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 JaeCruz
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 1
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I need some on to critique my profilePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=54338847

I've never had a girlfriend before and this area is the hardest area for me. I've been researching a lot about having a good profile, need pictures with females friends, male friends, dong social activities, and so forth. I know but I don't know how to get any of that done. I'm in vocational school right now in Utah and it's hard to go out and do social things I don't even have a phone I have a Camera but that's it. Please help.
 StarshipNarrator
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 2
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I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/16/2013 8:06:26 PM

I'm looking for someone who is easy going and can enjoy the simple things in life. I don't like to over complicate things. I hope that this person can be close by, but situation is a secondary matter for me. I really want to find someone who can love me just as much as I would love them.


This is painfully generic and kind of alienates potential readers. It alienates because you've described a massive portion of the userbase; easy-going, enjoys simple things, reciprocates love. So, how can you make a wise decision between women if you don't really differentiate them? Secondly, relationships will always have their complications whether or not you like to make things complicated. I just see it as a little naivety on your part.


When you meet me the pleasure will be all yours.


This does nothing to actually describe what your expectations are, what you would hope to do on the first meet, etc. Again, it's really generic and doesn't make the reader feel what type of guy you'd be upon the first meet.

Basically, your Interest field has more specification than your own About Me. Switch it around. We cannot tweak something that doesn't exist. You need to write it first and then come back for tweaking. Find out what it is that you really want your reader to know and who they need to be.


I would go to coffee and sit and get to know the other persons life story. I enjoy people and learning as much as I can about them


Knowing someone's life story is pretty heavy subject matter for just the first meet. Coffee is trite. Come up with something else that is more active that still allows for conversation. Speaking of which, don't focus so much on just who they are in conversation. Try to talk about anything.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 3
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/17/2013 2:23:14 AM
You need new photos. Main without a hat. Second one you look miserable. Third one umm delete ASAP.
You should never have any "prefer not to say" on your profile, makes you seem like you've got something to hide.
Get rid of the crap from your interests box. Sleeping, hanging out, eating, driving, meeting people can all go.
Car N/A? You either do or you don't. There is no N/A unless you have a driving ban.

Full time student yet you put your profession as IT? Which is it? Second sentence makes no sense. Third is useless.
Second paragraph, Starship covered it.
Your profile says absolutely nothing about you whatsoever. You have some interesting and exciting interests up there, how about you say something interesting and fun about them? Where have you been canoeing? What do you enjoy about sky surfing? Come on man put in some effort.
First date, don't say "the other person". Say "you".
 sandytm
Joined: 9/25/2013
Msg: 4
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/17/2013 5:20:46 AM
1. Your photos are the first impression you make and you want it to be your best. Main pic should be a close up of a smiling Shamar, without any headgear or shades. Throw in a close full body shot of you doing one of your interests. We should be able to tell you are in the photos. No group, friend, family pics. No hand gestures either.
2. Read these tips http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1262627.aspx
3. How long are you going to be in Utah? Your profile shows you in California. Should you wait until you finish school? There is no shame in putting student as your profession.
4. Delete those interests Mark mentioned.
5. Women like a good balance between confidence and respect/manners. So your**** statement, "When you meet me the pleasure will be all yours," will make them pass you by.
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 5
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/17/2013 5:48:41 AM
Good morning
So why doesn't you location say UTAH if that's where you are?
Hope the posse isn't going along on dates with you - lost that picture.
You can get photos with your phone, get someone in class to snap some of you. Get some outdoor ones, k?
Interests - er, sleeping isn't much of one. Put some things a woman would enjoy doing... right now it is Buddy heavy.
You have some choppy sentences that are worded wrong so tidy that up.
Ii bet the pleasure would be all mine - however that comes across poorly.
 Netghost56
Joined: 2/16/2013
Msg: 6
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/17/2013 10:38:53 AM
As an IT tech I would tell you that you should focus on finishing your studies first. You've got some big goals, and dating is REALLY going to complicate things. I could have been a PM if I wasn't desperate.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 7
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/17/2013 3:48:12 PM
You have a lot of outdoorsy/action-y interests. Maybe get a picture of you doing one of them (or at least wearing the gear if you can't get an action shot). Next time you go boxing or sky diving or anything else, ask a friend or even a stranger to get a picture of you.

Are you okay with a non-athletic/outdoorsy woman? If so, add some other interests. Interests are searchable and a non-athletic woman probably isn't searching for a guy who canoes.

You mention traveling as one of your interests. Maybe expand on it in the About Me section. Where are some places you have been? How often do you travel? Where's next on your list?

I agree with the car question. You have one or you don't. You're a full-time student; it's more than understandable if you are not able to afford a car or the upkeep for a car right now.


I'm looking for someone who is easy going and can enjoy the simple things in life. I don't like to over complicate things.

This is pretty generic.


When you meet me the pleasure will be all yours.

This is an incredibly arrogant sentence.

I don't know where you have been doing your research, but pictures with other people aren't always the best. Female friends can be a negative especially if you're standing very close to them. Pictures with male friends can backfire too if your friend appears to be more attractive. Plus, your friends may not want their picture online.
 JaeCruz
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 8
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I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/17/2013 7:29:20 PM

This is painfully generic and kind of alienates potential readers. It alienates because you've described a massive portion of the userbase; easy-going, enjoys simple things, reciprocates love. So, how can you make a wise decision between women if you don't really differentiate them? Secondly, relationships will always have their complications whether or not you like to make things complicated. I just see it as a little naivety on your part.


So what should I put about the women I'm looking to date? I don't even know what type of women I like outside of looks. I like fit women, women who are girly but I have no experience to know what I really want.


This does nothing to actually describe what your expectations are, what you would hope to do on the first meet, etc. Again, it's really generic and doesn't make the reader feel what type of guy you'd be upon the first meet.

Basically, your Interest field has more specification than your own About Me. Switch it around. We cannot tweak something that doesn't exist. You need to write it first and then come back for tweaking. Find out what it is that you really want your reader to know and who they need to be.


Here's what I know about me. Right now I'm in Utah at Clearfield Job Corps taking Computer Repair so I can become CompTia certified so I can enter the IT industry and go to college. I'm athletic right now I training in just Weight training but before I came to Utah I used to do Muay Thai. I have an interest in traveling, skydiving, sky surfing, hiking, and all these activities after I complete my trade I will pursue. Right now I don't do any Muay Thai unless it's a little shadow boxing unfortunately. I plan to get back into full swing and possibly have a couple of amateur fights.

My motivation

I'm looking for a woman who I can grow from I need to get this part of my life out of the way. I'd like to meet a woman who is interested in working out so we can train together. I'd also be interesting to meet someone who interested in Muay Thai/Martial Arts so we can train in that also and I'd be nice to have someone to talk about Martial Arts with but that's not a must. I like girly girl's too just as long as she take care of herself too.



Knowing someone's life story is pretty heavy subject matter for just the first meet. Coffee is trite. Come up with something else that is more active that still allows for conversation. Speaking of which, don't focus so much on just who they are in conversation. Try to talk about anything.


I guess I could say just grab a cup of coffee or just meet up and let's see where things go.


You need new photos. Main without a hat. Second one you look miserable. Third one umm delete ASAP.
You should never have any "prefer not to say" on your profile, makes you seem like you've got something to hide.
Get rid of the crap from your interests box. Sleeping, hanging out, eating, driving, meeting people can all go.
Car N/A? You either do or you don't. There is no N/A unless you have a driving ban.


Damn are my photo's so bad? What's really wrong with them? Is it my pose or just my facial expression. I'm really bad at taking pictures.


Full time student yet you put your profession as IT? Which is it? Second sentence makes no sense. Third is useless.

Second paragraph, Starship covered it.
Your profile says absolutely nothing about you whatsoever. You have some interesting and exciting interests up there, how about you say something interesting and fun about them? Where have you been canoeing? What do you enjoy about sky surfing? Come on man put in some effort.


Some of those I plan to do very soon but right now I can't do any of them because of the economy so I'm at job corps fighting for a future.


First date, don't say "the other person". Say "you".

Thanks.


1. Your photos are the first impression you make and you want it to be your best. Main pic should be a close up of a smiling Shamar, without any headgear or shades. Throw in a close full body shot of you doing one of your interests. We should be able to tell you are in the photos. No group, friend, family pics. No hand gestures either.


Can't because I'm not at home and the gym I went to is at home. It's hard to anything here in Utah especially this time of year.





How long are you going to be in Utah? Your profile shows you in California. Should you wait until you finish school?

A few more months when I get my certification I plan to return home.


There is no shame in putting student as your profession.

Maybe my problem is the fact I always have felt inferior to everyone else.


4. Delete those interests Mark mentioned.

Took care of them. Thanks.


5. Women like a good balance between confidence and respect/manners. So your**** statement, "When you meet me the pleasure will be all yours," will make them pass you by.

Will take care of that.


Good morning
So why doesn't you location say UTAH if that's where you are?
Hope the posse isn't going along on dates with you - lost that picture.
You can get photos with your phone, get someone in class to snap some of you. Get some outdoor ones, k?
Interests - er, sleeping isn't much of one. Put some things a woman would enjoy doing... right now it is Buddy heavy.
You have some choppy sentences that are worded wrong so tidy that up.
Ii bet the pleasure would be all mine - however that comes across poorly.


I dislike Utah with a passion. I haven't been able to do anything here.
What pose/picture?
We really don't go out doors around here anymore. It's getting really cold here in Utah but I guess I can take pics the next time I head to the movies, mall or somewhere. Have any suggestion where I should go for decent pics?
I find some interests women would like to do.
Sorry this is so complicated I'm trying to make things to go together.
Taking that off


Buy a phone. It's one of the few dating essentials.

I know that it is but it's going to have to wait until I leave job corps I don't make any money here because all my effort is going to class and can't get a part time job.


As an IT tech I would tell you that you should focus on finishing your studies first. You've got some big goals, and dating is REALLY going to complicate things. I could have been a PM if I wasn't desperate.

I know but this area of my life has always bothered me. It's the main reason I lack confidence in myself because I could never get this out of the way. I need to get this out of the way so I can really be more focused and confident. To be honest the only reason I'm pushing myself with big goals is to finally get a girlfriend.


You have a lot of outdoorsy/action-y interests. Maybe get a picture of you doing one of them (or at least wearing the gear if you can't get an action shot). Next time you go boxing or sky diving or anything else, ask a friend or even a stranger to get a picture of you.


Unfortunately I can't do any of them because of my location that will be taken care of within the next few months.


Are you okay with a non-athletic/outdoorsy woman? If so, add some other interests. Interests are searchable and a non-athletic woman probably isn't searching for a guy who canoes.


I really don't mind I know what I want in looks but I lack experience to know what I really want that's why I'm trying to date to find my likes and dislikes.


You mention traveling as one of your interests. Maybe expand on it in the About Me section. Where are some places you have been? How often do you travel? Where's next on your list?


The only places I've been are to California, Nevada, Utah, and Gerogia. I do plan to travel soon as I can finally get a job it's been ruff in this economy that's the reason I'm here at Job Corps.


I agree with the car question. You have one or you don't. You're a full-time student; it's more than understandable if you are not able to afford a car or the upkeep for a car right now.

I don't have one. Will be working on that.


This is pretty generic.

If I try to talk about anything else I'm scene as too boring because I don't have much personality.


This is an incredibly arrogant sentence.

I'll take it off


I don't know where you have been doing your research, but pictures with other people aren't always the best. Female friends can be a negative especially if you're standing very close to them. Pictures with male friends can backfire too if your friend appears to be more attractive. Plus, your friends may not want their picture online.


All over the internet. I can't find a decent place that tell me something good. They make everything overcomplicated like this about me someone gave me

"Im a vampire but dont be afraid i just want to have a few drinks from you,i mean with you and maybe a steak not to be confused with stake i hate them things they are so pointy. The light is so harsh so at night going to concerts is my thing it gets my pulse pumping as if i was alive. On other nights i like to fish under the stars with you starring into my hypnotic eyes but dont worry i wont bite,well maybe alittle. So if you wanna hang with this vampire and be my minion,you must not eat garlic or wear crucifixs they are deal breakers. Now if you took any of that seriously consider getting mental help
immediately! The truth is i am probably here for the same reason you are. to go out have fun and joke,if it turns into something more so be it.So if you wanna know more about me and are interested shoot me a email"

This is too much.


Female friends can be a negative especially if you're standing very close to them. Pictures with male friends can backfire too if your friend appears to be more attractive. Plus, your friends may not want their picture online.


I see women get the wrong impression. I thought it was good to have pictures with friends to show you're more social. So I guess you're saying my friends are more attractive than me. They really don't care. They said it's okay and they posted this on Facebook already.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 9
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/17/2013 10:10:17 PM
First of all, stop overthinking things. You have been given a lot of good advice but I sense that your head is spinning.

Are you sure you want to date when your life is so unstable right now? You are in school in Utah, which you hate. You will be gone in a couple of months--not exactly the time to date since no woman is going to invest in you just to have you leave her. Perhaps it would be better to wait until you are back in Cali.

You have no source of income and no phone. You can get a prepaid phone for $15 and service fir $25/mo or less. If you can't afford that, you can't afford to date. I'm serious. Every date you go on can't be walks in the park or around town; you will have to eventually go to an establishment. You need a job.

Interests list: has to be things you actually do now, not stuff you plan for the future. You can't put travelling if you've never traveled. Same for skydiving and surfing. Be honest. Things you want to try in the future is a great topic for actual conversations.

You need a healthy dose of self esteem. If you don't project confidence, a woman won't be interested. It's not something you can fake. Why don't you feel good about yourself? You are working hard towards a career and should be proud.
 JaeCruz
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 10
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I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/17/2013 11:33:18 PM

First of all, stop overthinking things. You have been given a lot of good advice but I sense that your head is spinning.


My head is spinning.


Are you sure you want to date when your life is so unstable right now? You are in school in Utah, which you hate. You will be gone in a couple of months--not exactly the time to date since no woman is going to invest in you just to have you leave her. Perhaps it would be better to wait until you are back in Cali.

I want to gain some experience I was hoping to meet somebody here or in California but then again you're right.


You have no source of income and no phone. You can get a prepaid phone for $15 and service fir $25/mo or less. If you can't afford that, you can't afford to date. I'm serious. Every date you go on can't be walks in the park or around town; you will have to eventually go to an establishment. You need a job.

Sad life of an American Man need a job to start dating which is what held me back for all these years because of an recession.


Interests list: has to be things you actually do now, not stuff you plan for the future. You can't put travelling if you've never traveled. Same for skydiving and surfing. Be honest. Things you want to try in the future is a great topic for actual conversations.

Interests cost money which is hard to come by in a recession. It's just an interest of mine. All I have are my dreams this economy seems to be trying to steal even that.


You need a healthy dose of self esteem. If you don't project confidence, a woman won't be interested. It's not something you can fake. Why don't you feel good about yourself? You are working hard towards a career and should be proud.


Why I don't feel go about myself it's a long story but to shorten it. I've been trying to sort this problem out since I was 16 I'm now 24 about to turn 25. I failed at dating in High School I weirded out the women I talked to or I lost their interest. I stayed focused and completed high school in hopes I could get a job then the recession hits. I try for years to find a job so I can finally change even now I'm at my vocational school it feels so far away. Everyone has experience except me and people expect me to be confident when I can't even get a job and when I can't even date because of no job.

Of course I'm not confident I've failed my entire life until now. I may have a career or I may not nothing is guaranteed at the end. Even now the women at my center look at me as some kind of freak even though I'm athletic and trying to make myself a better man. It's like everyone expects me to be a monster so why don't I grant their wish and be the biggest ***hole ever. Even the girls I like I think they look at me weird and avoid me. So what reason is there to feel confident about myself when my biggest weakness is my social skills and I can never work on them.

All I can do is stay focused so I can complete vocational school get Comptia certified and then return home to go to college if I'm lucky. You tell me why should I feel confident? I can fake it but until I can succeed at what I'm doing I dunno.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 11
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/18/2013 12:02:07 AM
You seem pretty good at making excuses for not changing.
Channel that energy into positive change and you'll do a lot better.
 JaeCruz
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 12
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I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/18/2013 5:11:57 AM
I seem good at making excuses? These are not excuses these are just setbacks that I'm talking about that are holding me back. It's so hard to go out there into the dating field if you can't get a job to get the financial stability and until now I didn't have a way to fight back.

I'm already channeling that energy into my studies so I can complete my vocational school. I just kinda want to gain some experience because I feel that's the main thing I'm lacking.

What would you have done in my situation?
 sandytm
Joined: 9/25/2013
Msg: 13
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/18/2013 5:35:07 AM
I'm proud of you for not allowing your circumstances to get in the way of your educational goals. You're not aware of how many teens don't date in high school. So, you're not the odd man out, even if it seemed like everyone around was dating.

Self-confidence is partially based on our successes. Not necessarily future professional success. But the small goals you have achieved to get there, persistence in the face of setbacks, work ethic.
Self-esteem is how you value yourself and the other part of confidence. It's difficult to get through school without it taking a beating. Reading Dale Carnegie was extremely helpful. I also started to see the world as bigger than myself and began believing, "There is always someone worse off than me. I am grateful for what I have."

Finish up in Utah, go on to college in CA, and look for a girlfriend there.


To clarify, my comment w/asterisks had no profanity. It was a word for arrogant.
5. Women like a good balance between confidence and respect/manners. So your**** statement, "When you meet me the pleasure will be all yours," will make them pass you by.
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 14
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/18/2013 6:15:49 AM
Hon.. an old adage but a true one
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
You are heading the right direction.. Just get a bit more mellow when it comes to the wild world of dating.
Not pose, I type Posse, the one with you and your friends that's the one I suggested you lose.
Brand new day today so make the very most of it.
You are handsome, get over the worrying and you with be fine. Oh and stop hating Utah = try and find some good things about it.
here's a cyber hug {{ }} stay strong, k?
 Netghost56
Joined: 2/16/2013
Msg: 15
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/18/2013 7:17:30 AM
We can't make excuses about things that's holding us back.

There's people out there that have lived out of their cars eating out of trashcans that have gone on to become millionaires.

They've ruined it for the rest of us struggling overachievers :P
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 16
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/18/2013 7:42:29 AM
What kind of experience are you trying to gain by dating? I get that you are socially awkward. No worries, lots of people are. Instead of trying to jump into the dating pool, try this: Go out into the world and talk to women. The cashier at the convenient store, women you are standing in line with, etc. Go to the bookstore, the library, the grocery store. We are everywhere!
You do have a defeatist attitude and until you turn that around, it will show. Feeling sorry for yourself isn't an attractive quality and is a turn off. Yes we are victims of circumstance, but we can make that a positive by learning from setbacks and becoming stronger because of it. You are too young to let life defeat you.

Yep, the economy is not great, but it's not to blame for your lack of success--you are. We can all rise above that and reach our goals if we try hard enough. There are jobs out there if you look. Might not be your ideal, but you've gotta start somewhere. Fear can hold you back from anything. Take the leap, look at where you want to be and make a plan on how to get there. Failures are just learning experiences. Take responsibility for yourself and your situation and tell yourself that giving up is not an option.
Remember that having a woman in your life is not a magical cure and it won't fix anything. If anything, it complicates. Gotta be ready and do the work on yourself before that happens.
 JaeCruz
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 17
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History
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/18/2013 10:20:36 PM

I'm proud of you for not allowing your circumstances to get in the way of your educational goals. You're not aware of how many teens don't date in high school. So, you're not the odd man out, even if it seemed like everyone around was dating.


At this point education is the most important thing in this world. It's pretty much the only thing that can lead me to experiencing true happiness.


Self-confidence is partially based on our successes. Not necessarily future professional success. But the small goals you have achieved to get there, persistence in the face of setbacks, work ethic.
Self-esteem is how you value yourself and the other part of confidence. It's difficult to get through school without it taking a beating. Reading Dale Carnegie was extremely helpful. I also started to see the world as bigger than myself and began believing, "There is always someone worse off than me. I am grateful for what I have."

I've been let down and I've let myself down to with my lack of success. An easy problem that's been made over complicated.


Finish up in Utah, go on to college in CA, and look for a girlfriend there.

I know but I kinda want to practice here so when I can go California I won't be wasting the good women.


To clarify, my comment w/asterisks had no profanity. It was a word for arrogant.
5. Women like a good balance between confidence and respect/manners. So your**** statement, "When you meet me the pleasure will be all yours," will make them pass you by.


I just can't balance that because I have no experience and I'm trying to but it's hard to compete against people with experience on me.


Hon.. an old adage but a true one
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I agree but I feel like I'm incapable of solving this never ending problem. My own mother has made fun of my lack of success with women. Saying stuff like I wish I could get a woman.


You are heading the right direction.. Just get a bit more mellow when it comes to the wild world of dating.

Yeah, the thing is if I had a damn phone I would be out in the field trying to rake up numbers but it's been hard to get a job so I have to wait until the end of my vocational school to get so I can really begin. Even if I complete I'm still not guaranteed a job.


Not pose, I type Posse, the one with you and your friends that's the one I suggested you lose.

What was wrong with the group photo? Just too many people in the picture?


Brand new day today so make the very most of it.

I do I spend most of my day studying so I can take my A+ exam soon.


You are handsome, get over the worrying and you with be fine. Oh and stop hating Utah = try and find some good things about it.
here's a cyber hug {{ }} stay strong, k?

I'm trying I just don't know anyone who does. Thanks.


We can't make excuses about things that's holding us back.

So what do you suggest I do?


There's people out there that have lived out of their cars eating out of trashcans that have gone on to become millionaires.

They've ruined it for the rest of us struggling overachievers :P

True, I can't even get an minimum wage job.


What kind of experience are you trying to gain by dating?


The experience I want is dating and social experience with someone else. I feel as if this problem is the main reason why I just don't feel so confident.


I get that you are socially awkward. No worries, lots of people are. Instead of trying to jump into the dating pool, try this: Go out into the world and talk to women. The cashier at the convenient store, women you are standing in line with, etc. Go to the bookstore, the library, the grocery store. We are everywhere!

Yeah, I guess I should maybe I could see how long I can keep a conversation for.


You do have a defeatist attitude and until you turn that around, it will show. Feeling sorry for yourself isn't an attractive quality and is a turn off. Yes we are victims of circumstance, but we can make that a positive by learning from setbacks and becoming stronger because of it. You are too young to let life defeat you.


I'm doing all I can to solve my problem until I complete school I really won't be able to go out there and the dating game is really hard for men in this economy. Women don't have to worry about dating or social when it comes to them because it's natural for them.


Yep, the economy is not great, but it's not to blame for your lack of success--you are.[quote
I'm to blame since I can't get a job. I ask people for help hell my so called friends and family never even try to help when I need help. I keep applying for jobs but there are none. I call and try to be persistent but still to no avail. I have no one to help me other than Job Corps so how am I responsible? I went to job corps to make this problem more possible to fix.


We can all rise above that and reach our goals if we try hard enough.

So I'm not trying hard enough? I ask for help, I study everyday so I can pass this exam so I can become certified to enter the IT field but I don't try hard enough.


There are jobs out there if you look. Might not be your ideal, but you've gotta start somewhere. Fear can hold you back from anything. Take the leap, look at where you want to be and make a plan on how to get there. Failures are just learning experiences. Take responsibility for yourself and your situation and tell yourself that giving up is not an option.

I looked and am still looking I'm training here at my vocational school to get a job. To become more employable that's what I do everyday. You talk as if this is easy it's not I keep applying I keep trying I've had a lot of setback that the normal people like yourself don't have to deal with. You have people that's there for you who'll help you. Until I came here to vocational school I didn't have that but it'll only solve the job problem. I can even solve my dating problem for myself because I'm to financially insecure. All I do is wait wait wait. I put myself through hell just to get something.


Remember that having a woman in your life is not a magical cure and it won't fix anything. If anything, it complicates. Gotta be ready and do the work on yourself before that happens.

She's not the one that will fix everything but if I get one I know I can get more. My main problem is I haven't been able to solve this problem because of ridiculous setbacks that normal people don't have. My situation is so stupid it's not funny. Something is always in the way. All I can do is keep trying studying and then maybe I'll get something out of it.

I've change my profile a little can someone critique it?
 JaeCruz
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 18
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I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/18/2013 10:29:51 PM
Another thing I haven't given up. If I had I would be at home doing nothing with my life. That's why I wake up every morning and go to school and stay up late at night studying. It's so I can finally make something of myself and start solving all these problems. I wouldn't even be asking for help if I was defeated just the dating game is unnecessarily hard in this economy. I personally believe it's way easier for women than Men in my situation.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 19
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/19/2013 10:03:31 AM
As long as you continue to blame others for your lack of success in life, you will fail. You seem to think everybody else has life easier than you and has a supply of people to fall back on to help and support them and it's not true. Drop the fantasy and stop whining. You will get nowhere if you continue to blame instead of doing what it takes. With the attitude you have shown here, I am not surprised at your lack of success. Why do you expect other people to fix you and when they don't, blame them all?
I came from an unsupportive, dysfunctional, screwed up family. I was literally on my own at 17 and had only myself to depend on. I was socially awkward, as I learned noting from my family except how to be a victim. I dragged myself out of that pit. Life is what you make of it and your attitude is everything. You don't know everybody's story.
Women are not born knowing how to behave socially. Life is not easier for them. They are not objects to practice on or acquire. It's very offensive to read your attitude on women--we are human beings.
Stop expecting other people to fix your life.
 JaeCruz
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 20
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I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/20/2013 5:40:36 AM

As long as you continue to blame others for your lack of success in life, you will fail. You seem to think everybody else has life easier than you and has a supply of people to fall back on to help and support them and it's not true. Drop the fantasy and stop whining. You will get nowhere if you continue to blame instead of doing what it takes. With the attitude you have shown here, I am not surprised at your lack of success. Why do you expect other people to fix you and when they don't, blame them all?


In this world you need to network to be successful and the first people you should turn to are your friends and family. This is common knowledge even in today's world. You talk as if you think you know everything about me. I didn't go into detail about what I did because it would be too long but I went to the unemployment to seek guidance but wasn't able to be helped since I was fresh out of High School with no experience. I went to my vocations to received help and now I got the help I was looking for. I can possibly get a job today.

You keep spewing the same thing over and over again like I'm not doing anything so I'm responsible for my lack of success well guess what I am doing something that's why I went to my vocational school to receive the help I needed. I now have more skill now to prepare me for the real world. I have a chance to get not just a job but a job with growth that can pull me through college. So what you say about my lack of success is ridiculous. You seem to think if I just walk forward with no plan of action I'll get a job somewhere. Stop living in your fantasy. Since you talk so big what do you think I should of done then?

Let me explain my situation to you so hopefully you can understand. I had financial problems that I felt would get in my way with women so I had to find a way to handle them first now that's taken care of. Now I'm looking for away to meet women.


I came from an unsupportive, dysfunctional, screwed up family. I was literally on my own at 17 and had only myself to depend on. I was socially awkward, as I learned noting from my family except how to be a victim. I dragged myself out of that pit. Life is what you make of it and your attitude is everything. You don't know everybody's story.

Sound like my family at least you didn't have to do that in a recession. I'm dragging myself out of the pit too. You don't know my story.


Women are not born knowing how to behave socially. Life is not easier for them.

I'm not even going to bother trying to defend my point because all you will do is just pick at that instead of what I started this thread for. I started it for my help with my pof profile not this.


They are not objects to practice on or acquire. It's very offensive to read your attitude on women--we are human beings. Stop expecting other people to fix your life.

When did I say the were objects on I need to gain some experience talking with them so I won't be so scared. You even said talk to them everywhere. That's getting some practice in. Experience is what's going to allow me to have confidence in myself so I can be the man I want to be.


Stop expecting other people to fix your life.

There you go getting all emotional twisting my words around. I didn't expect people to fix my life I needed help and I didn't get it. Help doesn't mean fix my life but to you I guess it means that. Everyone needs help I bet you even got some help to get where you are today. There's now way you did everything on your own.

Anyways I need some help with my profile is my description better.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 21
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 10/20/2013 1:45:09 PM
Tell about yourself as a person--your personality.
Traveling is in your distant future...what would you do with a girl if you got a date tomorrow? How will you contact her or call her without a phone (do you have access to one?)


I kinda want to practice here so when I can go California I won't be wasting the good women.

My kind of practice involves going out in public and talking to women, being friendly, and engaging them in conversation. Yours is to use the substandard Utah women to try for I don't know what.

I said the things in the previous post because one needs to work on oneself as a person and be happy with that person before trying to add someone to it. Somebody else can't create your happiness.
 JaeCruz
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 22
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I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 2/9/2014 7:39:50 PM

Tell about yourself as a person--your personality.
Traveling is in your distant future...what would you do with a girl if you got a date tomorrow? How will you contact her or call her without a phone (do you have access to one?)


I have before but my profile is really boring when I write about myself. I'm still trying to figure out my personality. I have access to a phone but I don't have a cell phone.


My kind of practice involves going out in public and talking to women, being friendly, and engaging them in conversation. Yours is to use the substandard Utah women to try for I don't know what.

That's probably what I need to do. The practice is just speaking to women and trying to gain more confidence and belief in myself. That's all nothing what you're thinking. Sorry for the misunderstanding.


I said the things in the previous post because one needs to work on oneself as a person and be happy with that person before trying to add someone to it. Somebody else can't create your happiness.

Which is what I'm doing. I went to vocational school to add a new skillset to myself. So I could compete in the world of today. I'm sorry but the way this world has changed things that worked for you in the past don't work today. I tried to talk the people for work but I keep getting told it's all online. Even those lower level jobs you speak of College Graduates are taking those and now companies are requiring degrees for those jobs. It's ridiculous.

Thanks to my school I am now professionally certified with my IC3, A+, Network+, Security+, and I am currently studying programming. The Job thing is being taken care of so lets not focus on that unless you have some constructive criticism on what I can do to help myself. Now let's deal with the problem here.

There's a huge misudnerstanding you're saying I'm trying to have someone else create my happiness no. I want to become better with communicating with people especially the opposite sex so I'm looking for some constructive criticism.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 23
I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 2/9/2014 7:56:57 PM
"I'm sorry but the way this world has changed things that worked for you in the past don't work today. " You're 25 years old, have you ever SEEN a manual typewriter or a phone with a dial?

I tried to talk the people for work but I keep getting told it's all online. " - Just like POF, and yet, here you are , online !!!

"I want to become better with communicating with people especially the opposite sex so I'm looking for some constructive criticism." If you want to communicate with the opposite sex then you don't need a computer, do you? If you DO want to go online to meet women, then you need to get busy and fatten up your profile. there isn't much there.
You can do better, can't you?
 JaeCruz
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 24
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I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 3/30/2014 12:10:49 AM

You're 25 years old, have you ever SEEN a manual typewriter or a phone with a dial?

Yeah and your point is you can stop with sarcasm and b.s. and stick to the real topic. I just can't afford a cell phone my god some people these days.


Just like POF, and yet, here you are , online.

Yes I am but I was talking about in the job market. Which is why it's been hard for me to get a job. I have to compete with a lot of people to get a job and a lot of companies will not hire you with out a bachelor's degree or many years of experience for minimum wage jobs. Don't get smart. I was stating I can't afford a cell phone at this time. It's hard for a lot people to get work but most can find jobs here and there and I'm still trying to find work. It's not easy.

Since it's online I'm pretty sure you know that a lot of the resume people submit don't even get read.


"I want to become better with communicating with people especially the opposite sex so I'm looking for some constructive criticism." If you want to communicate with the opposite sex then you don't need a computer, do you? If you DO want to go online to meet women, then you need to get busy and fatten up your profile. there isn't much there.

Been kind of busy to even worry about that. That's why my profile is the way it is now. I've been focusing on Job searches at the moment.
 JaeCruz
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 25
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I need some on to critique my profile
Posted: 3/30/2014 12:31:17 AM

Yep, the economy is not great, but it's not to blame for your lack of success--you are.

Here's the thing that you don't understand about my area I live in the SF Bay Area one of the worst recession area's. In my area alone it's around an 11% unemployment rate ridiculous. Take a guy who just graduated from high school with no prior work experience and he has to compete with people who aren't able to get jobs that they have so they start going towards the minimum wage jobs that I would normally take. These employers have so many applicants trying to apply for those jobs that I really didn't have the skill set to compete with them. People with college degree's are competing for the jobs you speak of in my area.


We can all rise above that and reach our goals if we try hard enough. There are jobs out there if you look.

There are no jobs. How do I know this I looked everyday and look now. I apply for about every job I can. I've gotten very few calls for interview's not matter how many times I upgrade my application, resume, cover letter and so forth.


Might not be your ideal, but you've gotta start somewhere. Fear can hold you back from anything. Take the leap, look at where you want to be and make a plan on how to get there.

I would take any job I could it didn't matter what it was as long as I could work but the only jobs are hiring are scam jobs.


Failures are just learning experiences. Take responsibility for yourself and your situation and tell yourself that giving up is not an option.


You make it seem like I've given up. Which I have not I've had to take a different route that I normally wouldn't have had to done if it weren't for this recession which is job corps so I can learn a trade so I can compete in today's world. Obviously with my past skill set there was no way I was going to be able to compete.

The thing that led me to argue with you is the fact that you make it seem like I was laying on my ass doing nothing everyday I do something. If it weren't a recession I would be hired.

A lot of jobs work by knowing someone that get's you in. That's the way I feel that jobs work today. It's not longer turning in your resume and speaking the with the manager and being persistent to get the job it's knowing someone through networking.
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