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 aef19884
Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 1
Being late for a datePage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
First date: texted me fifteen minutes after she was supposed to be there that she was running late; ended up being 1/2 half-hour late.

Second date: texted me 1/2 hour beforehand that she would be late; ended up being 40 minutes late.

I was there on time. Nice girl. Would you overlook this, or, out curiosity, would you have left?

Thanks!
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 2
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 10:02:08 AM
gee I don't know, do *you* think she's nice enough to overlook her poor time management skills?? if I had to guess, i'll say she's already set the pattern and she is probably one of those people who are late for everything.

i personally would have lost interest by now.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 3
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Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 10:11:01 AM
If she's incredibly hot, I may let it slide. On the plus side, she did let you know she would be late. Could be a major issue if she was late for her own funeral.
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 4
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 10:21:32 AM
30 mins I can probably wait. But 40 would probably annoy me. But at least she didn't stood you up. I would probably let her know it bugs you.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 5
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 10:25:52 AM
I would not have left, but would not overlook the lateness.

First time is happenstance.
Second time is coincidence.
Third time is enemy action.

If she's as much as one minute late the third time, take it as a green light to pursue other girls at the location. If there are no available girls at the location and you have a smartphone, search for someone new on here.

You already let her know it's important to you for her to be on time, right?
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 6
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 11:14:33 AM
I would've messaged her back, hey babe let me know when you arrive as I'm out running some errands and I may be a few minutes late myself! I have no time for people who can't be on time...Sure there are excusable reasons, its a good thing some people don't fly....
 theoldsoul
Joined: 8/13/2012
Msg: 7
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 11:21:33 AM
Knowing me, probably not. Promptness says a lot about the character of a person, in my opinion.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 8
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Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 11:31:25 AM

I would've messaged her back, hey babe let me know when you arrive as I'm out running some errands and I may be a few minutes late myself! I have no time for people who can't be on time...Sure there are excusable reasons, its a good thing some people don't fly....

By doing this, it would seem to me that you are simply giving that other person permission to be even later than they already are. Do you actually think they will arrive at the later time that they give you? It's highly unlikely.

People who are tardy have absolutely no consideration or respect for those they inconvenience and, often times, simply believe that the whole world does and should revolve around them. No matter how you slice it, tardiness is nothing more than bad behaviour.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 9
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 11:37:31 AM

First date: texted me fifteen minutes after she was supposed to be there that she was running late; ended up being 1/2 half-hour late.

Well, she wouldn't text you that she was going to be late, if she was about to walk in the door any minute. She texted you that she was going to be more late than she already was...

Second date: texted me 1/2 hour beforehand that she would be late; ended up being 40 minutes late

Well, she postponed it -- so she wasn't *40* minutes late... if you didn't ask when -- then some of that burden falls on you. If you got there only 10 after, but had to wait an extra 30, "late" to her could mean more.

I was there on time. Nice girl. Would you overlook this, or, out curiosity, would you have left?

If she texted you 30m before the date starts, why did you arrive there on time? Or even a presumed minimal lateness? I'm not throwing all blame on you -- just saying you have to ask what's up about it with her. If she says "I'm going to be late...", and the original time was 7PM, ask "Okay, by how much?" If says "I dunno, 15 or 20 minutes?" From your 1st date you should ask "Okay, so, I'll aim to get there before 7:30." And just show up a little after 7:30. That way, she's only a few minutes "late".

Sometimes people think/figure it's OK to be late. Just tell her to aim to be Early, while you'll aim to take your sweet time getting there, and things should even out.

If she Really likes you, I wouldn't ditch her because of her lateness... just something annoying/frustrating to adjust to with some people sometimes.
 wolvesatthedoor
Joined: 5/8/2013
Msg: 10
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 11:44:23 AM
I think that perpetual tardiness is a sign of mental incompetence.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 11
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 11:45:18 AM
I am often late. It's not a reflection of ego or inconsiderateness; it's trying to fit in extra stuff at the last minute or not allowing for traffic or other delays.
That being said, i think 5-10 min is acceptable but not every time. 30-40 min is atrocious and she's 2 for 2.
If you have another date, ask her "What is a good time so you doesn't feel rushed?" and if she's late again you have the info to make a decision.
Keep her if you don't care, dump her if it bothers you.
 sweetpe4u
Joined: 11/4/2013
Msg: 12
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 11:47:25 AM
Good post OP. I had a meet with a very handsome man scheduled for 7:30pm. He did not text me to say he was running late and arrived 10 minutes late. He apologized and although I did forgive it, I can not excuse the lack of common courtesy. I was ready to leave when he showed up. No second meet was necessary as I felt it was a bad first impression on his part.

Perhaps I was too hasty? Maybe. Maybe not.


No matter how you slice it, tardiness is nothing more than bad behaviour.


This woman speaks the truth.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 13
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Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 11:51:00 AM
Adding to my previous post, I have yet to figure this out:

If people can be habitually late then why can't they be habitually on time? It's a real puzzler, isn't it? May those who are consistently habitually late can shed some light on this for those of us who cannot find the logic in it.
 Iseedudpeople
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 14
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 12:18:01 PM
I put it to one woman I used to see like this :

It's interesting to me that you somehow can find it in you to show up for work on time every day but almost never for me ...
 AGuy_4U
Joined: 11/29/2012
Msg: 15
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Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 12:29:37 PM
Text her back and say "it's ok, I just met a girl here at the bar... we're gonna get a room... see you in forty minutes." I'll bet A. you never see her again. B. she's never late again.
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 16
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 12:58:49 PM
I'll wait 20 minutes, then I'm gone.

But I have zero tolerance for people who can't manage their time -- unless they're under the age of 12.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 17
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 1:10:19 PM
Measure it as a whole with everything else she brings to the dating table.
If she could be a spectacular girlfriend and this is her "worst sin" you might wish to accept that single shortcoming.
It all depends on what the OP feels are dealbreaker issues.
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 18
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 1:14:14 PM
MSG 10; I don't think you see the irony in my post....it wasn't meant to be logical.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 19
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 1:17:49 PM
I dislike tardiness in general. However, with California traffic, sometimes it's unavoidable. I think as long as you are being informed your date will arrive late, I don't think it's that big of an issue. If you like this person and the tardiness continues, could very well be part of her personality. If you really like the person, make adjustments accordingly like one of the above posters noted. I would probably mention, at some point, you are not a big fan of tardiness. Be thankful as she was considerate enough to let you know ahead of time.
 SWEET_MAVERICK
Joined: 9/28/2013
Msg: 20
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 1:20:54 PM
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts8236576.aspx

I'd make plans w/ them again, then stand them up
~evil grin~
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 21
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Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 1:23:48 PM
It would have to be addressed by me sooner rather than later because I can not function waiting, waiting, and more waiting, when not necessary.

Most people like this, are also late for work, for appointments, for most things in their life, and it has a tendency to affect their well being, jobs, friendships, and relationships. The only way I know to stop it, is by not being with them, or doing the same exact thing to them and see how they like it!

Most will hold you to doing what you say, and want you to understand that they can not......which translates to me......they are more important than I am. Does not work well for me......at all!

cd
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 22
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 1:34:31 PM
If tardyness is a trait that drives you up the wall, tell the person when you encounter this...and see if they make an effort to be on time in the future. If they dont, you know you are not compatible and you can CHOOSE to just not make plans with them again. If however, you CHOOSE to make further plans with someone who has already shown you by thier actions that they are always late, then who is the fool in this equation? Id say, the one in a twist about thier mate being late is the fool. You either accept someone flaws and all, or you dont. The option of 'changing thier ways' should only be used on your own self.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 23
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Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 1:52:05 PM

Nice girl.

perhaps, but there are also nice girls out there who know how to be punctual.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 24
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 2:05:36 PM
Pretty poor taste for the woman to be late. Now, had she texted before the time you were both to meet that she was running late, I can accept that, but to text AFTER she already is fifteen minutes late is laughable. That says a lot more about her then you probably know right now.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 25
Being late for a date
Posted: 11/15/2013 2:25:32 PM
Wow, tough dating crowd around here...
I dated a spectacular, brilliant, funny, charming, and stunningly beautiful woman many years ago.

Her one sin? Except for work, she was frequently late for personal things.
Yet I was so hopelessly in love with her (and her with me) that I didn't let it be an issue.
She was such a wonderful and sweet woman, so I simply adapted. It became no longer bothersome.

To make a long story short, she was tragically killed (about two decades ago) and instantly yanked from my life.
I would give a million dollars to be sitting around twiddling my thumbs patiently waiting for her now...
The point is to use judgement and view the WHOLE person.
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