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 AUTHOR
 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 2
Feedback AppreciatedPage 1 of 1    
You and I have LOTS in common. A few thoughts...

Your stats say "Divorced" but you mention your daughter's father has passed away. Twice married? at 42? That could be a red flag for some guys. I left out the widowed detail on my profile until it was time to chat with someone as that was often information that men couldn't deal with. (trying to 'compete' with a ghost and all that) The ones I felt could handle it I'd explain the whole story.

Your photos lean heavily toward the corporate image. This is a fairly blue-collar site and many men are intimidated by women who are independent and clever. DON'T DUMB IT DOWN!

You also mention you get to travel (a lot?) for work - many men would be concerned you may be unavailable for a relationship during the dating phase if you are travelling often. There may be another way to phrase it?

There is also way too much information about your daughter in your profile. All a guy wants to know is how many/how old/how often. Even her photo should be saved for someone who has earned the privilege. You have NO idea who is looking at that cute little face.

When you send introduction messages, are they 3-4 sentences at most? Specific to one topic in his profile and no 'fluff'? Include a question so he has an easy way to respond? I was a bit older, chunkier, WAY less blonder and had a teenage son to deal with when I was looking. I had about an 80-85% response rate when I contacted men.

There are some great details and description in your profile about your interests and without the extraneous fluff it would be a much neater read and more inviting for your viewer.

It took a year and a half and 13 "auditions" for me to find the right one, but it was worth it. Good luck!
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 3
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Posted: 12/19/2013 8:33:49 PM
Option 1 is very good. Wait to see what men say.
 StarshipNarrator
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 5
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Posted: 12/19/2013 8:41:52 PM
Organization-wise, eliminate the Option 1 and Option 2 thing and then take the list that is Option 2 and make paragraphs with it. That's a good idea just for the sake of readability and it doesn't change the subject matter of the profile.

Basically, I think you need to be a little less generic here:


I'm interested in meeting someone who shares my values and is happy with himself. I would like to find that right person to spend time with and hopefully carve out a future together. Someone to share dinner, a movie, a concert, or just a lazy Sunday without a to do list. I know I am responsible for my own happiness, but I also want to share it with someone.


Your values are what? This description is very par for the course when you look at it. It almost reads like something you'd describe about a friend. Try and give it a little more identity that pushes it into boyfriend/fiance/lover territory.

Oh and of course, it's much longer than most profiles so your mileage may vary with their attention spans. Attention spans are down into the goddamn picoseconds when it comes to these things.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 7
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:27:16 AM
Changes must have been made for the better. It reads well.

But...




I swear at times, even though I was raised to be a lady (AND IS ONE!)...it happens! But two recent studies on swearing have come out: one said that Ohio is the sweatiest state in the country and the other said that people who swear a lot have above average intelligence.


"(AND IS ONE!)" Sounds funny to me.
You is what you is.
You are what you are.

(And I AM one) To my ear, it flows better.


Damn it! I think I just spotted something else...
Is Ohio a sweaty state?
 32SweetTeeth
Joined: 5/20/2011
Msg: 8
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Posted: 12/20/2013 10:49:38 AM

- I sneaks bites of the cookie dough and will fit you to lick the batter from the mixer wisk

Should be sneak not sneaks and fight, not fit.

- I don't like to do laundry

Does anybody anywhere like to do laundry? It's a step up from cleaning the bathroom, but that is about it.
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 9
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Posted: 12/20/2013 11:20:56 AM
I enjoy doing laundry :/ So yes, there is someone
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 10
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Posted: 12/20/2013 12:16:04 PM
I somewhat like doing laundry. I just don't like carrying it up from the basement. Another reason I want a man!
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 11
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Posted: 12/20/2013 12:19:30 PM
I sneaks bites of the cookie dough and will fit you to lick the batter from the mixer wisk

fight - whisk
Watch your spelling.

- I don't like to do laundry
No? Not like you have to go to the local river and beat it off a rock. Just pull/push a few buttons and walk away.
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