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 Splice_3
Joined: 11/29/2013
Msg: 1
Constructive criticism pleasePage 1 of 1    
I would like as many people as possible to give me some feedback on my profile. I'm not really having much luck on this site. Maybe my personality does not come across right. And I really wish women would respond to a message even if they are not interested. Being ignored is like saying your less than a human being, I'm better than you, and you aren't worth my time. When you respond with a simple not interested someone will usually stop trying. If I get ignored I do stop trying, but it makes me want to try again (beacause I'm wondering why and that seems dumb cause I know why). I don't ignore messages I always respond in the most respectful way possible and I take time to read profiles and only message women I am actually interested in and usually have common intersts with. I am not saying anything vulgar or asking for ONS' s. Im just trying to have fun, meet people with the same interests, and hopefully get a few dates. It is just kind of frustrating. I would appreciate some feedback thanks.
 StarshipNarrator
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 2
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Constructive criticism please
Posted: 12/10/2013 3:17:50 PM

Being ignored is like saying your less than a human being, I'm better than you, and you aren't worth my time. When you respond with a simple not interested someone will usually stop trying. If I get ignored I do stop trying, but it makes me want to try again (beacause I'm wondering why and that seems dumb cause I know why).


Actually, being ignored is like saying they're not interested in you. Consider the fact that you're only one of many guys that contacts any given woman. You're not entitled to a response back just like they aren't entitled to receive a message from a guy in the first place.

You would rather have a woman message you back and CONFIRM you'd never have a chance with her rather than just shrug off the no-response and go about your day? Think about that first before the profile, dude. Also, ending the profile by telling other women who you've had no correspondence with and hope to attract that you're failing to get responses is not tactful at all. Stop wanting rejection (them messaging you back) and stop projecting it (in your profile) and maybe you'll have success.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 3
Constructive criticism please
Posted: 12/10/2013 3:31:32 PM
Approximately 75% of the time I have sent a "not interested" message, the guy asks me why I don't like him. It completely defeats the point of me saying I'm not interested in a conversation. No reply IS a response, just not a favorable one. If anything, online dating will teach you that people communicate differently than you.

I'm not quite sure what your headline means. If you can't be on your own... then what? You'll die?

"Wants to date but nothing serious" can be misconstrued as seeking a ONS. It's the most casual of the Intent options POF has and there are people here just looking for sex. Even though you are just looking for a date, you might be scaring off the ladies who think you just want to get some.

Your pictures are okay. I don't get what picture #5 is and the first four pictures look similar to each other. But you're smiling, one is outside and the pictures have decent resolution. You're ahead of the typical profile. Try substituting a couple of those pictures with something else. Add captions to each picture with the general time taken (month/season and year is acceptable). The last one looks especially interesting. A caption briefly explaining the story behind it might be a starting point of conversation.

Being a parent could be a turn off to women around your age. You can't change that, but it might be a factor in a woman's decision to not reply to you.

Try splitting the first paragraph into two or three. You cover a lot of different topics in it, so just separating it can make your profile flow better.

Delete the last paragraph in your About Me. No one wants to be reprimanded. Plus, it's possible women are deleting your messages without even looking at your profile so they won't see your warning.

Put some effort into the first date section. Along with your very casual Intent, it adds to the vibe that you just want to find someone to sleep with.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 4
Constructive criticism please
Posted: 12/10/2013 4:15:25 PM
No one wants to see inside your nasal cavities. It's like looking into two, mini-armpits. Stop taking pics from below. Not flattering.

Besides, it's the last a person sees before you stomp on their head.


Being ignored is like saying your less than a human being, I'm better than you, and you aren't worth my time

Seriously? You give a stranger THAT much power over your mental well-being? You're allowing a stranger to define you THAT much?

'shakes head'

To be on a dating site, you'll certainly require a much, thicker skin.
 Splice_3
Joined: 11/29/2013
Msg: 5
Constructive criticism please
Posted: 12/10/2013 4:29:17 PM
I agree with most of the above statements. Paragraph three deleted. Anyway I would never argue with a not interested reply or ask why. As far as my headline it's staying and I may change it in the future. As far as intent that is not the most non-commital there is a step below. They really should swap I want a relationship and I'm putting in serious effort to find someone in my opinion. I will work on my first date section and splitting the paragraphs both great ideas thank you. Maybe that's what sucks about online dating is when you ask someone for a date face to face you know right away and can kind of gauge the mood of things. No single parent cares if their getting rejected based on being a single parent lol! And I know that is a turn off to some, but obviously those aren't the type of women I'm trying to attract. I would almost rather date a single parent. Expectations and entitlement wow! Thanks for that eye opener. I guess I neede a different perspective on a no reply thanks.
 fieryredhead77
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 6
Constructive criticism please
Posted: 12/10/2013 4:30:48 PM
You have a big wall of text and every sentence starts with' I' It is pretty boring. Break it up into paragraphs and find a way to describe without saying I went times.
 Splice_3
Joined: 11/29/2013
Msg: 7
Constructive criticism please
Posted: 12/10/2013 4:31:19 PM
Ha ha! Thanks for nothing. Maybe your here becasue you like to stomp people's heads.
 fieryredhead77
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 8
Constructive criticism please
Posted: 12/10/2013 4:39:13 PM
Me? I don't even know what you mean. If by chance that comment was to me: You asked for feedback. The feedback is valid, in my opinion. If you get worked up after I offer you specific suggestions to improve you profile, I would suggest you develop thicker skin, as I didn't say anything mean.
 Splice_3
Joined: 11/29/2013
Msg: 9
Constructive criticism please
Posted: 12/10/2013 4:47:51 PM
No not you. Your remove all the I's was a good one. I looked it over and "I" lol! Understand your point.
 fieryredhead77
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 10
Constructive criticism please
Posted: 12/10/2013 4:50:05 PM
Good. It was right after my post, so I thought, really? I was nice. You haven't seen mean on here. Believe me. But yrs, profile reviewers are good at being snarky. Remember though - we try to tell you what the average person really is thinking when they see your profile. We don't have a vested interest in your results.
 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 11
Constructive criticism please
Posted: 12/10/2013 5:25:13 PM
Do you know how to use the keyword search in the advanced search section? or the link feature in the Interests field?

You have a great smile/good teeth, so do lose the nasal inspection photo and get a decent smiling head shot (no selfies) with those great choppers as a main. A casual full length shot will also be very much appreciated.

You've already been beaten to death over the "no response IS as response" issue.
Just for fun, I'm also going to cut-and-paste some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages:

Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured/cheeky, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name.

Do not say:

- Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time)
- I read your profile (should be obvious)
- you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message)
- let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message)
- check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already)
- hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate)
Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you.

If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband.

Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? (first name only)

See the difference? I obviously read your profile, opened a conversation, no pressure.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 12
Constructive criticism please
Posted: 12/10/2013 5:45:44 PM
I'm telling you what others' think.

Thicker skin and all that, son.
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