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 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 2
Update: Pregnant and HurtingPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I dont think anyone relishes the thought of an expectant Mom having issues with the baby's father. Least I dont.

It is nice that you are feeling loved.

You cannot hold peoples previous advice against them...based on what you had posted previously about this man/relationship, that old advice was sound advice.

If you go back and read what you stated here...and then imagine your future daughter going threough that...wouldnt you advise her to move on?

I dont wish you anything but good fortune, and I truly hope this man has realised some grown up things and takes his role in this baby's life seriously.

Good luck!
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 3
Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/6/2013 1:46:44 PM

I still like when people update their posts, and I wanted to do so as well.
Then you should have done that.... updated your initial thread instead of starting a new one.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 5
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/6/2013 3:01:15 PM
Thanks for the update, and I'm glad things are going well for you. Hope you all have a great Christmas, and many happy years.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 6
Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/6/2013 3:30:55 PM
It's nice to hear some positive progress happening in someone's life. In this case, the lives of three eventual people! Good luck with you.

And, for the petty picking about starting a new thread-we're talking about someone getting their life together and two people becoming responsible adults. Take your toxic negativity somewhere else. We're not interested.
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 7
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/6/2013 4:30:07 PM
"I still like when people update their posts, and I wanted to do so as well.
Then you should have done that.... updated your initial thread instead of starting a new one."

gcdeb was right...the rules are posted for a reason.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 8
Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/6/2013 5:21:45 PM
OMG............The OP is writing an update to a previous thread. Ok ok ok ok ok, let's make sure we scold her in supposedly breaking the forum rules. I get it, but really? That's the best someone can reply to this "new" thread?

OP, good for you, you are getting help and sounds like things are reflecting on that. I didn't re-read your other thread that you SHOULD HAVE POSTED THERE ABOUT THIS(yikes), but you are doing what anyone should do when there are issues and that is seriously try to figure out how to make things right. So many people have written threads that are toxic and still don't get it and you are working on you which is awesome!!

Don't stop what you are doing and keep talking with good communication.
 BLUEMISS
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 9
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/6/2013 5:25:08 PM
Ever think that maybe it's time to change the rules? Good for you OP.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 10
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/6/2013 5:29:57 PM
We don't change the rules, the owner does that, if he wants to. I like all the scolding (pot meet kettle) of people telling the OP the truth, follow the rules or go to a site where you like the rules better. How hard is that?
 BLUEMISS
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 11
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/6/2013 5:41:55 PM
I for one, think posts should have a shelf life and then be gone. I don't want to look for an old post about whatever topic I have a question for. I want new feedback and new posts... And it's not hard to follow rules, if you wish, but that doesn't mean the rule might just suck the big one.Just my opinion.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 12
Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/6/2013 8:33:58 PM

toxic negativity
Over-reaction much?
 aquila75
Joined: 11/8/2013
Msg: 13
Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/7/2013 12:47:02 AM
Rules are highly over-rated, I prefer a new thread rather than have to read through 10 pages of an old thread when most of it is garbage anyway. best wishes and merry ho ho
 Lexti
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 14
Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/7/2013 7:12:58 AM

I for one, think posts should have a shelf life and then be gone. I don't want to look for an old post about whatever topic I have a question for. I want new feedback and new posts... And it's not hard to follow rules, if you wish, but that doesn't mean the rule might just suck the big one.Just my opinion.


I kinda agree with this one. Not being able to discuss a topic because one was posted back in 2006 and most of the commenters are deleted and gone. And then you see people posting and giving advice on threads from 2008 where the OP is deleted and gone because they don't realize it.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 15
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/8/2013 4:48:22 AM
^^^^^
Even if the OP is not deleted, I prefer to click on their history to see when they last posted. They may not be active on the forums any longer or their profile is dormant if they haven't posted in years.

Back on topic...thanks for the update.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 16
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/9/2013 8:13:40 AM
I am glad that your BF is getting his act together and supporting your needs. But why is his adult 20 year old son moving in? Are they both working and able to contribute to the household?
I would think the last thing a new mother needs is two unemployed housemates.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 17
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/9/2013 9:59:43 AM
What any of us think of the rules here has zero meaning to the fact that there are rules and only children think rules are not for them. If any of us do not like the rules here and think it should be another way, they are more than welcome to set up their own website and make their own rules. This I-don't-like-the-rules-so-nanabooboo type of posting is tiresome.

If OP wanted to add to her old post, she should have. It will bump it up and anyone can scan through it for a new posting date. It's pretty simple.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 18
Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/9/2013 10:17:28 AM
Personally, I think the rule about reviving an old thread vs. starting a new one, can be something of a judgement call ,and in this particular case the OP has made the right call.
The OP has posted some very positive and happy news. With all possible respect to everyone here, I find it quite telling that some chose to overlook this happy news and rush straight to a " OH! you broke the RULES!" comment.
Gawd, can't we cut the OP some slack and tell her we are GLAD to hear that things are finally going well?

I'm reminded of the analogy of a bucket of live crabs...one almost makes it over the rim of the bucket, to ESCAPE, but some of the other crabs reach up and pull the would-be escapee back down into the bucket.
I'm horrifically sorry to have to say this, but this thread tends to remind me of that bucket of crabs.

OP I am glad to hear of the positive turn of events in your life. Let me be the crab that DOESN'T try to pull you back into the bucket.
Cindy O
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 19
Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/9/2013 3:56:08 PM
Happy Holidays to you as well. I have no idea who you are and am not going to go back to the original thread to see what drama you were going through.

Kind of boring having an update of some situation I care nothing about. Why do you even think any of us care?

Anyway good for you, OP!
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 20
Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/9/2013 4:03:41 PM
Good that the dude is getting his act together. Bringing a child into the world requires stepping up to the plate and handling them responsibilities.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 22
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/9/2013 7:41:49 PM
1025 sq feet? Holy crow, that is going to be a tight fit. If you are in a condo it may be illegal, you should check with the homeowner's association. How does your roommate feel? They were there first, this must be a huge PITA for them.
I am happy that your BF is stepping up. But the most important thing is for you and your child to be happy, you may wish to reconsider the 21 year old.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 26
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/10/2013 9:38:02 AM
I love your stories, OP. They remind me of old-fashioned party games.

Keep them coming!
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 27
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/10/2013 10:40:02 AM
Why would you scan 10 pages? Just go to the last page and check the dates, and if something is 10 pages long I'm sure it's been filled with more than enough info. What's the point of this update? First you make it sounds like, look at me everything worked out, and then you add some more and it's still nothing but a big mess that for some reason you thought would be a good time to add an innocent baby to. If this is a true story, it just gets worse & worse, what in the world are you thinking??? Where does your BF's jobless son get his 300 a month to pay rent?

Because it's one of those growing stories, which are often fake, and if the son is jobless and such a problem, I'm curious where this income suddenly came from. Just trying to figure this whole installment story out.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 28
Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/10/2013 11:03:11 AM
Crabs in a bucket...
Just sayin'.
Anyway, OP, it sounds kind of complicated, but what with the economy and all, lots of "families- by blood or affinity-are dealing with complicated situations.

Where does your BF's jobless son get his 300 a month to pay rent?

Dayna, I think the world of you and 95% of the time we are pretty much on the same page, but in this case-how is it any business of ours where these folks are getting their money, as long as it's not proceeds of crime?
Cindy O(crab folding her claws and not pulling any other crab anywhere)
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 30
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/11/2013 12:07:46 AM

Then he asked if I would get 'greedy' over food with my son, and I said my son wouldn't be living at home at 23, which probably hurt him. He kept saying, "It's just food." And I said, "No, it's MONEY." but I do feel a bit greedy. It would be mostly his food money, but he has a lot of credit card and college debt and a baby to help support.



That does not bode well. You are going to find out VERY quickly how much his son's $300 isn't going to help out much if it goes toward his food.





I asked once if he was going to help out (chores, etc.) around the house, and my bf said, "If he's paying the $300 you're asking he doesn't have to do anything!" but then went on to say he'll help, just watch.


Part of being a grown-up is paying your bills, So his share of the rent includes maid services and catering?
Must be nice to pay rent and have someone else clean up after you and supply your grub!

This is not going to end well. Especially after the child is born.
 Bellacate
Joined: 9/26/2012
Msg: 32
Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/11/2013 4:54:45 AM
Good lord it's a train wreck waiting to happen and this was meant to be a good news update.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 33
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Update: Pregnant and Hurting
Posted: 12/11/2013 6:09:15 AM
It's not a train wreck WAITING to happen. It's a slow motion train wreck that's been happening in soap opera like installments for over a year.

I think it's great that you're boyfriend's son is living with you, OP. You'll have a built in, reliable babysitter. What could be better?
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