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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > hello, please critique my profile      Home login  
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 emsupial
Joined: 12/7/2013
Msg: 1
hello, please critique my profilePage 1 of 1    
Hello,

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=65937642

This is my profile. If anyone could help me improve it, it would be much appreciated. Nobody has emailed me directly, but some girls have used the "meet me" thing on me.. is this normal?

Thank you very much : )
 StarshipNarrator
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 2
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History
hello, please critique my profile
Posted: 12/14/2013 4:03:09 PM

I'm not sure what I expect from all of this, but if I happen to get a new friend or two, I'd be happy with that! I wish anyone who views this profile the best of luck in finding the person for you : )


No no no no no. You'd be happy settling for a friend or two? You said so yourself that you have difficulty meeting people in real life. So why would you come here and take a very weak, complacent position of just accepting whatever comes your way?

In your profile, you're supposed to convince or show the person reading that you're the shit. That doesn't mean being boastful or self-important. It means showing them you're worth it. You did the opposite which was wish them the best of luck in finding other dudes . Wrong, wrong, wrong.
 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 3
hello, please critique my profile
Posted: 12/14/2013 4:11:27 PM
Your photos give the impression you are pretty tightly wound. No tshirts? jeans? casual clothes? A variety is best, but if you truly always wear sweaters and shirts/ties, leave it. A big toothy smile also helps.

In your Interests field, why not add a favourite band/musician/movie? a favourite food or cuisine? You have selected 'mixed' ethnicity - you could also put your/your parents' country(s) of origin in your Interests field. At minimum it's going to be different from the herd, and at best maybe even a conversation starter for your viewer.

The first line makes it seem like you're embarrassed to be here. That will make your viewer feel uncomfortable. She's here, too! Absolutely nothing wrong with that these days.

Your intent says relationship, you're Looking For - Long Term, but you are open to friends. No. Pick one. At 29 and a full time student, why not go with the no-pressure "Dating" option? If you meet someone and there is no romantic chemistry, don't waste your/her time pushing for a friendship. She already has friends and expects you do, too. By leaving it wide open how it is now, it just sounds desperate ("I'll take anything"). Don't do that.

I don't particularly appreciate lists. They don't have personality like a well-crafted sentence does. Why not try it like this for a while and if no results, edit. You can tweak the profile as much and as often as you like.

Girls in general (%99.99999 infinity) will not message guys first. They are busy reading incoming messages. You will be initiating the conversations. Short, light humoured messages specific to one topic in her profile are best. Ask only one question so she has an easy way to respond IF she chooses.

Start with a smiling shoulders/head shot. When you've done some editing, post back to this same thread for more feedback.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 4
hello, please critique my profile
Posted: 12/14/2013 6:51:09 PM
Meet Me means nothing. You can message those women if you like, but it is by no means a guarantee of a response.

I agree that your photos look too polished. It's good that you can dress up, but is that what you wear everywhere? If you're athletic, show it off! A short sleeve shirt that shows off the muscles can do you wonders.

Add more interests. Interests can be searchable, so the more interests, the more likely it is for a woman to find your profile. You mention quite a few books, bands and movies you like in your About Me. You can also add those to your Interests section.

Remove the first line entirely. It makes a reader feel like they should be ashamed of online dating. And you don't want the first thing a woman feels when reading your profile is embarrassment.

You say you like mundane things. Which makes me think you're a mundane person. Which is not a positive trait.

The last paragraph needs to go entirely. It's filled with white noise. Every guy says he's a nice guy and he's shy at first. When re-writing, also avoid saying you're "easy going" or that you "enjoy going out sometimes but also really like staying in and cuddling on the couch while watching movies with that special someone." All of these things may be true, but it's in half of the profiles of men your age.

Plus, would you really be happy with just a friend? Think about it, 3 years from now, all this site has done for you is made you a new friend or 2. Are you going to be happy? No, you'll be back on the forums venting your frustrations with online dating.

If your school has a graduate program, this might be a good way to meet women in real life who are closer to your age. College is a great place to meet people, even if you're 10 years older than the undergrads.
 Hailey_Smurff
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 5
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History
hello, please critique my profile
Posted: 12/15/2013 3:40:47 AM
I usually don't comment on pics, but you need a better variety. 3 pics in 3 different sweaters. That is like type-casting yourself. I'll repeat.... variety !

Your first comment about not wanting anyone to see this profile = no confidence. Dating 101 says that is the absolute worst quality to posses.

Listing books, movies and bands you like has never earned anyone a date in the history of POF. More importantly it's BOOOOORING and makes the reader just want to go onto the next profile.

The paragraph that starts about being a student is FANTASTIC. It shows personality, and makes the reader feel like you are an actual person.

Never ever ever ever say you are just looking for friends.... this is a dating site and settle for nothing less. It's self-defeating.

My advice is complete get rid of your book, movies and bands listings.... it's mindless filler. Put some thought into who you are actually are and make it come across. Remember... things you like are NOT who you are.
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