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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Thanksgiving alone..do it!      Home login  
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 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 1
Thanksgiving alone..do it!Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Just wishing everyone a very happy thanksgiving...alone or with your families..its a tough time of year, dredges up alot of awareness when you are alone, reading the facebook updates of everyone who have happily found someone, and who keep announcing like a play by play how much FUN they are having making dinner together, playing with the dogs, enjoying a delicious dinner and then so very thinly veiling the fact that sex is just SO great. HAHAHAHA

It's enough to want to grab a rope and look for the highest beam.

But dont. Because you're cool. And you've got a couple days of complete freedom..no compromises with anyone, no interruptions..the day is yours. Make a simple dinner or hang out with your relatives. Friday off? Perfect day to garden, clean things up, bag stuff up for the more needy, freshen up the house, make a few changes. Tak eadvantage of your creativity. Take a drive...bring home some weird new furniture. Rake the leaves! Count your blessings.

Once life is not about when when when will something happen, you start to realize it IS happening! Alone or with a partner, most of us have had both. We've been lucky enough to have lived a varied and multi faceted life. Today is just another day to continue along that route.

Onward, onward...into the cool wintery chill...to the next adventure, still unwritten!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 2
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Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 11/28/2013 11:27:13 AM
After you have spent a few holiday alone, you will probably wonder why it was such a big deal to begin with.
Now I don't even notice that it was ever a problem.

I agree it is time to do exactly what we want to do.

Imo, if before the holiday you think you might have a hard time getting through by yourself, it is a perfect time to give yourself what I call the perfect pit party time. By that I don't mean sit around and be miserable. I mean spoil yourself with whatever takes your fancy. Do things that you have always wanted to do but didn't have time for, or you didn't want to spend money on. Spoil yourself something rotten!
 Indira46
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 3
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Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 11/28/2013 2:57:16 PM
I do volunteer work. Every year on Thanksgiving, I volunteer at the local community center. We do a huge dinner for veterans and their families. I always run the dessert cart. Everyone loves a woman with pie! This year my legs made it on the local news...
 forumfella
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 4
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 11/28/2013 3:16:13 PM
The first couple christmas's were hard being alone, but Now i enjoy it... just seems less hectic, just another day to relax
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 5
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 11/28/2013 3:21:47 PM
There are some of us drowning in that freedom. The sad thing for me is that now I am torn between wanting that relationship and close companionship that still haunts me, and the desire to not be around another demanding and judgmental living soul. I have a list of projects as long as my arm, but no energy to tackle them. Do what I want to do? That would be sleep the rest of my life away because I at least have some nights where the world just goes away.

Best of luck to the rest of you. My soul is lost.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 6
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Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 11/28/2013 8:06:11 PM
My first Thanksgiving without my dad. Mom has been gone 4 years. Husband bailed 2 years ago and is spending the holiday this year moving his fiancee across country to live here. But life is good. Went on a cruise and just got back. At Christmas I will be taking an awesome trip. There are worse things than being alone.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 7
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 11/29/2013 12:25:57 PM
Thanksgiving weekend is usually LOADED with things to do. Major sports teams usually have one home game, the High School 'Prep Bowl' with all the Football Championships in my state is this weekend, and a lot of local club bands have 'reunions' where old band members (or people from OTHER hometown bands) come back to visit relatives and sit in on a session for a HELLUVA good show. I got a friend who's a conductor for Amtrak and he said yesterday the dining car was LOADED with strangers having turkey dinner in-between destinations. You're only alone if you CHOOSE to be.
 actualizing
Joined: 9/3/2013
Msg: 8
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 11/30/2013 3:52:08 PM
Blessing to you this Thanksgiving dear Volcano King. Yes, it is about counting the blessings that we have, that is for sure. I always like reading what you have to say. I like your no-nonsense advice and kind heart.
 forumfella
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 9
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 11/30/2013 4:44:19 PM
....And she's pretty cute too!

Happy holidays southern neighbors
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 10
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/2/2013 4:59:17 PM
I've spent a few Thanksgiving by myself. When I was working full time+ I really appreciated a day to myself without having to deal with anyone, or any particular schedule, or DRIVING in fooking crazy weather and drunk drivers. While I was married we did the full on traditional Thanksgiving with a horde of family, friends, and neighbors full of drama. Since the divorce I've either been by myself or done something non-traditional. Like the year my son and I took the ferry to Victoria Canada, stayed in a beautiful suite at the harbor, and then had 'American Thanksgiving' dinner at the hotel. 3 days, and the last Thanksgiving, with my son before he hit the age where he does the holidays with his girlfriend.

Then, a few years ago I had a Thanksgiving with a special someone that was about as perfect a day as is possible - even with one huge kitchen error that turned into a real learning-about-each-other bonding event. That day kind of ruined Thanksgiving for me since then.

This year I was invited to a friend's house, within walking distance of my house, but I declined. I want to spend the day with someone 'special', not just not be alone. Decided to make turkey, stuffing, and pie at home and be good to myself. The weather was FABULOUS! Walked to a private beach and sat on the cliff above the bay and watched the ships, waves and birds and thought about all the things I'm thankful for. The thing is, I'm ok being on my own about 360 days per year but there are about 5 days per year that are important to me and I want to share them with someone special. So, yes, I was sad on Thanksgiving. Not 24 hrs of weeping and wailing. But, yes, shed more than one or two tears. There are so many things I am thankful for but being alone isn't one of them.
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 11
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Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/3/2013 12:31:29 PM
And your question? This seems more like a blog.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 12
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Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/3/2013 1:29:18 PM
I have spent Thanksgiving alone before. There were times in the prehistoric era when I was single that I have the time (or desire sometimes) to go to my family so I spent it alone by choice. Funny, how I enjoyed that when it was by choice but not when it is not.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 13
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/3/2013 3:34:27 PM
Message 13: This seems like the one forum, out of all of them here, that a "general" supportive comment might be made, as it seems alot of people out there are alone and hurting, especially at this time of year.



Oh, and have a rockin' day!
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 14
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/3/2013 4:20:33 PM

And your question? This seems more like a blog.

I know some of the less positive long time forumites like to throw this one out there on particularly inane or nonsensical posts. But just to clarify:

Posting guidelines here –

A valid thread consists of you posting a topic, a question, or an opinion on a subject that applies to the forum you are posting to, and to which, the subject of your thread must have the potential to be discussed, or debated in a back and forth dialogue between you and the other members. If you are simply asking for opinions, It would be helpful to start the discussion by you also posting your own opinion.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1345738.aspx

Main POF Forums purpose –

Our forums are just another great platform that allows our users to come together to communicate and share with each other. So feel free to begin a discussion, pose a question, offer your feedback, and start connecting with other local singles right now!

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/

Both of those say a valid thread can be a discussion. Doesn’t require a question to be asked.
But, duly noted that the only content of your post is bashing and off topic.

Have a nice day.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 15
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/3/2013 9:31:00 PM
Thank you, Cynthia!

I've noticed the forums have actually calmed down considerably from when I first joined..the level of cruelty and snark was ridiculous, especially on forums created for people to come on and ask questions that are personal. I certainly can't be the only one to notice how angry, miserable and hateful the internet has become in just the last year or so. Every chance to lunge at someone, call them a racist, tar and feather then publicly, try to make them look like a jackass, it's all fair game, everywhere. You can't get thru one or two comments on news stories without it turning into a race war, and you can't come onto a dating forum without someone jumping down your throat or slicing you end to end after making yourself emotionally vulnerable.

And I'm not talking about the genuine trolls and people who come on and are playing games, screwing around here...even kind remarks, innocent questions, and people who have something constructive to say are cut off at the knees.


And I'm sure, after a long and tiring night of calling people racists, goofing on them and accusing them of being "bitter" (another classic) these people click off their computers, climb into bed and lay there staring at the ceiling thinking "I just made people feel like sh@t tonight. I'm really proud of myself, and I can't wait to do it tomorrow night."
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 16
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Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/3/2013 10:32:35 PM
^^^ Oh don't get me started on THAT topic. No topic is safe from snarkiness. I was reading one form a good while back. The name calling and insults were just ridiculous. The topic? A guacamole recipe.

I think some people do it just to stir things up and other people do it because it's just their personality. I also think sometimes people start formulating a reply before they have read the whole thing and because this is faceless, we don't any facial or vocal clues to give us the intended tone. Was the person joking or not? Did I misinterpret what was intended or not? It's kinda like the elephant and the blind men. I have a tendency to do these things also, but I can sometimes predict who is going to give negative feedback. If you have 10 people, you have 28 opinions. I jut figure it's the nature of the beast.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 17
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/3/2013 11:11:38 PM
A guacamole recipe! Hahahahaha!

I can just imagine...about 5 comments in, someone got accused of being Hitler.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 18
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/5/2013 8:29:12 AM
I have for the past several years, participated in putting on a community Thanksgiving dinner...this is a PROJECT because the bulk of the meal is done from SCRATCH. I mean REAL mashed potatoes, real stuffing, sweet potatoes baked. peeled and re-baked.
But yanno, it's not always a bad thing to have a holiday all to yourself,either.
I do have family get-togethers upcoming but they won't be on the actual holidays.
One other thought
Joe, you are so NOT a lost soul! I think you are going through some tough things right now but don't you dare give up.
Cindy O
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 19
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Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/5/2013 8:49:36 AM
hahaha...yeah...that is pretty true. Plus some thought it was typical Republican marlarky and others thought it was the usual Democrat bleeding hearts.
Never thought I'd see a discussion of guacamole turn in to a political mudthrowing slugfest.

When it comes to Thanksgiving alone, I've had good ones and I have had bad ones. What works well for some people doesnt for others. One of those find your niche kinda things.
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 20
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/5/2013 2:04:51 PM
VolcanoKing, thank you for your OP. I appreciate the spirit in which you made it. :-)
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 21
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/5/2013 7:28:27 PM
I have had no problem with being by myself at Thanksgiving.

When I was married, I went to my then in-laws home for Thanksgiving to hear and witness AGAIN, my mother-in-law's new husband hack up his food and phlegm right onto his plate where his meal was.

Yes.

Lovely.

I recall the look on my little sons' faces.

Do I miss that?
 aquila75
Joined: 11/8/2013
Msg: 22
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 12/10/2013 11:34:13 PM

The thing is, I'm ok being on my own about 360 days per year but there are about 5 days per year that are important to me and I want to share them with someone special. So, yes, I was sad on Thanksgiving. Not 24 hrs of weeping and wailing. But, yes, shed more than one or two tears. There are so many things I am thankful for but being alone isn't one of them.


You might consider a hobby or find a good book, something you really enjoy and can "get lost in the moment." An example being; while I'm painting I'm concentrating on this brush, that color, and it's nothing for me to just lose 2-3 hours at a time.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 23
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 11/23/2014 4:20:37 AM
I thought this thread was a good one & it is that time of the year...

Yesterday, I went to a large chain store & picked a couple of silly stocking stuffers for my adult sons & I looked thru the toy section, feeling nostalgic & almost tearful (they grow up sooo fast!)

There were all these Christmas songs blaring, many quite ROMANTIC...
that could suck for the people who don't have romance this time of year or anytime of the year, as Thanksgiving & Xmas are not necessarily Romantic Holidays...more family oriented...as the typical family evolves towards singledom & single parents, & diff relationships...I'd hope society would evolve w/ it...

I think it would be good if there were more GROUPS for single people or single parents who could celebrate together if they chose to, or local events in public places or eateries, etc.

or even for categories of people not necessarily single..

Like Vegan Thanksgiving meetups etc.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 24
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 11/23/2014 8:45:52 AM
Thanksgiving is my mom's favorite holiday so it was always a big production when I was growing up. After my parent's divorce our little family wasn't enough people for mom's idea of a proper Thanksgiving so she would contact some local social agency and invite people from there. One year it might be a couple single mothers and their children, another year it might be homeless vets. The last year was some international agency (mom thought it would be great to share an American holiday) that I think was either not very thoughtful, or not very nice. I don't remember the exact combination of folks they sent, but it was like an Israeli family and a Palestinian family. Not a fun evening for anyone.

I married a man from a large family that might have 20+ people for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately that was way too much stress for my MIL, who is a drama queen on her best day, so let's just say that every Thanksgiving was more fun than I'd like to have. Thought it might get better when the baton was passed and we, my husband and I, would host their family Thanksgiving. Nope. That just meant we couldn't get away by going for a walk while dinner was cooking.

First few Thanksgiving after the divorce I stayed home, alone, and made the full 'traditional' dinner except just a turkey breast instead of a full turkey. I put on the music I wanted to listen to, pieced whatever quilt I happened to be working on at the time, chatted online, and had a lovely quiet day I could truly give thanks for.

The last few years I've been going to my sister's - she is a fabulous cook and puts together a party of friends and no children. This year may be the last for our mother so Thanksgiving will be at my house with just me, my sister and her husband, and our parents. Yet another formulation of Thanksgiving.
 BeachBikeHike
Joined: 8/15/2014
Msg: 25
Thanksgiving alone..do it!
Posted: 11/23/2014 12:03:14 PM
I've worked in health care over 20 years, and I've always worked on Thanksgiving. After work, I fix tacos and watch football. It might sound weird to others, but it's an enjoyable day for me.

This year, I was invited by co-workers to go out to IHOP to eat breakfast for dinner, after we finish our workday. The truth is, I'd rather do pretty much ANYTHING than sit at a table full of bickering family members.
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