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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wr      Home login  
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 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 1
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My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Ever since my last failed attempt at a relationship alittle over 2 years ago, I have called off all sexual or romantic relationships. This was more to do with my own sanity at the time, I was severely depressed that I could never get out of the first few dates stage in every relationship of my life. Being shy and having low self esteem sucks like that. Now, I am a very open and honest person, even to a fault (I do lie sometimes but not often). It is pretty easy to tell that I have no skill with women, but whatever, that isn't the point of this thread. Anyways, since I stopped trying to get in a relationship with women, I actually became happier, and more self confident. I just get constantly teased that I need to get laid. Guys at work have suggested that they would hook me up with their female friends just so I can blow my wad and relax. The problem is, I don't want to have sex like that, because I am a bit of a romanticist, a bumbling, clumsy fool of one, but a romanticist all the same. I want to only have sex with someone that loves me, and I love them. They keep pestering me about getting laid though and it is really annoying me. I just wanted to know if I am doing right by calling off sex and relationships for now, or am I just digging myself into a bigger hole?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 2
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/11/2014 4:50:42 PM
They're teasing you b/c they're bored, and its an easy subject to choose. nothing energizes a boring routine than sex talk.

if you're doing what makes you feel better, and hurting no one in the process..then you are doing the right thing. Banging your head against the wall to do something your heart isn't in, will result in more lack of success.

just kick back, relax, find inner peace, and enjoy. there's more to life than trying to please idiots :)
 BeachBikeHike
Joined: 8/15/2014
Msg: 3
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/11/2014 5:26:23 PM

Just kick back, relax, find inner peace, and enjoy. There's more to life than trying to please idiots.


Excellent advice!

And in the future, keep your business to yourself. You don't need to share your status with co-workers or casual friends.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 4
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/11/2014 5:30:43 PM

Posted by BeachBikeHike:
"And in the future, keep your business to yourself.
You don't need to share your status with co-workers or casual friends."

BeachBikeHike is precisely correct.
Laugh it off and simultaneously be cool and aloof.
Coworkers will very quickly lose interest.
 rftv1020
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 5
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/11/2014 6:38:17 PM
It is male hazing/bonding. My world pretty common and we can get brutal with each other but harmless. To answer your question, wait find the right time and girl for you. But then again if you are not looking or trying then you will never find the right one. It never hurts to go on a date and socialize. Even if you are not looking for anything other then a night out. Also spending too much time alone is not healthy. Find a movie date, go out and have fun. Enjoy the night and each others company and leave it at that. Also tell the guys at work you met someone and are now in a relationship banging each others brains out. They will leave you alone.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 6
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My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/11/2014 7:10:31 PM
BeachBikeHike, in a right to work state like Texas, being perceived as gay is just as bad as being gay in blue collar work places. I would rather tell the truth that I quit all sex and relationships, than get fired for "no reason". If I clam up and leave whenever a dude sex talk between coworkers pops up, rumors will go around that I am not interested in women, if that goes around it would be natural to assume people would suspect I was gay.
Of course it is up to the culture of the work place, but right now I don't trust my company in the slightest to not descriminate. I have seen too much for that.

Edit, Rftv, lying heavily is not in my nature. I can't do it because it is very hard for me to keep it all straight.
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 7
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/11/2014 8:05:38 PM
Stop telling your idiot co workers all of your business. They dont have any right to know what you do or dont do outside of work, you arent obligated to tell them either.
 billingsmason
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 8
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/11/2014 8:38:32 PM

banging your head against the wall to do something
!?
Yer doin it rong......

Try banging their heads against a wall.
Subtle difference, but effective.

Hazing as per 1020 said.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 9
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My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/12/2014 2:23:25 AM
Maybe I was over dramatic in this thread...
My bad, it was unintended.
I just feel so fake if I hang out with guys, I can't relate that well to them.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 10
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My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/12/2014 4:49:42 AM
Your coworkers should grow up and stay out of your sex life. YOU should stop discussing it with them.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 11
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My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/12/2014 8:28:51 AM
Yall are right, I really ****ed myself up with this work site. Perhaps its time i find a new workplace and totally give up on talking to coworkers at all except for business matters. I always get caught up when people are friendly to me. I think I might have a friend, but it always ends the same way.
 PDAapproved
Joined: 5/19/2014
Msg: 12
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/12/2014 10:37:45 AM

Yall are right, I really ****ed myself up with this work site. Perhaps its time i find a new workplace and totally give up on talking to coworkers at all except for business matters.


Wow, you are swinging from one extreme to another ... It's not only either full disclosure or no talking at all except business. Everyone is simply saying nobody needs to know the exact date and time of your last sexual escapade. Just do the 'I don't kiss and tell' and leave it at that ...

I'd say your earlier assessment of you being overly dramatic is an accurate one ... maybe you should work on that personality trait.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 13
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/12/2014 11:11:48 AM
The moral of this story is not whether you should get laid or not. Whether you should wait for love and letter flow or not. But whether you should tell your coworkers your most intimate thoughts.

Dude. To start with. Don't give a f vck about what they say. Second. Be a little more exclusive with the type of friend that you reveal all your details. And three. Realize also that men, men friends banter. Maybe they don't really care if you do or not, but out of banter they tease you.

I would not wait until I was in love to have sex. With that said, I don't particularly like one night stands and prefer the type of intimacy that you can develop with a woman you are fvcking for the millionth time. And yes, fvcking a woman you are in love with is spiritual.
 HondoGal
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 14
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/12/2014 5:20:36 PM

Ever since my last failed attempt at a relationship alittle over 2 years ago, I have called off all sexual or romantic relationships. ..I just wanted to know if I am doing right by calling off sex and relationships for now,


I believe you are absolutely correct in abstaining from sex and relationships until YOU know you are ready once more. It does not matter what your pals think when it comes to an issue as sensitive as this. After suffering a tragedy even the thought of a relationship was abhorrent to me so I understand where you are right now. Hopefully, it will change for you.

The fact that you are entertaining friendships with women is a good thing; perhaps through these friendships you will be able to once more trust yourself in a relationship. Remember though there are no guarantees in matters of the heart. It takes guts to be vulnerable to another but without vulnerability you cannot find love.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 15
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My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/12/2014 5:57:42 PM
You are probably right PDA.
Today was a hard day at my work. I feel incredibly overworked and underappreciated with my current workload. Seriously how the hell did anybody think it was a good idea to put only 1 PT/MT (2 of the most used methods) technician on a refinery turnaround is beyond me. I work really hard even though I am a natural born **** up. I try so ****ing hard to make any job I do go smoothly, but its never enough. I am fustrated with myself so much.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 16
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/13/2014 3:25:20 AM
Made those same mistakes with woman who were just picking up and not looking for a relationship....stinks but its part of the "game"..so to speak......just be careful of shelfing your good morals cause she could come around and you would surely miss the boat!.....enjoy your life its short.....good luck!
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 17
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My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/13/2014 9:38:16 AM
Today is my first day off in 2 weeks. I wound up sleeping for 13 hours. I am feeling alittle better, but sluggish. I am still so tired. Its kind of bad that the only times I can be at peace now a days is when I am sleeping.
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 18
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/13/2014 11:15:43 AM

(I do lie sometimes but not often


So lie and say you got lucky on the weekend, smile and drop the subject..done discussion!

Good luck
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 19
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/14/2014 9:18:42 AM
Coworkers should have no effect on whether you date or have sex.

Your situation is more proof how Western men are constantly pressured to have sex, to be slaves to women.

Celibacy is cool. Abstinence is honorable.

You're the victim of a hostile work environment. The behavior of your coworkers is a form of sexual harassment.

Many ways to shut up the idiots at work.

If a male coworker accuses you of being gay, tell him that's wishful thinking on his part because he's gay and wants you. Or tell him to ask his sister / wife / girlfriend / daughter, as she has firsthand evidence you're not gay.

When losers at work asked me if I'm dating, I would tell them they must be trying to live vicariously through me because I, the glorious alpha male, have a fascinating, exciting life, while he (usually married with kids) is stuck in a marriage he hates, being whipped, doing whatever his wife wants, changing diapers, etc. If they want you to get married or have kids, tell them they hate it and want you to join their misery.

If an attacker is female, accuse her of wanting you for herself. Report her for harassment, especially if she uses such language as "get laid".

In your first post, the guys at work actually sound well meaning. You could tell them politely you'd rather not discuss the subject. If they persist, bring out the above big guns. You could also tell them you're happier without a woman. In a macho workplace, such "misogyny" is respected. At my last job, the boss would ask why I don't ice fish. I told him ice fishing and deer camp are mostly for married men as an excuse to get away from the wife and kids. Then he would laugh.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 20
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My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/14/2014 1:48:13 PM
Take a page outta' Chaz Palmentiari's book. His character, Sonny, said it best in the movie, "A Bronx Tale".

"Nobody cares, kid."

See, my guess is that you're "over sharing" with your colleagues, as an attempt to bond and/or commiserate.

Stop it! "Nobody cares." Not really.

I agree 555% with all who typed, "Stop discussing your personal life at work."

I "get it". You likely feel that you want to "bond" with "the guys".

I try my damndest not to socialize with coworkers, especially male ones. A certain amount of this bullS&^$ may be necessary for "playing the game". But, I keep it to work, sports, the weather, etc.

As an earlier poster wrote, "Western men are conditioned to be p-whipped slaves to women." And, I also agree that very often "the guys" tend to be married (and bored), and attempt to live vicariously through single guys (because, maybe not so much nowadays; but, for years and years, the media portrayed bachelor's as living this 1969, Hugh Hefner, swinging dyck, 'man about town' lifestyle). And, if you got married at 22, to the first boy or girl who ever smiled at you..................then, it's the whole, "grass is always greener" thing.

I have told many a prying (male and female) married/cohabitating coworker, (especially the ones who go on and on about, "If I were single, I'd be...........................").

I have told several of them, "No, you wouldn't. You've been 'out of the game' for 100 years. There's a reason that you stay in the half-@$$ed situation you're in. If you really wanted to be out here, you would be."

Nobody's asked me twice.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 21
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/15/2014 12:46:14 PM
Make up a story where you got laid...and then stop talking to your coworkers about your private sex life.

I can cajole/tease/play word games with the best of them, and I never actually disclose my actual stats...it is a balancing act, but you can do it too. People may walk away thinking they learned something about me, but in reality...all they had was pleasant talk and learned nothing of my personal life...which is my preference with the co workers.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 22
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My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/18/2014 2:33:02 AM
Well it doesn't matter anymore for now because I got kicked off of the project. It was deserved, I was beyond stressed out, and I messed up. At least I don't have to hear them making fun of me any longer. I just give up, I am in severe depression, because my reputation is tanked. You could do things right 99.9% of the time, but mess up once and you become worthless. I am just so tired.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 23
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My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/18/2014 8:00:24 PM
It is no ones business if you are cellibate. You have the right to wait and find someone you really mutually want to be with. Life is definely better if you are not cellibate. I am cellibate because I just don't meet anyone who mutually wants to, or that I want to.
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 24
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/18/2014 9:10:38 PM

At least I don't have to hear them making fun of me any longer. I just give up, I am in severe depression, because my reputation is tanked. You could do things right 99.9% of the time, but mess up once and you become worthless.


Man, get yourself some professional help as soon as you can
You got deep seated interpersonal issues you need to get a firm handle on, that require an expert's counseling;
not by a bunch of strangers on an internet dating site.
 rftv1020
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 25
My co workers teasing of my celibacy is making me think I might be wrong.
Posted: 9/19/2014 12:04:58 PM
WOW, All that because a couple guys are playing around with you at work. Just guys!!!
Couple weeks ago I posted my buddy's pic and e-mail address on Craigslist under men looking for men. LMAO Not sure why he was so pissed, apparently he received a crap load of replies with pics!!!!
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