Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Two sides to every story      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Two sides to every storyPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
That was a very difficult read. I THINK that it all boils down to this:


Now the point of this post is that there is still one woman will not talk to me, that I see from time to time in the pub. Now the point is she heard his side of the story but not mine. I don’t want or need to be friends with out I just want her to hear my side of the story. I don’t think she even knows he was on police bail. Am I wrong in wanting her to talk to me about this.



My answer is, that though there's nothing wrong about you WANTING her to talk to you and hear your version of everything, that you have no RIGHT to have her do so.

With a mess that weird and unpleasant, there are going to be things that you can't have and things that you can't expect and things that wont be resolved.

I also suggest, that as you are obviously very upset about all those very unpleasant goings on, that you might be reading intentions into whatever happens. That she hit you with the drumstick might, or might not have any significance at all.

Work on getting yourself into a state of balance, and let others do them same for themselves.
 HonkyTonk_Woman
Joined: 9/16/2013
Msg: 3
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/5/2014 8:21:25 AM
Wow...and they talk about women being drama queens...
If I don't care for somebody because they have bad character flaws....I drop them as a friend and don't care what they have to say behind my back to anyone.
If he is telling "his" side of the story and they believe his theory over not hearing yours....again...I wouldn't want them as a friend either.
Ignore people that don't treat you with respect or care to involve themselves in your business.
Be careful....not to be spreading rumours about him that have no validity either....
 KidInTheHall
Joined: 2/23/2014
Msg: 4
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/5/2014 8:22:52 AM
That woman is just as crazy as your friend, be thankful he helped you dodge that bullet. Move on.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/5/2014 8:27:39 AM
That is quite an unfortunate set of incidents that should not be escalating like that. But some people just cannot coexist within the same building. What you likely need to do since you seem to want her to hear your side is have someone else who knows her and is on speaking terms to tell it. Doesn't necessarily have to be obvious though. Just pass by or something and let the ball start rolling if she visibly scowls or says something for that shared friend/confidant to try and settle things. The fact that she seemingly used an object (drumstick) to physically assault you (you have a witness right?), gave no apology, or any other indication it wasn't intentional shows she is quite immature as is your ex friend. Perhaps those two should hook up. Anyway, I would say f#$% it and move on but you don't feel comfortable doing that. So again try to get your story heard in some way, and maybe the hardness of her heart will begin to soften as she opens up that there is another side to the story in the first place.
 April1963
Joined: 6/7/2013
Msg: 6
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/5/2014 9:51:39 AM
OP,
Read and listen to you yourself how you speak about your friend.


About 2 years ago I ended a 10 year friendship with a mate of mine. . Now 4 years ago he split up with his girlfriend. From what he told me after they split up. He was put on police bail for 4 accounts of sexualassault on other women .


Hmmm....OK!


As we started spending more time together we started going out of town to drink. He would not drink where he lived. It seemed the people that I thought was his friends didn’t like him. I started dating this woman. He was having 1 night stands and not wanting a relationship. He also had a FWB for a little while.


Why did you have to mention all this about your ex friend?........Only to make your story credible?


While we both were making new friends, he was starting to get very nasty towards me. I tried to reason with him about his behaviour and he would just threaten me with violence. Tried to talk to him about this on face book but all he did was block me.


Why?....did he say the reason of his behavior ?...


the woman I was dating.She used to talk to my mate all the time when I was working. My so called mate was unemployed. I had no ideal what he was telling her about me. I found out a month or so later after we split up from her that my mate had been trying to split us up.


She did wrong !


Now since he had block me and I was doing all the driving anyway I started going out on my own. He found out I been going out by myself and sent more threats this time by text. I told that I went on a date with a woman friend from a Judo club I belong to. His reply was he could not care less and I could not have female friends.


Perhaps he thinks that you are going to that place only to talk (bad) about him?


Now the man that runs the Judo club is a retired policeman and I had been telling him about the problems I had with my friend and was able to show him the text massages that I was receiving from him . He told me to go straight to the police. I didn’t at first but in the end I did.


See what I mean?


Now my ex friend told loads of friends that I went to the police about him.. Most of them are still talking to me


Karma?


Now the point of this post is that there is still one woman will not talk to me, that I see from time to time in the pub. Now the point is she heard his side of the story but not mine. I don’t want or need to be friends with out I just want her to hear my side of the story. I don’t think she even knows he was on police bail.


The way of reasoning with this problem is not normal for a 42-year-old man. YOU!


Am I wrong in wanting her to talk to me about this. She thinks I’m the nasty one,but she caused me a little trouble the last time I was in the pub. I was talking to one of my friends in the pub when she walked between us. There was only a tiny gap between us and plenty of room behind me to walk past. She had a drum stick in one hand and managed to poke me in the face just missing my eye. The drum stick she borrowed from the band that had just finished.


Yes, you are wrong.
She Seems right and you need to Grow up and stop talking private things of your friend that makes him look bad ... this is a behavior of teenagers.


Managed to speak to his ex girlfriend last year. Let just say I’m on her side. I can’t go into more details


STOP...!Sounds like those friends that stab another in the back when they are angry
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/5/2014 10:47:44 AM
Your posting history shows several cases of woe-is-me messes, either you need to stop the creative writing or you need to find yourself a whole new set of places to go and people to be involved with. If someone doesn't want to talk to you or hear your side, so what, leave them alone, not everyone has to see you as innocent. As for two sides to every story, no, there are three sides, one of them being the truth and we rarely ever hear that side since most people are out to prove their own agenda . it would be rare for a person to be so innocent but yet keep getting into these scenarios.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 9
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/5/2014 11:39:48 AM
typing all that out must have felt like a good bowel movement...and for the same reason.

only one part of that had anything to do with you--someone tried to poke your eye out. Be aware of her in the future, don't let her get close lest she get a luckier shot in.

you don't need to run around the yard on all fours like a dog in order to attract fleas to you. You merely have to spend a little time around a dog to pick up fleas. As the others have told you--including your copper friend--stop hanging out with the losers, and you'll lose the loser behavior that is in your life.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 11
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/5/2014 1:41:02 PM
To Opp : The only way I would even consider siding with an accuser when there is no evidence what so ever to back up their claim , would be if they can pass a polygraph test with flying colors . To much false accusations going around these days and the disgusting thing is the false accuser never seems to get any punishment . They should be forced to take polygraph tests if no evidence is found .
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/5/2014 1:42:01 PM
There is no need for you to explain yourself to anyone. A police officer advised you and you rightly followed his advice, it is no one's business but yours. If some drunken slag at the pub gives you a hard time, ignore her. You owe no one an explanation for protecting your interests. If she lays hands on you again complain to the management or leave. Your ex friend is probably guilty as sin, so get over it and move on.
 Onceblumoon
Joined: 3/8/2014
Msg: 13
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/6/2014 9:18:17 AM
typing all that out must have felt like a good bowel movement...and for the same reason.


Quote of the day there! LOL Yes, catharsis is one major point of the forums.

OP, I'm with oldhag -- what do you care what this woman thinks of you? If she was a truly thoughtful person, she might wonder why your opinion of the other friend/guy is negative, and might ask. In the absence of any curiosity on her part, you have no dog in that hunt.

I think you may have some issues to reflect upon, given how you talk about your friends. Your friend threatened you, bullied you, is likely guilty of assaults, and yet you were concerned he wasn't doing enough of the driving??? Why are you even friends with someone like that? Is it a martyr complex on your part? You make all the decisions in your life -- don't let someone railroad you, and remove yourself from friendships which have a negative affect on your life, health, happiness. Really, this is basic maturity.

Meant to mention... PARAGRAPHS are your friend. Re-reading your post I realized I missed the obvious: 2 yrs ago you ended your friendship with this guy. Why are you even still thinking about him 2 yrs later? The woman you referenced is superfluous. If she assaults you, react in a rational manner. Otherwise, ignore.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 14
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/7/2014 6:47:35 AM

Am I wrong in wanting her to talk to me about this. She thinks I’m the nasty one,but she caused me a little trouble the last time I was in the pub. I was talking to one of my friends in the pub when she walked between us. There was only a tiny gap between us and plenty of room behind me to walk past. She had a drum stick in one hand


Sounds to me like she has the hots for you. But my advice is simple. Don't explain d i ck to her. YOu do not owe anyone for your actions. Your loyal friends will be with you. Your not loyal friends will drown on the gossip. Do not explain, or validate yourself to this woman, or any guy or woman. Stick to your guns.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 15
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/7/2014 11:02:38 AM
Wait a second, it's a man that typed this? Sounds like something only women would concerned about, we get hung up on sh*t like that, but a man?

You are concerned that ONE woman won't talk to you? Did you know that there are billions of people in the world? Do you live in small town USA?

If she doesn't want to talk to you and she had made her own judgements about the whole thing, let her. All you can do is talk to other people and through the grape vine, she may open up and talk to you, or not. Some people make hard fast judgements and decide to dismiss someone and everything that has to do with them, in an instant, nothing you can do about it.

Let's take Michael Jackson as an example. While I loved most of his music, I couldn't help but feel I'd never want to meet him in person. With all these rumors going around about having allegedly taken advantage of children, I wouldn't want to even take a picture with him or say hello in person. I tend to think, when too much of the same has been rumored, there must be some truth to it.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 16
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/7/2014 11:29:48 AM
JustSimon1971- You got him out of your life, what some stupid, drunk chick does to you in a bar is hardly anything worth worrying over.
One thing I'd like to point out, just what is your definition of a friend?
My bar hopping days are over, but were the people I ONLY saw on nights out at bars my friends? Not really.
It would be a good thing for everyone if we all do an honest assessment of who our friends REALLY are.
Will they be there for you, no matter what?
Do they accept you, as is?
Do you do things as friends on a regular basis?
If you can answer yes, then they are your friend, anyone else is just an acquaintance.
I don't worry about what acquaintances think, I worry about TRUE friends.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/8/2014 11:32:42 AM
Next time she confronts you hand her a slip of paper with his name and number on it. Tell her "call him he'll be happy to fight a girl"
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/9/2014 12:57:11 AM
WOW

I can’t go into more details

^^^^^^^^^^^^
That's OK, I had a slight aneurism trying to glean any sense from what you did say.



I don't smoke and very rarely drink

^^^^^^^^^^^^
But hang out in pubs and make "friends" with bar flies "wielding drum sticks" and sexual predators.

You talk about this guy like you were teen lovers and it's creepy as hell.
(Facebook/texting/threats/police) You have it all in there and more

Find another social venue to make "friends".


Work on getting yourself into a state of balance, and let others do them same for themselves

^^^^^^^
I'll put it in "pub speak" for ya.
Get your sheet together dude, you are a 43 year old male, not an 11 year old girl.
 DaisyDotes
Joined: 2/6/2014
Msg: 21
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/9/2014 3:09:53 PM
Grow up. This sounds like the rantings of a school boy in the playground. There is no reason. You want to befriend a girl who hit you with a drumstick. Yes, it is all fun and games til some one pokes an eye out.
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/9/2014 5:17:27 PM

girl hit you with a drumstick

it is all fun and games til some one pokes an eye out

Hahahaha!!
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Two sides to every story
Posted: 4/11/2014 4:21:04 AM

Telling me not to go to pubs is wrong.

Pick another one then.
You already have baggage /past drama with the folks hanging out at this one.


I have never spread any rumors about my so called friend

You told someone ( Facebook/in person/whatever) when you called the police on him or it wouldn't be so well known.
The cops didn't tell.

Op, these women/people also consider that" you ARE the company you keep".
Birds of a feather etc
You were very close, so what are they to think about YOU?

I dont hang out with drug addicts/dealers,/child abusers/* enter slimy person here*.
If I did, then it would be safe to assume I condone what they do or may do it myself.
He sounds like a horrible person.

You sound like a infantile child that is desperate to have anyone for a "friend" to me.
It's sad.
I'm sure many get this vibe too and take advantage of you.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Two sides to every story