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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.      Home login  
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 CaptainTeebs
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 2
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
"SUPER FRESH and CLEAN" ???
What, like those hotels that have the paper wrap-thing around the toilet that ensures, "sanitized for your protection"? Is that what you were expecting?

Ah, don't sweat it. Doesn't matter what we do; we open our yaps, we're gonna mess it up.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 3
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 1:27:19 AM
Let me see if I understand your situation.

You met a woman briefly at a social event. She sent you explicit photos of her self and engaged in phone sex with you. Then she made plans to meet for sex.

Do you think you are the only man she has done this with?

Exactly how 'clean' do you expect her to be, given her keenness to jump in the sack with strangers?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 2:21:51 AM
MMMm, I'd say you "blew it," but as with most situations where we easily "blow" things, that's usually GOOD. Some one who is both THAT desirous of "hooking up," and THAT sensitive about peripheral comments, would likely be nutty enough to make whatever happened more painful than it was worth.

Since my marriage ended, I have had a few people show interest, then disappear, and a couple of them came in like gangbusters, then freaked out and sent me outraged insults, because I failed to say SOMETHING in an email.

The way I look at it, nuts is nuts.

Now, as to the WAY you blew it, that should be obvious to you. Take the basics: a woman shows an interest in becoming intimate with you, and your question to her is, "are you a vile slimeball?" Not very romantic. Whether she was a slimeball or not, you should have been able to realize that she wouldn't want to THINK of herself as a slimeball.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 5
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 3:03:32 AM
Certain things in life are understood between people and don't need a "qualifier" appended...which you've learned.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 6
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Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 4:34:45 AM

I may have said something to chase her off again but because of the personal nature I cant repeat it here.

Well than you may have your answer.
As for THAT question..I don't know why she would get really upset about it, it's something I would want to know.
She should have asked you a same questions.
Go on that date, and if she shows up you are good. Simple.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 7
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 4:36:17 AM
my opinion is that a woman skanky enough to sext you after one meeting would not be put off by your "personal nature". I guess you'll have to wait 2 days to find out for sure, huh.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 8
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Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 6:02:52 AM
I wish people would stop using an adjective to refer to a person. "I met this female" is so.. ugh.. impersonal. It's a characteristic of the person, not the person themselves. "I met a woman..." so much sexier.

Did you blow it? Only SHE can tell you.
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 9
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Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 6:04:05 AM
Seems like you tripped right before the shooter was going to put a bullet in your head...I'm looking at this as a "phew!" moment.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 10
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Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 6:30:31 AM
uhm.....the OP acted no differently than the woman in question here......
so his behavior qualifies him for just as many derogatory comments!!

When you play in the gutter....you get treated like a rat.
You don't get to complain about anyone smelling like a rat, or behaving like a rat.

If you are looking for nothing more than a hookup....then you better get used to being "disposable".
If you are actually looking for a relationship....try some class.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 12
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 9:00:12 AM

I ran with it.
LOL just because there is a marathon in town doesn't mean you have to participate.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 13
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 9:07:46 AM
So after sexting for a while and making arrangements to meet up for a hookup ...... she asks if I like going down on girls. I say yes but only if you are super fresh and clean.

Okay, I can see how, to a sensitive woman, that'd throw her off. First thing first -- she initiated all this. RIGHT after meeting at a social gathering. She may be a bit quirky about various things.

You said "but only if YOU are super fresh & clean". Two things -- (a) You're not as interested in that as she hoped. You have a big focus on it being like a rich man's garden... (b) YOU, not "she" -- you're implying that she very well may not be. You ruined the mood with a sensitive gal about it.

Now, this hit you by surprise because things were rolling well, but you just have to realize something: She was probably living it up in the moment, and all it took was something that raised an eyebrow and threw her off. She came back down to earth, back to reality, and it would have lost so much sexual luster anyway, but you just reinforced it, striking a chord with her to think "Ehhh, maybe not such a good idea."

I don't think she's MAD at you or took any offense. I think you probably would have seen the sexual exchange via text die off anyway.

Football Analogy: You threw the pass a little behind the receiver. Many receivers would still catch it, she didn't. Unfortunately, it was 3rd down, and you thought it was 1st down. You didn't do anything wrong -- just not ideal. Next time when you're in those sexual conversations, don't throw anything out there that'd ruin the mood or anything... say something about how much you enjoy it. Go positive all the way when you're in those temporary situations.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 14
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Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 9:57:31 AM
BUT that SHE would imitate and do this was a shocker, I totally didnt expect this from her, she's very attractive and seemed so classy.So right off, I can see that I dont know her at all.


Is this supposed to make any sense at all? I can see that you make many assumptions regarding this woman based on nothing but your preconcieved notions, so why are you surprised by things going the way they did?

What if she hasnt had sex for 2.5 years, does that make you the bigger slut in this scenario since she waited longer than you did? Because you have pretty much implied that her character is in question here while you are just a poor****dragging around a body with no self control, so we should give you a pass while we whip rocks at her head.
 Strider324
Joined: 8/27/2013
Msg: 15
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 11:10:27 AM

Exactly how 'clean' do you expect her to be, given her keenness to jump in the sack with strangers?


What exactly does her sexual activity level have to do with her hygiene??
 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 17
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 11:59:44 AM

Ive chased off a few women lately

I think this the crux of what is going on. You've chased a few women off and you're self-sabotaging. Chill the fuck out.


a decent response from her has been difficult.

Maybe she was just super horny one night...you helped her get off...and now she's just busy and not as horny? The biggest thing is not getting insecure about it and asking what is wrong, or even apologizing really.


I told her yes but only if you are super fresh and clean.

This is hit or miss with women. Some women don't understand how a guy could go down on a woman at all because of as what one female friend said to me "goes on down there..". But others get offended if you bring up smell or anything else. Some women are self-conscious about it. You have to tread lightly on something like that.

Ultimately the only thing that's going to ruin this is your persistence in apologizing for something that may not have been an issue. It shows you're insecure and we all know what that means. So chill out...continue to text, sext or whatever...try flirting with her at a time when you know she's not at work to get a feel for what's going on.

It's also possible that your vaginal pickiness is irritating to her because she just wants to come home from work and have some guy dive in and go to town but you're going to insist she take whatever measures to insure that you don't have to go down on her with a clothes pin on your nose.


*Edit*

Also I'd like to add if you didn't blow it...and you do ever get the chance to get intimate with her.....make sure you put in double-time with the tongue. Really put the whole thing to rest.
IDK...the more I think about this the more I think it might simply not be a good fit. She sounds like a woman that likes oral...a lot...and you're a guy that sort of does it...and doesn't really enjoy it. She might need a guy who enjoys it. Tell her to hit me up.
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 18
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 1:13:36 PM
You should never loiter on the phone texting a woman all day. Set up plans to hook up and make it happen. Get to the point with her and if she's not interested...at least you did not waste your time!

You also have a cloud of failure and self-rejection that will brush any woman away. Who in their right mind would want get with a person who's actions and body language tell them they are unworthy?

When you texted her being apologetic and telling her to unfriend her, that is what put the nail in the coffin. If your confident, you can say whatever/whenever to a woman and she'll be fine because there is the confidence behind it!


GET INNER CONFIDENCE!!!! IT IS THE KEY TO A BETTER LIFE!
 Archiver
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 20
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 7:31:31 PM
Quit with the texting, sexting, and phone sex. It is so juvenile. That's not the way a mature gentleman woos a lady. Even if she initiates it, you have the skill to adroitly move to more appropriate conversation. (Unless all you want is a quick fvck, then be as tacky as you want and you'll get what you are worthy of.)
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 22
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 8:14:30 PM

We discuss various things and finally she asks if I like going down on girls. I say yes but only if you are super fresh and clean.
For some reason, she seemed to get really upset by this and basically said "of course I'm clean" and then stopped messaging me.


She didn't ask you if you wanted to go down on her. She asked you if you liked going down on girls---i.e. she wanted to know if you enjoyed oral sex. You implied that you thought HER hygiene might be questionable.

Yep. You blew it.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 23
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Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 8:25:39 PM

IDK...the more I think about this the more I think it might simply not be a good fit. She sounds like a woman that likes oral...a lot...and you're a guy that sort of does it...and doesn't really enjoy it. She might need a guy who enjoys it.


I completely agree with this!!
Especially since I've asked the same question to gauge a man's response!
Any man that puts "rules" on oral sex......isn't a man that truly loves to give it.
 April1963
Joined: 6/7/2013
Msg: 24
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/21/2013 9:24:02 PM

she asks if I like going down on girls. I say yes BUT ONLY if you are super fresh and clean.


OP..OP..OP....When you will learn?......Of course you blew it.!!
you were talking about SEX,so she expected a HOT response like this..

Example:
ME:........... Do you like giving oral sex to girls?
YOU: ........YES,YES,OH YESSSSSS!!!!!

See? Simple..... :-)....Don't worry, that lesson was free,There is no need to send check or money order!!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 25
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/22/2013 10:03:41 AM
next time, don't tell a potential partner, "only if YOU are super clean". say instead you like going down if "THEY are super clean."

see the difference? in the first one, you're making it personal. in the second one, you're talking about the situation because you aren't naming her personally.

if she ever felt cheap, doing what she was doing, then the fact you mentioned you'd only touch her if she was clean suggests you may actually think she isn't clean.
 Iseedudpeople
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 26
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/22/2013 10:22:08 AM

Ive chased off a few women lately, 4 now. It seems like sooner or later I end up sticking my foot in my mouth


You're far from alone. Most guys need to learn the art of shutting up, asking questions and listening for this exact reason.
 CallmeKen
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 27
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/22/2013 11:04:59 AM

Exactly how 'clean' do you expect her to be, given her keenness to jump in the sack with strangers?

Jesus / Buddha / Darwin's beard, you've NEVER hooked up with someone you've just met?

Just because the stars aligned one night and the woman found the guy sexy does NOT make her the whore of Babylon. I'm a Tea Party Republican Catholic, and even I'm not that conservative. You people need to back away from your flamethrowers and stop judging so much.

Anywho, OP, yes, you blew it. When she asked if you liked to go down on women, you should have replied, "I'd love to take you to the shower, caress every inch of your body with lotion and lick you like an ice cream cone." Sexting is an art. You'll get it. Also, stop being so germaphobic. As someone who has earned his Red Badge of Courage, I can attest that nothing in a healthy vagoo will kill you.

Now, if you go on a real date with this woman, don't blow it again. DO NOT try and continue the sex talk. I'll say it again: DO NOT try and continue the sex talk. Erase her pictures if you still have them on your phone (She'll ask) and get to know her as a person. The sexcapade was just a momentary lapse of reason. Treat it as if it never happened.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 29
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/23/2013 1:40:23 AM

I couldnt decide between girl or woman so I went with female. Why girl? Because shes a lot younger then me.

City boy, huh. ‘Heifer’ would have been the obvious choice there.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 30
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/23/2013 9:13:25 AM
congratulations, shydevil, hopefully you'll get the chance to "blow your opportunity", if ya know what I mean ;)

there is a website, I think its "b4utxther.com" selling an e-book allegedly giving advice. Problem is, the guy is an exercise freak who smokes. ever meet one? of course not,but there are posers who will "harm their temple". so, maybe the guy only picks up phonies by being one. still, i'll throw it out there for "education purposes only"

and yeah, I'll second the reproach on those bearing torches and pitchforks to this post. a woman steps out of line to do what she wants (sext), and everyone wants to beat her back into line. the OP is free to wear a dental dam when/if he decides to enjoy what the woman is offering.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 31
Did I blow it? Females plz. Or guys if you think you know.
Posted: 10/23/2013 9:56:22 AM
ShyDevil01, glad to hear that you two have spoken and will see each other again. That is excellent news.
Good for you. It seems clear communication prevailed. Have a great time and report back how things go.
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