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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > How important are looks to guys????      Home login  
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 Erin_Cat
Joined: 9/4/2014
Msg: 1
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How important are looks to guys????Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
And be honest. I'm tired of hearing that "it's better to look unique", that bombshell-looking girls "look ridiculous", or that "cookie cutter beauty is boring". I want to get one thing straight: I am a pretty conventionally attractive female with a small nose, an hourglass figure, and a C-cup. But, I have the "ugly girl complex" as I did not become beautiful until later in life and had to go through my high school and college years as unattractive. I am still scarred and don't know if I will ever be fully healed.

Most men don't fantasize about having sex with Mayim Bialik, Sofia Coppola, Lady Gaga, or Joni Mitchell. Given the choice between any one of them and Jessica Alba, Megan Fox, Beyonce, or Cheryl Tiegs which batch would you choose? Or fantasize about having sex with or just seeing them naked?? Before men get to know the real you and your personality, you have to reel them in. So let's tell the truth here.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 2
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/13/2014 2:55:32 PM
Many of those women would need to be Googled to provide you a comprehensive answer.
What can be shared easily is that I much preferred Mary Ann over Ginger in Gilligan's Island for sure.
 rftv1020
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 3
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/13/2014 3:17:18 PM
100% Important, But none you listed. My fantasy, I get to pick my own.

(1) Jolene Blalock

(2) Olga Kurylenko

(3) Luci Lu
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/13/2014 3:57:22 PM
Looks are extremely important. To everyone, from what I've been able to discern, and that especially includes all the people who declare that it's all about character, or lifestyle, or whatever else they pretend.

On the other end of things, it's also true that what constitutes "good looking" to a given person can vary greatly, not only from one person to the next, but also within an individual.

Part of this is because we learn to associate personality traits, habits, friendliness, approachability, and even sexual proclivities, with certain aspects of appearance.

Taking myself as an example, I have found that I like a variety of "types" of looks. In my life, I've had crushes on girls who wore cardigan sweaters, girls who wear glasses (ugh, not the wide, thin, bright blue ones with chains attached, those are weird!), girls who don't wear makeup ever, girls who wear makeup sometimes and not other times, several blondes, a bunch of brunettes, a few redheads, some girls with short hair some with long hair. In the famous people side of things, I thought Marilyn Monroe was fugly, until I got to know her real personality later in life. Current hotties for me, include Cate Blanchett, Alanis Morrissette, Elizabeth Hurley, Holly Hunter, Sara Bareilles,and several others. I have an odd attraction to Flo, the spokeswoman-character for Progressive. What has made each of them attractive to me, has only INITIALLY been looks. As with Monroe, their character had to be attractive as well.

As for fantasizing about seeing women naked, that's a different thing entirely. It has nothing to do with wanting to have a relationship with them, or even necessarily, being attracted to them. It's more like genetic curiosity. I guess I fit the common stereotype of guys, who want to see pretty much EVERY woman naked, just because.

No interest here in Jessica Alba, Megan Fox, Beyonce, or Cheryl Tieg, sorry. Just not my types, especially Tieg. Her eyes look so blank, as though she never thinks or feels anything. One revealing attraction I once had, for me anyway, was to Helen Slater. I figured out after a while that it wasn't because she was a hot blonde, who looked great in a Supergirl suit. it was because she was CALM. Collected. She REASONED to work things out, or at least her characters always did.
 rftv1020
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 5
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/13/2014 4:47:37 PM
Igor

I second Flo, no clue why. LOL Most of my male friends young and old usually agree. I think someplace in our brain we separate really hot, really sexy and really fun. But it most cases dark hair and eyes over blonde and blue anyday.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 6
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/13/2014 5:43:41 PM
Looks are the first thing I encounter in a woman 99% of the time. Therefore, they are an important first impression. However, looks can be either enhanced by a great attitude / intelligence, or quickly loose their luster in a poor attitude / intelligence. In other words, it's the look that gets you the attention, and the rest of the package that keeps the attention.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 7
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/13/2014 7:10:38 PM
I have found that in real life it is easy to fall for men who I would not normally consider attractive just by way of getting to know them outside of a dating situation. The most 'chemisty-intense' relationship of my life (lasted 9 months) was with a man who was not physically appealing to me. I caught up with him a couple of years ago and still don't find him attractive in appearance. Chemistry was still there though. We acknowledged it, laughed about it, but did not act on it (just for the curious among you :)

A man just has to be attractive *to me*. That attraction, for me, often comes by way of his intelligence, kindness, humour, and all the other good qualities I look for. If I make the time, and am allowed to have the time, to get to see those sides of his personality, looks are not important at all.

Unfortunately with online dating, there is this compulsion to make a decision that is largely based on physical attraction quite early on - so before you have a chance to naturally fall "in like" with someone.
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 8
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/13/2014 7:22:33 PM
Looks I believe with both men and woman are what ultimately matter most. My reasoning behind this statement is because in nature looks matter because when people see someone who's pleasent too look at, there perceived as healthy. People who are obese and maybe less attractive overall are just challenging to be with. Because even if their nice salt of the earth people, many others who are prety good in the looks department will likely be embarassd to be seen with someone lacking in the looks department. A lady who has a well shaped naturally curvy feminine body and a pretty face to boot, is amazing. However, a man or woman who have great looks but a not so great or just plain bad attitude is like a beautiful house on the outside and maybe on the inside as well, but then when you step inside there's this bad smell. Would anyone want too live in a house like that (lol)?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 9
as important as it is to women
Posted: 9/13/2014 8:26:50 PM
Like money, looks are a tool--specifically, getting your proverbial foot in the door. Its literally the first thing you notice...and not everyone is attracted to the same look. Sometimes tho, it isn't just a flat belly or a teapot curve of a breast, its how someone carries themself. Flo the Progressive gal, looks like someone who's fun, easy to talk to, not perfect enough to be unapproachable, just the "girl next door", maybe a little tom-girl. Scarlett Johanson looks like someone I could have a weekend of monkey sex with, Diana Riggs (just watched, "On Her Majesty's Secret Service", sorry, I like that Bond movie) looks like someone I could date and make out with, even tho I prefer a woman with curves rather than slender.

what thrill people want to feel at a particular moment, can affect what attracts their eye at that moment--the hottie to win over, the earthy one to get your gun off. Taylor Swift is pretty and talented, but writing songs about all her bad ex's is a turn-off. Sometimes you spot a pretty face in a crowd--concave nose,pronounced cheekbones, eyes that don't look glassy and lifeless, but show spark and spunk and that there's a brain going on behind them--but then you see how they present themselves, awkward or ice princess or privileged, and your interest is gone.

I've known a few women who got attractive "later", and they all used their new-f0und attractiveness to reel in the jerks who kicked them to the curb when younger. They were trying to get what they lost in the past, reliving childhood if you will. Hopefully, back when you were "one of us", you developed personality as an alternative way to attract a person's attention. I think that's a way to do an end-run around the issue of looks.

of course, there's also the matter of what your potential partner is looking for. if they want to impress other people, for example, your looks and demeanor are important. If they are racking up a score just to fill a hole in their identity, who you represent to them could be important. If they just don't want to be alone, then just getting along with them may be important.

if you want more than sex, or sexual attention...then you want more than looks. but they shall get your foot in the door, just like shiny packaging gets you to pick up one toothpaste over the thousands of others in the aisle, to look at and then decide yes or no. you don't pick up each one to make the decision.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 10
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/13/2014 8:31:59 PM
Yes looks are important, but it might not be why you are thinking. We all know how attraction works, we humans want genetically strong partners so that we have stronger babies.
A persons looks, sort of tell a story at a glance. Do they take care of themselves physically? Are they rich or poor, do they have confidence, are they packing the desired genes, and what social circle do they hang out with?

Now you can change most of that with a makeover, or switching cloths, or learning different ways to move.
What counts just as much is personality though, I repeat. A woman's PERSONALITY IS EQUALLY IMPORTANT OR MORE SO depending on preferences.

For me its about 50/50 depending on my mood.
You can be the most beautiful woman in the world, but if you got a lousy personality, I am going to want to throw your ass off a bridge and piss in the water for good measure.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 11
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/13/2014 9:20:28 PM
Why is it if a guy posts a similar question it's deleted almost instantly for being redundant?

If you want to know if looks matter, just try to get a date using a dating profile with no photos whatsoever.

In online dating, looks are important, but telling the truth is even more important. Photos can't 'lie' as easily as written claims put in a profile text. Pix are also supposed to be very unique to each person. Since we can only glean tiny bits of honesty from what gets advertised, and since a picture is worth a thousand words, it's easily the most significant selling point you can have.

That being said, what guys consider 'attractive' is STILL left up to the individual beholder, not what Cosmo or your friends or whatever tells you. The best advice is to write a profile targeted at your ideal match, not some generic piece of crap that tells nothing specific. Generic profiles are basically counting 100% on photos to tell their story, because having an interest in "Getting Outside", "Music" or "Having Fun" are so vague they mean absolutely nothing.

Final point - post at least one photo of your 'true' self with no makeup or other enhancements to show you CAN be brutally honest and you're not afraid and need to hide behind a lot of fake stuff. Guys respect that kind of courage, no matter if they give you attention over it or not.
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/14/2014 5:20:38 AM
Contrary to what you've said here, I'd actually say MOST guys will actually fantasize MOST about: The Girl next door, their friends mum, the local barmaid with a nice big pair of jubblies etc. Why? Because that's how dudes are sensorally wired. The familiar fox raises the most...ya know!!!!!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 13
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/14/2014 7:18:37 AM
Just to belabor a point:you know what makes Flo the Progressive Insurance commerical so...attractive?

She acts like a dude. When she makes a mistake, she doesn't dwell on it. doesn't obsess over it. she just moves on, maybe even laughs about it. but she doesn't keep coming back to it. unless a woman is smoking hot, most fellows get quickly annoyed with a woman who suffers from, "can't let (sh)it go" syndrome.

she isn't girly, either. You actually see her riding motorcyles, etc. She isn't dressed up for a night on the town, but you can still see yourself doing fun activities with her, not following you, but keeping up. she's totally "dateable", rather than "eye candy". you don't care so much if she'll make you look good or not to total strangers who know nothing about you but what they see in that first few seconds.

of course, she's not butt-ugly, either. Looks help (think of the blonde playing a redhead in the Wendy's commericals), but how a woman presents herself can get a guy's attention, too...even when she's a fictional character.

now I'm curious about what EC looks like...:)
 fuglygirl
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 14
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/14/2014 8:29:51 AM
Lol, OP did you have extensive surgery? Not sure how you could go from being "ugly" and be "scarred for life" in high school and college, then later bloom into a "conventionally attractive female with the right nose, figure and C cup breasts" without surgery.THAT kind of change from your early 20s to age 37 would be very rare, without going under the knife.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 15
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/14/2014 9:14:27 AM
I think we need to see a before/after photo comparison.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 16
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/14/2014 1:54:29 PM
Many men consider a late bloomer ideal. An obscure 70s progressive rock song "Touch My Soul" breaks down why. The girl who's been pretty all her life is spoiled by the free ride. Sweeping generalizations, but many believe they're often true.

Are you in contact with any of the guys who treated you well in the school days? It makes the most sense to be loyal to the guys who already liked you before you became more mainstream attractive.



It takes more for me to like someone. The arbitrary standards of "beauty" based on millimeters from cheekbones, ratios and other nonsense sound like an AKC show, and those who judge on such measurements are invariably ugly.

Most celebrities do nothing for me. I don't even know what Angelina Jolie looks like, but know I wouldn't find her appealing. Society tells us to like people who don't impress me at all: Natalie Portman, Taylor Swift, etc.

One contemporary celebrity who always looks terrific is Katy Perry. Her energy and personality always make her eyes and smile great no matter how strange or unflattering they make her hair or makeup or clothing.

My favorite female athlete is Victoria Azarenka. There are many pretty blonde Russian tennis pros. Azarenka stands out with her personality and passion.

You guys can have Flo. She's obnoxious and paints on tons of makeup. The best gals in commercials I can think of are the models in Victoria Secret ads. Most are traditional beauties.

Nearly all the Bond girls are at / near the top for looks. My favorite Bond girl is Ursula Andress in Dr. No. Not just because she's blonde and looks fantastic in a bikini. Her character is ideal (to me): a misanthrope who lives with a menagerie of animals, and a badass who paddles a canoe miles by herself to explore a remote island. Unfortunately, many of the girls in the earlier Bond films smoke, a complete turnoff. Diana Rigg smokes in OHMSS. Another misanthrope who lives with a menagerie of animals is the girl character in the movie Short Circuit. She might not win many beauty contests, but I'd choose her over any Bond girl who smokes. Being kind to animals adds a lot to my rating of a girl, while smoking makes her appeal a zero.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 17
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/14/2014 7:50:41 PM
actually, fuglygirl, my guess would be, she was overweight in high school--where most immature people consider body shape more important than facial structure, since most girls are covering it all up with makeup anyway--and then dumped the weight, by picking up smoking or, as some of my former coworkers did, drugs--the favored escape for the insecure.

as for how any female knows she's suddenly attractive...I'd say, from a sudden change in attention. from ignored to flirted-with.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 18
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/14/2014 8:13:25 PM
For both genders, the package gets the attention - what's in it keeps the attention. Few people operate against basic attraction. What looks good to them, of course may not look good to everyone, so it's less about looks and more about personal attraction.
 alanj805
Joined: 4/16/2014
Msg: 19
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/15/2014 6:00:31 AM
When I was a child I would fantasize about celebrity beauty--Brooke Shields or whoever. They were beautiful in their own way and presented as glamorous, and lacking depth and experiences of my own, they became my own standard for attractiveness.

At some point in my 20s I think I became more drawn to those who look different or unique, although as far as physical attraction in general it is now less important to me, but would be less about their features than it is the way she carries herself, what she projects with her eyes, etc. There is one person on these forums whose pictures have me absolutely in knots...
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 20
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/15/2014 7:52:08 AM
I am shallow as fvck.

Yes looks are very important to me. And I am completely and totally politically incorrect. I like super skinny women, that are athletic. The problem is that I have always gotten away with dating these waifs. I've dated women that looked like Christy Turlington, Michelle Phyffer, Audrew Hepburn.

With that said, I cannot stand the barbie doll look. Or the playboy magazine type of look. I can't stand the Pamela Anderson look or the typical cheerleader look. It annoys the crap out of me.

Yet, the catwalk look, skinny, tall, chisel is awesome.

The last girl I dated, when we met she looked a little geekish, with a no make up look. I wanted to get away from that other look. Still she was, well is, very skinny. So after we started dating, I told her that I have an affinity to the ballet and the Opera and don't mind if my girl decks out and is all girlly.

So, a different side of her that has remain dormant came out, and in the last couple of events that we went, for some reason the photographers liked her. She has a look that is a cross between Sheryl Tieg and Nicole Kidman.
 sunsetsam
Joined: 8/25/2014
Msg: 21
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/15/2014 8:25:33 AM

Most men don't fantasize about having sex with Mayim Bialik, Sofia Coppola, Lady Gaga, or Joni Mitchell. Given the choice between any one of them and Jessica Alba, Megan Fox, Beyonce, or Cheryl Tiegs which batch would you choose? Or fantasize about having sex with or just seeing them naked?? Before men get to know the real you and your personality, you have to reel them in


I have never been able to fantasize about celebs simply because I don’t know them. Sure, I enjoy looking at them but when it comes to FASTASIZING during self serve using people I actually KNOW is effective big time vs people I DON’T KNOW .

I suppose some guys enjoy jerkin it to a picture but I prefer imagining women in certain scenarios – so hot to imagine a woman you know behaving a certain way !
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 22
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/15/2014 10:43:55 AM

But, I have the "ugly girl complex" as I did not become beautiful until later in life and had to go through my high school and college years as unattractive. I am still scarred and don't know if I will ever be fully healed.


Wow, that is a tragic story, my heart moves for you, this brought a tear to my eyes.

I am sure there must be support groups you can join that help you with the pain of once being unattractive.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 23
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/15/2014 1:09:18 PM

But, I have the "ugly girl complex" as I did not become beautiful until later in life and had to go through my high school and college years as unattractive. I am still scarred and don't know if I will ever be fully healed.



There is a way to solve this problem.
Find some guy you find very attractive mentally and physically. Lock yourself in a room for 24 hours. You will spend one hour talking, then one hour fvcking. Fvck no less than 8 times. Objectify him, and have him objectify you. Have one of the sessions where you do not do anything, but allow him to do anything he wants. Have another one of the sessions where he doesn't do anything, so it's your job to get him hard and then to fvck him. Tell each other (without any derogatory words) what you did to each other on the previous hour and what you enjoyed about it.

Repeat as needed.
 fuglygirl
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 24
How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/15/2014 2:04:31 PM

I am still scarred and don't know if I will ever be fully healed.


I'm sure you will not be 'healed' as you choose to dwell on the events of at least 15+ years in the past and feel sorry for yourself..and seem to want others to feel sorry for you as well..

for someone from a First World country who was able to attend college..

Go find someone else to cry for you, sister!
 Erin_Cat
Joined: 9/4/2014
Msg: 25
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How important are looks to guys????
Posted: 9/18/2014 9:33:05 AM
My boobs honest to God grew from a 32B to a 32C when I was 21. My acne went away and my skin completely cleared up when I was about 30. I got a nose job in my early 30's.
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