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 prit123
Joined: 11/6/2013
Msg: 1
Limited ProfilePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
So some girls have a VERY limited profile (usually the newer users) that usually all they say is that they're "laid-back" or "happy/outgoing" or "Fun". All of which are pretty vague and general; however, they are really cute and you want to talk to them, but you don't really have anything to say other than some variation of "Hi, how are you?" This, as most of you know, is almost always automatically ignored by 95% of women in the online dating world. (Oddly, this works about 30-50% of the time in the real world.)

My question would be, How does one email these said people without coming off sounding creepy by saying that they are Pretty/Beautiful/Sexy/etc?
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 2
Limited Profile
Posted: 11/19/2013 1:33:49 PM
but you don't really have anything to say other than some variation of "Hi, how are you?"


Eh? Nothing to say? What's wrong about reading their actual profile and garnering some questions from that?

Here's a few hints RE: initial msgs to women.

Don't ask the woman out for a meet/her phone number immediately. It's coming off as a tad desperate and it's creepy.
Ask her one or two questions based on her profile. Do not bombard her.
Don't rattle on and on about yourself.
Keep it light.
Add a touch of humour.
Don't comment on her physical attributes. ( Boobs etc., )
Don't ask/beg her to reply/check you out.They know what to do if interested and do not require prompting.
Limited Profile
Posted: 11/19/2013 1:36:51 PM

Eh? Nothing to say? What's wrong about reading their actual profile and garnering some questions from that?

he's talking about the profiles with essentially nothing to read. the ones with a few bland cliches that reveal nothing.

op, make a pun or joke or something. talk about current events. mention something that matters to YOU. when you have a conversation with someone, no rules says that person has to be the subject of the conversation.

cute girls here are inundated with questions because nine out of 10 guys are using the same approach you think you have to use, and these women get tired of it. the worst sin you can commit here is to be just another ordinary faceless moke. you will set yourself apart simply by being different.
 usmale6
Joined: 9/14/2013
Msg: 4
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Posted: 11/19/2013 1:41:50 PM
"Hi how are you" works just fine... but only when they are low maintenance and actually like your picture. Just because they are beautiful and breathing does not mean they are a match or good relationship material. You are only looking for one good one anyway. Who cares what all the rest think, they have no bearing on your life.

Besides, I know this will come to a shock to some of you, but sometimes the women message the guy first. Who would have thunk it?! Some of you guys need to get a backbone.
 prit123
Joined: 11/6/2013
Msg: 5
Limited Profile
Posted: 11/19/2013 2:01:34 PM
I agree that Just because someone is attractive that something will be garnered, but also doesn't mean that it won't. Attraction is key in the beginning.

I don't think backbone is the issue here. It's more about tactic. I can possibly just copy paste "Hey, how's it going?" and send that to 500 women and I'm sure someone will reply. But I'm not quite that desperate yet. haha

Women do reply, but that wasn't the intention of this thread, but to humor that comment. Because of "my background", most women won't intiate a conversation with me. And the one's that do, are typically not my type. (usually bbw). Now before someone bites my head off on that last comment, I have my reasons on that as well and is more about the personality/habits of people.
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 6
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Posted: 11/19/2013 6:23:24 PM
Just say hello. If they like your pics, they'll bite.
 prit123
Joined: 11/6/2013
Msg: 7
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Posted: 11/19/2013 9:28:52 PM
That is true... there is no real way of knowing what their personality is like without conversation.. Which is why the need to find a way to initiate that conversation to figure it out.

I don't claim to know everything about someone personality by a picture. But obese people (i'm considering people 50+ lbs overweight as BBW by the way) actively make a decision to be unhealthy, and that is the character attribute that dissuades me; it isn't necessarily the physical attribute of it. Yes, I know other people can be just as unhealthy, and I'm usually dissuaded as soon as I find that out about them as well. The reason I'm unattracted to this aspect is because being unhealthy is just as bad as someone smoking and more often times than not just as (if not more) lethal than smoking.

No one said anything about being stupid.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 8
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Posted: 11/20/2013 4:00:50 AM
I am myself useless when it comes to wooing strangers, so all I can offer is the results of mathematical logic.

The elements you set forth here, are that you can't follow the most common advice, and comment upon, or ask about what is in the lady's profile, because she didn't put anything there. You are only writing to her because you are attracted by her picture, but you do see well enough through the fog of natural lust, that you don't want to rattle on about your sexual fantasies.

I look at those elements, and through simple subtraction, I arrive at the answer: ask questions about their POSSIBLE interests, by starting from your own (again other than prurient ones). In other words, since they provide you nothing to talk about themselves, make your attempt to get to know them, based on finding out what they are interested in.

No promises, as I said, just logic.
 ladymercury
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 9
Limited Profile
Posted: 11/20/2013 4:20:40 AM
You wouldn't come off as creepy if you sent a little note that commented on beauty. But I would couple that with something along the lines of, "What gives? You have little to no information in your profile. How does a woman like you leave so much up to interpretation for guys like me to try to get to know you? If you're interested in my photo, send me a message back and we'll chat. I'd be thrilled to have a bit of back and forth and see where things go." Or something like that.

Now you're flirty and being honest about the lack of content stuff. If she finds you attractive she'll send a note back.
 prit123
Joined: 11/6/2013
Msg: 10
Limited Profile
Posted: 11/20/2013 6:08:30 AM
I feel like some of y'all are casting judgement way too quickly.

Also, when you meet someone in the "real world", you can initiate a conversation with "Hey, How's it going" and then say something about where y'all are at or a situation that y'all are sharing at the moment. The issue in online dating, most women are trained to ignore the simple "how are you messages"

Again, I think some of you are missing the point of this conversation. It is not about the overall conversation, but just the initiation.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 11
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Posted: 11/20/2013 7:10:56 AM
I remember a thread awhile back where guys were addressing this issue they sent some oddball message like "There's something weird about your profile" and then the girl would usually write back "what do you mean" or "like what". It seemed to be working for the guys that were using it. From there the conversation would start.

You could also talk about yourself " Hey your pictures caught my eye so I thought I would write. I just moved to the ..... area recently for a great job. I enjoy hiking (insert whatever here) and being fit (insert whatever here). So what about you? What do you enjoy doing in your free time? I'd love to get to know you more.

You could always go with what the other poster said about telling a joke or something funny.

The truth is as long as you don't write something stupid if they like your pictures/profile their going to respond even to "how are you doing", although I've found these conversations to be a bit like pulling pins and needles from my eyeballs!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 12
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Posted: 11/20/2013 9:47:36 AM
I tried the ol' "give 'em a neg" routine, and they weren't feelin' any desire to respond and correct me. It works when the "one sentence woman" actually finds you attractive. I'd ask them about something in one of their photographs ("where is that building located?", for example), and still wouldn't get back a response (that kinda surprised me, how hard is it to answer a question?). If they mentioned hiling or biking as an interest, I'd ask for recommendations of good trails. no offers to help there, either.

Again, if they ain't interested, nothing you do will make them think differently than they were raised to think. A self-proclaimed online dating expert named DaveM says he emailed 4000 women he was interested in (apparently doesn't live in a small town)and only got a few hundred to return fire--and he sells that as success. The good news is, that means you can't really screw it up if you aren't a jerk about your email. Women will respond to a hot guy with a bland profile (according to postings here in the forums), for the same reason guys will respond to a hottie with a bland profile. so go ahead and do what little you can with what little they posted on their profile.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 13
Limited Profile
Posted: 11/20/2013 11:49:36 AM
Dude, I have a short profile (on purpose), and while it may not say anything about me to the average bear, it says a lot to many people, and they are able to formulate a sentence or two for me to respond to. There is a list of interests, pick one, ask a question. There are pictures with captions, ask about them, or its location, or whatever, something!

You make it seem like you know nothing and therefore cannot formulate a question. It is precisely because you don't know anything, that you should be asking what you want to know of her:
"How come you have such a short profile? I'd love to hear/read more about you. I'll let you a little about me........and I'd love to hear more about what you're into, what is your favorite cuisine, the song you are listening to right now, etc"

Ask about what you want to know. If you are that drawn to their pictures but can't figure out what to say, ask about something you want to know about her.

Most men do exactly what you are doing, they look at pictures and then have a burning desire to send a message. They don't read the profile, they skip through it all and just send a message that makes no sense, because the only thing they saw was pictures.

I've gotten stupid messages like "I saw your profile and I liked what I saw", like really? Or like the guy who asked me out on a date on first message. I agree to the date, the place, the time, its all set up, and then 30 mins later, he sends me "nice rack", lol. What am I supposed to do with that? I canceled the date. When writing messages, think with your brain, not your d*ck.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 14
Limited Profile
Posted: 11/20/2013 6:30:59 PM
See a pretty girl on here with a total lack of information on her profile, then don't bother talking to her cause shes not really a fish. Just a decoy! but if you really want to send her a message and she expects you to pull and Ice Breaker out of you Buttocks then just ask a random question. Pretend she is just a girl at a bar. Ask
"do you believe in aliens?"
"what brought you to this wacky site?"
"Waffles or Pancakes!? Which do you prefer?"
"Do you think there will ever be a female president?"
If thoes don't start a conversation chances are they are boring or stuck up.
or just not attracted to you
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 15
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Posted: 11/21/2013 12:09:20 PM
How bout those women's profiles that have just the basic info with enough random characters typed in to meet the minimum character count? Some don't even have a picture.

And I like how there's no generalization about 'most men' in this thread.
 usmale6
Joined: 9/14/2013
Msg: 16
Limited Profile
Posted: 11/21/2013 2:27:56 PM

I remember a thread awhile back where guys were addressing this issue they sent some oddball message like "There's something weird about your profile" and then the girl would usually write back "what do you mean" or "like what". It seemed to be working for the guys that were using it. From there the conversation would start.


- Sure, there are lines you can use to get more responses. But I won't post them here. Why? - because they are useless... they are not qualified responses. A message tailored simply for sheer volume of responses is useless, because quality of responses is important too. In fact, a more mundane message is sometimes more useful because it will tend to weed out the tire-kickers. Just because someone writes to you does not mean they are attracted to you. Do you smell the coffee? - it's not a coffee date.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 17
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Posted: 11/22/2013 7:28:04 AM
they are not qualified responses. A message tailored simply for sheer volume of responses is useless, because quality of responses is important too.

What are you going to write to someone who has "ask me" in their profile? Do you really expect him to write this brilliant, poetic beautiful message to someone who can't manage to string more than two words together? You get what you put out! He's taking a huge risk that the person on the other end of the "ask me" profile actually has a brain that can formulate a coherent thought and just wrote that because they were in a hurry or they don't like writing about themselves! Personally I wouldn't put much time and effort into it. When I get messages from "ask me" men and if I decide to write back it's usually "your profile is blank". I'm not trying to waste 2 hours writing a message asking 50 questions like we're on Jeopardy or something. But OP is a guy, guy's can't afford to be as picky therefore he's left to deal with the girls who can't be bothered with putting any effort into their dating lives. Much of what happens online and in real life is that relationships start out with strangers what my friend likes to call "image boning". You don't know this person so all you have is an image in your head which is largely composed of physical.

Some seem to be jumping OP's sh!t because he wants to write to girls he finds physically attractive and test out the waters to see if there's more than a box of rocks in their heads. Is that so wrong?

Just because someone writes to you does not mean they are attracted to you

What? Of course if someone is writing to me on a dating site that means their attracted to me, at least physically! Why do people try to pretend that physical attraction isn't the first thing that comes into play both online and in real life? If he's writing to me I can 100% assure you that it isn't because I like long walks on the beach, read by the fire place or crochet baby socks while sipping wine, it's because he finds me attractive. If a guy hits on me in a grocery store it isn't because he likes my T Bone steak, he doesn't know anything about me, it's because he's physically attracted to me. Later on the reason he sticks around (or doesn't) is because of my personality, emotions,commonalities and other things non physical.

that their hair smelled really nice

hahaha NO! Don't do this. Makes you sound like a pantie sniffer!
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 18
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Posted: 11/22/2013 7:42:28 AM

What are you going to write to someone who has "ask me" in their profile?

"Shag?"
;)
 usmale6
Joined: 9/14/2013
Msg: 19
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Posted: 11/22/2013 10:25:59 AM

jessebunnies, you are just going to beat me up today aren't you ;)





What are you going to write to someone who has "ask me" in their profile? Do you really expect him to write this brilliant, poetic beautiful message to someone who can't manage to string more than two words together? You get what you put out! He's taking a huge risk that the person on the other end of the "ask me" profile actually has a brain that can formulate a coherent thought and just wrote that because they were in a hurry or they don't like writing about themselves! Personally I wouldn't put much time and effort into it. When I get messages from "ask me" men and if I decide to write back it's usually "your profile is blank". I'm not trying to waste 2 hours writing a message asking 50 questions like we're on Jeopardy or something.


- You say (write) the same things you might say to them in the street... such as, "Hi, how are you?" or, "How long have you lived in the area and where are you from". You don't need words in a profile to start a conversation. Just ask a question. Simple. You are making this out to be more complicated than it really is.




But OP is a guy, guy's can't afford to be as picky therefore he's left to deal with the girls who can't be bothered with putting any effort into their dating lives.


- I'll admit, that depending on the age group, women usualy do have more of the power, the edge... a pretty woman has lots of guys hitting on her without lifting a finger. However, guys still can bridge the gap, simply by messageing more women. It's a number's game for men.



Just because someone writes to you does not mean they are attracted to you



What? Of course if someone is writing to me on a dating site that means their attracted to me, at least physically! Why do people try to pretend that physical attraction isn't the first thing that comes into play both online and in real life? If he's writing to me I can 100% assure you that it isn't because I like long walks on the beach, read by the fire place or crochet baby socks while sipping wine, it's because he finds me attractive. If a guy hits on me in a grocery store it isn't because he likes my T Bone steak, he doesn't know anything about me, it's because he's physically attracted to me. Later on the reason he sticks around (or doesn't) is because of my personality, emotions,commonalities and other things non physical.


- I don't know what you are talking about... men talk to people all the time they are not attracted to. But I should have qualified my statement... just because someone writes does not mean they are attracted ENOUGH for it to go anywhere. And yes, many people will message on a dating site just to talk or for friends.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 20
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Posted: 11/22/2013 11:44:14 AM
you are just going to beat me up today aren't you

Haha no I actual (((heart))) you! Your one of my fav posters. Awww.... anyway


You say (write) the same things you might say to them in the street... such as, "Hi, how are you?" or, "How long have you lived in the area and where are you from".

I disagree because your dealing with two different animals here and it mainly comes down to competition. Online there's a huge amount of competition. I'll put it in perspective hopefully. When I changed my pictures last month I got 154 messages in 2 days. I'm 38 soon to be 39. Op is messaging women in their early through late 20's so imagine the response these girls get. I had plenty of "hi how are you?" "what are you up to?" "hi" "your sexy" messages that I didn't bother to respond to. Why would I? I went to the grocery store last night and the seafood clerk was hitting on me. Our conversation started with "how are you doing?" There weren't 50 other guys trying to hit on me at the same time so that conversation starter worked just fine. Clubs are another place that for an attractive girl resemble the online world. 50 guys trying to approach and game the hot girl. It requires more than "hi" "hey" "your sexy" to get her attention away from all the others. The problem is online that these girls aren't giving OP anything to go off of so he has to pull stuff out of his azz which requires one to be creative, whacky and a little bit out there. He needs to be competitive but at the same time figure out if she has more than a box of rocks to share to go along with that cute face. It's hard to do that with "ask me".


I'll admit, that depending on the age group, women usualy do have more of the power, the edge... a pretty woman has lots of guys hitting on her without lifting a finger. However, guys still can bridge the gap, simply by messageing more women. It's a number's game for men.


I agree. Online 100% it's a numbers game. Let's not forget that OP in his late 20's and his age restrictions are 24-32 (as I recall) so he's up against a steep hill I would imagine!


I don't know what you are talking about... men talk to people all the time they are not attracted to. But I should have qualified my statement... just because someone writes does not mean they are attracted ENOUGH for it to go anywhere.


I think we are saying the same things essentially. Physical attraction is what pulls someone in personality/bonding is what keeps them staying. OP isn't even any where near the personality/bonding stage he's at the drawing in stage where he's wondering is there a personality behind the cute photo or is it blank just like the profile is.

There are very few men who write to women on this site (apart from forum postings) who are not attracted to them physically. This is my experience anyway, I could be wrong? Yes maybe they settle for being penpals or friends with a woman due to distance, reality of being able to go through with a relationship, or hoping the woman will change her mind (a friends zone situation)but the vast majority of online communication is NOT them thinking their going to be my new BFF!
 usmale6
Joined: 9/14/2013
Msg: 21
Limited Profile
Posted: 11/23/2013 9:17:17 AM





You say (write) the same things you might say to them in the street... such as, "Hi, how are you?" or, "How long have you lived in the area and where are you from".



I disagree because your dealing with two different animals here and it mainly comes down to competition. Online there's a huge amount of competition. I'll put it in perspective hopefully. When I changed my pictures last month I got 154 messages in 2 days. I'm 38 soon to be 39. Op is messaging women in their early through late 20's so imagine the response these girls get. I had plenty of "hi how are you?" "what are you up to?" "hi" "your sexy" messages that I didn't bother to respond to. Why would I? I went to the grocery store last night and the seafood clerk was hitting on me. Our conversation started with "how are you doing?" There weren't 50 other guys trying to hit on me at the same time so that conversation starter worked just fine. Clubs are another place that for an attractive girl resemble the online world. 50 guys trying to approach and game the hot girl. It requires more than "hi" "hey" "your sexy" to get her attention away from all the others. The problem is online that these girls aren't giving OP anything to go off of so he has to pull stuff out of his azz which requires one to be creative, whacky and a little bit out there. He needs to be competitive but at the same time figure out if she has more than a box of rocks to share to go along with that cute face. It's hard to do that with "ask me".



- It depends a lot on what type of woman she is... is she high maintenance or low maintenance? And whether she thinks his picture is attractive. Also keep in mind that a percentage of women will write the man first online. That's even less than "hi", or "ask me". It still boils down to mostly attraction... if the guy looks like Brad Pitt, he does not need to write much if anything in the profile or messages. Even if he is not a stud muffin... while he won't get as much action, there will still be one or two women a year who like him... there is somebody for everybody.

And like I said, while creative messages can illicit more replies, they will be poor quality from women who are not that into him. One initial message will not build attraction.

We actually agree on most of this stuff I think... and I'm probably not going to argue my points much more... I usually just like to post my 3 cents (for inflation!) and let it ride. Besides, I'm a lover, not a fighter... Which Micheal Jackson was it that said that in a song... was that the younger black version, or the older white one?!


Haha no I actual (((heart))) you! Your one of my fav posters. Awww.... anyway


- That's a nice thing to say, thank you. I like your posts as well.... I especially liked your posts on circular dating recently.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 22
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Posted: 11/24/2013 8:58:48 AM
Don't message them. Find a different girl whose profile has something worth a message.
 bellface
Joined: 3/12/2015
Msg: 23
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Posted: 3/16/2015 12:18:14 PM
Why don't you read his question first?
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 24
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Posted: 3/16/2015 3:51:52 PM

but you don't really have anything to say other than some variation of "Hi, how are you?" This, as most of you know, is almost always automatically ignored by 95% of women in the online dating world.

Yeah, won't work 100% of the time for gals who aren't attracted to ya, but won't be that far from the % if they have at least some attraction. Seriously. As long as Your profile is fruitful -- it's actually not that bad.

But it's still not ideal... but you can easily ask a question like if they're originally from that area, what kind of field they're in, etc. When they have an empty profile, and you ask about something general & common that they didn't have in it -- then you did nothing wrong in your approach; they're just not interested. Don't think about it too much. Online it's about looks, looks, looks -- especially if she has a blank profile. Blank profiles are the ones where you have LESS to worry about in what you write (as their blank profile reflects their expectations on substance in initial writing).
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 25
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Posted: 3/16/2015 5:06:53 PM
Winky faces work perfect in these cases!
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