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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What is happening here?      Home login  
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 3
What is happening here?Page 1 of 1    
The great folly of online dating..the sense of false intimacy.

Delete your account and date/meet people in real life.
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 4
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What is happening here?
Posted: 12/13/2013 10:45:50 AM
That is part of online dating. I will say though that you can't have a defeatist attitude like some do. Online dating is a compliment to your interaction in the real world and a helpful tool.
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 5
What is happening here?
Posted: 12/13/2013 10:55:52 AM

I am a female, I just didn't want my actual user name to appear on here.
So I've been talking with this guy. He is very much like me and is quite sweet. He opened up and told me a lot of things very quickly. He has been having a lot of difficulties in his life and I don't want to be pushy. We would talk a lot about everything, Never met.. We communicate through other means than POF now, but things just seem to be slowing down. I'm not hearing from him as much. I have a really hard time gauging when someone is interested in me so that's why i'm here. He's been on the site for four years and doesn't really bother with anyone, and doesn't really go on very often since we've been talking. I am just confused because he shared so much with me (things that I wouldn't expect guys to typically share so soon) now he seems so distant. I want to think it's just because of everything going on in his life but I don't want to be naive..

Have you met this person, in real life?

If not, then I advise you stop wondering about anything to do with him until you two actually lay eyes on one another. He may not even be an adult male.

How can anyone guage how interested someone is, when the two involved have never met in person?
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 6
What is happening here?
Posted: 12/13/2013 11:43:41 AM
You were an emotional trash can and now he's done. A person telling a stranger all of their deep dark secrets isn't anything new. Visit a bar late at night and you'll get an earful. You took his confessions as something special. I'm sorry, but that isn't always true. Some people find it easier to reveal their feelings to someone they'll never meet.

Move on and he'll come back if he's interested after his life levels out again.
Joined: 9/14/2013
Msg: 7
What is happening here?
Posted: 12/13/2013 11:47:50 AM
A good rule of thumb is to meet after 3-5 messages and a phone call or 2, within 1-2 weeks. That will help you learn who they really are, and discover intent. You are strangers before you meet. Right now, it sounds like the two of you are catfishing.
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 8
What is happening here?
Posted: 12/13/2013 2:00:42 PM
+1 for carolann. This whole thing stinks and I would venture your gut is telling you something isn't right or you wouldn't be in here asking this. Go with your gut. Either this guy is nuts, married, has a gf, or all of the above. Online dating is no better or worse than real life. In both you have to be careful and listen to that amazing thing we call intuition. My personal opinion...move on because I feel this is a dead end.
P.S. If you have two accounts delete one asap. It is against the rules and you will be found out.
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 9
What is happening here?
Posted: 12/13/2013 3:22:05 PM
Looks like you got sucked into someone else's drama/soap opera. Someone that you never really met. And since I don't have the whole spread sheet on your conversation with this guy, I can't tell you what really went on and caused his "disappearance". But, if I was a betting man, you didn't "bite" when he offered something, and because of that, he wandered off to test for another who could do that "biting".

Leave well enough alone, and never think about him again.

 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 10
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What is happening here?
Posted: 12/13/2013 5:56:52 PM

I've been talking with this guy.

I have a really hard time gauging when someone is interested in me

now he seems so distant.

by 'talking,' do you mean texting? or was there actually real time spoken communication, as in via phone? if there was no phone, was it because he asked for your number but you weren't comfortable giving it? or did he ever suggest meeting, but your unsureness made you too timid to agree, so you made an excuse or changed the subject? or maybe you believe meeting a guy relatively quickly somehow makes you a slut, so you drag out the preliminaries, which you also believe filters out the guys with 'bad' libido while retaining the guys with 'good' libido?

if any of this rings true, he is quite possibly directing his energy toward someone who looks like a more promising prospect.
Joined: 8/20/2011
Msg: 12
What is happening here?
Posted: 12/17/2013 6:52:26 PM
I can relate to him; after being on here for so long, sometimes you get "burnt out" and lose hope. I honestly think it's him being burnt out from PoF/dating and not anything you did. If he felt comfortable to share all those things with you, you should feel somewhat validated that there's nothing wrong with you :)
What is happening here?
Posted: 12/18/2013 3:11:19 AM
I wish people would stop giving their thread a mysterious title like a salesman or advertisement is trying to entice and persuade or manipulate you. This thing should be called something like “Not sure if he is still interested“. Not "What is happening here?". I don't know, what is happening? Oohh, I just must click on this and find out, cause there's such a lack of information.

Yes, I clicked on it, and I'm here, but that's because every other damned thread is titled that way. And every time, I want to say what I've said irritating it is. It would save wasted clicks. My index finger is getting a cramp, and I need to replace my left mouse button. Hehe.
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 14
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What is happening here?
Posted: 12/18/2013 10:44:27 AM
I think thread titles are suppose to be specific so they can be searched.
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 15
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What is happening here?
Posted: 12/23/2013 5:00:39 PM
Time to learn how to cast your line a bit better......
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