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 BigDan1085
Joined: 1/30/2010
Msg: 1
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Speed DatingPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I had to ask people on here especially the ones that have tried speed dating. Is it a good way to go in general? Do you think it would be a good route to go for someone my age? I have considered it but have never tried it. I was wondering if I could get some feedback from people on here about that and if it would be a good idea for me to give it a try. The more responses the better. Thanks!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 2
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/4/2014 5:00:25 PM
Speed dating.

The opportunity to get rejected by more women in one night than an entire month otherwise.


Is it a good way to go in general? Do you think it would be a good route to go for someone my age?


I have not tried it yet myself, but, actually, it's probably worth a try for any age. At this point in the dating world, anything legal is worth a try. As long as your ego is prepared for all the possible rejections, you're good to go, and see what happens. Best of luck if you do try it.
 PDAapproved
Joined: 5/19/2014
Msg: 3
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/4/2014 5:03:50 PM
At your age (which is 28 for those who don't want to look it up), you really have nothing to lose by trying it except a little time. If it interests you at all, you might as well give it a shot. I would imagine that you would find it to be a little better than POF b/c at least all of these girls talk with you - just for a really short amount of time. If you are the type that can pull off a good first impression and you aren't socially awkward when you meet someone the first time, try it and see what you think.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 4
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/4/2014 6:09:16 PM
It can't hurt - I think it's about 5 to 8 minutes which is about as long as it takes for you both to know if it's a yes or no for interest in the person you're talking to - so that's a plus. Why not?
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 5
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/4/2014 6:25:46 PM
I tried it once.

Was not suitable for me. Perhaps I was not as glamorous as the other ladies. They were stunning.
Looking like models.

I ticked a few people but either no one ticked me or there were no matches.

Will say that I did say hi to everyone there even before the official speed dating as I am a very outgoing person.
So much so that many people said they thought I was one of the organisers.

Certainly can't hurt to give it a try.

Some hints:
Take extra care with your personal presentation. Look the best you can.
Have great posture and smile. Look straight into the ladies eyes.
As a man you will be the one moving so really take care with how you move and be civil to all the ladies even the ones where you have no attraction.
Say thank you for meeting and then move on to the next lady with a big smile.
If you feel comfortable offer your hand and shake the ladies hand when saying hello and farewell.

Good luck.

p.s.
Just had a peek at your profile.
Your height will be a big advantage with speed dating.
Please ensure you stand tall.

Wear a shirt with a collar, shave and smile.
Leave the hat at home.
You are handsome, tall and slender so will look spectacular in a sports jacket / leather or wool and open neck skirt of heavy cotton.
Polished shoes. Boots are fine if you feel more comfortable but polished. No runners.
Most of your photos you are unshaven and your mouth is turned down.
Your mouth should turn up - ie. a smile.

pps.
On the note of your photos I just noticed that they are dated 2008 and 2009.
Far, far too far out of date for on here.

I am sure you are much more handsome now.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 3/22/2014
Msg: 6
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/4/2014 8:28:25 PM
OP: I tried speed dating once late 2011. If memory serves me correctly, I had about 6 dates at about 7 minutes each. Seven minutes is definitely not a lot of time to ask any detailed questions. I think I had a little more fun during the last 7 minutes as my margarita had kicked in. To me, if anything is based on physical attraction, it's speed dating. How could it not? At least you get to see the person in front of you, hear the way he/she talks, smells, etc...and during this time you ask/answer some questions. I would not do it again. With that said, one of my co-workers met her husband thru speed dating, so it can work.....
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 7
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/5/2014 7:08:34 AM
Seems like too much pressure for me. Maybe a glass of wine for both participants. By the time I reach the last lady, we'll both get up and leave together:)

I think preparation is key. You know, your script or speech ready up front. Maybe have a flyer or business card you can present that lists your total assets, prescriptions, fico score and amount of attention needed.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 8
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/5/2014 7:45:33 AM
Speed dating is too much like a job interview. You're competing with a bunch of other candidates, and you each have five minutes in the interview to explain why you are a better candidate for the job than all of the other shmucks there. It's too business like, with everybody putting on their best facade with an imaginary "Pick me, Pick me" sign.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 9
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/5/2014 8:09:20 AM
I don't know, which would be better? Cutting off your own hand with a power saw or a hand saw?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 10
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/5/2014 8:57:25 AM
around here they cost $30. I just can't see spending that to have too little time with a person. might as well pay cover for a club and spend as much time as I want.

BUT some can get hot for someone in 7 minutes. if you've got swagger and treat it like its fun, you likely have a chance. treat like its a big deal, like its your last chance, and you'll likely come off too heavy.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 11
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/5/2014 8:58:55 AM
I think I'd do it for giggles, maybe go with friends or even take a date to mix things up...I'm sure no one there would appreciate my utter lack of seriousness about it.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 4/21/2014
Msg: 12
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/5/2014 11:49:12 AM
Speed dating is ridiculous. I went to one years ago only because the guy setting it up was a friend and they needed more women to fill in. It might have been more fun if I'd been drunk off my a$$ ...
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 13
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Speed Dating
Posted: 6/5/2014 11:55:50 AM
I’m going to agree with the majority here, and say “Go for it”. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. If they ever hold a speed dating event for my age group, I will definitely go. Hell, I’ve tried everything else, why not? (smile)

I think Ozsealady in message 5 had some very good advice for you. Speed dating is about first impressions, and you want to look your very best, make the best possible first impression.

You should also pay heed to her advice about your pictures here, they could definitely be better.



Speed dating is ridiculous. I went to one years ago only because the guy setting it up was a friend and they needed more women to fill in. It might have been more fun if I'd been drunk off my a$$ ...


But was the one you went to limited to people over 50? If it wasn’t, then you didn’t have a chance from the “get go”.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 14
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Speed Dating
Posted: 6/5/2014 12:15:12 PM
Unlike online dating, women tend to vastly outnumber men in speed dating participation nowadays. Most upcoming speed dating events in my area currently have waiting lists for women but open slots remaining for men. So if you’re one of those guys who’s always complaining about how online dating is a sausage party, maybe you want to try out speed dating.

But of course, not just any guy can participate in speed dating, which is undoubtedly the main reason for their lack of participation. Because most speed dating events are paid participation by both parties, women want to make sure they get their money’s worth (as women are normally disinclined to pay to get dates) so speed dating events tend to be rather selective about which men they include and quite a few of them have upfront requirements for males only (height and income in particular; of course, many speed dating events are for specific types of people of both genders [especially age ranges], with the very first one being for Jews, but even in those cases, the requirements are usually loftier for men than women). But if you can meet those hurdles or find one with no disqualifying requirements and have the personality for it, then you might find it to be a fun night out.

Surprisingly, *I* have been to a speed dating event. One of my close female friends dragged me to it and apparently they had a very low bar (pun intended) on the requirements that night because I made the cut. Despite the fact that I definitely do not have a “speed dating personality,” I actually had a few cool conversations, but mostly because the types of women who participate in these events tend to be very outgoing so they got the ball rolling every time and they were always smiling, no matter who they got stuck with. Most of the interactions were indeed interview-ish (which is different from resume’-oriented online dating how...?), but one woman gathered all the information she needed by asking how my day was going (clever girl). My friend and I got matched about halfway through (organizers didn’t realize we came together – usually that only happens with groups of women) and we spent the time strategizing for the second half using each others’ experiences.

In the end, nothing came of it, of course – no matches for me. (My very attractive friend got several, but nothing came of them in the long run.) One issue is the type of women speed dating attracts is the type who prefers the types of men with personalities that succeed at speed dating. I will say, though, it probably works better for a man like me than something like a POF event, because men MUST have outgoing personalities in order to have any significant number of interactions at a POF or similar event, whereas women are forced to talk to you at speed dating regardless of what your personality (or appearance) is. I’m usually a good one-on-one conversationalist with women who are in an environment where they have to talk to me (like some work environments, for example), but I am weak in group situations in which women have many other options. I will almost inevitably accomplish absolutely nothing in those situations.

So I would not say “never again” about speed dating, and arguably it’s more cost-and-time-efficient than most online dating sites (per face-to-face conversation, anyway), but I probably wouldn’t bother going again without a female friend, as she made me feel like other women thought I belonged there and that I was a decent guy if a woman like that (that is, a woman like them) would be close friends with me – just being some random speed dating loner guy isn’t really a lot different than being some random clubgoing loner guy (God knows that never worked out). And you’re really self-conscious as the universally-agreed upon least attractive guy in the room – which I almost always am, but I’m not almost always pitching myself for dates to attractive, articulate, professional women while sitting next to much studlier competitors. If I’m going to fail badly, I usually prefer to do it out of public view.

“The opportunity to get rejected by more women in one night than an entire month otherwise.”

I have definitely been rejected by more women in a single month of “real life” than I was rejected that night. But that particular month was probably tops all-time for rejections because of the speed dating event.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 15
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/6/2014 2:02:29 PM
The idea of speed dating to me is ridiculous, its almost a farce. And it's expensive-as someone else pointed out, it can run you 25-30 bucks a pop.

I also strongly suspect it's the same "rotation" of singles over and over who just cant get it together. Just a haunch.

BUT-it is also true that when it comes to in person events, women VASTLY outnumber men. Which is why I stopped in person singles events long ago. Not a sausage fest...most like a bubblegum taco fest.

I dont know. I personally think the whole idea is sort of screwed up and unnatural.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 16
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/6/2014 4:03:53 PM
I've never tried speed dating, so what happens if someone catches your interest? Do you get her/his phone number and you're on your own now to arrange a date? Can you get the phone number of more than one person if more than one person catches your interest, or even the phone numbers of all of the people you had a mini-interview with if they all seemed interesting, so you can spend more time with each one to see who would be a better overall match, like in the Bachelor or Bachelorette shows?
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 17
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/6/2014 4:44:14 PM
Not as bad as an app like Tinder...

swiping faces to the right to show interest? Assuming the pics are current, how do I know if she has 3 kids or not and how does she know I'm employed?
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 18
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/6/2014 9:37:33 PM
It depends on the circumstances. The cost, demographics etc. Some speed dating events will target specific groups.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 19
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Speed Dating
Posted: 6/6/2014 9:40:10 PM


I've never tried speed dating, so what happens if someone catches your interest? Do you get her/his phone number and you're on your own now to arrange a date? Can you get the phone number of more than one person if more than one person catches your interest, or even the phone numbers of all of the people you had a mini-interview with if they all seemed interesting, so you can spend more time with each one to see who would be a better overall match, like in the Bachelor or Bachelorette shows?

You need to learn to use google.


After the event, the speed daters turn in their date cards to event organizers. They may be contacted via e-mail the following day, or asked to log onto a Web site to enter the names or ID numbers of people whom they would like to see again. If two speed daters have registered a mutual interest in seeing each other again, the pair receives each other's contact information. From there the couple can contact each other to arrange another meeting or date.



VolcanoKing
The idea of speed dating to me is ridiculous, its almost a farce. And it's expensive-as someone else pointed out, it can run you 25-30 bucks a pop.

You’ve got to be kidding me. $25 is expensive? I thought you lived in LA, the land of the high rollers? (smile)

I have a date tomorrow evening, a first date (not an initial meeting). We’re going to Perry’s Steakhouse, I expect this will run $120 to $150. One of the reasons I came out of retirement was so that I could afford to do this any time I felt like it.


Clooneysmentor
Not as bad as an app like Tinder...

swiping faces to the right to show interest? Assuming the pics are current, how do I know if she has 3 kids or not and how does she know I'm employed?

Life imitates art, or art imitates life, or something. I saw a movie not long ago, 3 young single men were at a party, drinking, carrying on. They were watching all of the young women as they passed by. One of them would raise a hand in the air and make the “swiping” motion, saying words like “Boobs too small, next!”
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 20
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/7/2014 5:28:28 PM
Does speed dating come with speed sex?
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 3/22/2014
Msg: 21
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/7/2014 6:58:28 PM
^^^^^Ahhh, come on.....is it not already speed sex for many guys? hahahah I could not resist.

Speed dating/speed sex......good grief.....
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 22
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/7/2014 8:31:25 PM
^^^^^^^^^
Speed sex? What's wrong with that?

That 3 date rule exists because you ladies are window shopping, just like us men are.

Men evolve with technology just like you ladies do.

One of the 'pratfalls' of online dating.

Sorry, I couldn't resist :P
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 3/22/2014
Msg: 23
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/8/2014 12:10:16 AM

Speed sex? What's wrong with that?

That 3 date rule exists because you ladies are window shopping, just like us men are.


I don't think you "got" what I meant by my comment.....but that's ok....

And WTF with the 3 date rule.....ladies are window shopping.....sorry.....makes absolutely no sense to me....

Re: Speed Dating - I have to say I loved the speed dating scene in the movie Hitch with Will Smith and Eva Mendes....it was funny!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 24
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/8/2014 8:22:14 AM
Speed sexing would be a lot more interesting than the speed dating-which is nothing more than an interview with standard questions, just like going for a job interview. At least it would answer the standard question that's asked at every date interview: "What do you like to do for fun?"
 sactownromantic
Joined: 4/4/2014
Msg: 25
Speed Dating
Posted: 6/8/2014 10:23:00 AM
OP:

You have nothing to lose(except $27), go with a friend or two and have fun. Some events include dinner or lunch so it's not a total waste of time.

I tried it a couple of years ago but it's not for me, too much like a job interview. It's true there are more women than men at these events.

I personally like the speed dating scene in the movie "40 Year Old Virgin"...hilarious!
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