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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 1
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Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at bestPage 1 of 1    
What am I doing wrong? I've had friends of both sexes go over my profile many times, tuning, refining, rewriting and cleaning up things. I removed a bit of content, massaged other bits, rotated through my photos, changed what I can, and still I'm only getting 1-2 profile views per-month, across POF + + Match, using roughly the same profile (the other two sites position the information a little differently in sub-sections).

Can anyone offer me some assistance? Ideas? Criticism? I've got a thick skin, so hit me with it!

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=9138187

Thanks in advance!
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 2
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/8/2014 10:43:21 PM
This:

setuid Wants to date but nothing serious


coupled with 'passionate kisses' and 'touching you' as Interests,

topped with starting with what you want instead of who you are....

Pass.

I will also assume you are initiating messages and not simply waiting for The Hot Chick Fairy to drop one in your lap, right?

The biggest problem is going to be the 'nothing serious' at your age. It has certain unsavory implications. Your call.
 gingersnapOH
Joined: 7/22/2014
Msg: 3
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 1:12:11 AM
Your pics are not the greatest. Your main pic your are wearing a baseball hat, which is usually a no-no. People looking at that pic from a smartphone will see the sideways smile, and it looks like your are learing at us. That coupled with all the sunglass photos and dark photos...just bad. The ones where you are wearing sunglasses, get rid of them. You say you are athletic, but the only full body pic of you is from 2005. You have one from 2005!!! - really?! My point is - get someone to take some nice full body outside pics of you. You friends are not being honest with how good your photos look.

We aren't on here to listen to music - take that bit out.

You aren't grabbing out attention but putting something in bold saying you are grabbing out attention, take that part out.

Your first line is about how you want a slender, fit women. Great that you write what you seek, but putting that as your opening line in your profile is offputting. It needs to go out the end of your profile, or at some point in your profile where you talk about your body/health habits and how you are looking for someone who is similar in build.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 4
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 2:24:54 AM
Your main pic claims to be from 2013, but has a POF watermark. Although I am aware of some reasons for a POF watermark being put onto more recent photos, most people will associate it with extremely old photos and therefore interpret your caption as a lie. Not a good first impression. Same for the last one. Pics 2 and 4 are very similar, choose one and delete the other (#4 is better cos of smile). I would make the 3rd pic your main. Some outdoor pics would be helpful.

Wants to date but nothing serious is a big no no at your age. Very few women in your age range want to date but nothing serious. They are looking for someone to settle down with.

Interests are meant to be hobbies and interests that you enjoy doing. Not a list of everything you "like" on facebook. Get rid of all the filler. For example: leave photography, darts and art, but lose cuddling, "touching you" (WTF) and fatherhood.

Get rid of the music link, it's not allowed on here.
Get rid of the bold line too, it's just a waste of space and their time.

You need to sell yourself before demanding the hot chicks.
Adjective list... not good, end what do you mean on your own your whole life, aren't you divorced with kids?
It's all a bit disjointed with the many small paragraphs, jumping from subject to subject with a lot of filler.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 5
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 5:24:30 AM
You are a handsome Man - have up only current ( within the last 6 months) pictures. Cross heart never seen a picture captioned from 2005 here before. But I bet some ppl's are LOL
The interests - nope I'd prolly block if I got a msg from someone with " touching you" as an interest. Do you get touchy feely at say the grocery store, PTA meeting, etc.
You state in the text you've been on your own all your Life. Hmm, did you and your wife not live together ( says you are divorced)
Kinda old to be undecided about children
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 6
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Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 5:55:37 AM
Super suggestions, all. I've incorporated most if not all of what you have suggested, removed the older photos, cleaned up the profile writeup, removed the icky keywords that would set someone off, moved things around a bit.

I'll see if I can get some more current photos put up. I have looked EXACTLY the same in body type, height, weight, since I was about 20 years old, so if the photos are 1 years or 5 years old, I look identical. I have a lot of different "looks" I've gone through, for parts of my life, parts in theater, and other things, that I wanted to express and show that through my photos.

What I've noticed, through the roughly 275 well-worded, thoughtful, unique emails I've sent to women here on POF, touching on specific aspects of their profile, their photos, or other things (no cut-and-paste, canned emails for me), is that I might get 1-2 replies for every 200-300 emails I'll send. It's pretty bad out there.

Multiply that out across here, and Match.com, and the problem is even worse.

Please take a moment to re-review my profile now, and see if it's any better than before. Thanks!
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 7
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Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 6:03:23 AM

The interests - nope I'd prolly block if I got a msg from someone with " touching you" as an interest. Do you get touchy feely at say the grocery store, PTA meeting, etc.


AhAHAHHAh... point taken! I put that there, because one of my female friends suggested I show a 'softer side', cuddling, and that I don't shy away from PDA and physical contact.

You're right though, that probably comes off creepy and gross. Absolutely don't want that, so I removed it.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 8
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 6:22:10 AM

It's pretty bad out there.

Yes you have to be in the top 5 or at least 10 percentile of profiles to get a decent response rate. Luckily, most guys profiles are pretty lame, and getting a good one is pretty simple! But you still have work to do to get there.

Interests much better, if you remove friends and socializing (everyone likes those) then you'll be down to 15 which fits onto 3 columns and looks neater.

The being on your own thing still doesn't sit right, you were married and have a 10 year old. It also suggests that you can't form relationships. It really needs to go.

The tattoos, remove the "please ask me about them" part - if she is interested she will ask without being prompted.

I would remove references to slender, fit, healthy etc - these all suggest "I am looking for hot women only" which is not good. If you have standards then you can simply message only the slender, fit ones. No need to write it here.

The last 4 paragraphs seem to go on forever, and don't really say much. It would be better to combine these into a shorter one and put it earlier on.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 9
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 6:48:58 AM
My suggestion is to NOT spend a lot of time and energy on a first msg. You have the attention seekers, the married ones, the players.. all who can be time vampires. Send something short and easy - ask one Q.
Don't send the usual hi - I imagine since you've performed you can come up with something clever. Example, if she has a fav movie listed, then send a quote from the movie, include the "
I'm not looking yet will still reply to a msg that is good :/
I like ink but they don't define you unless you are Genest.. so I agree 'bout losing that part.
If you want to show your softer side, IDK, maybe admit you let your daughter paint your toenails hot pink. ( I have a friend who looks like a Biker, tough biker, he always has painted toenails. )
On line appears to be just one venue to meet people, don't put all your eggs in one basket ( altho why would one wish to carry 5 baskets? but you get my drift)
Don't explain the first date/meet, just make your suggestion. I'd not offer up free dinners unless you have deep pockets.
 gingersnapOH
Joined: 7/22/2014
Msg: 10
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 8:19:04 AM
you may not think it, and your friends may assure your of such, but saying you haven't changed in 20 years....maybe. I like to think the same, but I would be fooling myself. The wrinkles on my face beg to differ.

That being said, using the 10 year old photo as your main pic is just highly misleading. It would be like me posting only pics of my face and then meeting a guy and being surprised that he was uspet that I am a fat chick. Oopsie. You are doing a dating #1 no no.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 11
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 8:38:44 AM

Can anyone offer me some assistance? Ideas? Criticism?



I observed two things with your profile that made me wonder.

First, your "Main" profile picture.

Your picture shows two men.
A short guy in the back (not you?)
And another guy holding
what looks like a roll of toilet paper.

Of course, when you click the little thumbnail....
I can see it's a roll of raffle tickets?
And you're wearing
what appears to be
a wedding ring.

Secondly, the paragraph regarding who you're looking for.....


I'm seeking a slender, fit, confident, active, healthy woman who is able to hold her own in any conversation; someone who is not afraid of the unknown, and does not mind being pushed to grow further than she's been before. My ideal partner would be someone with substance, depth and an undying intensity for life.


I wonder how many women who read that, instantly threw up their hands and said. "That sounds like me!"


With those exceptions noted,
your profile read
pretty polished.
Good luck.
 gingersnapOH
Joined: 7/22/2014
Msg: 12
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 9:09:25 AM
^^lol. I hadn't noticed the wedding ring! But, yes, that is the problem with 10 year old photos. You took off the bad ones, but your best photo is one from ten years ago.
Which makes me believe that you have indeed changed in appearance. All the newer ones your face looked different/chubbier.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 13
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Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 9:14:53 AM

It also suggests that you can't form relationships. It really needs to go.


Well, I can't form relationships, that's why I'm here looking for a partner! :)

Seriously though, I was married for 1 year, before catching my wife sleeping with her boss at work, and immediately divorced her. So technically, I've been alone my whole life, except that 1 year. But I get your point.

I've made the other corrections you've suggested.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 14
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Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 9:18:27 AM

Don't send the usual hi - I imagine since you've performed you can come up with something clever.


Here's an example of an actual email I sent to someone, for your review. I don't send the "Hi" or one-word emails. I don't believe in that.



Loved the profile, before you hid it :)

Hi! I noticed you dropped by my profile, I just wanted to say thanks! Your interest is very flattering.

I really enjoyed what you wrote in your profile. You're rather fascinating. We seem to have quite a bit in common, and I loved that you're very much into blogging about vegan, gluten free recipes.

I was curious, are you celiac? Or are you just a great foodie? Can you tell me more about that?

I'd love to learn more about you, and would open myself to the same for you.

Hope to talk to you soon!
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 15
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Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 9:27:27 AM

All the newer ones your face looked different/chubbier.


I've actually lost some weight since then, as a result of being stressed, over-worked, and rushing all around with a much more active daughter (lacrosse, soccer, gymnastics, girl scouts, you know the drill)

Being a photographer, I'm usually the one holding the camera, not the one in front of it, but I'll try to get some more-recent photos of me somehow, and put them up.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 16
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 9:32:50 AM
setuid...the notion of "dropping by your profile" should not be interpreted as "showing interest" at all. The woman may have been curious to see why a man was holding onto full roll of toilet paper in his POF dating profile! It is good to mention you noticed her interest in vegan, gluten-free cooking. Yet do NOT ask personal medical questions in your first note! Instead, mention that you "recently tried a new gluten-free blueberry cake from such-and-such bakery and asked if she has ever tried their food"...or whatever. Personal medical questions can wait until later.

Secondly, have a friend take two dozen well-lit, OUTDOOR, crisp photographs using a high-quality digital camera...which is preferred over a fuzzy cellphone. This is primarily due to better (and steadier) ergonomics plus superior capability of a camera to process available light. Include a variety of backgrounds, activities, and various articles of clothing to add greater interest. Upload the best images of the bunch. Ensure you continue to date and caption each...to make them entertaining to read. Good luck with your romantic search. :-)
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 17
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Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 10:36:48 AM

the notion of "dropping by your profile" should not be interpreted as "showing interest" at all. The woman may have been curious to see why a man was holding onto full roll of toilet paper in his POF dating profile!


Normally, I'd agree, and I get a few drive-by, 1-hit-wonders, but in the case above, this one woman had visited my profile at least 1/2 dozen times in a single week (on Match, not here), and so either she was looking for something I'd written, showing my profile to friends, or she was waffling on an interest (or not) in me, so I just reached out to tug on that string a little bit.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 18
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 10:42:48 AM
For me that msg would be too hmm, probing.
One Q max first missive. ( that's what you sent :p)
If the msg is rather funny and different you'll get her attention. In one of my many odd profiles I had nothing but movie quotes - yet I had the bestest msgs.
I know they are raffle tickets but they do look like a TP roll
And if you haven't changed in 20 years I'll have to assume you are Dorian Gray. Nothing wrong with getting older, beats the alternative
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 19
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Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 11:26:41 AM

And if you haven't changed in 20 years I'll have to assume you are Dorian Gray. Nothing wrong with getting older, beats the alternative


It absolutely irritates all of my peers and former classmates, who have either lost vertical or gained horizontal.

The only thing that has changed, other than my years on the clock and experience, is a bit more silvering in my goattee and head, but I'm still in the same shape, roughly the same weight (give or take 5 pounds) from my weight in high-school. I'm floating at 6'1" tall, 170-175 pounds, depending on whether I'm doing a heavy workout or heavy cycling that week.

My skin is just as taut, my muscle tone is the same, my bones may be a bit more brittle, but that's not on the outside, unless I've had a horrible accident + compound fracture :)

I have been compared to Keaneau Reeves, Patrick Stewart and Dorian for our ability to hold our years, that's true.
 gingersnapOH
Joined: 7/22/2014
Msg: 20
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 11:47:51 AM
I would believe you, hut you have yet to post a good up to date full body pic. It takes all of 1 minute to do, so please don't say you haven't the time, as you have taken the time to respond to all of us.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 21
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 12:11:31 PM
What am I doing wrong?


Overall, probably counting on women using more logic to make their decision, than the whims they actually use.

That being said , however, speaking specifically to your message:


Loved the profile, before you hid it :)

Hi! I noticed you dropped by my profile, I just wanted to say thanks! Your interest is very flattering.

I really enjoyed what you wrote in your profile. You're rather fascinating. We seem to have quite a bit in common, and I loved that you're very much into blogging about vegan, gluten free recipes.

I was curious, are you celiac? Or are you just a great foodie? Can you tell me more about that?

I'd love to learn more about you, and would open myself to the same for you.

Hope to talk to you soon!


More unsettling than the medical question is that it appears a little too "effusive" for a first message. "Loved the profile", "very flattering", "you're rather fascinating", "loved that you're very much into", "love to learn more about you", all in the space of a few sentences, all add up to a little bit over the top for a first message. I would suggest toning it down some, and being a little more matter of fact and a little less over the top.
Best of luck.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 22
Refined my profile, still getting 1-2 views per-month, at best
Posted: 9/9/2014 6:32:01 PM
Really, all you needed was this much:

I really enjoyed what you wrote in your profile. We seem to have a bit in common, and I loved that you're very much into blogging about vegan, gluten free recipes.

Can you tell me more about that?

(first name)
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