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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Professional writer, but can a profile be too long to read      Home login  
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 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 3
Professional writer, but can a profile be too long to readPage 1 of 1    
Good morning
As a professional writer you need to correct the spelling mistakes. STITCH is but one example.
Not sure what you were going for re the profile.
The photos are good but you need more variety instead of just head shots.
 sandytm
Joined: 9/25/2013
Msg: 5
Professional writer, but can a profile be too long to read
Posted: 5/1/2014 6:19:44 AM
1) Your username is offputting.
2) Your pics are that of an unhappy CK model.
3) I have read volume long profiles that had me riveted with laughter. So, the length of the writing is not an issue unless it is painfully boring.
4) I don't care for the lack of capitalization, even if it is intentional.


Interested in your thoughts, and if my profile has been conjured in the total wrong way for actually trying to meet a partner in crime.
What?!

Your intimate poetic view of beauty may be attracting women w/a skewed sense of love. Instead of seeing it as an expression of your art, that your relationship will be a fairytale.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 6
Professional writer, but can a profile be too long to read
Posted: 5/1/2014 7:23:10 AM
This profile is lopsided, it's all potatoes but no meat.
You have 8 photos, but not one shows your full body, and your main pic is a poor choice as well.
Unpleasant connotation in username.
Your text has good elements but kind of stalls out.
3 very generic interests.
You have children but provide no details.
Bottom line: If you want women to take you seriously on POF you have to reveal much more than you have done here.
p.s. - To answer your question, a profile is too long when it bores the reader, some profiles are too long at 3 lines.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 7
Professional writer, but can a profile be too long to read
Posted: 5/1/2014 8:24:19 AM
"Seeing as though - immoral or not - a lot of the inital contact on here is heavily based on a small picture "
Morality is not the issue, it's people's behavior - we have trained ourselves to shut off anything that bores us, and we do it fast. When you're in your car, how long to you let a song play on the radio if you don't like it, and how fast to you click your TV remote for the same reason?
The main photo is a critical element of your dating profile, probably the most important factor in getting new attention. Considering how many people use small-screened devices to surf the web, that photo has to capture their attention in the size of a postage stamp, that's what I see on my own cellphone. If it looks good at that size, it will draw + attention.
I always assume that my target audience is women at work , sitting at their cubicles, bored out of their minds, so they take a little Internet break and to escape the tedium, they look at MEN !! (What a surprise) Their eyes are already glazed over from reading endless corporate dribble, so your have to catch their imagination in a split second. If you give them some romance, humor, charm, you have a good shot at hitting them at a weak point and instilling the seeds of good emotions and curiosity, and that is where this process really starts moving ahead.
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 8
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History
Professional writer, but can a profile be too long to read
Posted: 5/1/2014 10:05:25 AM
A writer’s profile is his meteor, at first rough around the edges, heading towards mother earth from beyond a glimmer. First, it makes contact on a subtle cue; or perhaps a chance meeting in the dark, or even annoyingly transiting her Sun. Suddenly, it brightly spins straight as Ero’s arrow, shedding its bumpy nuances through unknown territory, skillfully dodging fields of jade. In a final instant, it hones its way to lightly settle into her heart.

My opinion; replace your entire description with your small stanza:

many people thought that i would find this or that girl pretty, because, in their eyes, she reminds them of
a person I once found cute, but they were wrong.
features do not create beauty, but beauty creates the features, and it cannot be easily found.


And then report if there is any difference at all; Ask yourself if you really have something to say, or if you only need someone to hear. The length of your line and the form of your lure will vary as much as snowflakes on a Tuesday morning flurry at 9.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 9
Professional writer, but can a profile be too long to read
Posted: 5/1/2014 10:51:31 AM

Professional writer....


Did your "Shift" button fall off?
No Capitalization, none,( in your profile.)

And spelling errors abound.



mixed in with perfect converstaion.

mixed in with perfect conversation.


Correct that sentence!
 RedrockJen
Joined: 3/27/2014
Msg: 10
Professional writer, but can a profile be too long to read
Posted: 5/1/2014 10:59:53 AM
Pluto said: "Ask yourself if you really have something to say, or if you only need someone to hear."

I agree with those sentiments. If it makes no sense and rambles on like bad poetry, it is probably the latter.

Better to be understood than heard on POF, haha. Being understood means there is a dialogue--a connection. This profile reads like a monologue--no connection can be made. I felt ugly after reading it. Most women will not relate to it. Won't see that they are the 'beauty' you are looking for. Too abstract. They need something concrete to grasp.

I would do as Pluto suggests. Edit it down to this (with punctuation and capitalization corrections): Many people thought that I would find this or that girl pretty, because in their eyes, she reminds them of a person I once found cute. But they were wrong. Features do not create beauty; but beauty creates the features; and it cannot be easily found.

If you are going to market yourself as a writer, you better show the reader you can write. Not just by being creative and engaging but by spelling correctly and having good grammar.

I would never have guessed you were a professional writer after reading your profile. Be creative. Be technically sound. Or better yet, be both. Yours lacks both these elements.

Some of the pics are nice. But too many of the same. A few metrosexual model shots are hot. Now let's see some smiling playful ones as well. No one wants a 24/7 brooder.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 11
Professional writer, but can a profile be too long to read
Posted: 5/3/2014 7:27:47 AM
"You're a professional writer,"
Yeah, I wonder about that when I see it too. Why would a professional writer go online to a bunch of total strangers and request help in writing?
I guess if you write the "directions for use" on box of salt that does make you a professional writer, but sometimes I have to wonder.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 12
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History
Professional writer, but can a profile be too long to read
Posted: 5/6/2014 10:32:36 AM
Writing 101:

I not i


If you are getting messages great, it's working for you.

The whole thing screams pretentious to me, but I'm not a woman.
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