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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What about for the people who don't want kids?      Home login  
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 funkMasterMu
Joined: 6/5/2013
Msg: 1
What about for the people who don't want kids?Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I'll express mine. I feel that kids are an anchor, financially and freedom-wise. I believe one could do what they want, when they want, without having to find a babysitter, for example. I don't see the reward for having kids, etc.

The people who don't want kids in or around my area (and surrounding cities, even as far as LA) are very small compared to the girls who want kids.

Any other dating sites, for people who don't want and have kids? (I've already checked Google)

PS - I'd try to pick up girls IRL, but unless they have a sign above their head that says "Doesn't want kids 0r have kids." (which is impossible, lol)...so I thought dating sites would be best because you already know what a girl wants for the most part.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 2
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/1/2013 8:33:14 PM
funkMasterMu...the topic of children was one of the main reasons for my breakup with my last GF before my current one. She had a vague interest in children when we first met, yet by the time we split, she couldn't complete a single sentence without talking about having babies. Kids are fantastic, yet they're certainly not for everyone. Additionally, those who choose not to bring children into this world are doing just that...they're making a choice that suits them.

Acquaintances have shockingly told me that I am selfish because of my decision not to include infants in my life! Is that the craziest thing, or what? Who cares if a person opts not to have offspring of their own. At my current age of 45 years, the last thing I wish to contemplate is diapers, pre-schools, babysitters, and saving for future college tuition. Like I said, children might be very rewarding...yet not at this time for this man.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 3
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/1/2013 8:35:10 PM

you already know what a girl wants for the most part.


Which is the equivalent of a guy saying he understands women.
 funkMasterMu
Joined: 6/5/2013
Msg: 4
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/1/2013 8:39:07 PM
You can gain lots more basic knowledge from this website about an individual in a fraction of the time it takes to talk to a female in public. (hobbies, kids/no kids, drinking habits if any, smoker/non-smoker, etc.) I'm terrible with women, lol.

Kids are little bundles of joy. I am always friendly in their presence, but I couldn't handle them 24/7
True, it is better to know up front so one doesn't waste their time. :)
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 5
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/1/2013 9:04:49 PM
Your feelings may change over time.

I was adamant that I did NOT want kids until my biological clock began ticking at age 30. For seven years my husband and I danced back-and-forth around having a child. When he wanted a child, I didn't. When I did, he was against it. My joke is during the 10 minutes we agreed, we conceived.

Claire was born when I was 36 and her father was 40.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 6
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/1/2013 9:21:35 PM
I recently posted this in Facebook;
"I was dozing off to sleep tonight, when I was awoken by the sound outside of a cat being attacked by some wild animal. No, wait, that's just the four-year-old across the street having an I-Don't-Wanna-Go-To-Bed hissy fit. Never mind."
--------------------------
Kids are not for everyone, but that choice in their profile of kids/no kids is NOT always going to be black and white. Some women may not want kids RIGHT NOW, but eventually in a couple years they might. Knowing 'up front' seems like a good idea to 'weed' out 'with kid' candidates, but what happens if you decide to have sex and accidentally get her knocked up? I doubt their profile text is going to explain THAT situation very effectively.

Profiles are little more than personal ads. In MY case, ladies in their late 30s or 40s may already have kids, but if the kids are in their late teens or already in college, it doesn't mean they are going to be around very much. Some won't tell you their kids' ages in a profile - but the difference between a six-year-old and a sixteen-year-old is MASSIVE; and so is the difference between 1 or 2 kids and 5 or 6. You or I won't know that kind of stuff unless we ASK them.



You can gain lots more basic knowledge from this website about an individual in a fraction of the time it takes to talk to a female in public. (hobbies, kids/no kids, drinking habits if any, smoker/non-smoker, etc.) I'm terrible with women, lol.

Well, even if this site listed their favorite colognes, brand of dildos or their bra size, it still doesn't tell you WHO they really ARE. You're still going to have to deal with real humans eventually if you really want to date them. I can get more information in an hour of friendly chat over a cup of coffee than I could in six weeks of texting and emails. People can lie their brains out online if they want - but it's a lot harder to B.S. someone straight to their face.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 7
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/1/2013 9:30:58 PM
It is not as uncommon as you think. None of my co-workers or friends (+50), wish to have children. Focus on young professionals who don't already have children.

I've never seen a need for me to have a child, I enjoyed my nieces and nephew's arrival to the world, but I don't want my own. My only gripe is that if I become pregnant (I'm 28), I wouldn't risk my life or health by having an abortion, I'd have it. That may be tough for a man to deal with, so he has to do his part as well (get a vasectomy and use condoms). Women don't have the option for sterilization unless they've already had children.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 8
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What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/1/2013 9:53:12 PM
Wise choice for you.

My son feels the same way, he too is on here. He let's the ladies know upfront and seems to find some great ladies who feel the same.

I think children are not as for front as they once were...just look how families once had 16/18, 3/4 to 1/none kids.

When you get older you may change this thought and maybe not...sometimes you don't have a choice ;) careful.

Enjoy your life no matter if you have or don't have kids.
 funkMasterMu
Joined: 6/5/2013
Msg: 9
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/1/2013 10:17:10 PM

Your feelings may change over time.

No, they won't. Not with this subject. Its a huge life changer. Sleepless nights, more money, and just the whole process along with problems that arise of the "growing up phase." I couldn't wait to be an adult, out of my mom's house, finish the "growing up phase" of life with siblings. If I want to hit the gym, and get a full 8 hours of uninterruped sleep, I can count on it. If I want to take a Vegas trip (3.5 hour drive) and not have to worry about anything, I can. I can also barely afford myself, let alone another mouth. :P


Some women may not want kids RIGHT NOW, but eventually in a couple years they might. Knowing 'up front' seems like a good idea to 'weed' out 'with kid' candidates...


Sadly, the "advanced search" option is the only tool I can think of to weed 'em out, lol.


but what happens if you decide to have sex and accidentally get her knocked up?


If that happened, I would probably have a nervous breakdown, and would never live life happy.


I can get more information in an hour of friendly chat over a cup of coffee than I could in six weeks of texting and emails. People can lie their brains out online if they want - but it's a lot harder to B.S. someone straight to their face.


Of course, human interaction is much better. But like I stated, BASIC things like "smoker/non smoker" or any other field that is filled in with a drop-down box, does make it easier to eventually connect with someone.


That may be tough for a man to deal with, so he has to do his part as well (get a vasectomy and use condoms).

Not enough money for the snippy snip...and can't feel anything nor finish with a condom on...haha. :P


Women don't have the option for sterilization unless they've already had children.


Lame. Kinda' sexist if you ask me. They should pass a law that allows such a thing.

I see a hot girl in public. I think "damn!", then I see her pushing a kid in a stroller. Then I think "never mind..not now, not ever, lol."

Not having kids is NOT selfish. The world is already over populated, and each day its getting worse. Ever wonder what great, fun things a person could do that doesn't have kids? It's called "whatever you wanna' do." :P

Thanks for your input, folks! :)
 funkMasterMu
Joined: 6/5/2013
Msg: 10
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/1/2013 10:39:27 PM

So what happens when you get a girl that says she doesn't want kids, then pulls the 'oops I must have forgotten a pill'

If YOU don't want kids then YOU should make sure you do all you can to stop that happening.


I always wear a condom. Always. Sex is usually mediocre. So one night stands are not my thing. (they were never my things on because the lack of emotion after the one night) Sex also rarely happens. Once every six months to a year. Lol.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 11
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What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/1/2013 10:43:54 PM
My son says the same., his feelings will never change.

To bad you don't live in Canada...free snip...my son already looked into it.

Don't let anyone say you are selfish for I feel if you don't want kids and are safe better that, than having them and bailing.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 12
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What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 6:09:35 AM
Get a vasectomy, REALLY protect yourself from unwanted pregnancies.

I know two couples in their 50's married, happy, no kids, they are both well educated and travel frequently. Both women knew they did not want kids when I met them in college.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 13
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What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 6:51:22 AM

To bad you don't live in Canada...free snip...


Oh Canada...

With our planet already overpopulated, vasectomies should be free or at least very affordable. Canada rules!
 Kellticman72
Joined: 1/5/2013
Msg: 14
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 7:37:24 AM
Everyone is entitled to their own choices in life. Don't let anyone try to change your mind. It will limit your choices, but I know lots of women who don't want kids. It is hard to raise kids and its not for everyone. I applaud you for knowing what your limitations are. Keep looking. On some sites their are filter for people who don't want children.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 15
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 8:01:21 AM
Agree saharam 100% about people in their 20's. Some people do not want children and continue after they are older to not want children and that is fine, their decision. Whatever the reasons for that decision doesn't matter. But to make a permanent decision when you are in your 20's is too early. Make good decisions as far as condoms and other birth control and be responsible. Not having children, if that is what you continue to believe, will still be intact. OP, you write that you barely have enough money to feed yourself, let alone another mouth. I respect that and sounds like you understand what you can or can't afford. Let's look at it another way. Right now it sounds like you are not ready to settle down or even look for a relationship because like you say, your financial ability to do so is not there yet. And you may have other reasons, all good ones. My point is you see where you are now as far as funds etc, but that very well will change and you will financially be a lot better then you are now. Meaning from that is it is not permanent right now, things will change. Your views on children could change. For anyone to look down on or say you absolutely will change your mind is very wrong, all I am saying is stay responsible. The permanent decisions are down the road, not in your 20's. Doesn't stop you at all for having your views and beliefs.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 16
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 8:08:34 AM

Your feelings may change over time.


This is the standard idiotic nonsense breeders always tell people who are using their brains instead being sheeple and just mindlessly breeding for no reason other than that's what they're expected to do. I bet there are a lot of people who regret having kids, but they will never tell you because it's not considered proper to say it was a mistake to have kids. There is no return policy on kids if you change your mind after having kids.




Mid 20's seems a bit early to make a permanent decision not to have children.


So what is the perfect age to make that decision? Most people know at an early age if they want kids someday and usually stick to that. What is the perfect age to know that you want to have kids? Is mid 20's too early to know if you want to have kids? There is no specific age where people must know if they want to breed or not. Which decision is more permanent: having kids or not having kids?

What I find very annoying about the issue of breeding is when I hear people like Al Gore and others who claim to be concerned about the environment,saving natural resources, saving the planet and all of that good stuff, who go ahead and have kids, which adds to the problem of creating more resource sucking consumers for decades and contributing to overpopulation which is killing the planet. It's very hypocritical to claim to be concerned about the environment while contributing to the problem.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 17
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 8:12:33 AM

The people who don't want kids in or around my area (and surrounding cities, even as far as LA) are very small compared to the girls who want kids.


Wait a bit. Once those girls grow up to be women, they'll realize,by that time, they don't want kids anymore either. Patience.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 18
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What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 8:54:11 AM
The more money people make, the more skilled and talented they are, the higher their IQ is, the least childbearing they do, on average, and dramatically.

This works on dating sites as well. Women who are professional, college educated, and make >70k a year are generally less interested in having children. The more you date in that range, the less you run into people wanting to procreate.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 19
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 9:16:34 AM

My son says the same., his feelings will never change.

To bad you don't live in Canada...free snip...my son already looked into it.

Don't let anyone say you are selfish for I feel if you don't want kids and are safe better that, than having them and bailing.


Great in theory but in the great white north a man can be saddled with another mans child even if he gets snipped.

Up there if you are just living with a woman that gets pregnant you get the job of daddy including the obligation of child support.

It was like that in a few states in the US and some still may have the archaic laws.

I am a big fan of the vasectomy however a few days of discomfort for a lifetime of peace of mind.

Just know the laws on this where you live.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 20
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What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 9:33:36 AM
^^^ Where did I quote any laws in the Great Northwest? Yes it can happen perhaps this is why my son remains single. By the way...our laws suck unless you are a murder...life in jail means your are out in 5.



This is the standard idiotic nonsense breeders always tell people


Nope it's human nature to change their minds...as a matter of fact the human brain changes around the age of 25.
So he may change his thinking...who knows.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 21
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 9:52:44 AM

^^^ Where did I quote any laws in the Great Northwest? Yes it can happen perhaps this is why my son remains single. By the way...our laws suck unless you are a murder...life in jail means your are out in 5.


You didn't quote laws but you did promote the free vasectomy from the government. As it was a cure all to getting saddled with kids you don't want.
I was just pointing out even with the free vasectomy it is very easy to be found paying for kids you not only didn't want but kids you didn't even sire.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 22
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 9:54:38 AM

Great in theory but in the great white north a man can be saddled with another mans child even if he gets snipped.
Up there if you are just living with a woman that gets pregnant you get the job of daddy including the obligation of child support.


I don't know about that. Let's say I was living with a woman, I had the big V and she got pregnant by another man, and I found out she's pregnant and immediately leave her before the baby is born. How would I be on the hook if we're no longer together and the kid isn't mine? I agree that if a guy is with a woman who gets pregnant by another guy and he stays living with her and the baby daddy is gone, the courts want someone/anyone to pay for the kid. It doesn't matter to the courts who pays. But I don't know why a guy would stick around in that situation, especially knowing he could be on the hook for 18 years of child support for someone else's kid.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 23
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 10:01:44 AM

I was just pointing out even with the free vasectomy it is very easy to be found paying for kids you not only didn't want but kids you didn't even sire.


I don't think you will find it "easy" finding people paying for kids you didn't "want" or "sire". You got "part" of the law right, just not all of it.

You don't "magically" become responsible for a child up here in Canada but, I do know you will believe what you want. I would suggest, if you do want to believe "something" know it "all" of that something before you start repeating.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 24
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 10:06:25 AM

I don't know about that. Let's say I was living with a woman, I had the big V and she got pregnant by another man, and I found out she's pregnant and immediately leave her before the baby is born. How would I be on the hook if we're no longer together and the kid isn't mine? I agree that if a guy is with a woman who gets pregnant by another guy and he stays living with her and the baby daddy is gone, the courts want someone/anyone to pay for the kid. It doesn't matter to the courts who pays. But I don't know why a guy would stick around in that situation, especially knowing he could be on the hook for 18 years of child support for someone else's kid.


You might want to check case law on this as you said the court wants someone to pay if she can prove you were that last one living with her guess who they go after.

Also you can be made to pay support for a child that was already born when you met the lady if you you live with and support this child for any length of time.

Trust me I was surprised when I found this was the case up there. Makes me glad I live in a country that has laws to protect people from being scammed by the government on behalf of another person.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 25
What about for the people who don't want kids?
Posted: 8/2/2013 10:13:39 AM

I don't think you will find it "easy" finding people paying for kids you didn't "want" or "sire". You got "part" of the law right, just not all of it.

You don't "magically" become responsible for a child up here in Canada but, I do know you will believe what you want. I would suggest, if you do want to believe "something" know it "all" of that something before you start repeating.


No I believe what I know to be fact after researching the topic.

http://voices.yahoo.com/presumed-fathers-act-man-pay-child-support-507695.html?cat=25


Presumed Fathers Act: Should a Man Pay Child Support Even If He is Not the Biological Father?
Manda Spring
Manda Spring, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Sep 5, 2007 "Share your voice on Yahoo! websites. Start Here."
MORE:Child SupportSupports
FlagPost a comment
Yes, you read that title right. The Presumed Fathers Act. It may sound ludicrous to you but it is very real and the problems that it is causing are on the rise. Before I get into those that have been directly affected by this law let me take the time first to explain this law and how it can literally affect every man.
An 'acknowledged father' is the biological father of a child born and whom paternity has been established. This can be done by either admission or agreement between the parents. Obviously, an acknowledged father must pay child support if they do not have custody.

Now for the 'presumed father'. If any of the following situations occur then a man is presumed to be the father of a child in the eyes of the court.


One, the man was married to the mother when the child was conceived or born.

Two, a man attempted to marry the mother, whether the marriage was legal or not does not matter, if the child was conceived or born during this time he is the presumed father.

Three, the man married the mother after the conception or birth and has his name on the birth certificate.

Or four, a man had welcomed a child into his relationship and home and chose to call the child his own.



Here's the kicker, if a blood test proves that you are not the father, whether the real father is made known by proof or not, then the presumed father must still pay child support. Also, if the biological father is made known to the court he will not be obligated to pay child support but the custody and visitation will be shared only between the biological parents involved.

By law, a presumed father must pay child support.

"Under the Child Support Enforcement Act of 1984, it is against the law for any father, presumed or assumed, to not pay court ordered child support to the custodial guardian, regardless of joint custody


Walt you can try to say I will believe what I want but the above shows that I am going off of the laws not belief.
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