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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?      Home login  
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 dwmitch
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 1
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Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Ever since I was a kid I've been able to guess a woman's age to within two years. The teachers use to hate me because of it, because a student would ask how old they were, some of the vain ones would say 25, and I'd always get a confession out of them by stating their actual age, give or take a couple of years, and reminding them that they're always teaching us that lying is wrong.

But I pretty much lost that ability when I was in my mid-20s. When I was 25 I was working a job that required me to go over a toll bridge. There was this girl working there, had to be at least 21 as far as I could tell, and then I realized she looked similar to a woman who works at the gas station where I got my lunch until a closer one opened. I asked her if she had a sister working in the toll booth, she said she did, and I asked if she was seeing anyone. She said "she won't be seeing you because she's 16," then ran me out of there with a pizza cutter.

My brother has had a property up for sale for the past few years and I've been keeping it mowed for him during the summer. One day he happened to be there patching the driveway. One of his neighbors got back from walking her dog, I figures she was at least 23 or 24, and I asked my brother what he knew of her. He said "she's 16."

The first time I met my step-niece she was 15 and if I didn't remember her uncle, who was my friend in high school, talking about her when she was born I would have guessed she was 10. She's 19 now and if I didn't know I'd guess she was 12.

Lately I've been playing a game on this site. When I see a profile pic of a woman without the age listed I'll guess her age, then I'll click on the profile to see how far off I was. There's one woman who posts here regularly. I guessed she was around 25. I visited her profile and found that I was off by 20 years. It wasn't a deceptive pic, either, because every one she has posted on her profile would lead me to believe that she's 25 when she's actually 45.

A woman I figured was 30 turned out to be 23. A woman I thought was my age turned out to be 20 years older than me (estimated age 33, real age 53). One I thought was 21 turned out to be 32, and recently there was a woman in the humor forum who, as far as I was concerned, couldn't be any older than 25 but she's actually 38.

It's become apparent that the cues I use to be able to pick up on aren't working anymore. When I asked my brother about his 16 year old neighbor he told me to look at the neck and you can get a general idea, but when I was testing it on some women I knew the age of, (my 18 year old niece and her 43 year old mother, my 25 year old niece and her 48 year old mother, my brother's 36 year old girlfriend and her 17 year old daughter) all of the necks looked the same to me. Well, naturally there were variations since they were different women, but nothing I could see that would indicate age.

So here's the question: What are some reasonably accurate age indicators? I honestly don't know what I was picking up on when I was younger, but obviously I can't pick up on it anymore. Normally it wouldn't be an issue, and I'm sure some of the women around here would be flattered that I think they look 10 - 20 years younger than they actually do, but I don't want to have to worry about a girl taking advantage of the fact that I can no longer get a reasonable estimate on age, tell me she's 24, then end up with a doctor picking buckshot out of my backside because her father didn't want me dating his 15 year old girl.
 dwmitch
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 2
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Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 3/24/2014 12:49:34 PM

I pegged you for 40. My estimations are obviously off. lol


You flatter me. When I was 18 everyone thought I was 30 and when I was 24 I worked with a guy who thought I was pushing 50. Now that I'm in viewing distance of 40 I was worried people would think I was pushing 60, so only being off by 7 years is a compliment to me.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 3
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 3/24/2014 1:58:28 PM
Once you get past a peer group level where determining anyone under age 18 SHOULD be a no-brainer, then age is totally irrelevant. Don't ask, don't tell - and it will come out in the wash eventually. You can have fun with it, obviously - Thirtysomethings LOVE it when you card them for cigarettes. But if you're still eyeing 16 year olds on a regular basis, I'd suggest maybe some counseling and get your eyes tested for glasses - STRONG glasses.
 dwmitch
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 4
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Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 3/24/2014 2:03:19 PM

How about the age they put on their profile???


That works on here, but unless Google Glass suddenly becomes popular and turns society into some kind of cyberpunk world, women don't come with profiles in real life.


OP do you really find yourself being seduced by that many teenie boppers? If you say yes, I'm not going to believe you simply because kids that age don't trust people over 30.


I don't find myself being seduced by women of any age, but that's beside the point. You have no idea what goes on in my neck of the woods. The year I started high school I came back from summer vacation and found that two of my classmates were pregnant. One from a guy two years ahead of us, the other from a guy well in his 30s. While it was certainly statutory rape, he didn't force himself on her. She threatened suicide to keep him out of prison and she was always working out some alibi to let her see him after school without her parents catching on.

And that's not an isolated case. At least 1/8 of the student body currently in elementary, junior high, and high school in this district (might seem like a gross exaggeration but this is an incredibly small school district that, at its peak, had 300 students spread out between K - 12) was present at their parents' graduation, either sitting on grandma's knee or in utero.

In some cases the father was roughly the same age, either meeting in school or at church, in some cases actual rape was involved, and in still other cases the guy was anywhere between 20 and 50. Coercion certainly wasn't involved in some of these cases, because there were 15 year old moms to be talking about how she couldn't wait to turn 16 so she could move in with him, or even coerce her parents into signing the consent form so they could get married.

And there's also my oldest buddy, the only one I went into school knowing because I had previously met him at his sister-in-law's/my cousin's baby shower. His dad was 50 years older than him. His mother, on the other hand, is only 15 - 17 (my mother told me but I can't remember) years older than him.

There aren't packs of horny girls running around seducing "old" men, but you can't tell me that there aren't teenage girls out there who won't fall for a guy old enough to be her father. A lot of the young girls around here now have a good enough head on their shoulders that they'd rightly send me packing if I approached them, which would only happen if I overestimated their age, but there are still girls around here who wouldn't think anything of a man's age and it only takes one of them to saddle a man with legal issues.


Which sort of begs the question of why you'd date anyone you think is lying to you other than for their incredibly youthful appearance!


Unless it's a 45 year old who looks 25 a youthful appearance is actually a turn off for me. If I approach a 16 year old it's not because I'm hoping she's actually a really young looking 20-something. It's because to me she looks at least mid to late 20s. In fact, there are probably women close to my age I didn't give a second glance to because I thought they were too young and underage girls I probably gave too many glances to because they looked significantly older than what they actually are.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 5
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 3/24/2014 2:59:45 PM
Well, people lie.. so even if you still 'had it' as far as being able to estimate a woman's age, it wouldn't protect you from that. There are no super powers that make one above all the deception that goes on through this medium and dating in general. So long as the girl is legal, lol.. don't sweat it :)
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 6
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 3/24/2014 3:05:51 PM
If you want to know how old someone is, why don't you just ask them?
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 7
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 3/24/2014 4:49:54 PM
Asian women in Asia that are under 25 years of age mostly look like children. They don't look mature till they get a little older.

Most American white women that are 18 – 25 mostly look older to me.

Maybe 40% of the men on the forums mostly look older than the age on their profiles. But those men tend to leave the forum after a short time.

I ask some older men in the health club how old they are, some that would pass for a few of the 55 year old men on the POF forum are 80 or older. Especially when I compare to them to the men in the health club.

Women on the forum usually look like the age on their profile, I would guess 80% look their age. Maybe 5% of women over 55 that post could pass for 45.

Those without pictures often post in a style that makes them appear older than they are. Like a woman that is 28 saying men her age can't keep up with her. That is plain odd to me.

The older that people are, the more their looks vary.

If I am dating someone, sooner or later I will always find out what I want to know, so whatever people say I take it in stride. There are many indicators, I seriously doubt in the USA I would ever had to worry about underage women.

And I doubt you will have to worry about underage women getting you into trouble.
 dwmitch
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 8
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Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 3/24/2014 4:54:24 PM

If you want to know how old someone is, why don't you just ask them?


Is there any tactful way to do that? The way I was raised up asking a woman's age is only slightly more acceptable than asking her bra size. When an obviously under-age girl is standing outside of a gas station trying out the "I left my ID at my house over an hour away" excuse I have no issue with frustrating her by saying "I'll buy you some beer if you get your ID, show it to me, and you're over 21" but I don't know of any tactful way to inquire about a woman's age.


LOL my head is spinning.


Took me a couple of weeks to wrap my head around, myself. When my buddy stopped by my parents' house to check out my power steering system I took him in to meet my dad, since I was tired of having to explain who he was all the time even though he knows his half-brother (who's been married to my cousin since before I was born).

When he left my mom explained to me that his mom was between 15 and 17 when she had him but his dad was 50. That, combined with what I saw in high school, is why I can't count on underage girls to be up front with me or reject me based on my age.
 ktxginger
Joined: 11/11/2013
Msg: 9
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 3/24/2014 5:55:55 PM
With all the products out there these days designed to make women look younger or to disguise their age, it is very difficult to estimate age. Wrinkles and gray hair are covered up on most people by hair dye and make-up and then you have the botox, surgical procedures, and more that add into the mix.

I spoke to a lady today at the gym and she said she moved slow these days, but that since she was 70 she thought she was doing good. I was shocked and told her that she looked in her early 50's. You just never know.

If you want to know, ask. Yes, they might lie, but at least it is a start. It's as simple as 'How old are you?' or 'I was wondering your age.' I'd answer if someone asked - I don't have a problem telling someone my age.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 10
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 3/31/2014 10:45:23 AM
The number 1 tell tale sign, are elbows. The older we get, the more wrinkled and deep the outside of our elbows get.

Cooldog, look at the the picture of that woman when you can see her elbow, you can see it's wrinkled and unflattering.
 dwmitch
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 11
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Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 3/31/2014 10:11:41 PM

^^^They likely lied about their age, ha. I've seen so any profiles of guys claiming to be in their 30's that I would have thought were 40-45 so it can be really hard to tell.
Either they look rough for their age or they're lying :0


Some of us just look older. When I was 18 one of the managers at McDonald's thought I was 30. When I was 24 a guy I worked with thought I was in my late 40s. One woman commented here that I looked 40, but I have several acquaintances who were able to guess my age to within a year and back in December one woman even guessed I was 25.

I can assure you that, unless I spent my first seven years in a coma that nobody told me about (which would explain why I was always the tallest kid in my class) I haven't shaved so much as a month off of my age.
 dwmitch
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 12
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Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 4/1/2014 2:20:08 PM

A better question, along the same lines though, would be are we talking chronological age or mental age. I've noticed a BIG difference in some people.


Well, other than when it comes to developmental disabilities (i.e. if they're disabled to the point of requiring a guardian as an adult they tend to have the same legal rights as minors) the law tends to go by chronological age. It doesn't matter if a 16 year old looks like a 25 year old and is as mature as a 30 year old, it's still illegal.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 13
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 4/1/2014 2:24:47 PM
OP; Asking a woman's age can indeed be a loaded question, but you'll never know until you ask. People have 'button' issues that bug them all the time, and age is just one particular type.

I have a friend who's the lead singer in a band who's in her mid-40s but still could easily pass as a teenage beauty pageant contestant like she did years ago. I also have a couple friends who are actresses in regional theater productions as well. They are VERY touchy about being asked their age -- but that's because in the trades they work in, women are judged frequently and ruthlessly by their age, and are restricted from several opportunities simply because of a number. They see it - not as a point of curiosity, but as a point of manipulation. My guess is there are others in similar professions that want to keep the topic on the taboo list - at least until they can trust you.

Opening conversations with people SHOULD be kept upbeat and positive, but sometimes it's almost better to ask up front what topics make a person uncomfortable so you don't stumble into a conversational bear trap on the first or second meet. If you read into a person's profile, sometimes it's already there in black-and-white. People SHOULD indeed be open enough to tell you what they don't want to discuss -- and the ones that don't are probably not mature enough to know what really bugs them.
 dwmitch
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 14
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Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 4/2/2014 3:43:43 PM
I was talking to my mom last night, who's doing the typical "when are you going to settle down and give me grandkids" thing that has become the stereotype, and I said "with all the products they have to make women look younger these days there's a good chance I'll inadvertently end up with a woman your age."

She said "I hate to break it to you, but when you get older everyone starts looking younger than they are." I guess it's just a part of aging.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 15
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Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 4/3/2014 6:59:32 AM

Once you get past a peer group level where determining anyone under age 18 SHOULD be a no-brainer, then age is totally irrelevant.


PoF helps with this by limiting contact with users past a 14 year difference. Plus being a man who still wants children I do have to seek out 'younger' women. Problem is, I keep getting older and older and with age I get worse and worse looking so its a slippery uphill trek in bare feet on snow covered ground and jagged sharp ice under it. But that is life. It never guarantees us happiness. And is never fair.

As stated above, I just try to avoid anyone who has the appearance of under 18 (even though here in my state age of consent is 17). With the hormones in all of our foods and GMOs being relatively new, we don't know the full gravity of any potential biological consequences. But girls do tend to appear older now at younger and younger ages than I remember. Perhaps it was just my perception then..... don't know. So with that being said it is a very scary thought to find someone to appear attractive and think ... "this girl might not even be old enough yet". >.<
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 16
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 4/4/2014 11:24:39 PM
It's really hard to tell anymore. I work as a pediatric nurse and see adolescents and some of the girls mainly look much older than their actual age. I could totally see them getting a man into trouble because they could pass as 10 years older.

I was surprised today when the barista at my favorite coffee place revealed that she was 23. I always thought she was in her 30s - that's tanning for you, and being out of shape. I have also noticed that some men my age look much older. Again, it's the sun damage. I guess I lucked out that I never tanned as a teen and it's paying off now. I got teased mercilessly at school for being white as a ghost, but I'm sure the tanned beauties from back then aren't so hot anymore today.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 17
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 4/5/2014 1:29:29 PM
I do not worry about estimating age . If I were to get involved with a woman that isn't honest about her age my question would be , then what else isn't she honest about . Dishonesty about anything is a real deal breaker for me . I am one of the few people who don't look at things as being different shades of gray , something is either right or wrong .
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 18
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 4/5/2014 2:48:12 PM
yeah it's a getting older thing. I was talking to a girl the other month and asked if she was in her final year of high school. In college she said. granted, she could have been a freshman.
People usually have my age correct, the only ones who underestimate it are actually teenagers...that I know in person. Not by picture, I couldn't fool anyone.
Some troll messaged me yesterday saying he thinks I'm lying, "you look 50, you're all a bunch of liars"... quite a bitter feeling. I said "you got me, 63 actually, good eye".
The police officers I'm standing with, now they all looked like wee young'ins. I thought really, and they trusted you with a gun? :)
 JoggerGirl02
Joined: 2/24/2014
Msg: 19
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 4/27/2014 7:42:21 PM

The number 1 tell tale sign, are elbows.

It's true...closely followed by knees sadly...gotta hate baggy knees.

I have never been able to guess peoples ages. In my moments of total boredom on here, when I actually press the search button, I sometimes click on a photo I like and feel quite the dirty old cougar when someone in their 20s pops up.

That's when I shut down my laptop and pick up my knitting instead.....
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 20
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 4/29/2014 8:45:32 PM
I got a message today from a 53 year old guy, and he looks great, would have guessed him for late 30s/early 40s. Hope those are current pics of him lol, but I'm actually considering going on a date with him. There is always an exception to every rule.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 21
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Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 5/2/2014 9:10:50 PM
It's easy...Just sneak a look at their drivers license ;)
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 22
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Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 5/10/2014 7:32:56 PM

Is there any tactful way to do that? The way I was raised up asking a woman's age is only slightly more acceptable than asking her bra size.

Don't ask just take a look at it when it's lying on the floor.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 23
Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 5/10/2014 9:20:34 PM
aitche, you don't look your age at all. You could pass for twenty years younger, really. I'm jealous, lol.

I have a profile on match, and I've scoured the profiles of men my age and older, just to see their age preferences. It always strikes me that the vast majority of these guys have no problem whatsoever looking for women 20 years younger, but often no more than their own age, if that. And these are guys in their 40s/50s/60s - heck even the 50-60 year olds who don't want kids anymore still want 20-45. Guess next year it will be all over for me, I'll be over the hill even for a bald, pot-bellied old guys, lol.
 oldie_but_hottie
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 24
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Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 5/16/2014 12:09:58 PM
I don't give too much credence to self-reported age and pictures on this site. With the age restrictions on here I find that many people make themselves older or younger to be closer in age to people they may find attractive, and if you're using a younger age you can easily match that with some old pictures. Personal meetings are the ONLY way to find out the truth!
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 25
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Does anyone else have trouble estimating age these days?
Posted: 5/16/2014 5:53:06 PM

heck even the 50-60 year olds who don't want kids anymore still want 20-45. Guess next year it will be all over for me, I'll be over the hill even for a bald, pot-bellied old guys, lol.


No not really over you'll just have to accept guys in the 65-70 range is all.
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