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 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 1
Need advice on my profile.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I know I need some work on it but I can't quite figure out what. I haven't had much luck on this site and women that do respond hardly mention anything on my profile. Is it too long-winded or too confident (my greatest weakness)? Are the pictures also appropriate? I tried to capture interests I have but some of them do seem lame.
 sandytm
Joined: 9/25/2013
Msg: 2
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 12/11/2013 2:06:43 PM
1. Get a better headline.
2. Interests: Going out, Trying new things, Learning new things, Meeting new people
These aren't valid interests.

3. Friends and family members are biased, we don't want to know what they think.
4. Many sentences start with "I". The whole profile is bland and generic. I wish you showed some of your humor.

5. Choose a few of your interests and expand on them. Where have you travelled? If you could go to one country/city, which would it be? Why? How do you travel? Plane and then on foot or public transportation? Domestically by car?

What kind of concerts? Tell a bit about the music.

6. Women look at a mans profile to see how they would fit in their life. What activities would you do together.
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 3
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 12/11/2013 2:11:19 PM
So make a page describing yourself without the word "I", alright I'll keep that in mind...
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 12/11/2013 4:10:07 PM
No, don't worry so much about the I. It is possible to reword some things so the I is hidden in the middle of the sentence such as "hiking and fishing are things I enjoy". But after a while everyone knows you are just trying to avoid starting the sentence with I. What's much more important to me (and was important to me when I was your age) is you don't have grammatical errors. You don't have wrong usage (your instead of you're). You have proper capitalization. You have enough real Interests that it's not necessary to be concerned about the other ones.

In addition, you look good. So the only real problem is probably your age. Too many young men compared to the number of women.

Your profile is not too long. But when you write messages, keep them to maybe 2 sentences. Don't say anything about their looks (hey beautiful u r hot apparently turns off women under the age of 64). Mention something interesting they said in the profile and ask one question. But an easy to answer question not requiring a yes or no answer. I mean don't ask her "what is your view of the world" or "do you think global warming really exists, it was sure cold today".

Good luck. This is worse than real life dating.
 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 5
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 12/11/2013 4:27:34 PM
I agree with the comment on 'my friends think/say....'. Of course they do, they're you're friends. We don't know them either, so their opinion means nothing to us. If you are smart, write smart. If you are funny, write funny. As an 'intellectual', I bet you could!

The main photo is a great smile. Can you possibly crop it a bit closer for those women viewing you on a little cellphone app?

The shy at first crap can go. We don't care what you're like for the first 30 minutes. Everyone is like that. If your date decides you aren't horrible, what can she normally expect? "If I could pick one word to describe my personality it would be ...." And you picked Intellectual? Sounds like a laugh riot. Unless, of course, you can be clever AND funny.

The profile is definitely not long-winded. Jeez, do you really want someone who can't focus for longer than a commercial break? I hope not....

This stuff: I'm looking for a girl who accepts me for who I am, ... can go. This implies there's something wrong with you, or that you will never evolve. If someone decides you need to change your personality, dump her. The right one for you WILL accept you exactly as you are, warts and all. It's a given.

What are your introduction messages like?
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 6
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 12/11/2013 5:05:56 PM

What are your introduction messages like?


Not great I guess since I've been on here for almost a year and haven't gotten a relationship.
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 7
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 12/11/2013 5:27:37 PM
Your interests - are you looking for a guy to hang with or a date? Put in something that is couple friendly.
Your header " can't hurt to try" of course it can - ppl get hurt trying things all the time. Where Darwin awards came about " watch me do this" Header makes you some timid.
I vote using the one of you sitting as your Main

Sorry but it reads like countless others, set yourself apart from the others. Show us you are in fact funny.
The take me for who I am, I agree - makes it sound like we are in for a nice so nice surprise.
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 8
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 12/11/2013 5:59:28 PM
I don't really understand the "set yourself apart" advice. This is who I am, sorry I can't be a bank robber, brain surgeon, stunt man, or an international spy. I live a normal life, I'm not a shut-in but I'm not an adrenaline junky either. This is what gets me with dating, people say stay the same and be you but you really can't in the end, you have to cater yourself to be interesting to the masses not yourself.
 Lexti
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 9
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 12/11/2013 7:12:56 PM
Nobody is saying change who you are. They're saying change the way you write about yourself. Make it interesting so it stands out among the hundreds of other profiles written just the same. I'll give you an example from my old profile.

Boring -
I'm of a mixed racial background.

Interesting -
I'm basically a product of the Vietnam war and give much thanks to my parents for crossing the ethnic barriers in the 70s and creating my eccentric little butt.

Boring -
I don't drink much because of a genetic deficiency to process alcohol properly.

Interesting -
The last time I drank two whole glasses of wine, I ran into a door jam smashing my shoulder and fell busting up my knee pretty bad. I then crawled to my bed and lay hysterically laughing at my senseless inability to drink. Moral of the story? If we're going out for drinks, I'm a pretty cheap date. True story.

Get it? In order to keep them interested, you need to say something different that other guys AREN'T saying. Make em smile, make em laugh, just make them keep reading and want to know more!
 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 10
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 12/11/2013 7:16:23 PM
For example....

"quirky" sense of humour means nothing out of context. If you're not comfortable trying to be funny in your profile, you could easily add a line saying something like "My sense of humour runs along the same lines as Emo Phillips - the guy has me on the floor every time I hear him!" or.. " When I need a good laugh, The Anchorman or Tosh.0 never fails me." If you give a specific example, your viewer can either laugh with you or ask you about it. Besides setting yourself apart from the rest of the sheep, it adds colour/personality/detail to your profile that your viewer can remember.

You don't need to be Nobel Prize writing material, just add the specifics.

Introduction messages should be 3-4 sentences at max, specific to one topic in her profile, light humoured, no fluff, and include only one question so she has an easy way to respond IF she wants to.

Do I remember anything about your profile specifically? No. Not yet.


^^^ Even better examples right there!
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 12/11/2013 7:17:42 PM
You can't please everyone. It's more important not to stop looking in real life. I've been here for years. Met one man I did like but he lived too far away (lied about his location on his profile). Met and dated a man from another free site but he got away. I wanted to keep him.

But in that same time I've met about 5 guys at singles dances and dated them with varying degrees of success. I'm still single so I can't say anything has totally worked. But if an older person has better luck finding actual humans in real life, I'm sure a younger one would too.
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 12
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 12/23/2013 2:07:31 PM
Well I guess I got my work cut out for me. Thanks.
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 13
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/26/2014 10:56:33 PM
Ok how is it now?
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 14
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2014 12:05:26 AM
Pics--ok.
Interests: delete going out, trying new things, learning new things, meeting new people.
Delete first sentence--everybody is here to meet someone. The typos make it almost unreadable anyway.
Delete "partner in crime" stuff. Most over used phrase here.
Chivalry doesn't equal respect--it's a code of conduct.
If you graduated, you are no longer a student. Do you have a job besides "looking into the vastness of the future"?
You used stress 2x in one sentence.
The last paragraph is awkward--divide it up.
Give us a clue as to your personality.
Tell us traits of the woman you seek.
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 15
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2014 11:54:55 AM
Man, this is tough. lol so basically go back to the way my profile was? Oh boy.
 Lankyyankee
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 16
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2014 1:20:45 PM
I'd change your headline unless it's mandatory that you want to date a Star Wars fan. However, that isn't the biggest thing at issue here.

The upside here is that you have good photos going for you. I'd erase the one with the phone in it, but other than that they look pretty solid. The one on Mt. Rose might be a little dark, though.

The reason it's tough to get dates with a profile like this is because you're going about it the wrong way. From your photos, I bet you're the outdoorsy-type guy who likes a camping trip or a hike or fishing. Those are great interests for dating because some women like those, too, and they're also things that can bring out the passion in you. That's what good profiles do.

However, how you express these interests is lacking here. Saying "I like hiking" or "I like fishing" isn't what women are looking for. That's boring and every guy does it. Instead, you have to think about why you fish and why hiking is appealing to you. If you like fishing, try this. A great profile will have some sort of intro, talk about your job and/or an interest or two that you're interested in, then have some type of carefully-worded invitation for the women to come and message you. To start, try replying to this with the best fishing story that you can come up with. Don't edit, don't worry about grammar, just tell the story exactly how'd you tell me if we were sitting in a coffee shop and i said "What's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you while fishing?"
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2014 2:03:52 PM
You are adorable so it's not your looks.

Remember the age women you are aiming for have a LOT of men e mailing her.
So you have to put the best pics you can get on your profile, esp the main.

For GAWD sakes why can't you guys sound FUN?


Hiking Fishing Golfing
Shooting range Exploring Traveling
Going out Movies Watching sports
The gym Trying new things Meeting new people
Concerts Video games Camping
Going to the beach/river Learning new things Discussing current events

^^^ A barrel of fun there for a young woman.
My dad and you would have made a great couple after he retired and was getting on in years.

Other than concerts, the beach and possibly hiking, what young woman wants to do that sh1t with a cute guy?
They want to go out and do things. Not fish,play video games or "shoot me" GOLF.

EXP
Having a rum on the beach with a band playing on the surf, you can have an umbrella in yours.
River rafting and pontoon parties for two. You bring the ice.
Bruno Mars or Pitbul concerts coming> We're going!
Lets hike a volcano thats about to erupt.
Barneys pub has the best burger and juke box in town on Saturdays.


Name bands you like, pubs, clubs or places to go in your area that people with a pulse and skirt under 90 can enjoy.

Cast your rod in the pond and other cliches like a "partner in crime".


You just sound like a middle aged or old man that does old man stuff and no fun/creativity at all.
There is no excitement in your words or profile.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 18
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2014 2:17:47 PM
Reno guy - First off, congrats on living in a waycool town. Reno was a happening place long before there were even 2 gas stations in Las Vegas, I have always enjoyed going to Reno.
I don't think it would hurt your chances to be photographed in some nicer clothes, just to be ornery, that is :) You have the good looks, now all you have to do is stir up some emotion with your words. We want to know WHY you like to fish. Are you too cheap to buy your food at the store? Do you enjoy freezing your buns off at 5AM in a cold stream? Are you into hooks and string? What is it?
Talk about a few favorites movies, or favorite foods, talk about what is in you, , ,
that's what they get off on, and it gives them some easy openings to start conversations.
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 19
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2014 3:12:12 PM

You are adorable so it's not your looks.

Remember the age women you are aiming for have a LOT of men e mailing her.
So you have to put the best pics you can get on your profile, esp the main.

For GAWD sakes why can't you guys sound FUN?


Hiking Fishing Golfing
Shooting range Exploring Traveling
Going out Movies Watching sports
The gym Trying new things Meeting new people
Concerts Video games Camping
Going to the beach/river Learning new things Discussing current events

^^^ A barrel of fun there for a young woman.
My dad and you would have made a great couple after he retired and was getting on in years.

Other than concerts, the beach and possibly hiking, what young woman wants to do that sh1t with a cute guy?
They want to go out and do things. Not fish,play video games or "shoot me" GOLF.

EXP
Having a rum on the beach with a band playing on the surf, you can have an umbrella in yours.
River rafting and pontoon parties for two. You bring the ice.
Bruno Mars or Pitbul concerts coming> We're going!
Lets hike a volcano thats about to erupt.
Barneys pub has the best burger and juke box in town on Saturdays.


Name bands you like, pubs, clubs or places to go in your area that people with a pulse and skirt under 90 can enjoy.

Cast your rod in the pond and other cliches like a "partner in crime".


You just sound like a middle aged or old man that does old man stuff and no fun/creativity at all.
There is no excitement in your words or profile.


Listen, I appreciate the advice but these are things I like to do. Some of these aren't that exciting but we all can't be skydivers, brain surgeons, international spies, or monster truck drivers. I'm not going to change my hobbies and cater my life style to make a woman fall for me, I think that goes against the whole idea of finding someone genuine. If they're in a relationship so that a guy will buy them tickets for a Bruno Mars concert or take them on a vacation to Hawaii every month then I'm glad they're passing me over (these are the type of girls that expect you to buy them a $10,000 dollars engagement ring). If the main criteria for a partner with women these days is to provide nonstop action then I now understand fully why the divorce rate is so high.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 20
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2014 4:52:18 PM
Get rid of the mirror selfie. Everyone hates mirror selfies.
Your first paragraph says nothing, delete it.
Second one, partner in crime is the single biggest cliche on here, delete it.
Saying you're sarcastic won't win you much favour.
The little about me paragraph is not particularly interesting, best to discuss this kind of thing in person.

The last paragraph is pretty good, you should move this to the top and fix all the grammar errors. Also get rid of the "one of you" part, it's not very personal.
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 21
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2014 4:55:36 PM
$10,00o is a pretty cheap engagement ring
You are getting caught up in the fine print instead of looking at the bigger picture
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 22
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2014 4:56:40 PM
You are misinterpreting the advice.
Nobody said to be something you're not.
I bet you are way more alive than your text shows. This is what everyone is telling you.

If your life is interesting and you enjoy it, you need to show that.
You aren't showing passion for anything and it all reads very flat.

With all the advice you've been given, you've changed nothing...not even this: "...cast my fishing rob into the pound of online dating ...".
And it's the first line of your "about me".

Read the advice again and read your profile. It's all there. Not meant to be overwhelming or critical--all meant as suggestions and help.

Best of luck.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 23
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2014 5:22:15 PM
There are plenty of grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors still there from months ago that need to be corrected.
On the plus side, thank you for properly bumping your own Profile Review thread here. That is a good sign!
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 24
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2014 10:24:17 PM
Well, I made some little changes. Hope it's good enough.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 25
Need advice on my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2014 10:48:08 PM
Grammar and punctuation errors still persist.
You might wish to copy/paste into Microsoft Word, edit there, and copy/paste back to POF when completed.
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