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 BTM1985
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 1
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating Page 1 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
As I'm approaching my final days doing online dating since I can't seem to find a match(violin plays), a lot of people are always asking what they're doing wrong or why their date are acting the way they are. I was wondering what is everyone's biggest pet peeves when it comes to dating? Mine would be that the person doesn't talk much or ask many questions as well as not trying to have fun or expecting too much in so little time.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 6:14:09 PM
Oy. Another guy who thinks people at online dating sites are from a different planet than "real" people.

Giving up after two months, eh. This is probably close to the one hundredth time I've read this kind of post in these forums, just so you know how unique your complaint is not.

Suggest, for your education, that you read a whole bunch in the forums, before you do anything else.

They will tell you all sorts of things you are doing and thinking wrong, and MIGHT help you do better, though that's up to you. For sure, you will find out why I am writing so impatiently in response to this very repetitive post.
 BTM1985
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 3
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 6:49:35 PM
I've been on and off for the last 3 years...thanks for not assuming. If there's not any matches on here for me then why not try the outside of online dating? Oh right I forgot, it's the pof forums...can't talk about that on here, I might get eaten alive by strangers...ooo scary!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 6:59:20 PM
Your profile note in the forums says you signed up this last November. You must have left and come back again then. I did not assume, I read.
 BTM1985
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 5
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 7:14:30 PM
And yet you assumed anyways....like always a profile does not necessarily tell everything about a person....I can delete my profile however many times I want to and if I wanted to, I can lie about my profile too. Not saying everyone is terrible on here, I just think it would help if I grow some balls and talk to women in person instead of talking on a computer all the time....nothing wrong with that
 63T
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 6
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 7:22:19 PM
BTM1985;

I just think it would help if I grow some balls and talk to women in person instead of talking on a computer all the time....

Follow this path of reason and you will be well on your way to a whole new and exciting discovery.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 7
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 7:28:17 PM
It's no wonder why some folks have such a hard time finding a suitable date/partner
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 8
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 7:29:10 PM
In person is always better.

And yes, I think there IS a difference between "real life people" and people online. I did online dating for about 2 years, although at about nine months it was obvious how everything operated, what to expect, patterns that kept emerging, and....it just was not right for me. I do better "in person" than online.

Mostly because of the illusion, the smoke and mirrors effect of being behind a computer screen. I think people are absolutely encouraged to lie more, to deceive and misrepresent more, to be disingenuous, waste your time, be fake and flake. it encourages the worst situations with people..that false sense of intimacy before you've even met, then the bombs that drop when things aren't the fantasy people created. In real life, you don't have to step thru the artificial "skin" created on a computer, thru embellished profiles, lies and false fronts. In real life, you are there, making eye contact, sending and getting signals so subtle you are not even aware of it..pheromones, whatever you want to call it. It's a genuine experience.

Online is like sitting behind a sterile wall in test mode being asked to judge things both blindfolded and with earplugs in. Too much is missing up front this way.

So yeah..grow them balls, shut off your computer and get going. And also, when you are out and around, KEEP YOUR CELPHONE OFF! There is nothing more offputting than a guy screwing off on his celphone, eyes down, missing yet more opportunities.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 9
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Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 7:47:27 PM
^^^
I met 3 men. None lied and all were rather nice. Only had chemistry with my eventual boyfriend. The other two fellows would be good catches for the right woman.

If one builds up a fantasy...it is most likely the person doing it themselves and not the man in his profile. In fact, I'm surprised how poorly some fellows sell themselves to women. They would be wise to go to a female friend and have her help compose a few words, take photos, etc.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 10
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 7:54:34 PM
Here goes! #1. The "disappearing act", (Hey I like Criss Angel or David Copperfield, but hate the on-line version!)
2. Nothing is real until you meet in person. (Even then, I often doubt how "real" the person is.)
3. The true intent, or sincerity of a message. ( The exception to this, is the blatant sex question.)
4. LOL Did I mention the rude sex question in a first message?
5. I can easily be discarded, and replaced. ( The grass is ALWAYS greener, next door.)
6. 95% of those who contact me live at LEAST 45 minutes away
That pretty much sums it up. Most days I try to keep a positive attitude. I don't delete my profile, but often update or revamp it. Sometimes my profile seems more negative, (I know bad move), but most often I attempt to convey a positive outlook. In "real life" on a day to day basis I have very little to work with in a town of 1,800, I won't date a coworker, and so HERE I AM!
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 11
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 8:08:48 PM
Not a peeve exactly (it just is what it is) but a couple of drawbacks to online dating are the time and energy one expends before finding out if there’s any chemistry. And the relative anonymity – you know no-one in common with the other person.
 BTM1985
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 12
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 8:37:14 PM
I agree with Muted....I think that is what builds a lot of frustration with online dating. Online dating isn't for everyone and I just might be one of those guys. In general I'm just frustrated that I'm always meeting women who needs to work on their conversation skills and try to have fun instead of expecting a connection within 5-10 minutes. I managed to date someone on here for 2 months and she started out treated only to turn into a whack job in the end. I may be a bit bitter sometimes but I'm always looking for ways to get better and not stick with one formula.
 TOaks91360
Joined: 11/22/2013
Msg: 13
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 8:55:25 PM
I work with guys only. I fix things. I don't go bar hopping. I've considered MeetUP but my interests are jogging, movies and technology/computer programming. Most of these activities are solitary nature.

So...I put a lot of effort into online dating. I'm not a serial dater per se, but I'm very spontaneous and have no problem getting 'blind dates' or 'meet and greets'.

It's not expensive because we meet for a glass, or two, of vino. No biggie.

We enjoy hearing each other's stories and there's never an expectation of anything except mutual respect.

Sure, I've been on lousy or boring dates and that comes with the territory. Get a tough skin.

If you're tracking your 'return on investment'...well, you'll be disappointed.

I keep my expectations low, stay positive and most importantly, try to have fun.

What do you mean by 'match'? That's a nebulous term. Sex? Wife? Friend?

You can aim high and make those shots that you'll always miss if you don't make them, but if you aim too high, you'll always miss:)
 SuzieQForForums
Joined: 8/5/2013
Msg: 14
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 8:59:21 PM
People are people, whether or not you meet IRL or online.
I've had several dates from online. Most were one date only. A few lasted longer. Then I met a man IRL. It was lovely, things went smoothly. Then he disappeared on me. Poof. Just like people complain of in online dating.
My conclusion is there's no difference. People change their minds, don't know what they want, lie, mislead, become enchanted, then not, quickly, etc.

If ALL the women you date need to work on their conversation skills, the common denominator is YOU. Maybe YOU need to work on conversation, or maybe you're doing something else wrong. What makes you think meeting women IRL will improve conversations?
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 15
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 9:02:03 PM

Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating


Personally, the following bugs me:

1. Men who don't accept what their body type really is....
(how can a guy be average when he has 3 chins and a beer belly protruding from his Bud Light shirt?)
(how can a guy claim he is athletic when he has 2 chins and a soda belly protruding from his Cola shirt?)

2. Men who note interests: skydiving; hang gliding; zip lining; bungee jumping (examples) (yet when you talk to men, some admit they haven't even done that activity since the early 2000's)

3. Men who use old photos, especially the ones that note POF on them, as I understand those are really old....
(I went out with a guy in late 2011, and he admitted his photo was 3 years old. He is still on POF with the same 1 photo, now 5 years old)

4. Negative profiles

5. Profiles with very little information in them.... (ie - "will fill this out later" )

But, overall, I am still very positive about my overall experience with online dating but this is a thread about Biggest Pet Peeves, so there you have it. :)
 BTM1985
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 16
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 9:27:27 PM
Good thing I knew I was going to get eaten alive by a few people who don't know a damn thing about me or situation.....see ya and good luck to you all if you ever find someone on here. I like how people are saying there's no difference between online dating and real world dating.....if that's the case then why are there more people in relationships or married on the outside versus online?
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 17
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 9:40:05 PM

if that's the case then why are there more people in relationships or married on the outside versus online?


My understanding is 1 out of 6 relationships start via online dating....so I think online dating is here to stay and the percentages will gradually increase (in my opinion.)
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 18
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 9:42:48 PM
If one in six relationships start online that's an over 80% failure rate! :D
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 19
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 9:55:03 PM
^^^^Like I said before, in my opinion, the percentage of relationships starting from online dating will gradually increase over time. I am not looking at the failure rate. For now, I like this dating venue. It's not perfect, nothing is.... :P
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 20
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 10:23:00 PM
Men who post old photos and lie about their exercise habits. My "hot date" has suddenly gained 60 lbs. and lost all his hair. As if I wouldn't notice.

What do they expect? That I'll be so dazzled by their sparkling personality I will overlook the fact that they are a liar and look nothing like their photos? Idiots.
 BTM1985
Joined: 11/13/2013
Msg: 21
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 10:23:22 PM
The problem with that increase thought is more and more people are too busy with work or life situation or are mentally unstable or fake..:.whatever and the number of those I mentioned are increasing. Online dating was way easier a couple years than it is now so I doubt your argument would work out
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 22
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 10:23:59 PM
^^^But you see, I'm not arguing....you are. Why do you even care....you are in your final days on this site. Oh by the way, I am sure there are a lot of mentally unstable people dating out in the real world, but let me guess, you know that too. Good luck to you. Online dating isn't for everyone.
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 23
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 10:59:30 PM
The whole point of these sites are to go on dates but that whole purpose doesn't seem like it's there anymore. Women just use it as a popularity contest and men use it as a spam site in hopes they can get a one night stand. Both feed off each other and the people that actually want a relationship are left in the dust.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 24
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/5/2014 11:47:32 PM
Women just use it as a popularity contest and men use it as a spam site in hopes they can get a one night stand. Both feed off each other and the people that actually want a relationship are left in the dust.

This is a gross generalization and certainly not true. I have had several wonderful, long term relationships with men I met through online dating. I am currently dating a man I met through another dating website.
 EnigmaticDalton
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 25
Biggest Pet Peeves for online dating
Posted: 1/6/2014 2:10:00 AM
^
I think he was talking about our age group where it certainly does feel that way.

It also varies greatly by location.
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