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 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 1
need some assistancePage 1 of 1    
I have been on this site before and I get very few if any replies. Sometimes ladies will message back but as soon as I mention meeting up, they stop. I also realize that I am not the type of guy that most ladies are looking for. Also, I don't really want to hear the whole "put more stuff about yourself" because that has never helped me in the past. Just saying.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 2
need some assistance
Posted: 9/10/2014 1:03:29 PM
patchjoker13...welcome to the Profile Reviews forum.
As you know, you have a non-traditional appearance that will appeal to a unique audience.

My suggestion is to eliminate all the negatives and "disqualifiers" in your narrative.
Imagine if you were a woman, would you wish to interact with a man who announces he has little time, for example?

You will wish to rephrase things like that to make it far more appealing and workable.
Share you are a hardworker with many demands yet simultaneously eager to share time with a special woman.
See how that works? Good luck and keep us posted here as you make modifications to your profile.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 3
need some assistance
Posted: 9/10/2014 6:30:51 PM
Comics, Horror, MMA... I had to check your age again. You may want to add a couple of more 'grownup' Interests in that field.

You are correct in that you are probably 'not the type of guy that most ladies are looking for' based on this current profile version. It's up to you to decide if you're going to wait for that lightning strike matchup or re-assess how you want to be perceived. In the meantime....

I am not good at writing these profiles and I'm sure they all start looking the same after awhile.
>>> You're right. Why lead off with someone everyone says?

I have a good job, a car, a house, and I am honest.
>>> Nice list. Says nothing about you, really.

I know that I am not the best looking guy in the world but I am not looking for a super model.
>>> What if she thinks you ARE good looking and you've told her you'd settle for someone ugly in this same line? That's a double insult to your viewer.

I am open to dating and maybe building something more if the right connection is made.
>>> You are on a DATING site. Probably safe to expect your viewer to figure this one out.

I like a strong woman who also knows how to be kind and affectionate.
>>> Strong like bull? or confident personality? Affectionate like horny all the time? unless you want to sound like a perv, that last part can go. You'll know soon enough.

I am a busy person but I can make time for the people who are important to me.
>>> This has already been discussed.

I am trying to find people who are somewhat close to me to make things easier for everyone involved.
>>> Then don't write to someone who isn't close to you. Simple fix. Otherwise it sounds silly.

I know a lot of you ladies also have busy schedules. If you want to know more about me, just ask.
>>> Yes, we do. Yes, we know. Wasted line.

Obviously writing profiles is not your forte. But unless you are counting on having someone fall in love with your photos, you are going to have to make a bit more of an effort. As you don't "want to hear the whole put more 'stuff about yourself'' in the profile, perhaps you could make the 'stuff'' you have now interesting instead of vague, cliche and generic?

If you don't think you can do that, and if you don't add smiling photos so you actually look like you may be fun to spend some time with, you are going to continue to be disappointed. Good luck either way.
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 4
need some assistance
Posted: 9/10/2014 7:27:57 PM
^^^^
As I figured, no real helpful insight, just insults from the female perspective. How is hockey more mature than MMA, I played hockey for many years and know many hockey fans that like MMA. Only think young people like comics, go to a big comic convention and look around. How is the word affectionate mean something perverted, unless the ladies are already assuming all the guys on these site are pervs to begin with.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 5
need some assistance
Posted: 9/10/2014 7:43:10 PM
It's fine to be a fun person, I wouldn't be with a dull woman ever, but women take relationships very seriously, and if you don't appear to be serious then why would they even consider getting to know you?
In my opinion, none of your photos suggest that you are earnest, although the main image comes the closest.
As well you need to widen your description of yourself. All comic books are the same, aren't they? So are all games.
And yet when you get into it, they are quite different, just like people are different. It's your job to tell WHY you are different and WHY this woman of your dreams should rise up and meet you.
This profile needs lots of revising to be taken seriously.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 6
need some assistance
Posted: 9/10/2014 7:52:59 PM
My follow-up suggestion is to also revisit the existing selection of photographs.

Have a friend take two dozen well-lit, OUTDOOR, crisp photographs using a high-quality digital camera...which is preferred over a fuzzy cellphone. This is primarily due to better (and steadier) ergonomics plus superior capability of a camera to process available light. Include a variety of backgrounds, activities, and various articles of clothing to add greater interest. Upload the best images of the bunch. Ensure you continue to date and caption each...to make them entertaining to read. Good luck with your romantic search. :-)
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 7
need some assistance
Posted: 9/10/2014 11:02:30 PM

As I figured, no real helpful insight, just insults from the female perspective


No insult intended, just my honest reaction. If you TRULY are wondering why you're not having luck, read again without the big ol' chip on your shoulder. Do you need me to explain to you why you come across this way?

If you seriously thought I was insulting you, perhaps (no, INDEED) online dating is not going to work for you. Good luck....
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 8
need some assistance
Posted: 9/11/2014 7:59:25 AM

Also, I don't really want to hear the whole "put more stuff about yourself"



Patch,
Why don't you..... put more stuff about yourself?


That said, you don't have to write about the boring stuff.


I get up each morning at ten AM, and light a smoke.
Don't do it!


Attempt to express what you feel like,
when your running on all eight cylinders.

My suggestion.....
Describe how you feel when you walk into a tattoo parlor.
Halfway through a colorful ink design.
Seconds after a new piercing.
When you push though a challenge,
and you did good.

"I love it when a plan comes together!"
(Quote by Hannible Smith from the A-Team)

You don't have to bare your soul.
Just show 'em a glimpse, of the real you.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 9
need some assistance
Posted: 9/11/2014 9:07:36 AM
Curious - what type of guys do you think we look for?
If you don't want to change the profile why ask for a review?
I remember you before, it was Patchman wasn't it?
As soon as you mention " not much time" you lose a lot of audience.
Why do you think they don't want to meet you when you ask them?
I have a lot of Q this morning
The profile as it stands now has a defeatist vibe
You clearly want to meet someone as you are searching - why not make the profile more dynamic
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 10
need some assistance
Posted: 9/11/2014 12:37:49 PM
You just come across as much younger than 41. Are these recent photos?

If you feel you are not the type that most women would want, then why bother to be on a dating site? You experience what most men do, I feel and it takes a very strong sense of self not to be affected by it all. A lot of women are not serious about actually meeting a guy from online as it is fraught with hazard and just like to look at what is on offer and move on. That they dont want to meet up means they are not as they portray themselves to be and just like to play games. So dont expect anything and you wont be disappointed.
 jukebox_cowboy
Joined: 8/12/2014
Msg: 11
view profile
History
need some assistance
Posted: 9/11/2014 2:18:04 PM
Profile needs to be rewritten. Sounds sad and nothing but clich├ęs.

First date section is too vague. Name something fun.
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 12
need some assistance
Posted: 9/11/2014 7:22:32 PM
I have made some changes. I do look and dress younger than I am. With this site's age limit restrictions it hurts me due to the fact that younger girls tend to like me better. I don't think my updated version is as sad. But it probably does not matter much anyway because many of the ladies I message do not even view my profile. Oh well.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 13
need some assistance
Posted: 9/11/2014 7:32:21 PM
No, you look your stated age. A few of the photos you look thinner/heavier
Perhaps you are msging the wrong women *shrug*
But this is profile reviews not pity party - I recall you had some issues with US, hope those have been resolved
Oh, and attacking ppl for giving you their suggestion - well makes you look like a douche
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 14
need some assistance
Posted: 9/11/2014 7:45:37 PM
^^^^^^^
As far as my age, most people think I am a lot younger than I am. You are the first person that ever said that I look my age. Also, I know when I am being insulted, things like "maybe if you would get some grownup hobbies", is an insult, I am not stupid. And no, things have not changed on here. It seems the ladies can say whatever they want and when a guy stands up for himself he is a "douche".
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 15
need some assistance
Posted: 9/12/2014 6:34:22 AM
Maybe 'cause you dress younger
No need to stand up for yourself when asking for free advice - if it offends you just ignore it.
I'm no lady :p
In interests - it would imo be better if you were more specific - you know like Stan Lee is a god, Poe was the master of horror.
To me horror could be many things ( like trapped on a Disney ride for 9 hours, cleaning the fridge, etc)
Instead of thinking people are going to reject you why not try thinking women would be happy to hear from you?
It's just a msg - don't attach so much of your ego to it.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 16
need some assistance
Posted: 9/12/2014 7:54:41 AM

"maybe if you would get some grownup hobbies",


That's not what I wrote. Again, you are getting your knickers twisted for no reason. I've suggested you re-read what I wrote without the automatic defensiveness kicking in. I will ask again - do you need me to explain why I wrote that? If you're having a problem with the most basic concepts of dating profiles, again, this may not be for you.

And yes, you do look your age in your photos. Sorry.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 17
need some assistance
Posted: 9/12/2014 8:00:38 AM

things like "maybe if you would get some grownup hobbies", is an insult

Maybe if you hadn't mis-quoted then you might have some credibility but if you look carefully the original text has quote marks around 'grownup'. Meaning, if you write some things that are more maturely perceived, then you'll be perceived more maturely. Seriously dude you need thicker skin if you want to survive on this site (let alone the forums!).

Standing up for yourself is not required in this arena. It's a free advice forum. If you think you need to "stand up for yourself" then you're doing it wrong. You're being given advice, you can take it or leave it. Anyway on the the advice (most of which you will no doubt perceive as insults but hey ho such is the nature of the beast).

Your photos are horrible. Dark, unsmiling, bad colour levels, mirror selfies (really what are you 12). You need a whole new set of smiling, good quality pics.

Your text is simply one very boring-looking paragraph, many people will simply not be bothered to read it in this format. And even if they do, what are they greeted with? Pessimism. Great.

You freely admit that your profile is boring, but still expect it to work? No. Write something interesting and exciting. Nobody is going to "just ask" anyone whose profile is as bad as this. They are going to "just ask" if you give them something worth asking about.
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 18
need some assistance
Posted: 9/12/2014 10:16:16 AM
^^^^^^^^^
Here is the exact quote: "Comics, Horror, MMA... I had to check your age again. You may want to add a couple of more 'grownup' Interests in that field."

Again, I am not stupid, I know an insult when I see one. This suggests that comics, horror, and MMA are things that are immature, does it not? If someone listed interests such as hiking, nature, and animals and a person wrote "well maybe if you had a few less "hippie" interests", that would not be considered an insult?

Here is another: "Your photos are horrible. Dark, unsmiling, bad colour levels, mirror selfies (really what are you 12)"

Yet another insult. It is funny how people act when they are sitting behind the comfort of their computer. It is not the advice that bothers me, it is the way people go about giving it. It is clear to me that many people on these forums were bullied as children or something and they can't wait to dish out that frustration on others that appear weaker. But this is online, not real life, the truth is not always as it seems.
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