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 DC_Gradstudent
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 1
Review Please: Women's Opinion PreferablePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I figured I'd see what y'all have to say. I can tell you ahead of time it's lengthy. And it is conservative/religious in tone (because that is what I am). All is non-prejudicial feedback welcome, but women preferred. Thank you!
 agoraphobic_insomniac
Joined: 8/13/2013
Msg: 2
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 3:56:14 AM
Christianmingle.com
 LeapOfFaith66
Joined: 12/14/2012
Msg: 3
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Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 4:02:22 AM
It's ridiculously long mate and that makes you appear a bit desperate and needy. Please don't take that as me hurling a personal insult at you - it's just what ladies will think when they see the length of your profile. Cut it down by half at least...

Also your user name is not good. I personally like it but it will be viewed as negative by those you are trying to attract.

Hope this helps.
 LeapOfFaith66
Joined: 12/14/2012
Msg: 4
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Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 4:03:17 AM
Forget the bit about the user name. I thought you were agoraphobic_insomniac... :-)
 agoraphobic_insomniac
Joined: 8/13/2013
Msg: 5
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 4:59:57 AM
You're looking for a particular niche and I'm not sure PoF would be a good resource for you. Certainly try, by all means, but even for us less than religious sorts, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Good luck.
 DC_Gradstudent
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 6
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 5:44:56 AM
I think you're right, just the fact that only two people have replied out of the 40 whom have viewed my request is telling...
I knew that it would be that way on POF, I just thought I might get lucky. It only takes one after all. And I've been on the Christian sites. One has to still be just as lucky, to find the kind of girl I'm looking for, wherever I am looking. I am considering deleting my profile here though.
 sandytm
Joined: 9/25/2013
Msg: 7
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 6:09:54 AM
1. You are in a sweaty shirt in your main pic.
2. The 2 links are not allowed.
3. It's illogical to think that either your profile is long and true to yourself or succinct and superficial. You're being self-indulgent, judgmental, sanctimonious. I heard a pastor say "If you come off as judgmental to most people, then you are."
Judgement is not yours, but God's.

Then, in your paper you write, "Love first of all begins in the family." A Roman Catholic would know that it begins with God. That's just the beginning of the problem w/your paper.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 8
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 6:24:05 AM
DC_Gradstudent...you are clearly an extremely intelligent man.

My suggestion is that online dating is likely not the path to uncover the type of partner and relationship you seek. The vast majority will not display this cerebral behavior (even if they really *are* that smart) for simple dating. Online dating should be viewed as a supplement to a main effort of seeking dates via contacts in real life. Good luck.
 usmale6
Joined: 9/14/2013
Msg: 9
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 7:27:18 AM
I would also suggest getting rid of the sweat stained main pic.

"I have to be true to my 'self'", and, "love me for who I am", is the typical cry of the lonely guy who can't get a date. All it really means is that you are lazy and not willing to do the work required to have a relationship.

Your profile is way too long and serious... love is a child-like emotion, it's not serious like some pop-psychologists would have you believe. What's really attractive is a romantic, or funny, light-hearted written section. For best results you should rewrite the whole thing... all that serious talk will tend to turn the ladies off, or is boring at best. Like the song by Cyndi Lauper says, Girls Just Want to Have Fun.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 10
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 7:34:58 AM
Another option is to keep the main pic yet properly CAPTION it for the reader. For example:
"...October 2013: After a 6-mile jog along the canal..."
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 11
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 7:41:18 AM
I agree with removing the picture with a stained shirt. Add some pictures of you doing the activities you enjoy.

It is quite long. You don't need to list every single book that changed your life. One or two is sufficient.

Definitely remove the two links you have.

Add some happiness. Your entire description is very serious and heavy. You sound like a rather stern guy.
 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 12
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 8:55:05 AM
The good news: you're cute as a kitten and have a killer smile.

The bad news: the profile is dead boring. It is absolutely possible to have a long interesting profile with description and humour. Even conservative people have a sense of humour. Your profile does not portray that.

Your intent says "Looking for someone to marry", yet your Looking For says FRIENDS. This is ridiculous. They need to match.

There is no need to take a whole paragraph to explain what being a 'devout Catholic' means. We get it. However, the line about being open to other faiths is important to leave in.

There is also no need to explain the dating process and relationship development. Again, we get it. It just wastes too much space where you could be talking about your work, interests, or activities a viewer could share with you.

There are lots of girls on these sites that are religious fanatics too but you must also continue to look in real life. And replace the nasty sweaty photo.
 DC_Gradstudent
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 13
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 9:16:27 AM
Sandy, the paper was written for a philosophy class, and the topic of the paper is concerning the error of Karl Marx. I will stick to my thesis that "Love first of all begins in the family," because it does, philosophically and humanly speaking, it is in the home that human beings first learn how to live with others (and therefore how to love). That one sentence ought to be taken into context of the whole paper, which explains what I mean in saying that.

I am curious as to what the other "problems" are that you see expressed in the paper. I did not ask anyone for such scholarly criticism, but since you have taken it upon yourself to be my teacher, please do not hold back your rational and intelligent critique, as I would not want to be left in ignorance for believing that marriage and family life is the basis for everything else that follows in society!
 DC_Gradstudent
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 14
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 9:31:54 AM
As for all of the constructive remarks that were pertinent to making a review of my profile, I am much obliged everyone, thank you. I am going to overhaul the profile taking everyone's points (while remaining true to my 'self'), and then I'll see how she sails from there. If there is no current, I shall be deleting it.

I do not, however, appreciate being called a "religious fanatic" by one of the posters. So a man who says that he wants to live an honest, integral, and dedicated life to his family and to God is a "fanatic" eh? But someone who spends their life towards producing $'s, moving from sex partner to sex partner, and allowing pop stars and government officials to judge for them what is good or evil-- what is THAT? Last I checked, hedonism is a historical religion too (read up on all of pagan history). If you ask me, THAT is fanatical! :)
 sandytm
Joined: 9/25/2013
Msg: 15
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 10:30:46 AM
A man who says that he wants to live an honest, integral, and dedicated life to his family and to God and a fanatic are hopefully not the same man. My dad would be an example of the former, while you would be the latter.
 Indira46
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 16
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Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 10:36:10 AM
Delete paragraph 2.

Delete the list of books.

Delete all outside links, as they are NOT allowed.

Move your first date ideas to the First Date section.
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 17
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Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 11:37:20 AM
The links are not allowed. Your main photo is good, most of the others are not and could be replaced with more recent photos of just you. Keep the one singing with the nun.

Well, you write very well. I'm not sure how much more difficult it would be to find someone here than in real life. I think the first thing that popped in my mind was I can't image where you'll find a virgin in your age range.

There's no need to take off your profile. Keep looking in real life. You never know when a woman could be reading here and find you are exactly what she wants.
 DC_Gradstudent
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 18
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 12:30:54 PM
Sandy, you obviously have an animosity towards me. What this is based on, I do not know. I don't understand why you are now comparing me to your father... Where did that come from?? I asked you to to explain intelligently and rationally what the "problem" is with me believing that love begins in the family. Your response is neither logically coherent or mature. It is an ad-hominem attack against my character. How old are you?? I hope that if you communicate to me again in this public forum, you will practice some composure and even some charity. *And I am glad that your father loved God and his family, good for him!
 MelissaGal44m
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 19
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Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 12:41:27 PM
Firefly...

I am a virgin at 30, so it's not impossible.

I personally don't feel the need to reveal this in my profile, nor request it of others.

OP, if I were you, I would remove it from the profile. It could open up a world of women who may otherwise not contact you or return your messages. No one is asking you to renounce your beliefs. It may be something that needs to come up in private conversation, so that both parties know what they are getting into. But, you could be missing out on some really great people because they are either too intimidated or turned off.
 DC_Gradstudent
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 20
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 1:00:49 PM
Melissa, thanks for the suggestion!

Thing is, I never said I was a virgin in my profile (although I am). I simply stated that I follow traditional values of fidelity and such. Why is it that the person who is pushing for traditional Christian values ought to be the one who 'changes' to suit other people's sensitivity? It is actually my preference that the sort of woman who would be turned off by a man who desires to be faithful and to strive for purity- to NOT contact me. Thanks again though for the good intention!
 sandytm
Joined: 9/25/2013
Msg: 21
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 1:27:26 PM

Sandy, you obviously have an animosity towards me.


You haven't read my previous reviews. "Some may say I'm judgemental, but it's my critical thinking."
 DC_Gradstudent
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 22
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 1:33:30 PM
To all the responders: thanks everyone for all of the constructive suggestions!

-I removed the sweaty shirt photo and uploaded other ones that are more colorful and revealing of my personality.
-I removed any outside links.
-I removed commentary that is unnecessary negative focus (however I did leave in the statements that I think need to be said in good conscience, so that the reader will have an accurate understanding of what I am about).
-I left in the book list. If my books are uninteresting and boring to a woman, so be it. I find people who don't read to be rather sheep-like and mundane :)

In the end I agree with Eric; I know that I am going to be hard pressed to find a young woman online who is going to be genuinely interested in the worldview that I jive to. Nonetheless, I am not looking to just find ANYONE who will talk to me, so I am only going to bend my presentation so much. My aim is to find someone of substance who is interested in more than the B.S. that is fed to us through the mass media (eg Lady gaga) and the constructors of public policy (i.e. the agenda of the federal government). By the way, in response to something that was said, I do realize that this is just an aid to real life dating, and not a "supplement." I have no problem with going on dates. My problem lies in finding the right kind of person.

Where on earth am I going to such a peson? I don't know, it troubles me. It seems like the more attractive a young woman is, the more entrenched she will be in the materialistic ideologies of individualism, hedonism, angry feminism, staunch liberalism that is blind to beauty and truth, etc etc. Whereas,the women at Church, I hate to say, are just too damned boring! They are too hesitant to open their hear and live because they are too scared of sinning. Maybe that's just a Catholic think, and I need to hang around some good protestant women! :)

Thanks for posting, folks, I will not be checking this thread anymore. PM me if you have something more to say. Peace be with you all (even you Sandy).
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 23
Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 2:18:00 PM
DC_Gradstudent...good luck with everything and hope you find a fantastic lady either here at POF or out in real life. :-)
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 24
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Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 11/18/2013 3:27:20 PM
POF won't let anyone write to someone more than 14 years in age difference.
 LeapOfFaith66
Joined: 12/14/2012
Msg: 25
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Review Please: Women's Opinion Preferable
Posted: 12/26/2013 8:04:08 AM
He's not on the site any more. Must have got laid...
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