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/12/2013 7:46:36 PM
I had a number pulled by a bipolar. They become addictive. I ended going to therapy for a year. Well, still going to therapy, but I am totally over.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 25
How do you get over someone who wasn't real?
Posted: 6/14/2013 6:51:54 AM
I meet my mr perfect n wonderfully on here to. N although he said he want to see me more n I'm it he would still go on POF and look for better. And as much as I want to hate him I can't bc I relly started to care for a person that doesn't exist. It will be hard today n tomorrow n maybe even week after but it will get better overtime
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