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 snowsurf27
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 1
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gfPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I had turn 28 not long ago and sometime I wonder if its over for me since I have no dating experience. In the past I have tried but I kept meeting girls who were already taken or just not interested so I gave up. So few years later descide to try again after I met this girl in my class last semester. I asked if she wanted to play tennis and we did. It seem like I'm the only one initiate text message and I contact her asking she want to hangout but I feel she always have an excuse of her saying she is busy. So I deleted her number and forget it. I never heard from her since.

Since I'm nearing 30 years old in couple of years I eould say for myself its over because women want experience daters and those been in a relationship. I sometime wonder if having a POF profile open is a waste of time.

Do you guys think I should quit since I'm too old with no dating and relationship experience.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 2
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/4/2014 12:31:52 PM
Don't worry I'm sure someone will drop by soon and cheer you up with the fact he is 48 (or something) and never had a date.

 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 3
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/4/2014 12:55:40 PM

would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf


No, but I might date a 28 year old woman who never had a boyfriend.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 4
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would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/4/2014 3:47:20 PM
"would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf"

No, I don't date guys.

Possibly some ladies may want to date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf. you never know. Stranger things have happened.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 5
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/4/2014 4:58:01 PM
Ask the women in these waters if they would date a 28 year old guy who has phucked over a 100 girls! Ya know for comparison sake.

Women, you will find, are a funny breed. In one breath they will say they want "experience and wisdom" but, on the other hand, they tend to forget how that "experience and wisdom" came about. Silly girls.

And to answer your question, I have yet to meet the right 28 year old guy that I would give the nod to. Not saying I wouldn't, it just hasn't happen yet. ;)
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 6
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/4/2014 8:05:13 PM
No, but I might date a 28 year old woman who never had a boyfriend.


Same here. I wouldn't assume anything is wrong with her because of that. Some people preferred to remain single when they were younger. Or they wanted to focus on school, work, and/or other obligations.
 snowsurf27
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 7
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/4/2014 10:20:47 PM
I think women has it very easy in dating area. No dating experience and still a virgin they can find someone but being a guy its like your out of luck. Oh, well maybe when I get reincarnated I will have better luck second time around.
 cardiology101
Joined: 11/29/2013
Msg: 8
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/5/2014 6:00:35 AM
You just need to be making a lot of money and/or driving a nice car. That's the only thing women care about. You can also get a gf or wife from overseas.
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/5/2014 6:38:29 AM
I'm about 2 years older than you and pretty much in the same boat.

Have I given up, no! Though I have at certain points, at the very least put the whole dating thing on the back-burner.

I think what you really need to remind yourself of is this: Most women, who you've only just met are not going to know or even guess (at least not right away that you've never dated before). As much as female intuition can be a very powerful force, it ain't witchcraft.

A simple a point as the above is, it's sometimes a very easy thing for us 'green' fellows to lose sight of.

Last time I went for a big night out with my friends for example, this random female came up to me & said:

'Whoa, how tall are you?'

I said 'Nearly 6ft 6'

She said: 'I bet you get loads of girls don't you' *Playfully pinches my cheeks*

I smiled a rather ironic smile. If only she knew, LOL.....but then, clearly she DIDN'T!!!!
 sunsetsam
Joined: 8/25/2014
Msg: 10
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/5/2014 8:14:38 AM


How do you explain the high school or college kids with plenty of girlfriends--neither of which are established?


Either those guys have a promising future though or have the gift of convincing a girl that opening her legs is a great idea.




Women in other countries want the same thing as women in America. They want a strong, assertive, intelligent, considerate, confident, charming man. They have standards too.


Some guys have these qualities EXCEPT when it comes to pursuing women. Smart women who can recognize this aren’t going to foolishly hold that against them. Instead, they will approach the guy and be glad they did once the ice is broken and discover what a great catch he is.


These guys who have never had a girlfriend and are pushing thirty know what their obstacles are.

My guess is that both are very shy, lack confidence, and are socially awkward.


Might as well put em out of their misery with a good stoning , eh ? Or at the very least sentence them to a life of loneliness. That’ll learn em !
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 11
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/5/2014 9:49:52 AM
First piece of advice... The only person that knows you've never had a gf is you. On POF it's very easy to lie about that. In real life, way less people ask about it, or even care, than this site would make you believe.


No, I wouldn't date a man who had not dated and was almost thirty. I am attracted to attractive, confident, charismatic, and assertive men.


And you need a girlfriend to be these things? What if we just didn't want one? What if we had bigger issues to focus on, and our lives weren't really in the right place to bring someone into it? No, clearly no guy stays single by choice, so if you don't have a ton of experience, then there's no way you're confident and assertive, attractive depends on the person that's looking.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 12
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/5/2014 10:54:12 AM
Who but a pedophile would want someone who had sex at age 15?

The most intelligent people wouldn't want to have actual sex at such a young age, the confident ones would resist the intense peer pressure exerted upon most male Westerners that he must have sex while underage, and the assertive ones just say no when sex is offered.

OP, watch out for the predatory women who *prefer* an inexperienced guy because they try to manipulate him and recruit him to conform to her dysfunctional "teaching" that exploits him and only benefits her.

Keep the history to yourself and let girls think you might be experienced.

Relationships don't really get more complicated with age or number of partners. Women get older but they still behave like giggly 18 year olds.

Some women on POF judge men by the longest relationship field. You don't want to be with them anyway.
 cardiology101
Joined: 11/29/2013
Msg: 13
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/5/2014 1:55:34 PM

How do you explain the high school or college kids with plenty of girlfriends--neither of which are established?

They're not established, but they still have a "status" in high school. They're football players or basket ball players, etc. They don't have the money, but they're the popular kids.


Women in other countries want the same thing as women in America. They want a strong, assertive, intelligent, considerate, confident, charming man. They have standards too.

True, but their standards are different compared to those of American women. Take my mom for example. She and my dad had an arranged marriage in India back in 1978. My mom only looked at 3 of my dad's qualities: financial stability, loyalty, and most importantly, affection. My parents married within a week of meeting and have been together since 1978.

American women are very superficial and tend to look at the bank balance, the type of car, income, social status, hair-style, size of their ****, skin color, etc. No wonder the divorce rate is so high here. I grew up in three countries so I know from experience.


These guys who have never had a girlfriend and are pushing thirty know what their obstacles are.

Maybe. They have spent a lot of time on their careers - like most doctors and lawyers who don't date till they're in their 30s. Some people might spend years studying for their board exams. But once these guys graduate and get jobs, they have women drooling all around them all the time. I know this from first hand experience.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 14
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would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/5/2014 5:57:42 PM
You asked a girl to play tennis and she said yes, so now ask another one and so on..................
You can have as much life experience as you want to have, the only one putting limitations on you is you. If you say "no one will ever go out with me" it probably because you do not go out and socialize enough. Join a meet up group, hike, play tennis, kayak, go to museums. Force yourself to break your routines and try something new.
My BF and I went to a trivia night at a local bar one night, we lost. But we kept going few weeks and now we are on a first name basis with a few dozen people. Nobody there has more than a drink or two because its a Tuesday night and it is a mixed group of people using their brains and laughing their heads off. There are people from age 25-60 playing. And it is a very cheap night out.
My sister joined a running group even though she was not in shape, now 5 years later she is running marathons and has met a huge new group of friends. It is never too late to break out of your shell.
 snowsurf27
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 15
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/5/2014 7:48:10 PM
I have heard about meeting people abroad and dating the experience is much different than here and I also heard that approaching women there is much easier than here. I can't say for sure but I'm pretty sure their expectations are different than America. cardiology101 made some interesting points about divorce rates and I have to agree they are high in the US according to actual statistical data, and most of them occur to do financial problems. I still believe financial stability is important to any woman especially for long term relationship when children are anticipated in the future of the relationship but some care more about than others.

cardiology101, “American women are very superficial and tend to look at the bank balance, the type of car, income, social status, hair-style, size of their ****, skin color, etc. No wonder the divorce rate is so high here. I grew up in three countries so I know from experience.”
I have heard this pretty often. You kind of make want to try a different part of the world. Lol
If you meet someone overseas the issue is getting them in the US it sure can be very costly. I’m actually part Indian (I’m mixed with other ethnicities) myself and I mainly tried to find Indian girls only and given that I would need to try American women before I pull the plug I guess.



As for Meetup I guess I could join a tennis team. I was going to join Meetup but I hesitated because of the reviews they were getting.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 16
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/5/2014 8:21:59 PM

^^^ You are projecting. Neither the OP or the the poster claimed that they were girlfriendless all those years by choice. Nothing wrong with being single forever if that is what one wants. But they seem to long for more--to feel something is missing.


I'm not projecting anything. I'm shooting down your line of wanting someone confident and assertive, and connecting them to relationships, by implying that because he hasn't had a girlfriend, he's not confident, assertive, charismatic, or attractive. I destroyed that connection by being a confident guy who for a long part of my life just didn't want a relationship.

Until I said anything, the differentiation of WHY they were single their whole lives was only in one reply in the thread, and it wasn't yours... So that's a really good hint that until that point, it was just "If you haven't had a girlfriend, you're not confident and assertive, so I don't want you".

But there's also a big flaw in what you said... No matter how confident I am, I can't force a girl to be attracted to me. So really, what does confidence have to do with anything? And then, what about those timid guys that still get girls? Yeah, there's girls that actually prefer the exact opposite. So wow, you can get dates by being shy, because shy is a turnon to a lot of girls. As a woman, you should know that there's not this one solid mold of "what women want".

Your entire thing you said is flawed and making assumptions about the guy based on this one detail. Your history with girls has nothing to do with how confident you are, and your confidence doesn't make girls who are turned off by it attracted to you, and no amount of confidence will make some 500lb guy weigh less, or make someone who's lazy be more active.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 17
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would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/5/2014 9:41:31 PM
Well, 28 and no date, isn't the worst thing. I didn't have one until age 23, and I have to admit that each one isn't easy. I don't pick up on the cues that women throw out. I'd bet that you don't also. They're pretty unforgiving about that. And you'll have to get used to them getting mad at you because you don't. Like I did. At some point in time, you may decide that women are a waste of time. Only you can make that choice.
 snowsurf27
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 18
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/6/2014 12:33:33 PM
This thread is becoming quite interesting as I'm seeing from experience men that say women don't know what they exactly want and so confused by changing their minds. Also about American women vs women form other countries.
As someone brought up a good point is someone becomes more confident in dating when they had gone out on dates before. If you think of previous experience from a job and those same skill are being applied to a higher position, then your confidence will be higher because you know you can be successful. I thin same applies with dating. I will admit I don't have the confidence because I have not been on any dates but soon I have one I think my confidence will be higher.

If I met a girl who never dated would I hold that against them? No, I would give it a shot. You never know what could it become if you never took the risk.

Do any of you think social stigma is against men for those who have not dated, thinking of them as weak and awkward?
We need more women to reply to this thread to see what their thoughts are.
 snowsurf27
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 19
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/6/2014 4:49:19 PM
No. I think they haven't dated because they are weak and socially awkward.

Sound like social stigma to me. It's like saying a job will not hire a person because they have a learning disability. Some things are beyond people control.

Also it is important to realize some people have not dated because of numerous factors from health problem, employment status (huge one) and assets (cars house and etc...). Employment is the biggest one and trust money does matter. Put up a POF survey and ask how many women would date an unemployed guy? I bet 2K the answer will be zero.
 NoBuddies_Fool
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 20
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/6/2014 5:18:24 PM
I'll take that 2K now......because I would date an unemployed guy.
I love people that make blanket statements......just saying.
Oh....you never thought of us old ones did you....I'm looking for a retired guy!
 gingham7
Joined: 7/26/2014
Msg: 21
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/7/2014 8:02:54 AM

No. I think they haven't dated because they are weak and socially awkward.


That's not always true. There are men that were able to get women at bars and other places. But never had a serious relationship with any of them. It was primarily just sex or a FWB. Plus there are men ( and women ) that spent much of their 20s medical school or studying for another graduate degree and weren't interested in dating during this time.
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 22
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/7/2014 8:20:04 AM
Okay, so you are a 28 year old virgin... that means you have no kids and no STD's - I don't see the problem. People love to make mountains out of molehills. Don't worry about it.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 23
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would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/7/2014 4:44:35 PM

RedrocksJen wrote:

No. I think they haven't dated because they are weak and socially awkward.


I agree with that statement, if you used the word "or" instead of "and". There are those of us who may be socially awkward, but not weak, while others may be weak but not socially awkward. In the end, a guy has to have it all (100% together) AND be in the right place at the right time, AND just happen upon one of those EXTREMELY rare animals - a female human who is ACTUALLY BOTH single AND available AND looking. If all of those factors do not come into play simultaneously, the guy is SOL.
 snowsurf27
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 24
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/8/2014 1:51:55 AM

I'll take that 2K now......because I would date an unemployed guy.
I love people that make blanket statements......just saying.
Oh....you never thought of us old ones did you....I'm looking for a retired guy!


Read this article and I will still keep my 2K. Financial stability play a huge role in dating and relationships.

http://theeconomiccollapseblog.com/archives/would-you-date-an-unemployed-man-75-percent-of-women-would-not
 waynemorris84
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 25
would you date a 28 year old guy who never had a gf
Posted: 9/11/2014 5:57:10 PM
lol I had a gf in high school, broke up with her before I finished school and have had dates since then but no gfs. wish I could find one tho
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